Ex being a Pain
Discussion
Quick question for anyone that's been thought this.
I have a 6 year old who I have had every weekend since birth, her mother isn't the most maternal and lives in a cul de sac where she is happy for my child to go out and play with all the other kids as soon as she's awake. she's always been happy for me to have my daughter as she likes to party at weekends like shes 21.
One thing I've always had to deal with is phone calls for £30 here, £40 there, usually on a Friday evening with some sob story that my child lost her shoes, or some other outlandish reason why she needs 40 quid. If I ever refuse I then get my daughter is ill routine and can't come but by the next week she can't wait to get rid of her as she wants to go partying again.
Her favourite trick is to get all the 6 year olds from the road around her house 5 minutes before I'm due to get my daughter which of course greatly upsets my daughter when I turn up to tear her away from her impromptu house party.
This week she has told me and going forward that if my 6 year old does not want to come she won't force her and so this weekend I was told I'm sorry she won't be coming to your house because she doesn't want to and that is now the new normal I need to accept.
Is the only way solicitors now, would just keeping quite and hoping it blows over work against me if it went to court?
I have a 6 year old who I have had every weekend since birth, her mother isn't the most maternal and lives in a cul de sac where she is happy for my child to go out and play with all the other kids as soon as she's awake. she's always been happy for me to have my daughter as she likes to party at weekends like shes 21.
One thing I've always had to deal with is phone calls for £30 here, £40 there, usually on a Friday evening with some sob story that my child lost her shoes, or some other outlandish reason why she needs 40 quid. If I ever refuse I then get my daughter is ill routine and can't come but by the next week she can't wait to get rid of her as she wants to go partying again.
Her favourite trick is to get all the 6 year olds from the road around her house 5 minutes before I'm due to get my daughter which of course greatly upsets my daughter when I turn up to tear her away from her impromptu house party.
This week she has told me and going forward that if my 6 year old does not want to come she won't force her and so this weekend I was told I'm sorry she won't be coming to your house because she doesn't want to and that is now the new normal I need to accept.
Is the only way solicitors now, would just keeping quite and hoping it blows over work against me if it went to court?
Sorry to hear this, women can be very spiteful individuals and using the children as a weapon against the father is the lowest of the low in my opinion
If and when you get your daughter next, ask her in a neutral relaxed environment if what she would like to do, she’s only 6 but she does have her own mind.
Does she have her own friends at your place?
Your ex sounds somewhat unreasonable by what you have written, however it might be worth explaining, or at least trying to that it’s your daughter that’s suffering most with her new found routine.
My ex used to be like this when we first broke up, I just used to agree with whatever she said, I’d ask for my son as much as I could have him and it eventually worked itself out for the best for all involved
Going down the solicitor route is a last resort in my opinion. Expensive and nasty
If and when you get your daughter next, ask her in a neutral relaxed environment if what she would like to do, she’s only 6 but she does have her own mind.
Does she have her own friends at your place?
Your ex sounds somewhat unreasonable by what you have written, however it might be worth explaining, or at least trying to that it’s your daughter that’s suffering most with her new found routine.
My ex used to be like this when we first broke up, I just used to agree with whatever she said, I’d ask for my son as much as I could have him and it eventually worked itself out for the best for all involved
Going down the solicitor route is a last resort in my opinion. Expensive and nasty
Thanks, yes I went through solicitors with my sons mother, spent a fortune and still got no where so I'm reluctant to do it again.
I live in the middle of nowhere in a village full of old people, I've filled my house with toys and take her out to the petting farms or parks and pretty much do what she wants, she is absolutely fine 30 seconds after I have picked her up. I've sat her down and asked her why she didn't want to come and she always says because I was playing with my friends.
I asked her mother very reasonably to stop having a house full for an hour before I pick her up which was met with it was her house.
maybe I should have a not bothered facade.
I live in the middle of nowhere in a village full of old people, I've filled my house with toys and take her out to the petting farms or parks and pretty much do what she wants, she is absolutely fine 30 seconds after I have picked her up. I've sat her down and asked her why she didn't want to come and she always says because I was playing with my friends.
