Your Favorite Numpty, Thread
Discussion
What's you [i]favorite[/i] numpty?
I've had two today, the first was when I arrived at a "T" junvtion and wanted to turn right. I looked left, and there was a convoy of traffic in the distance. I looked right and there was one vehicle approaching, so I waited for him, 2 cars lengths from the junction he indicated left and turned. :irked: By now of course the convoy from the left was upon me and too close to pull out. (Fech!)
No.2 Numpty, was a Micra (woman driver) on the outskirts of a town. Following 2 cars, the first one indicated to turn right. Said, numpty in front moves left and slows (OK so far) [i]enough room to pass on the inside,[/i] and..............continues to slow, aaaaannnd continues to slow........and stop. If she wanted to stop why didn't she she fech*%" indicate!!! instead of leaving me wondering what the F*%"^>? she was doing?
:irked:
I've had two today, the first was when I arrived at a "T" junvtion and wanted to turn right. I looked left, and there was a convoy of traffic in the distance. I looked right and there was one vehicle approaching, so I waited for him, 2 cars lengths from the junction he indicated left and turned. :irked: By now of course the convoy from the left was upon me and too close to pull out. (Fech!)
No.2 Numpty, was a Micra (woman driver) on the outskirts of a town. Following 2 cars, the first one indicated to turn right. Said, numpty in front moves left and slows (OK so far) [i]enough room to pass on the inside,[/i] and..............continues to slow, aaaaannnd continues to slow........and stop. If she wanted to stop why didn't she she fech*%" indicate!!! instead of leaving me wondering what the F*%"^>? she was doing?
:irked:
The F350 (utterly huge truck thing) that pulled out in front of me on a soaking wet smooth concrete road yesterday.
I discovered a few things.
1) A brand new Pontiac Grand Prix has a socking great V6 lump, 4 air bags and all the toys, but lacks ABS.
2) US economy tyres are good for 50K miles, and offer virtually no grip at all.
3) The over servo'd brakes make cadance braking very hard.
4) A Grand Prix has a habit of fish-tailing when you lock it up.
I missed the truck.
I discovered a few things.
1) A brand new Pontiac Grand Prix has a socking great V6 lump, 4 air bags and all the toys, but lacks ABS.
2) US economy tyres are good for 50K miles, and offer virtually no grip at all.
3) The over servo'd brakes make cadance braking very hard.
4) A Grand Prix has a habit of fish-tailing when you lock it up.
I missed the truck.
My nomination goes to the red Vulva yesterday who, in rain and spray from sitting behind a bin wagon too close, decided to pull out to overtake.
They had been in the same spot for 4 miles, at 40-45 mph on a fairly clear NSL with lots of straight sections.
When they did attempt a slow-mo overtake, there was a line of traffic approaching headed by a v.large wagon.
Lights flashed and brakes were applied but red Vulva made it past.
For the next 3 miles, they sat about 2 cars length in front of the said bin-wagon they had risked life and limb in overtaking.
There were countless more, obviously, especially since we ventured into town yesterday.
There'll be more today just like it
They had been in the same spot for 4 miles, at 40-45 mph on a fairly clear NSL with lots of straight sections.
When they did attempt a slow-mo overtake, there was a line of traffic approaching headed by a v.large wagon.
Lights flashed and brakes were applied but red Vulva made it past.
For the next 3 miles, they sat about 2 cars length in front of the said bin-wagon they had risked life and limb in overtaking.
There were countless more, obviously, especially since we ventured into town yesterday.
There'll be more today just like it
8Pack said:I thought you were going to say that they stopped and flashed you out.
the first was when I arrived at a "T" junvtion and wanted to turn right. I looked left, and there was a convoy of traffic in the distance. I looked right and there was one vehicle approaching, so I waited for him, 2 cars lengths from the junction he indicated left and turned. By now of course the convoy from the left was upon me and too close to pull out. (Fech!)
Always makes me laugh when someone stops and there's no one behind them... Numpties!
puggit said:
I thought you were going to say that they stopped and flashed you out.
Always makes me laugh when someone stops and there's no one behind them... Numpties!
Even worse are the ones who drive along in front of you and then slam on the anchors to let someone out of a side street, even if you are the only 2 vehicles in sight on the main road
reanimate said:
The ones driving on the slip road, who then slow down to join a fast flowing motorway. You know who I mean ...
Or the one that i nearly ran into who had stopped at the end of the slip road. You don't expect to be faced with a Honda Accord stationary with two wheels in lane 1 and two wheels on the slip road while 70 year old duffer watches artic units tearing past!
