Help or advice please, complaint from neighbour

[oilandwater]

I’m confused and dumbfounded!
Ive received a letter from the council asking for me to attend mediation with my neighbour as she has a complaint. I’ve no idea what the complaint is and the council say they don’t know what it is either. I’ve exchanged Christmas cards, wine etc text messages, with this neighbour. I have no idea what the problem is. I contacted the council last week and asked can it be resolved without mediation, on their advise they said go to see her, which I did, she wouldn’t answer her door. I texted her beforehand. No reply to the text either.
This morning the council phoned to say she still wants to go to mediation, but for WHAT?
So.....if I refuse to go to mediation what happens next?
Any advise greatly appreciated.

[Alucidnation]

As you can’t get hold of her, Instead of asking the internet, why not wait and just go to the mediation?

Radical idea I know but you never know.

[alfie2244]

How on earth can you mediate on something you have absolutely no idea what the issues are?

So you walk in with absolutely no preparation? I wouldn't refuse point blank but would insist you are prepared to attend but need some information 1st.

[oilandwater]

As you can’t get hold of her, Instead of asking the internet, why not wait and just go to the mediation?

Radical idea I know but you never know.


Because when I want to sell my house, you have to declare if you have any problems with your neighbours, it goes on record. Also what am I mediating about?

Edited by oilandwater on Monday 4th March 14:37

[Lemming Train]

What's it got to do with the council if you own your house? Tell them to fk off.

[oilandwater]

alfie2244 said:

How on earth can you mediate on something you have absolutely no idea what the issues are?

So you walk in with absolutely no preparation? I wouldn't refuse point blank but would insist you are prepared to attend but need some information 1st.

Yes I’m prepared then. I honestly don’t know what the problem is.

[Gargamel]

oilandwater said:

Because when I want to sell my house, you have to declare if you have any problems with your neighbours, it goes on record. Also what am I mediating about?

I think I would refuse to go, unless you can see a broad outline of the issue on paper before hand.

I would text your neighbour too, and say you are perfectly willing to discuss any issue in a neutral venue and without reacting, but you'd really like to know what the issue is upfront.

Has you neighbour heard you shouting or otherwise acting in a shall we say aggresive manner ? Be honest, are you a bit intimidating ?

[Dr Doofenshmirtz]

I certainly wouldn't attend..not without knowing what the issue is. As you say, this may on record and will be dug up if you sell, so be careful. It's probably something silly like car parking, noise, wheeley bin location, tree/hedge cutting etc.

[Marlin45]

I would go with Alfie's suggestion personally. You are not going to waste time and money turning up to 'mediation' without being prepared?

I assume she lives on her own, retired with hours to burn?

[geeks]

The Council will know, they can't arrange mediation unless they are informed as to what the issue is. I would, as per the others, be refusing to attend until someone has done their actual job in the first place.

[citizensm1th]

oilandwater said:

Because when I want to sell my house, you have to declare if you have any problems with your neighbours, it goes on record. Also what am I mediating about?

Not if they move first

And remember they will have the same issue when they come to sell

[alfie2244]

Just make it clear you are prepared to attend and not refusing......no Court in the land could hold that against you IMO...IANAL btw. but I do have a copy of the Jackson ADR handbook 2nd ed

[oilandwater]

Marlin45 said:

I would go with Alfie's suggestion personally. You are not going to waste time and money turning up to 'mediation' without being prepared?

I assume she lives on her own, retired with hours to burn?

Yes divorced, lives alone, no job.

[Riley Blue]

Lemming Train said:

What's it got to do with the council if you own your house? Tell them to fk off.

Environmental health an' stuff, councils enforce that.

[geeks]

Riley Blue said:

Lemming Train said:

What's it got to do with the council if you own your house? Tell them to fk off.

Environmental health an' stuff, councils enforce that.

Neighbor could also be a council tenant.

[citizensm1th]

Riley Blue said:

Lemming Train said:

What's it got to do with the council if you own your house? Tell them to fk off.

Environmental health an' stuff, councils enforce that.

Unless he has been throwing his waste over her fence like a board chimpanzee in a zoo I can't see that it can be anything other than maybe a noisy tv

[Pica-Pica]

You could phone Council and say, you have no issue with neighbour, tell her to come and see you. I would ignore, and try and see her along the lines of “we have always got on well, and I hope you would let me know if there is an issue”.

[swisstoni]

I think it would be sensible to be ‘available’ for mediation even if it is to find out what it is about. Obviously this would have to be at a mutually convenient time which may never occur.

But I also don’t think the OP is wracking their brains sufficiently to not imagine what is possibly bugging this neighbour.

[Alucidnation]

oilandwater said:

alfie2244 said:

How on earth can you mediate on something you have absolutely no idea what the issues are?

So you walk in with absolutely no preparation? I wouldn't refuse point blank but would insist you are prepared to attend but need some information 1st.

Yes I’m prepared then. I honestly don’t know what the problem is.

If you haven't done anything to upset them, what are you going to prepare for?

[Stella Tortoise]

I'd not attend any meeting without seeing an agenda first, it's unprofessional.