I asked her mother very reasonably to stop having a house full for an hour before I pick her up which was met with it was her house.
maybe I should have a not bothered facade.
I'm sorry to hear about your problems and you have my sympathies.
I've been there, done that over the last decade and it is incredibly frustrating and damaging to you and your daughter.
Social Services can be very useful - if you get a good social worker.
I've known some excellent social workers over the last few years but I do realise they're not all so objective.
From my own experiences - keep the peace wherever you can but don't be taken for a ride.
Be polite and reasonable, particularly when you feel like screaming.
Be pleasant to any agency involved no matter what their demeanor.
The whole system has been grossly unfair and penalises dad's - but it is changing.
Find a solicitor with a free 30 minute consultation. Outline the problems, see what legal avenues are open to you and keep a log of everything you do.
I wish you all the best.
I've been there, done that over the last decade and it is incredibly frustrating and damaging to you and your daughter.
Social Services can be very useful - if you get a good social worker.
I've known some excellent social workers over the last few years but I do realise they're not all so objective.
From my own experiences - keep the peace wherever you can but don't be taken for a ride.
Be polite and reasonable, particularly when you feel like screaming.
Be pleasant to any agency involved no matter what their demeanor.
The whole system has been grossly unfair and penalises dad's - but it is changing.
Find a solicitor with a free 30 minute consultation. Outline the problems, see what legal avenues are open to you and keep a log of everything you do.
I wish you all the best.
Could you perhaps speak to the neighbours to explain the situation?
It's probably likely that your ex will try to claim you are bad-mouthing her and twisting the neighbours against her...
but it could be an opportunity to meet them and show you are normal.
Perhaps the neighbours' kids could all come to your place for a party one weekend? Or you could have play dates for one of them at a time?
I guess the other option is to be flexible and say you're happy she has friends and don't mind waiting outside until she's finished, but then that will depend on whether the neighbours' kids are able to stay round till 9pm or the parent's insist on early return for tea.
Do you have a formal arrangement through the courts?
It's probably likely that your ex will try to claim you are bad-mouthing her and twisting the neighbours against her...
but it could be an opportunity to meet them and show you are normal.Perhaps the neighbours' kids could all come to your place for a party one weekend? Or you could have play dates for one of them at a time?
I guess the other option is to be flexible and say you're happy she has friends and don't mind waiting outside until she's finished, but then that will depend on whether the neighbours' kids are able to stay round till 9pm or the parent's insist on early return for tea.
Do you have a formal arrangement through the courts?
Would it work to just turn up and when presented with the situation 'OK, I wouldn't want to force my daughter to do something she doesn't want. Love you sweetie. Hope that you and mummy have a great weekend.'
If daughter is being used as you say then a couple of weekends of you letting daughter stay and play with her friends will ruin mums plans for the weekend and get a change of attitude.
If daughter is being used as you say then a couple of weekends of you letting daughter stay and play with her friends will ruin mums plans for the weekend and get a change of attitude.
Keep a diary, record all instances of unreasonable behaviour & any actions (taken by her & you
Not sure if social services / court are involved but if so discuss with your representative this behaviour … even if you have to ask that currently your just reporting this behaviour and not require any action from them, as you want to see where it's going,
Good luck
Not sure if social services / court are involved but if so discuss with your representative this behaviour … even if you have to ask that currently your just reporting this behaviour and not require any action from them, as you want to see where it's going,
Good luck
Sheets Tabuer said:
Thanks, yes I went through solicitors with my sons mother, spent a fortune and still got no where so I'm reluctant to do it again.
I live in the middle of nowhere in a village full of old people, I've filled my house with toys and take her out to the petting farms or parks and pretty much do what she wants, she is absolutely fine 30 seconds after I have picked her up. I've sat her down and asked her why she didn't want to come and she always says because I was playing with my friends.
I asked her mother very reasonably to stop having a house full for an hour before I pick her up which was met with it was her house.
maybe I should have a not bothered facade.
Classic ex tactic. Been there with my ex. She would purposely organise a whole bunch of activities to occur in my time. Between 12 and 15 round trips to fulfil those activities every weekend. So I ended up being the bad man when I put my foot down.I live in the middle of nowhere in a village full of old people, I've filled my house with toys and take her out to the petting farms or parks and pretty much do what she wants, she is absolutely fine 30 seconds after I have picked her up. I've sat her down and asked her why she didn't want to come and she always says because I was playing with my friends.
