Anti-social parking behaviour - what would you do?
Discussion
Hi,
Something that's been bothering me/had an effect on me recently, and wanted a bit of a WWYD/get it off my chest. No frozen sausages to be permitted.
I live in an area where generally people have 2 of their own spaces, but most still choose to park on the street (despite there not being a great deal of space available). The estate has some 'guest' spaces which are shown on all legal documents as being council/highway property, and not owned privately (this is on deeds maps and the land searches).
As you'd expect, some of the local psychos have decided they belong to their house. I recently needed to park my car and one was the only space available - I asked my neighbours and they said (and had implied prior) that they were unowned and first-come-first-served spaces, so it would be completely fine to. So I did.
I was out yesterday (on foot) but had popped home to meet someone at a pre-arranged time. I then noticed I'd been blocked in. Aforementioned psycho neighbours confronted me going apepoop and made all kinds of hostile and aggressive threats that amounted to 'if I didn't move my car they would [...]', claiming it was private property and all sorts. I couldn't get a word in edgeways, and despite the proximity, I don't know them at all (I have lived here for a number of years, but some neighbours are anti-social/stand-offish with some, cliquey with others. It's all very odd).
I get the feeling that this is how they've been about it before, due to a pre-existing conversation with another neighbour where I think they implied someone thought they owned it. I also had an eye out on the neighbour in question as, despite being quite a 'keep ourselves to ourselves' types, they had started to shown signs of confrontational behaviour.
I was disappointed that one of the neighbours who told me they were free spaces was stood nearby during the whole thing and did nothing to interject/help, only saying hello to them. It was all a strange set up, and due to the unexpected and full-rage nature of it, it left me a bit shaken.
Is this "just one of those things"? It seems wrong to think that people can threaten people into thinking they own land which isn't theres, but I expect it's somewhat normal. It's quite different to the 'space on the street' thing, as the land in question is not 'on the road' as such.
Just as a PS, I know a lot of Pistonheads threads start with trolling/blaming the OP for their own situation, but this incident has flared up some underlying mental health issues I thought I had overcome (anxiety/insomnia etc), so if we could skip that bit I'd be grateful.
Something that's been bothering me/had an effect on me recently, and wanted a bit of a WWYD/get it off my chest. No frozen sausages to be permitted.
I live in an area where generally people have 2 of their own spaces, but most still choose to park on the street (despite there not being a great deal of space available). The estate has some 'guest' spaces which are shown on all legal documents as being council/highway property, and not owned privately (this is on deeds maps and the land searches).
As you'd expect, some of the local psychos have decided they belong to their house. I recently needed to park my car and one was the only space available - I asked my neighbours and they said (and had implied prior) that they were unowned and first-come-first-served spaces, so it would be completely fine to. So I did.
I was out yesterday (on foot) but had popped home to meet someone at a pre-arranged time. I then noticed I'd been blocked in. Aforementioned psycho neighbours confronted me going apepoop and made all kinds of hostile and aggressive threats that amounted to 'if I didn't move my car they would [...]', claiming it was private property and all sorts. I couldn't get a word in edgeways, and despite the proximity, I don't know them at all (I have lived here for a number of years, but some neighbours are anti-social/stand-offish with some, cliquey with others. It's all very odd).
I get the feeling that this is how they've been about it before, due to a pre-existing conversation with another neighbour where I think they implied someone thought they owned it. I also had an eye out on the neighbour in question as, despite being quite a 'keep ourselves to ourselves' types, they had started to shown signs of confrontational behaviour.
I was disappointed that one of the neighbours who told me they were free spaces was stood nearby during the whole thing and did nothing to interject/help, only saying hello to them. It was all a strange set up, and due to the unexpected and full-rage nature of it, it left me a bit shaken.
Is this "just one of those things"? It seems wrong to think that people can threaten people into thinking they own land which isn't theres, but I expect it's somewhat normal. It's quite different to the 'space on the street' thing, as the land in question is not 'on the road' as such.
