School, Social Media Bullying & the Police
Discussion
Genuinely asking for a friend.
His 15 year old daughter has essentially a break down in school. The school is well-to-do and has a good reputation in the area. Transpires a couple of boys who presented themselves as good friends abused her trust and posted details about her private life & medical condition on social media. amongst what they posted and sent her directly was a threat to rape her.
In the not too distant past one of the two boys used her photo on Tinder to catfish people.
The school had a good talking too from the parents but the school said they can't consider expulsion unless the daughter is forthcoming with a statement of some sort. She (the daughter) has been petrified to do anything for fear of reprisals. The parents contacted the police who came and took the phone for evidence, as the daughter never admitted what was being said about her. It was only when the police looked through the phone that they saw the threats against her.
What can/would the police do that the school won't/can't in the face of a scared teenage girl not wishing to seemingly make things worse for her?
She's changing school so no fear of having to see the bullies again.
His 15 year old daughter has essentially a break down in school. The school is well-to-do and has a good reputation in the area. Transpires a couple of boys who presented themselves as good friends abused her trust and posted details about her private life & medical condition on social media. amongst what they posted and sent her directly was a threat to rape her.
In the not too distant past one of the two boys used her photo on Tinder to catfish people.
The school had a good talking too from the parents but the school said they can't consider expulsion unless the daughter is forthcoming with a statement of some sort. She (the daughter) has been petrified to do anything for fear of reprisals. The parents contacted the police who came and took the phone for evidence, as the daughter never admitted what was being said about her. It was only when the police looked through the phone that they saw the threats against her.
What can/would the police do that the school won't/can't in the face of a scared teenage girl not wishing to seemingly make things worse for her?
She's changing school so no fear of having to see the bullies again.
Edited by anonymous-user on Friday 21st May 14:01
If shes leaving the school then what kind of reprisals can there be for full disclosure of the truth? None unless she sees the boys outside school.
At 15 the boys are old enough to face criminal charges if it meets the threashold for malicious communication or whatever other charges they can bring. Will they do that though? god knows.
Why wont she make a statement to the school if leaving - again the reprisals would be nothing unless there is more stuff outside of school going on that shes not letting on??
The threat to rape makes it sound that there's a bit more of a sinister sexual side to the abuse going on than just simple bullying.
At 15 the boys are old enough to face criminal charges if it meets the threashold for malicious communication or whatever other charges they can bring. Will they do that though? god knows.
Why wont she make a statement to the school if leaving - again the reprisals would be nothing unless there is more stuff outside of school going on that shes not letting on??
The threat to rape makes it sound that there's a bit more of a sinister sexual side to the abuse going on than just simple bullying.
The police will be victim lead. They can’t force her to provide a statement if she doesn’t want to.
If she does want to, there is support out there. Due to her age she’ll be treated as vulnerable by default. Which means she gets extra support.
The police can do the following.
No further action. It will be recorded as a crime (from what you’ve said I’ve picked up on a Malicious communications offence with the threat to rape). But nothing else will happen at this time. They should still gather as much evidence as possible though. Your friends daughter could give a statement in the future.
If she gives a statement the following could happen.
Still have no further action.
Suspects are interviewed. Deny the offence. It may be filed with no further action. It may end up in court. She may have to give evidence. This may not be in the court but special measures could be applied for. Video link in a different room/building. Screen up so she can’t see the suspects etc.
Suspects interviewed and admit the offence. I’ll be honest, I don’t think they’ll end up in court. Your local force will probably have a youth offending team who will set them conditions that if they don’t comply with they’ll end up in court.
Hopefully that helps a bit.
If she does want to, there is support out there. Due to her age she’ll be treated as vulnerable by default. Which means she gets extra support.
The police can do the following.
No further action. It will be recorded as a crime (from what you’ve said I’ve picked up on a Malicious communications offence with the threat to rape). But nothing else will happen at this time. They should still gather as much evidence as possible though. Your friends daughter could give a statement in the future.
If she gives a statement the following could happen.
Still have no further action.
Suspects are interviewed. Deny the offence. It may be filed with no further action. It may end up in court. She may have to give evidence. This may not be in the court but special measures could be applied for. Video link in a different room/building. Screen up so she can’t see the suspects etc.
Suspects interviewed and admit the offence. I’ll be honest, I don’t think they’ll end up in court. Your local force will probably have a youth offending team who will set them conditions that if they don’t comply with they’ll end up in court.
Hopefully that helps a bit.
Is this really the school's problem? If it could be proved the bullies sent all this stuff on school premises, then have plod investigate & the school could probably go down the disciplinary route.Threatening rape etc I would hope that plod would throw the book at them, but if they are under 18, who knows?
I had similar happen several years ago, although not as bad as your friend's case. We discussed it with the head who called in the perps, who were subsequently suspended for a couple of weeks & never bothered anybody again. Plod also 'had words' with them, which in this case, seemed to work.