I asked her mother very reasonably to stop having a house full for an hour before I pick her up which was met with it was her house.
maybe I should have a not bothered facade.
I would strongly suggest not involving a solicitor in this, you’ll still be the bad man as your ex will continue to use this tactic and you’ll be a much poorer bad man. From what I read above, your ex will eventually want to party again and realise she needs you to do your role which translates into you having time with your child.
T6 vanman said:
Keep a diary, record all instances of unreasonable behaviour & any actions (taken by her & you
Not sure if social services / court are involved but if so discuss with your representative this behaviour … even if you have to ask that currently your just reporting this behaviour and not require any action from them, as you want to see where it's going,
Good luck
IANAL but IMO this is excellent advice.Not sure if social services / court are involved but if so discuss with your representative this behaviour … even if you have to ask that currently your just reporting this behaviour and not require any action from them, as you want to see where it's going,
Good luck
Having a time- and date-stamped email trail to/from the other party has been immensely useful when helping my friend with his case, so an email each time saying something like 'It is unfortunate that a social gathering was arranged for the time I was due to pick X up but I hope she has a lovely time with her friends this evening. Please can we arrange a skype/zoom call this weekend in lieu of the missed face-to-face contact? I would also be happy to collect her today/tomorrow.'
I’ve been through this and indeed it’s never ending.
I don’t even know if my ex realises she’s doing it half the time.
The classic is when either of my daughters has been with me for what seems like 5 minutes being faced with “mum’s going shopping and texted to ask if I want to come” or “mum said she bought me [indulgence of the day] and it’s waiting for me when I go back” followed by a car turning up 5 minutes later and said kid leaving.
Generally they think they are missing out on something and end up moving backwards and forwards for some whimsical indulgence.
It’s deplorable that adults play these manipulative games but it seems all too common.
It’s even harder when one parent is working all the hours of the week to keep their head above the water and the other is poncing around fully subsidised with all the time in the world so I take the view that I’m not going to even try and compete in these stakes, I just smile and make the kids know I’m glad to see them whenever they do choose to come over.
6 is a younger more impressionable age and I would be more concerned whereas my own are at that age now where they’ll more or less decide for themselves.
Likewise the ex stresses how it’s the kids’ choice where they spend their time but this all changes when she has a holiday booked....
One thing you could try after being messed around is to just tell your ex the next time she asks for last minute babysitting that you have your own plans for the weekend and that she needs to work with you on a schedule and stick to it if she wants your co-operation, but the danger of course is that suddenly Dad is demonised as the bad guy who doesn’t want his own daughter.
If it gets ridiculous you could resort to legals, and in fact I might consider doing this sooner if you have a proven track record of a consistent shared care schedule which she is now suddenly trying to change, before the “new normal” routine becomes established. Courts like sticking to what already works best for a child.
I wouldn’t get into the silly tit for tat solicitor exchanges, I’d just go straight in with an application for an arrangements order citing the disruption to your child’s routine and the need to formalise shared care arrangements to protect her interests. The thump of those papers hitting the mat and imminent costs might just make her sit up straight and listen.
I don’t even know if my ex realises she’s doing it half the time.
The classic is when either of my daughters has been with me for what seems like 5 minutes being faced with “mum’s going shopping and texted to ask if I want to come” or “mum said she bought me [indulgence of the day] and it’s waiting for me when I go back” followed by a car turning up 5 minutes later and said kid leaving.
Generally they think they are missing out on something and end up moving backwards and forwards for some whimsical indulgence.
It’s deplorable that adults play these manipulative games but it seems all too common.
It’s even harder when one parent is working all the hours of the week to keep their head above the water and the other is poncing around fully subsidised with all the time in the world so I take the view that I’m not going to even try and compete in these stakes, I just smile and make the kids know I’m glad to see them whenever they do choose to come over.
6 is a younger more impressionable age and I would be more concerned whereas my own are at that age now where they’ll more or less decide for themselves.
