Divorce/consent order

[ThePlanner]

Hey all,

I am looking for some advice/opinion on my situation. Overall I think i am largely covered. But I am receiving on going threats from my ex wife.

Background:
2 children under 18 - currently live with ex wife
Divorced in 2013
Consent order approved by Court in 2017 after years of arguing and ultimatums ( I took on all Debts and house was split 50:50 to be sold when kids are 18)

So moving on to now, my kids flew out to see me (I live out of the UK) for Christmas and new year and returned home all happy. but carrying the message daddy is living in a nice place we had a great holiday and done a lot of new things etc. This obviously didn't go down well with the ex-wife and she is now demanding that the consent order (dated 2017) is void as i have a nice comfortable life and she is entitled to more. She has demanded I pay off her mortgage.

To confirm I am paying spousal maintenance even though she has been with someone for over 3 years and he spend most of his time at the house. I pay child maintenance and provide enough support to my kids in terms of cloths, uniform, afterschool activities etc. I have full records of providing over 2,000 per month for over 7 years. Which is more than required in the consent order.

She is now aware that the spousal maintenance will end if she remarries and that i only have to pay for another 3-4 years until my kids finish secondary school.

what are her chances of appealing the original consent order or forcing me to pay any more?

Thanks

Edited by ThePlanner on Tuesday 4th July 09:34

[NGee]

£2000/mth for 7 years!!

That's £140,000 - you could have got a hit man cheaper than that, and as a bonus you'd have got you kids back!



Apologies for the very unhelpful comment, I just couldn't believe what I was reading (not saying I don't believe you).

[hyphen]

ThePlanner said:

Hey all,
...what are her chances of appealing the original consent order or forcing me to pay any more?

Thanks

Not a solicitor, but when a consent order is made, its made on all the facts available at the time and on the understanding that it is final.

To re-open a consent order would require grounds to do so I.e. that material information was withheld at that time.

If you have since the order gone on to do well for yourself, that isn't going to be grounds to re-open an order I don't think. She would need to seek permission of the court to start proceedings.

[super7]

hyphen said:

ThePlanner said:

Hey all,
...what are her chances of appealing the original consent order or forcing me to pay any more?

Thanks

Not a solicitor, but when a consent order is made, its made on all the facts available at the time and on the understanding that it is final.

To re-open a consent order would require grounds to do so I.e. that material information was withheld at that time.

If you have since the order gone on to do well for yourself, that isn't going to be grounds to re-open an order I don't think. She would need to seek permission of the court to start proceedings.

Did you agree a 'Clean Break' in the consent order....... if so, it would be difficult for her to re-open the consent order.

Otherwise, yes it's possible for her to get it re-opened. Usually for a change that's occurred recently after the divorce, like an inheritance.

She could argue that you are only where you are now, professionally, because she stayed at home at looked after the kids, therefore she has some claim on your future success!

[w8pmc]

Couple of quick points.

The consent order 'should' have been clean break, so technically if you won the EuroMillions the day after it was executed, then so be it & other than any moral reaction, it's tough & nothing legally is enforceable.

Also you mention child support for your kids, unless something 'different' was negotiated, child support is payable until the end of full time education, which in the UK is now up until 18 or 19yrs old depending on courses/education.

My middle son has reset his College education, so did the first year of A-Levels, but then decided to swap to a 2yr BTEC course, so i'll be paying until the end of his BTEC as that's the end of HIS full time education.

[Amateurish]

Usually it is very difficult to set aside a consent order reached in the course of financial remedies proceedings because it is made with the express agreement of both parties. Any challenge must generally be on the basis of material non-disclosure, fraud/misrepresentation, mistake, undue influence or supervening events which invalidate the basis of the order.

Personally, I would just ignore. It's probably just hot air.

[Muzzer79]

ThePlanner said:

So moving on to now, my kids flew out to see me (I live out of the UK) for Christmas and new year and returned home all happy. but carrying the message daddy is living in a nice place we had a great holiday and done a lot of new things etc. This obviously didn't go down well with the ex-wife and she is now demanding that the consent order (dated 2017) is void as i have a nice comfortable life and she is entitled to more. She has demanded I pay off her mortgage.