I had similar happen several years ago, although not as bad as your friend's case. We discussed it with the head who called in the perps, who were subsequently suspended for a couple of weeks & never bothered anybody again. Plod also 'had words' with them, which in this case, seemed to work.
I think the parents are surprised the school are doing nothing: there’s been no talk of expulsion or suspension at the least.
Everybody knows the daughter needs to be forthcoming in order to get some sort of result but she’s too scared.
This is why I wondered if the police - now they have evidence of who said what - would take the lead.
Everybody knows the daughter needs to be forthcoming in order to get some sort of result but she’s too scared.
This is why I wondered if the police - now they have evidence of who said what - would take the lead.
Durzel said:
Wtf is a 15 year old doing on Tinder? Isn't the minimum age 18? Parents a-ok with that bit I guess?
Without her making an official complaint I don't think the Police can do much beyond encouraging her to do so.
Read it again. The boys at the school have used her photos to catfish people into thinking it’s the OPs friends daughter. Without her making an official complaint I don't think the Police can do much beyond encouraging her to do so.
LosingGrip said:
Durzel said:
Wtf is a 15 year old doing on Tinder? Isn't the minimum age 18? Parents a-ok with that bit I guess?
Without her making an official complaint I don't think the Police can do much beyond encouraging her to do so.
Read it again. The boys at the school have used her photos to catfish people into thinking it’s the OPs friends daughter. Without her making an official complaint I don't think the Police can do much beyond encouraging her to do so.
Ins't the school is in the difficult position here, if they discipline the boys without following proper procedure then the boys parents can insist the school takes them back etc. Following proper procedures probably means waiting for the police because this isn't really a school issue unless it happened on school premises, It is the old thing of teachers have no authority over kids outside of the school/school hrs.
It's easy to say the school should do this, should do that but most schools only have very very limited authority over the kids they teach. My friend saw one 8 yr old threaten another with a knife, she held the kid back and wrestled the knife away, she was then told she could be facing disciplinary for physical violence against the kid with the knife.
It's easy to say the school should do this, should do that but most schools only have very very limited authority over the kids they teach. My friend saw one 8 yr old threaten another with a knife, she held the kid back and wrestled the knife away, she was then told she could be facing disciplinary for physical violence against the kid with the knife.
My kids are younger ( 11/14) but the school when issuing guidance on behaviour / web use etc is clear they are giving advise and have no power or wish to be involved if something happens outside of school. They are an education establishment and no more.
I can see some seeing this as harsh but what their pupils do off site is nothing to do with them In reality.
There was a case where a father catfishes a divorced mother on line. Complaint to school , school said what can we do ? All other parents knew what happened and I was amazed they did not change school.
I can see some seeing this as harsh but what their pupils do off site is nothing to do with them In reality.
There was a case where a father catfishes a divorced mother on line. Complaint to school , school said what can we do ? All other parents knew what happened and I was amazed they did not change school.
eldrich said:
It's easy to say the school should do this, should do that but most schools only have very very limited authority over the kids they teach. My friend saw one 8 yr old threaten another with a knife, she held the kid back and wrestled the knife away, she was then told she could be facing disciplinary for physical violence against the kid with the knife.
Whoever said that to your friend didn't have a clue about what they were talking about. Been through similar.
Took us over 6 months to get resolved, but our goal was get our kids removed.
The parents need to have a think about what they want out of this and make it clear to the headmaster, is it refund on fees, do they want justice AKA the antibullying policy ?
Me personally would just walk away rather than risk dragging my kids through anything further.
Whatever they want, the parents need to make it clear to the headmaster that if the school fails to act they will become a huge thorn in the schools backside, including governors, their MP, the LEA and ultimately civil action against the school.
Good advice at:
https://www.bullying.co.uk/bullying-at-school/what...
Took us over 6 months to get resolved, but our goal was get our kids removed.
The parents need to have a think about what they want out of this and make it clear to the headmaster, is it refund on fees, do they want justice AKA the antibullying policy ?
Me personally would just walk away rather than risk dragging my kids through anything further.
Whatever they want, the parents need to make it clear to the headmaster that if the school fails to act they will become a huge thorn in the schools backside, including governors, their MP, the LEA and ultimately civil action against the school.
Good advice at:
https://www.bullying.co.uk/bullying-at-school/what...
Edited by NGRhodes on Saturday 22 May 23:11
NGRhodes said:
Whatever they want, the parents need to make it clear to the headmaster that if the school fails to act they will become a huge thorn in the schools backside, including governors, their MP, the LEA and ultimately civil action against the school.
Schools have very limited powers here. If there is actual illegal behaviour, the inevitable answer has been to pass to the police. If there is *not* illegal behaviour, they will need statements.Meanwhile
Governors - irrelevant, if the school actually even has a GB
MP - irrelevant / won't care / will simply suggest removing the child / go to the police
LEA - irrelevant if an academy, will suggest removing the child if so and/or police
Civil action against school - good luck with that
The option that actually might be useful is OFSTed (Well, they've got to be useful for something, I suppose)
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