Ex Partner demanding petrol money
Discussion
As this is pistonheads then this is car related.
My children live with me, my ex decided to move to Devon - 200 miles away and sees the kids about once ever 2 months. I had a letter through yesterday from child maintenance saying she wants £12 a week towards diesel money when she comes up to see them.
She hardly has any contact with them. Calls them maybe once a month. It's a joke.
She very rarely does come up to see them and more often than not it's because she has a branch of her company not far from here so is up for work.
Note the car in question is a newish 2.0 diesel Merc so very frugal.
My children live with me, my ex decided to move to Devon - 200 miles away and sees the kids about once ever 2 months. I had a letter through yesterday from child maintenance saying she wants £12 a week towards diesel money when she comes up to see them.
She hardly has any contact with them. Calls them maybe once a month. It's a joke.
She very rarely does come up to see them and more often than not it's because she has a branch of her company not far from here so is up for work.
Note the car in question is a newish 2.0 diesel Merc so very frugal.
k her", but I guess that's out of the question. 
It's there in black and white as an allowable expense for the NRP. Do you have a contact diary, showing that her contact is NOT regular to show the CSA, or whatever they're called now. Her double bubbling mileage claims with her company is only of interest if you like pressing the nuke button, as that opens up an HMRC can of worms.
wjwren said:
The payments have gone down anyway as she says she now looks after and pays for her partner's 2 children which I find hard to believe. Is there any way to contest or prove that she is paying for them? Im guessing not ?
I speak from a similar position.I suggest you agree to the terms.
Obviously it is an outrageous request but in many years time your kids will learn the truth and any sort of pettiness now will not look good.
I currently receive no contribution and do most of the travelling to facilitate contact.
I used to work for CMG. Must say its a very hard job! Too much work, complicated systems and not enough staff.
Process could be different now (was around 4/5 years ago i worked there). She would be applying for a 'variation' under contact costs which is allowable and would potentially lower the payments. Unless the process has changed dramatically then you get the opportunity to put your comment/views/figures across. The staff would then have to make the decision to accept or reject it, or potentially decide on a different amount if they feel its excessive. Can't remember the figures they used, but 45p per mile is the HMRC figure, so 200 miles at 45p is £90, this is £11.25 per month. So £12 p/week does sound excessive unless she is saying its happening every week/fortnight. She could claim extra's that are necessary to make contact happen such as hotels.
So just write back with your points/views and leave the decision to the case worker. Bear in mind they are having to listen to two complete strangers saying completely different stories they have to make a decision. You can always dispute it and have it looked at again. If you don't already, keep a log of the dates she comes and has them.
In regards to her partners children, they are classed as ROCs (relevant other children). And she should only get that if they all live in the same household. The only real check for this was checking that Child Benefit was in payment to the same address as hers. As if its true she will be contributing to that household.
Hope that helps.
Process could be different now (was around 4/5 years ago i worked there). She would be applying for a 'variation' under contact costs which is allowable and would potentially lower the payments. Unless the process has changed dramatically then you get the opportunity to put your comment/views/figures across. The staff would then have to make the decision to accept or reject it, or potentially decide on a different amount if they feel its excessive. Can't remember the figures they used, but 45p per mile is the HMRC figure, so 200 miles at 45p is £90, this is £11.25 per month. So £12 p/week does sound excessive unless she is saying its happening every week/fortnight. She could claim extra's that are necessary to make contact happen such as hotels.
So just write back with your points/views and leave the decision to the case worker. Bear in mind they are having to listen to two complete strangers saying completely different stories they have to make a decision. You can always dispute it and have it looked at again. If you don't already, keep a log of the dates she comes and has them.
In regards to her partners children, they are classed as ROCs (relevant other children). And she should only get that if they all live in the same household. The only real check for this was checking that Child Benefit was in payment to the same address as hers. As if its true she will be contributing to that household.
Hope that helps.
Seems weird to me that you are to pay for petrol before she even uses it. If she does not come by in the next two months, can you get the money back?
Only an opinion, am not a lawyer or that but I would have thought if you as a parent decide to move 200 miles away from your kids then you have to be fully responsible for any costs to see them, particularly as it hardly appears you desperately want to keep a close relationship going with them? Why is it your financial issue when she has chosen to be so far away from her kids?
My fear is you will pay this, it will be regularly adjusted upwards......and she never visits anyhow, or far less.
Only an opinion, am not a lawyer or that but I would have thought if you as a parent decide to move 200 miles away from your kids then you have to be fully responsible for any costs to see them, particularly as it hardly appears you desperately want to keep a close relationship going with them? Why is it your financial issue when she has chosen to be so far away from her kids?
My fear is you will pay this, it will be regularly adjusted upwards......and she never visits anyhow, or far less.
I would pay it . I had a far more expensive experience on school fees - I could have won this easily but as was mentioned by a previous poster I took the long view. I did not want my son to think he was the subject of a price negotiation. It is a small amount of money and does not subject you to any future obligation,and you can cover that in writing if you feel it necessary.
How old are the kids?
Can you suggest that rather than put herself out she buys them a return train ticket, and you'll pay them £12 to get a meal on the train?
One question. When she comes, how long does it take, and who does she stay with? And what other people does she meet up with ?
Can you suggest that rather than put herself out she buys them a return train ticket, and you'll pay them £12 to get a meal on the train?
One question. When she comes, how long does it take, and who does she stay with? And what other people does she meet up with ?
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