with apologies to Madcop et al

[apache]

While I was "flying" down the road yesterday (i.e 10 mph over the
speed limit), I passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a
radar gun
on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "what's your hurry?"
To
which I replied, "I'm late for work".

"Oh yeah" said the cop, "what do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher" I responded

The cop was stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? and just what
does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well, "I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my
way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole
hand in
I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I
slowly but
surely stretch, until its about 6 foot wide".

"And just what do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him
behind a bridge......"

Traffic ticket £95
Court costs £45
The look on that cop's face PRICELESS.

[kevinday]

Apache, this has appeared several times in recent weeks, mostly under the jokes thread!

[bluesandtwos]

Q)

Why do all police officers have a large scar on the top of their heads?

A)

Its where they have had their brain removed...

[PetrolTed]