Likewise the ex stresses how it’s the kids’ choice where they spend their time but this all changes when she has a holiday booked....
One thing you could try after being messed around is to just tell your ex the next time she asks for last minute babysitting that you have your own plans for the weekend and that she needs to work with you on a schedule and stick to it if she wants your co-operation, but the danger of course is that suddenly Dad is demonised as the bad guy who doesn’t want his own daughter.
If it gets ridiculous you could resort to legals, and in fact I might consider doing this sooner if you have a proven track record of a consistent shared care schedule which she is now suddenly trying to change, before the “new normal” routine becomes established. Courts like sticking to what already works best for a child.
I wouldn’t get into the silly tit for tat solicitor exchanges, I’d just go straight in with an application for an arrangements order citing the disruption to your child’s routine and the need to formalise shared care arrangements to protect her interests. The thump of those papers hitting the mat and imminent costs might just make her sit up straight and listen.
OP, are you able to look after your daughter full time, if it comes to it?
I’m in the situation that I look after our daughter 4 days a week but many can’t.
It started off 2 years ago with wife texting me at work saying I don’t live at home anymore and we’ve gone.
As you can imagine, I took it quite badly. Once I’d calmed down, i looked into things. There are a couple of orders you can apply for that are at no cost. Wife found herself summoned to Court by WhatsApp. She refused to give me an address etc.
Shot across the bows I guess.
As a result, we probably look after our daughter better than when we were together.
And we also have a business together, that’s managed to survive and flourish.
Find a way, without involving lawyers.
What you have to remember is that Lawyers are there to fight for YOU. There’s little compassion. They’re there for YOU. A good one will take no prisoners. Bring absolutely every conversation, every picture, every thought up.
Having said that, as adults, we both realised that ultimately there would only be 1 person who suffered. Our daughter.
And that’s a subtle oblique OP. Stop thinking about ‘MY’ daughter.
She’s both of yours.
Some battles will always be lost. The War and Peace is making sure your daughter won’t become collateral damage for your(both of your) pride.
I’m in the situation that I look after our daughter 4 days a week but many can’t.
It started off 2 years ago with wife texting me at work saying I don’t live at home anymore and we’ve gone.
As you can imagine, I took it quite badly. Once I’d calmed down, i looked into things. There are a couple of orders you can apply for that are at no cost. Wife found herself summoned to Court by WhatsApp. She refused to give me an address etc.
Shot across the bows I guess.
As a result, we probably look after our daughter better than when we were together.
And we also have a business together, that’s managed to survive and flourish.
Find a way, without involving lawyers.
What you have to remember is that Lawyers are there to fight for YOU. There’s little compassion. They’re there for YOU. A good one will take no prisoners. Bring absolutely every conversation, every picture, every thought up.
Having said that, as adults, we both realised that ultimately there would only be 1 person who suffered. Our daughter.
And that’s a subtle oblique OP. Stop thinking about ‘MY’ daughter.
She’s both of yours.
Some battles will always be lost. The War and Peace is making sure your daughter won’t become collateral damage for your(both of your) pride.
I feel for you. She is manipulating the situation. And as the child is only 6 it's totally unfair.
Only go legal as a very last resort in my view.
Do you have a parental custody plan / agreement?
We penned this out 3 years ago when I called time on the relationship. ... the form is on the Gov website. Search "parent custody plan". We did this at the outset. For you your trouble may be your ex won't voluntarily sign this now.
Myself and my ex (never married) agreed terms on this plan. I relented to her having one day extra during a working week. I did this to make things easier. But this agreement isn't legal.... you then must take to a family court - you can do this without any representation - and as we both agreed it was straight forward.
I feel it was pragmatic to 'let her win' by having an extra day. (About 54% her 46% me over a full year - school holidays are 50/50). But it works well for our 2 sons.
For me to argue in court, with a solicitor would not be worth the £££££ to gain 1 day per week. (I believe my ex realises a court argument ain't worth it at the end of the day also) . I have friends who have spent £97,000 on fees to still lose out.
Don't get me wrong: we still disagree on some things regarding our sons and I do miss the time I have given up.... but overall I feel solicitor's r*ping money won't benefit our sons future.