Just as a PS, I know a lot of Pistonheads threads start with trolling/blaming the OP for their own situation, but this incident has flared up some underlying mental health issues I thought I had overcome (anxiety/insomnia etc), so if we could skip that bit I'd be grateful.
I live in a similar arrangement and we've got a couple visitor spaces, I parked my car there once, it sat for a few days(nothing unusual I had 3 cars then so that one didn't get driven) and the other two were on the driveway.
and while having 3 cars and using space is no excuse my neighbor decided that I have not:
been living "here" long enough to use a space
report me to DVLA(told me their responded with "the car is taxed, insured and legally parked you can't do anything")
report me to police(as abandoned car)
blocked it in(I saw it but since I didn't need the car that day I did not care)
had a MASSIVE screaming rage induced go at me for parking there.
plastered my car with tape and hand written pages with "this car has been reported as abandoned to operation crack-down"
basically, there are a lot of very special people around you! it was quite funny how he had no leg to stand on and walked away.
mind you, said neighbor has got 2 parking spaces and 2 garage spaces and only 2 cars. So refuses to park both of his cars on his driveway(wide driveway so both can be driven out without blocking)
he thinks said space is "his" because it is nearest to his property.
I have since parked there a few more times and had no new notes.
and while having 3 cars and using space is no excuse my neighbor decided that I have not:
been living "here" long enough to use a space
report me to DVLA(told me their responded with "the car is taxed, insured and legally parked you can't do anything")
report me to police(as abandoned car)
blocked it in(I saw it but since I didn't need the car that day I did not care)
had a MASSIVE screaming rage induced go at me for parking there.
plastered my car with tape and hand written pages with "this car has been reported as abandoned to operation crack-down"
basically, there are a lot of very special people around you! it was quite funny how he had no leg to stand on and walked away.
mind you, said neighbor has got 2 parking spaces and 2 garage spaces and only 2 cars. So refuses to park both of his cars on his driveway(wide driveway so both can be driven out without blocking)
he thinks said space is "his" because it is nearest to his property.
I have since parked there a few more times and had no new notes.
BertBert said:
You've described a situation, what are you looking for though from your post?
Bert
It's partially a rubber ducking exercise I guess, get it out of my system. The other part of it is maybe some anecdotes/advice on how to 'cope' with such people or the situation. It's made me just want to sell and move to be honest.Bert
grudas said:
I live in a similar arrangement and we've got a couple visitor spaces, I parked my car there once, it sat for a few days(nothing unusual I had 3 cars then so that one didn't get driven) and the other two were on the driveway.
and while having 3 cars and using space is no excuse my neighbor decided that I have not:
been living "here" long enough to use a space
report me to DVLA(told me their responded with "the car is taxed, insured and legally parked you can't do anything")
report me to police(as abandoned car)
blocked it in(I saw it but since I didn't need the car that day I did not care)
had a MASSIVE screaming rage induced go at me for parking there.
plastered my car with tape and hand written pages with "this car has been reported as abandoned to operation crack-down"
basically, there are a lot of very special people around you! it was quite funny how he had no leg to stand on and walked away.
mind you, said neighbor has got 2 parking spaces and 2 garage spaces and only 2 cars. So refuses to park both of his cars on his driveway(wide driveway so both can be driven out without blocking)
he thinks said space is "his" because it is nearest to his property.
I have since parked there a few more times and had no new notes.
I swear that people like this would have been taken away in the 50's.and while having 3 cars and using space is no excuse my neighbor decided that I have not:
been living "here" long enough to use a space
report me to DVLA(told me their responded with "the car is taxed, insured and legally parked you can't do anything")
report me to police(as abandoned car)
blocked it in(I saw it but since I didn't need the car that day I did not care)
had a MASSIVE screaming rage induced go at me for parking there.
plastered my car with tape and hand written pages with "this car has been reported as abandoned to operation crack-down"
basically, there are a lot of very special people around you! it was quite funny how he had no leg to stand on and walked away.
mind you, said neighbor has got 2 parking spaces and 2 garage spaces and only 2 cars. So refuses to park both of his cars on his driveway(wide driveway so both can be driven out without blocking)
he thinks said space is "his" because it is nearest to his property.