I'm not doubting you, but there must be some more substance to this.

i.e, I doubt your ex-wife contacted you saying "You're doing well and are comfortable so I want more - you need to pay off my mortgage"

What are her 'official' reasons for claiming the consent order is void and how has she gone about informing you of this? Has it come via a solicitor?

[hyphen]

Muzzer79 said:

I'm not doubting you, but there must be some more substance to this.

i.e, I doubt your ex-wife contacted you saying "You're doing well and are comfortable so I want more - you need to pay off my mortgage"
.....

Bless your naive self.

Standard behaviour- it's a sense of entitlement many, but not all, women show after their husband wake up and realise what the hell have I married and leave them.

It's revenge/greed parcelled up as " I need it for the children".

[Durzel]

lol man, £2k a month, so basically a ~£32k job but without the actual having to work part of it.

I get that maintenance is (in theory) for the children, but the children are 14-15 so it's not like she can't do a part time job and/or claim child benefit?

And it's not enough. Jesus wept.

[Muzzer79]

hyphen said:

Muzzer79 said:

I'm not doubting you, but there must be some more substance to this.

i.e, I doubt your ex-wife contacted you saying "You're doing well and are comfortable so I want more - you need to pay off my mortgage"
.....

Bless your naive self.

Standard behaviour- it's a sense of entitlement many, but not all, women show after their husband wake up and realise what the hell have I married and leave them.

It's revenge/greed parcelled up as " I need it for the children".

I know it's standard behaviour for some women. However, we're trying to establish if this is

a) the foundation-less rantings of a jealous woman who is unhappy at the OP's success but has no substance to her claim therefore can likely be ignored

or

b) A claim with some kind of background and foundation, sent via a legal professional or about to be sent from a legal professional which should therefore not be ignored.

[Durzel]

ThePlanner said:

It’s more of (a). As ex is with a new guy who is in debt, has poorly paid job has realised that if she marries would lose a sizeable amount of free money from me. And it’s a trigger for the marital home to be sold and for her to go it alone. Aka the end of the gravy train.

The equity from the house sale once split between us give a good deposit for her new place, but she cannot afford the mortgage on hers and the new guys income. Hence the request for additional money from house sale.

Also in the last few months I have changed job etc so the requests for money keep
Coming

Reminded me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiZSG2vDMIo

I've got no experience or advice for you I'm afraid, suffice to say that it sounds like you've already bent over backwards, far beyond what would be considered reasonable.

Presumably, as said above, the consent order was a "clean break" one? Can you confirm?

[Dynion Araf Uchaf]

ThePlanner said:

It’s more of (a). As ex is with a new guy who is in debt, has poorly paid job has realised that if she marries would lose a sizeable amount of free money from me. And it’s a trigger for the marital home to be sold and for her to go it alone. Aka the end of the gravy train.

The equity from the house sale once split between us give a good deposit for her new place, but she cannot afford the mortgage on hers and the new guys income. Hence the request for additional money from house sale.

Also in the last few months I have changed job etc so the requests for money keep
Coming

so what you are basically saying is that your wife traded down. Jesus that's a kicker (for her)

[Regbuser]

ThePlanner said:

Also in the last few months I have changed job etc so the requests for money keep coming

Then her requests should be directed formally, from her solicitor to yours - you must ignore and not respond to any unofficial approaches, even if she tries to use the kids as a conduit, especially if she uses the kids as a conduit!

[Collectingbrass]

ThePlanner said:

Hey all,

I am looking for some advice/opinion on my situation. Overall I think i am largely covered. But I am receiving on going threats from my ex wife.