Having said that...if our terms were to change (by her) I would deffo apply to the Family Courts / solicitors for the plan to be levelled 50/50 ..... this would incur costs.
Only go legal as a very last resort in my view.
Do you have a parental custody plan / agreement?
We penned this out 3 years ago when I called time on the relationship. ... the form is on the Gov website. Search "parent custody plan". We did this at the outset. For you your trouble may be your ex won't voluntarily sign this now.
Myself and my ex (never married) agreed terms on this plan. I relented to her having one day extra during a working week. I did this to make things easier. But this agreement isn't legal.... you then must take to a family court - you can do this without any representation - and as we both agreed it was straight forward.
I feel it was pragmatic to 'let her win' by having an extra day. (About 54% her 46% me over a full year - school holidays are 50/50). But it works well for our 2 sons.
For me to argue in court, with a solicitor would not be worth the £££££ to gain 1 day per week. (I believe my ex realises a court argument ain't worth it at the end of the day also) . I have friends who have spent £97,000 on fees to still lose out.
Don't get me wrong: we still disagree on some things regarding our sons and I do miss the time I have given up.... but overall I feel solicitor's r*ping money won't benefit our sons future.
Having said that...if our terms were to change (by her) I would deffo apply to the Family Courts / solicitors for the plan to be levelled 50/50 ..... this would incur costs.
M12MTR said:
I feel for you. She is manipulating the situation. And as the child is only 6 it's totally unfair.
Only go legal as a very last resort in my view.
Do you have a parental custody plan / agreement?
We penned this out 3 years ago when I called time on the relationship. ... the form is on the Gov website. Search "parent custody plan". We did this at the outset. For you your trouble may be your ex won't voluntarily sign this now.
Myself and my ex (never married) agreed terms on this plan. I relented to her having one day extra during a working week. I did this to make things easier. But this agreement isn't legal.... you then must take to a family court - you can do this without any representation - and as we both agreed it was straight forward.
I feel it was pragmatic to 'let her win' by having an extra day. (About 54% her 46% me over a full year - school holidays are 50/50). But it works well for our 2 sons.
For me to argue in court, with a solicitor would not be worth the £££££ to gain 1 day per week. (I believe my ex realises a court argument ain't worth it at the end of the day also) . I have friends who have spent £97,000 on fees to still lose out.
Don't get me wrong: we still disagree on some things regarding our sons and I do miss the time I have given up.... but overall I feel solicitor's r*ping money won't benefit our sons future.
Having said that...if our terms were to change (by her) I would deffo apply to the Family Courts / solicitors for the plan to be levelled 50/50 ..... this would incur costs.
Only go legal as a very last resort in my view.
Do you have a parental custody plan / agreement?
We penned this out 3 years ago when I called time on the relationship. ... the form is on the Gov website. Search "parent custody plan". We did this at the outset. For you your trouble may be your ex won't voluntarily sign this now.
Myself and my ex (never married) agreed terms on this plan. I relented to her having one day extra during a working week. I did this to make things easier. But this agreement isn't legal.... you then must take to a family court - you can do this without any representation - and as we both agreed it was straight forward.
I feel it was pragmatic to 'let her win' by having an extra day. (About 54% her 46% me over a full year - school holidays are 50/50). But it works well for our 2 sons.
For me to argue in court, with a solicitor would not be worth the £££££ to gain 1 day per week. (I believe my ex realises a court argument ain't worth it at the end of the day also) . I have friends who have spent £97,000 on fees to still lose out.
Don't get me wrong: we still disagree on some things regarding our sons and I do miss the time I have given up.... but overall I feel solicitor's r*ping money won't benefit our sons future.
Having said that...if our terms were to change (by her) I would deffo apply to the Family Courts / solicitors for the plan to be levelled 50/50 ..... this would incur costs.
That is insane.
RSTurboPaul said:
That is insane.
In my limited experience, it seems rare that the courts do anything to enforce any judgements in the area, so the resident parent can get away with it. A friend of mine had the same judgement made 3 times in the family courts, all stating he was to have his kids 3 nights a week. Still hasn't happened after 3 court visits, and nothing has happened to the mother despite her ignoring all the previous court orders.