I have since parked there a few more times and had no new notes.
I am protective and paranoid about my cars, so wouldn't want to park anything there for fear of having a car vandalised to be honest. What's annoying is that the fact that they hog the space means that it forces other visitors onto the street. That's been an area of annoyance for me, because said visitors often see the next best space as on the pavement across my drive
Truthfully, I'd either move house or park elsewhere. There just isn't any reasoning with some people and the headache that could ensue if you try and take them on just isn't worth it, especially if you are already facing mental health problems.
I used to get so angry over situations such as this, however as I've grown older (29) I've come to realise I just want an easy life and can't be bothered dealing with knuckle dragging mouth breathers.
I used to get so angry over situations such as this, however as I've grown older (29) I've come to realise I just want an easy life and can't be bothered dealing with knuckle dragging mouth breathers.
Knoxville2410 said:
Truthfully, I'd either move house or park elsewhere. There just isn't any reasoning with some people and the headache that could ensue if you try and take them on just isn't worth it, especially if you are already facing mental health problems.
I used to get so angry over situations such as this, however as I've grown older (29) I've come to realise I just want an easy life and can't be bothered dealing with knuckle dragging mouth breathers.
I don't park there anyway, it was something I had to do for the first time in all of maybe 6 years because I was having some work done.I used to get so angry over situations such as this, however as I've grown older (29) I've come to realise I just want an easy life and can't be bothered dealing with knuckle dragging mouth breathers.
I swear incidents like this knock years off your life. It doesn't seem worth it
There's no winning for you here, OP.
These sort of knuckle-draggers aren't reasonable people so, despite the rights and wrongs, he will not believe he's in the wrong no matter what.
I would just move on, avoid this person, and try to forget about it. You could easily beat yourself up about how you've been emasculated by this idiot and start to feel down about it, but there is no winning in this situation regardless of how you tackle it.
Think of it this way, if you were 6'6", 18st with a mean right hook, and a Neanderthal type like this neighbour, you might well now be worrying about going to prison.
As I said, there is absolutely no winning when you come up against such morons. So just remember that you're a decent human being, while he's not, and don't get too stressed by it.
These sort of knuckle-draggers aren't reasonable people so, despite the rights and wrongs, he will not believe he's in the wrong no matter what.
I would just move on, avoid this person, and try to forget about it. You could easily beat yourself up about how you've been emasculated by this idiot and start to feel down about it, but there is no winning in this situation regardless of how you tackle it.
Think of it this way, if you were 6'6", 18st with a mean right hook, and a Neanderthal type like this neighbour, you might well now be worrying about going to prison.
As I said, there is absolutely no winning when you come up against such morons. So just remember that you're a decent human being, while he's not, and don't get too stressed by it.
Edited by PorkInsider on Monday 20th July 12:51
PorkInsider said:
There's no winning for you here, OP.
These sort of knuckle-draggers aren't reasonable people so, despite the rights and wrongs, he will not believe he's in the wrong no matter what.
I would just move on, avoid this person, and try to forget about it. You could easily beat yourself up about how you've been emasculated by this idiot and start to feel down about it, but there is no winning in this situation regardless of how you tackle it.
Think of it this way, if you were 6'6", 18st with a mean right hook, and a Neanderthal type like this neighbour, you might well now be worrying about going to prison.
As I said, there is absolutely no winning when you come up against such morons. So just remember that you're a decent human being, while he's not, and don't get too stressed by it.
It's not really emasculation, it's just purely anti-social. I grew up in a place where neighbours were like friends-by-geography, but everyone round this way seems to be self-serving and despicable. They are miserable looking and are probably projecting, but I don't even understand why the other neighbours are happy to stand and watch them being like that to people around them. These sort of knuckle-draggers aren't reasonable people so, despite the rights and wrongs, he will not believe he's in the wrong no matter what.
I would just move on, avoid this person, and try to forget about it. You could easily beat yourself up about how you've been emasculated by this idiot and start to feel down about it, but there is no winning in this situation regardless of how you tackle it.