Background:
2 children under 18 - currently live with ex wife
Divorced in 2013
Consent order approved by Court in 2017 after years of arguing and ultimatums ( I took on all Debts and house was split 50:50 to be sold when kids are 18)

So moving on to now, my kids flew out to see me (I live out of the UK) for Christmas and new year and returned home all happy. but carrying the message daddy is living in a nice place we had a great holiday and done a lot of new things etc. This obviously didn't go down well with the ex-wife and she is now demanding that the consent order (dated 2017) is void as i have a nice comfortable life and she is entitled to more. She has demanded I pay off her mortgage.

To confirm I am paying spousal maintenance even though she has been with someone for over 3 years and he spend most of his time at the house. I pay child maintenance and provide enough support to my kids in terms of cloths, uniform, afterschool activities etc. I have full records of providing over 2,000 per month for over 7 years. Which is more than required in the consent order.

She is now aware that the spousal maintenance will end if she remarries and that i only have to pay for another 3-4 years until my kids finish secondary school.

what are her chances of appealing the original consent order or forcing me to pay any more?

Thanks

Assuming a well drafted consent order in English law (I'm divorced, not a lawyer) should feature:
- A clean break order as others have said, including pensions
- Child support till they are 18 or finish university - which is variable under the Child Maintenance Service rules as the paying parent's income changes, but one of you needs to trigger the change.
- Spousal Maintenance which finishes on cohabitation, not marriage, and is adjusted by inflation.

I would reread your consent order and make sure you are doing exactly what it says. Might be worth a review with a solicitor to check your understanding.

[ThePlanner]

Durzel said:

Reminded me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiZSG2vDMIo

I've got no experience or advice for you I'm afraid, suffice to say that it sounds like you've already bent over backwards, far beyond what would be considered reasonable.

Presumably, as said above, the consent order was a "clean break" one? Can you confirm?

Yes was clean break. I have short call with my solicitor tomorrow to gain advice on the issue

[Rufus Stone]

ThePlanner said:

Yes was clean break. I have short call with my solicitor tomorrow to gain advice on the issue

It's not a clean break if you are paying spousal maintenance.

If this is defined as a fixed monetary amount in the Consent Order she could apply to court to increase this on the basis that she needs it and you can afford it. This could also apply to child maintenance as you are living abroad.

The revision of the financial settlement of the marital assets is highly unlikely unless she can prove a fundamental error in it (eg hidden assets).

[anonymous-user]

The words "you are fudged spring to mind"

[Rufus Stone]

ThePlanner said:

As an update I had a short meeting with the solicitor who arranged the consent order, but without going into too much detail.

1. The division of assets can not be challenged unless assets were hidden etc.
2. she is able to go to court to reassess spouse maintenance, but she would need to demonstrate hardship loss of job etc. As her income has gone up since the order was draft this would be extremely difficult for the court to approve.
3. the court only has jurisdiction on child maintenance for 12 months after the consent order was drafted. She is able to contact CMS to make a new claim.

The solicitor also advised not to disclose income to CMS they they would be forced to use the default income level as per there guidance. In addition as I live in a country without a REMO agreement she would have extreme difficulty enforcing any claim.

I think your solicitor is incorrect regarding the child maintenance. If you reside in a country without a REMO the CMS has no power to assess child maintenance, but the courts do.

[Muzzer79]

Curledge said:

The words "you are fudged spring to mind"

Why?

Seems like the ex-wife is chancing her arm without much substance to me.....

[Piersman2]

I remember my ex coming back to me a year after we'd agreed and signed off the order and divorced.

She wanted the £1400 a month I was paying to increase to something like £1600 for the next year based on her shonky inflation based calcs.

I pointed out to her the £1400 was it, fixed, and that if she wanted to challenge it I'd be reviewing my agreement to fund the kids through 1st degree educations and cease at 18 as legally required.

Never heard more from her on the subject after that.

Sounds like the OPs missus needs it pointing out to her she should be grateful for what's she's getting, if the OP is based in UAE or similar location, he could be not paying her a penny very easily, so many fellas don't. (I do not and would never condone such a course, real men pay for their kids, but I know of many that have never paid a penny post divorce, feckless tts!)