I got lucky. My two boys live full time with me, but that only happened because the ex went a bit nuts a year after we split and ended up sectioned.
Thanks for all the replies, some food for thought.
My ex is a royal pain in the arse, on top of child support I buy her clothes and shoes whenever she needs them and always send them home, my daughter never comes back in anything nice, just the first thing off the pile which is often dirty or for a 3 year old. I'm continually having to text her mother to ask for weather appropriate clothes for my daughter when I pick her up, not a jumper when it's 30c or a vest when its -10 and if it can be for a 6 year old and not a 3-4 or even 4-5 that would be great. Oh and if she manages to iron any of that it will be a bonus. I could go on but you get the picture.
Of course saying that means punishment, one weekend without my daughter.
I shall start keeping a diary of everything, many thanks all I'll continue to smile through my teeth for now.
My ex is a royal pain in the arse, on top of child support I buy her clothes and shoes whenever she needs them and always send them home, my daughter never comes back in anything nice, just the first thing off the pile which is often dirty or for a 3 year old. I'm continually having to text her mother to ask for weather appropriate clothes for my daughter when I pick her up, not a jumper when it's 30c or a vest when its -10 and if it can be for a 6 year old and not a 3-4 or even 4-5 that would be great. Oh and if she manages to iron any of that it will be a bonus. I could go on but you get the picture.
Of course saying that means punishment, one weekend without my daughter.
I shall start keeping a diary of everything, many thanks all I'll continue to smile through my teeth for now.
Sheets Tabuer said:
Thanks for all the replies, some food for thought.
My ex is a royal pain in the arse, on top of child support I buy her clothes and shoes whenever she needs them and always send them home, my daughter never comes back in anything nice, just the first thing off the pile which is often dirty or for a 3 year old. I'm continually having to text her mother to ask for weather appropriate clothes for my daughter when I pick her up, not a jumper when it's 30c or a vest when its -10 and if it can be for a 6 year old and not a 3-4 or even 4-5 that would be great. Oh and if she manages to iron any of that it will be a bonus. I could go on but you get the picture.
Of course saying that means punishment, one weekend without my daughter.
I shall start keeping a diary of everything, many thanks all I'll continue to smile through my teeth for now.
Definitely log it and keep receipts etc. - all builds towards an evidence base that is useful for showing her failures.My ex is a royal pain in the arse, on top of child support I buy her clothes and shoes whenever she needs them and always send them home, my daughter never comes back in anything nice, just the first thing off the pile which is often dirty or for a 3 year old. I'm continually having to text her mother to ask for weather appropriate clothes for my daughter when I pick her up, not a jumper when it's 30c or a vest when its -10 and if it can be for a 6 year old and not a 3-4 or even 4-5 that would be great. Oh and if she manages to iron any of that it will be a bonus. I could go on but you get the picture.
Of course saying that means punishment, one weekend without my daughter.
I shall start keeping a diary of everything, many thanks all I'll continue to smile through my teeth for now.
I would say email rather than text, though - texts are harder to get hold of from the telecom companies, due to GDPR and all that I believe (because they don't / can't release another party's texts to you, I think?)
Sheets Tabuer said:
Thanks for all the replies, some food for thought.
My ex is a royal pain in the arse, on top of child support I buy her clothes and shoes whenever she needs them and always send them home, my daughter never comes back in anything nice, just the first thing off the pile which is often dirty or for a 3 year old. I'm continually having to text her mother to ask for weather appropriate clothes for my daughter when I pick her up, not a jumper when it's 30c or a vest when its -10 and if it can be for a 6 year old and not a 3-4 or even 4-5 that would be great. Oh and if she manages to iron any of that it will be a bonus. I could go on but you get the picture.
Of course saying that means punishment, one weekend without my daughter.
I shall start keeping a diary of everything, many thanks all I'll continue to smile through my teeth for now.