Think of it this way, if you were 6'6", 18st with a mean right hook, and a Neanderthal type like this neighbour, you might well now be worrying about going to prison.
As I said, there is absolutely no winning when you come up against such morons. So just remember that you're a decent human being, while he's not, and don't get too stressed by it.
Edited by PorkInsider on Monday 20th July 12:51
The other week I gave first aid and cleaned up an old lady who had fallen in the road in our street in front of some parked cars. One of the neighbours drove round her to get his car out. Her next of kin turned up to collect her after I'd managed to phone one, who was actually quite a close neighbour, and they didn't (and haven't since) so much as said thanks. It's honestly like the twilight zone here.
My general problem is that I am something of an empath and I work completely on logic/reason, so over time I've slowly been destroyed by interactions with these types of people. I'm probably better off just selling and moving to somewhere where people aren't so horrible.
Assuming that it is truly a visitor space, the guy is working on the assumption you don't realise. Combine it with the knowledge, that 99% of people will walk away when confronted and he never has to actually prove/do anything, he thinks he has a winning formula.
Every estate with visitor spaces probably has a weirdo just like it, usually with a work van or more cars than their own allocation.
I would get a copy of the deeds, mark the spaces and post them through his door, the guy is literally impotent in his threats as the law is on your side.
If he does it again, tell him to jog on.
Every estate with visitor spaces probably has a weirdo just like it, usually with a work van or more cars than their own allocation.
I would get a copy of the deeds, mark the spaces and post them through his door, the guy is literally impotent in his threats as the law is on your side.
If he does it again, tell him to jog on.
cj2013 said:
My general problem is that I am something of an empath and I work completely on logic/reason, so over time I've slowly been destroyed by interactions with these types of people. I'm probably better off just selling and moving to somewhere where people aren't so horrible.
That's my point: you're judging them by your standards and they don't live that way so it's bound to get you down if you let it - you are never going to change the people. They're t
ts and you're not.I would definitely move if you can.
Moving wont solve the problem. There are morons everywhere so you will just end up meeting another one sooner or later and have the same issue.
I don't mind a bit of confrontation when I know I'm right legally so I would probably have countered his verbal abuse with sarcasm and wit (deliberately minus swear words or direct insult so it cannot be construed as verbal assault), then when he reacts violently defend myself with "reasonable force" to make him look weak. Making him look weak will really bash his ego - as would the soon to follow assault charges.
A lot of people might completely disagree for an easy life or "what if he has a knife", or "what if he burns your car/rapes your young daughter, beheads your wife" etc etc but if you can handle yourself and don't mind standing up for principles even if it makes things harder, so be it.
I don't mind a bit of confrontation when I know I'm right legally so I would probably have countered his verbal abuse with sarcasm and wit (deliberately minus swear words or direct insult so it cannot be construed as verbal assault), then when he reacts violently defend myself with "reasonable force" to make him look weak. Making him look weak will really bash his ego - as would the soon to follow assault charges.
A lot of people might completely disagree for an easy life or "what if he has a knife", or "what if he burns your car/rapes your young daughter, beheads your wife" etc etc but if you can handle yourself and don't mind standing up for principles even if it makes things harder, so be it.
Psycho Warren said:
Moving wont solve the problem. There are morons everywhere so you will just end up meeting another one sooner or later and have the same issue.
I don't mind a bit of confrontation when I know I'm right legally so I would probably have countered his verbal abuse with sarcasm and wit (deliberately minus swear words or direct insult so it cannot be construed as verbal assault), then when he reacts violently defend myself with "reasonable force" to make him look weak. Making him look weak will really bash his ego - as would the soon to follow assault charges.
A lot of people might completely disagree for an easy life or "what if he has a knife", or "what if he burns your car/rapes your young daughter, beheads your wife" etc etc but if you can handle yourself and don't mind standing up for principles even if it makes things harder, so be it.
