YOU MIGHT BE A COP IF....
Discussion
Got sent this at work tonight, made me titter, so I thought I'd share it with you guys....
YOU MIGHT BE A COP IF:
You have the bladder capacity of five people,
You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience,
You believe that 50% of people are a waste of space,
Your idea of a good time is a shooting at the start of a shift,
You call for a PNC name check on anyone who is remotely friendly to you,
Discussing dismemberment over dinner seems perfectly normal to you,
You find humour in other peoples stupidity,
You have your weekends off planned for a year,
You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce,
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "It's very quiet today isn't it?"
Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than a computer can track,
You believe chocolate is a food group,
Having a beer at 7am seems perfectly normal and relaxing,
You believe "Too stupid to live" should be a valid Court sentence,
You have ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin to laugh uncontrollably,
When you mention vegatables, you're not referring to a food group,
You think caffeine should be available in IV form,
Your favourite hallucinogen is exhaustion,
You nodded and laughed at all the above, and realized what a sick bunch we all are......
HW
YOU MIGHT BE A COP IF:
You have the bladder capacity of five people,
You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience,
You believe that 50% of people are a waste of space,
Your idea of a good time is a shooting at the start of a shift,
You call for a PNC name check on anyone who is remotely friendly to you,
Discussing dismemberment over dinner seems perfectly normal to you,
You find humour in other peoples stupidity,
You have your weekends off planned for a year,
You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce,
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "It's very quiet today isn't it?"
Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than a computer can track,
You believe chocolate is a food group,
Having a beer at 7am seems perfectly normal and relaxing,
You believe "Too stupid to live" should be a valid Court sentence,
You have ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin to laugh uncontrollably,
When you mention vegatables, you're not referring to a food group,
You think caffeine should be available in IV form,
Your favourite hallucinogen is exhaustion,
You nodded and laughed at all the above, and realized what a sick bunch we all are......
HW
Hollywood Wheels said:
Got sent this at work tonight, made me titter, so I thought I'd share it with you guys....
YOU MIGHT BE A COP IF:
You have the bladder capacity of five people,
YOU MIGHT BE A COP IF:
You have the bladder capacity of five people,
Most pregnant wimmin do
Hollywood Wheels said:
You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience,
What me und Mad Doc get up to ist none of your business
Hollywood Wheels said:
You believe that 50% of people are a waste of space,
A&E at weekend
.. per Mad Doc from junior days und my cousin Joachim who ist A&E specialist. Hollywood Wheels said:
Your idea of a good time is a shooting at the start of a shift,
Swiss army tales come to mind.. ist the law there for all males to be thus trained. I confess that no one knows why - but for blokes ist good exuicse to learn how to use a gun... how to drive a tank.. how to survive on mountain .. und how to blow up a speed cam
safely Und worryingly my cousins und brothers know a thing or two about how to engineer a "spontaneous" combustion..
Ist good job they have striong sense of morals then und are true to Swiss nature of "Gehorsampflicht" .. genetically programmed to be a Dalek as in "Obeyyyyyy .....ObeYYYYYYYY.... OBBEYYYYYYYYYY!" 
Hollywood Wheels said:
You call for a PNC name check on anyone who is remotely friendly to you,
If nice .. Mad Doc wonders if they satisfied with treatment received...
Hollywood Wheels said:
Discussing dismemberment over dinner seems perfectly normal to you,
You been to dinner "bei uns/chez nous"
Most in family either lawyers, 
Bib: .. medics.. or accountants Hollywood Wheels said:
You find humour in other peoples stupidity,
You have your weekends off planned for a year,
See above
Hollywood Wheels said:
You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce,
Most definitely all those who can do .. think this.. Pee cee cretins could not possibly comment
Hollywood Wheels said:
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "It's very quiet today isn't it?"
When all ist quiet in snug..mention speed cams, lycra louts und critical mass und tree huggers in one breath und watch .... ist like scene from the "Omen"
Hollywood Wheels said:
Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than a computer can track,
Live in Cumbria .. farm shops
Hollywood Wheels said:
You believe chocolate is a food group,
Und why not.. milk choc feed brain .. dark choc soothe blood pressure.. ist in BMJ .. must be right then
Hollywood Wheels said:
Having a beer at 7am seems perfectly normal and relaxing,
If on a night shift..
Hollywood Wheels said:
You believe "Too stupid to live" should be a valid Court sentence,
Well.. we all think that about chavs
Hollywood Wheels said:
You have ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin to laugh uncontrollably,
Anyone employed do this
Hollywood Wheels said:
When you mention vegatables, you're not referring to a food group,
All in medical profession has this thought
Hollywood Wheels said:
You think caffeine should be available in IV form,
Your favourite hallucinogen is exhaustion,
You nodded and laughed at all the above, and realized what a sick bunch we all are......
HW
Ist the norm for all medics, accountants, lawyers, vets und toppest scientists
Edited by WildCat on Thursday 8th June 20:49
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