Let it go. These things don’t matter. As long as you have the appropriate clothes etc to change into, all good.My ex is a royal pain in the arse, on top of child support I buy her clothes and shoes whenever she needs them and always send them home, my daughter never comes back in anything nice, just the first thing off the pile which is often dirty or for a 3 year old. I'm continually having to text her mother to ask for weather appropriate clothes for my daughter when I pick her up, not a jumper when it's 30c or a vest when its -10 and if it can be for a 6 year old and not a 3-4 or even 4-5 that would be great. Oh and if she manages to iron any of that it will be a bonus. I could go on but you get the picture.
Of course saying that means punishment, one weekend without my daughter.
I shall start keeping a diary of everything, many thanks all I'll continue to smile through my teeth for now.
It’s really not worth it, to become bitter about these things.
Go and buy a few things, have a set of clothes, shoes, boots etc. Quick check, no offence intended but it’s also YOUR responsibility to have these things.
I’ll give you an example, I’m constantly pissed off that our daughter has itchy bum. She has itchy bum because it seems impossible that her Mum can’t teach her to wipe front to back.
But, you know what? Rather than being drama, I show our daughter how to do it. I’m her Father. It’s my responsibility.
I always apologies to wife if our daughter is dropped off grubby. Sometimes, that’s what happens. We’ve been in the garden looking at bees, digging for worms etc. s
te happens. All you have to do is pop the clothes in the wash. It’s no drama.I’d make a s
t Family Lawyer!Seems that you have a wonderful relationship with your child?
That’s what’s most important.
Many years ago, I think it was the poster JasandJules, said...
All children need are...
Warm hugs
Clean bum
Food
Parents that Love them
Don’t let your personal pride get in the way.
Edited by TVR1 on Tuesday 1st September 00:31
Edited by TVR1 on Tuesday 1st September 00:32
Its a control game, as if she is a selfish cow who likes to partying you having your daughter is in fact ideal for her, she has her all week so it makes no sense to play this game other than its a control thing.
Sadly some women are like this!
Are you on the birth certificate, do you pay maintenance?
You will have to go to mediation first which isn't big money £120 per session, you need to do a MIAM Mediation Info Assessment Meeting. The will explain the process. If the mother ignores then you can try a parental agreement or file for court another £250 not including if a solicitor does it.
This will sort some women out and they will realise at court, others will pretend the rules don't apply to them, that gets expensive.
No court will say a 6 year old can decide its 13 up when I am told they listen to the child's feelings.
Sadly some women are like this!
Are you on the birth certificate, do you pay maintenance?
You will have to go to mediation first which isn't big money £120 per session, you need to do a MIAM Mediation Info Assessment Meeting. The will explain the process. If the mother ignores then you can try a parental agreement or file for court another £250 not including if a solicitor does it.
This will sort some women out and they will realise at court, others will pretend the rules don't apply to them, that gets expensive.
No court will say a 6 year old can decide its 13 up when I am told they listen to the child's feelings.
Edited by surveyor_101 on Tuesday 1st September 08:32
I see that the sour PH misogynists are out in force, as is usual on these threads. Some people behave badly. Some of them are women. Some are men. The idea that women are uniquely spiteful etc is mere misogyny.
TVR 1's long post above is very sensible and sane and balanced. All that matters is the welfare and happiness of the child. Winning or losing the adult battles is of no importance, and the existence of those battles may harm the child. The parent who focuses on that should develop a loving relationship with the child.
TVR 1, you would make an excellent family lawyer, of the right kind. Sadly, too few family lawyers are of the right kind. Family law suffers partly because no law student ever comes top in law school and says "Hey, I think that I'll specialise in family law". Most family lawyers are family lawyers because their attempt to become some other type of lawyer failed. There are exceptions to this. See also: cosmetic surgeons
TVR 1's long post above is very sensible and sane and balanced. All that matters is the welfare and happiness of the child. Winning or losing the adult battles is of no importance, and the existence of those battles may harm the child. The parent who focuses on that should develop a loving relationship with the child.
TVR 1, you would make an excellent family lawyer, of the right kind. Sadly, too few family lawyers are of the right kind. Family law suffers partly because no law student ever comes top in law school and says "Hey, I think that I'll specialise in family law". Most family lawyers are family lawyers because their attempt to become some other type of lawyer failed. There are exceptions to this. See also: cosmetic surgeons
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