The problem is, for one bit, there were two of them, and as there is a clique I would imagine (based on the evidence) it would easily be twisted against me. I don't mind a bit of confrontation when I know I'm right legally so I would probably have countered his verbal abuse with sarcasm and wit (deliberately minus swear words or direct insult so it cannot be construed as verbal assault), then when he reacts violently defend myself with "reasonable force" to make him look weak. Making him look weak will really bash his ego - as would the soon to follow assault charges.
A lot of people might completely disagree for an easy life or "what if he has a knife", or "what if he burns your car/rapes your young daughter, beheads your wife" etc etc but if you can handle yourself and don't mind standing up for principles even if it makes things harder, so be it.
There are other areas of the country where the concentrate of these people is considerably weakened, and we had planned on moving from this end, so it's probably just a sign.
Thanks for entertaining my catharsis and not suggesting frozen sausages or trolling. The whole thing has just kicked off a bit of a depressive episode that I'm not able to quite shake off as easily as usual.
The answer on this is check with the land registry/council, but as you say 99% chance this is not his and hes just assuming control of it through intimidation.
Is it worth getting into an argument over?
If it's a new build then it might be worth asking the developer or finding a neighbor who bought new and might have a set of site plans. I have an overview of the site i live on and like yours, everybody has at least a single car drive and garage but it has a bunch of unmarked spaces. According to plans these are allocated to the affordable housing, but do not explicitly belong to them. I don't know what their deeds say about ownership though. It's possible the yours is similar.
Truth is for us, none of the families in the affordable housing have cars so they are used as visitors spaces.
Is it worth getting into an argument over?
If it's a new build then it might be worth asking the developer or finding a neighbor who bought new and might have a set of site plans. I have an overview of the site i live on and like yours, everybody has at least a single car drive and garage but it has a bunch of unmarked spaces. According to plans these are allocated to the affordable housing, but do not explicitly belong to them. I don't know what their deeds say about ownership though. It's possible the yours is similar.
Truth is for us, none of the families in the affordable housing have cars so they are used as visitors spaces.
andburg said:
The answer on this is check with the land registry/council, but as you say 99% chance this is not his and hes just assuming control of it through intimidation.
Is it worth getting into an argument over?
If it's a new build then it might be worth asking the developer or finding a neighbor who bought new and might have a set of site plans. I have an overview of the site i live on and like yours, everybody has at least a single car drive and garage but it has a bunch of unmarked spaces. According to plans these are allocated to the affordable housing, but do not explicitly belong to them. I don't know what their deeds say about ownership though. It's possible the yours is similar.
Truth is for us, none of the families in the affordable housing have cars so they are used as visitors spaces.
I know it doesn't belong to them - I'm both quite organised and have such information to hand, but the SIL is a conveyancer and has done 'current' checks to confirm.Is it worth getting into an argument over?
If it's a new build then it might be worth asking the developer or finding a neighbor who bought new and might have a set of site plans. I have an overview of the site i live on and like yours, everybody has at least a single car drive and garage but it has a bunch of unmarked spaces. According to plans these are allocated to the affordable housing, but do not explicitly belong to them. I don't know what their deeds say about ownership though. It's possible the yours is similar.
Truth is for us, none of the families in the affordable housing have cars so they are used as visitors spaces.
The end result is they are psycho anti-social sad cases, but I find it frustrating that people are allow to do such things and make false claims to land.
bigandclever said:
Did you move the car after the rant?
Of course, in a normal conversation it would have gone something like this:Mr & Mrs X: "Hi, I've noticed you've parked where we park. Just so you know, it's not an unassigned space - it belongs to us"
Me: "Sorry, I did ask about and was told otherwise - I'll move it now"
Mr & Mrs X: "OK thanks"
Instead, it went straight to one-way ranting and raging, abuse, swearing, threats from both of them while I tried to interject normal/sensible neighbourly things. The kind of interaction you'd expect to have if someone caught you in bed with their daughter. Or their pet dog.
As I say, I'm sure somewhere in the back of my mind I was warned about this, but when I relayed that to one of the neighbours prior to all this and she said "No, it's fine to park there - they don't own it - it's a freebie".
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