MilnerR said:
The ones driving on the slip road, who then slow down to join a fast flowing motorway. You know who I mean ...
Or the one that i nearly ran into who had stopped at the end of the slip road. You don't expect to be faced with a Honda Accord stationary with two wheels in lane 1 and two wheels on the slip road while 70 year old duffer watches artic units tearing past!
That has got to be at number 1 in my all time 'numpty things to do when driving' top ten.
bennyboysvuk said:
This is especially amusing if someone cuts you up and you furiously clean your windscreen at them.
Done that a few times
Or in an unfamiliar you switch on the rear windscreen wiper by accident, and then spend the rest of the journey trying to switch it off...... meanwhile the wiper is screeching across the window like a soul in torment
parrot of doom said:
How about the Honda Accord driver sat 6 feet off my bumper on the M62 today, with rain and mucho spray everywhere? All because I left a 200 yard gap in front of me to the next car.
What's more annoying is the numpty who cuts into your braking distance. You leave a sensible gap and it gets filled (usually by blokes with suit jackets hanging in the back), so you drop back to regain your braking distance and another numpty cuts in!
I followed a mondeo down a dual carriageway today and we get to a roundabout and the mondeo signals right ime going straight on,no problem thinks!, i then she signals left and tries to cut in front,then shakes her head at me 
as she comes down the next stretch of dual carriageway next to me she's now looking rather flustered in the right hand lane,so i zoom off and ime watching her as she carries on down the dual carriageway in the right hand lane @ 40mph with all traffic building behind her not knowing wether to undertake her.
I see a lot of these right hand lane huggers on dual carriageways,the're F*****g pests!!
as she comes down the next stretch of dual carriageway next to me she's now looking rather flustered in the right hand lane,so i zoom off and ime watching her as she carries on down the dual carriageway in the right hand lane @ 40mph with all traffic building behind her not knowing wether to undertake her. I see a lot of these right hand lane huggers on dual carriageways,the're F*****g pests!!
And there is always the one poodling along at about 40-50 in the inside lane of a dual carriagewey, "well done so far", and you are coming up in the outside lane, almost about to pass them, and they see a car coming down the slip road.
What do they do "The buggers pull out in front of you causing you to slow down just to be nice to the guy coming down the slip road" Theese guys/gals really **ss me off big time.
What do they do "The buggers pull out in front of you causing you to slow down just to be nice to the guy coming down the slip road" Theese guys/gals really **ss me off big time.
streaky said:
The pedestrian who presses the button on the Panda (or whatever) in front of me when I am the ONLY car in sight! - Streaky
That winds me up no end. I use my eyes when I'm crossing at a Pelican, and if there's a decent gap in the traffic I can cross at without changing the lights then I do so.
Not recent, but a true story. M4 near Swindon - long before the new cameras and all that. Totally empty motorway, middle of a bright sunny day with perfect visibility, making good progress in lane 1, come across Vulva estate doing 50mph in lane 3. Not wishing to incur the wrath of any lurking members of Wiltshire's finest by undertaking, I move out into lane 3 a respectable distance behind said Vulva and wait for him to move over.
Nothing happens.
Nothing continues to happen.
Flash flash.
Still nothing happens.
Flash flash flash!!
50mph, lane 3.
Flash flash flash flash HORN!!!
Vulva leaps to the left as if avoiding an object in the carriageway. But only as far as lane 2. I accelerate past. As soon as my rear bumper is level with the Vulva's front, he leaps back into lane 3 with barely inches between us, flashes and hoots at me and I can see him in my mirrors gesticulating wildly at me as if I'd just raped his sister. He's still doing 50mph in lane 3, and is still there when I eventually lose sight of him.
Quite the numptiest numpty I have ever encountered in 18 years of driving. My wife was in the car, and was rendered speechless by the incident. I never had the opportunity to thank the driver
>> Edited by moosepig on Friday 3rd June 01:40
Nothing happens.
Nothing continues to happen.
Flash flash.
Still nothing happens.
Flash flash flash!!
50mph, lane 3.
Flash flash flash flash HORN!!!
Vulva leaps to the left as if avoiding an object in the carriageway. But only as far as lane 2. I accelerate past. As soon as my rear bumper is level with the Vulva's front, he leaps back into lane 3 with barely inches between us, flashes and hoots at me and I can see him in my mirrors gesticulating wildly at me as if I'd just raped his sister. He's still doing 50mph in lane 3, and is still there when I eventually lose sight of him.
Quite the numptiest numpty I have ever encountered in 18 years of driving. My wife was in the car, and was rendered speechless by the incident. I never had the opportunity to thank the driver
>> Edited by moosepig on Friday 3rd June 01:40
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