Attire for court
Discussion
I'm appearing as main witness in a case at the local youth mag court next week.
Thing is I need to look kinda meaty as it involves the local untouchables (little people).
Need I wear a suit or is clean casual okay? I'm inclined to wear my black big'n'ard bouncer jacket (looks like I've mugged a water tank!) with clean black jeans and a polo shirt.
Obviously the mag will form a visual impression of me but I am an eloquent chap so don't see any problems. I'm quite up on crown court and the correct form there but this one is new to me.
Any advice would be appreciated. I'm always willing to learn from those with more experience.
Thing is I need to look kinda meaty as it involves the local untouchables (little people).
Need I wear a suit or is clean casual okay? I'm inclined to wear my black big'n'ard bouncer jacket (looks like I've mugged a water tank!) with clean black jeans and a polo shirt.
Obviously the mag will form a visual impression of me but I am an eloquent chap so don't see any problems. I'm quite up on crown court and the correct form there but this one is new to me.
Any advice would be appreciated. I'm always willing to learn from those with more experience.
Suit and tie.
No large rings, no ear-rings, no large chains. Pretend you are a magistrate, and dress accordingly. You will be surprised at the difference it can make (the scrotes usually do the off the peg suit, but cannot take off the Elizabeth Duke items, which really negates the suit).
No large rings, no ear-rings, no large chains. Pretend you are a magistrate, and dress accordingly. You will be surprised at the difference it can make (the scrotes usually do the off the peg suit, but cannot take off the Elizabeth Duke items, which really negates the suit).
You MUST make yourself look middle class to get what you want from the courts, IMO. Speaking eloquently, as you say you can, will help no end.
On no account say "yeah but no but yeah but" etc.
However, if you wish to blend in with the normal court attendee these days, a freshly pressed football shirt will suffice.
On no account say "yeah but no but yeah but" etc.
However, if you wish to blend in with the normal court attendee these days, a freshly pressed football shirt will suffice.
Yes it's Bristol. Taken since April last year to come round, partly as I couldn't make it in November. At least they've had to think about it all Christmas. But it won't be their fault that they were doing what they were doing and I'll be the bad guy for helping them be apprehended by a helpful team of BiB. Oh for the days when a thick ear could be dished out and they'd get another one from their parents for getting the first one!
Erring towards the dark blue suit, blue shirt and dark blue tie. Hair suitably short and goatee being grown at double speed
Erring towards the dark blue suit, blue shirt and dark blue tie. Hair suitably short and goatee being grown at double speed
Ubertractor said:
Yes it's Bristol. Taken since April last year to come round, partly as I couldn't make it in November. At least they've had to think about it all Christmas. But it won't be their fault that they were doing what they were doing and I'll be the bad guy for helping them be apprehended by a helpful team of BiB. Oh for the days when a thick ear could be dished out and they'd get another one from their parents for getting the first one!
Erring towards the dark blue suit, blue shirt and dark blue tie. Hair suitably short and goatee being grown at double speed
Erring towards the dark blue suit, blue shirt and dark blue tie. Hair suitably short and goatee being grown at double speed
I can see a 'Max and Paddy' look comming on.
Just bear in mind that there are certain judges, one of which sits in my local crown, who will pretty much convict on the basis of the dress and attitude of the defendant. I have watched the defence barrister basically fold up, as he sees the defendant brought from the cells, with his bling kit on, and the Wassap hand gestures to his mates in the galleries.. Oh, and he got the maximum sentence too......
So, as I said, suited, booted, speak slowly enough to be easily heard (not so slowly that they fall asleep, they are half way there already), politely, and wear minimal bling. And FFS make sure your mobile is switched off.
So, as I said, suited, booted, speak slowly enough to be easily heard (not so slowly that they fall asleep, they are half way there already), politely, and wear minimal bling. And FFS make sure your mobile is switched off.
For my first court appearance, I turned up suited, booted and polite.
The guy who was in before me came flying backwards out of the courtroom calling the magistrates c*nts and threatening to burn their houses down.
I thanked him for making me look great in comparison and walked away with the minimum fine possible for my transgression
My advice - always wear a suit and eat plenty of humble pie!
The guy who was in before me came flying backwards out of the courtroom calling the magistrates c*nts and threatening to burn their houses down.
I thanked him for making me look great in comparison and walked away with the minimum fine possible for my transgression
My advice - always wear a suit and eat plenty of humble pie!
[quote=Scrooloose]The guy who was in before me came flying backwards out of the courtroom calling the magistrates c*nts and threatening to burn their houses down.
I thanked him for making me look great in comparison and walked away with the minimum fine possible for my transgression
[quote]
Absolutely priceless
I thanked him for making me look great in comparison and walked away with the minimum fine possible for my transgression
[quote]
Absolutely priceless
jasandjules said:
Just bear in mind that there are certain judges, one of which sits in my local crown, who will pretty much convict on the basis of the dress and attitude of the defendant. I have watched the defence barrister basically fold up, as he sees the defendant brought from the cells, with his bling kit on, and the Wassap hand gestures to his mates in the galleries.. Oh, and he got the maximum sentence too......
So, as I said, suited, booted, speak slowly enough to be easily heard (not so slowly that they fall asleep, they are half way there already), politely, and wear minimal bling. And FFS make sure your mobile is switched off.
So, as I said, suited, booted, speak slowly enough to be easily heard (not so slowly that they fall asleep, they are half way there already), politely, and wear minimal bling. And FFS make sure your mobile is switched off.
Don't forget these aren't Judges, they are Magistrates, some of whom are sandal wearing lefties that haven't got a clue about law and take their advice from the clerk of the court.
I think I'd rather take my chances in a Crown court over mags any day. BTW, Crown court judges don't convict, jurys do.
Apart from all that, Ubertractor isn't the one on trial is he.
Edited by falcemob on Sunday 7th January 12:47
falcemob said:
Don't forget these aren't Judges, they are Magistrates, some of whom are sandal wearing lefties that haven't got a clue about law and take their advice from the clerk of the court.
I think I'd rather take my chances in a Crown court over mags any day. BTW, Crown court judges don't convict, jurys do.
Apart from all that, Ubertractor isn't the one on trial is he.
I think I'd rather take my chances in a Crown court over mags any day. BTW, Crown court judges don't convict, jurys do.
Apart from all that, Ubertractor isn't the one on trial is he.
Indeed. Plus, as it is the Youth Court they will be super cuddly wuddly too and feel all sorry for the poor little scrote who has been badly raised. Sentencing powers for Youths distress me. They don't all take advice from the Clerk either (well, except of strict points of law), certainly my Uncle knows more than his Clerk.
And Judges can, at times, properly direct the jury to convict, and in some cases of course direct a jury to acquit.
Did I tell you the one about the Juror whose Birthday it was? She brought in a cake for all the Jurors to split, then asked the Clerk (whilst the Defence counsel was submitting) to pass a piece to the judge, along with a note asking if the judge would mind if they offered the Defendant a piece of cake.. (this one was recounted to be my someone at the trial, so I hope it is true and he wasn't winding me up)
And no, he isn't the one on trial, BUT the bottom line is appearances do count. So smartly dressed etc.. and as I said, no Liz Duke specials etc.. And also be prepared for some attempts to twist your words up, and possibly even (though unlikely) some attempts to smear your reputation a little (i.e. if you have previous convictions etc.. though the rules for getting them into open court are strict).
Well what a fun way to spend a couple of hours. The Youth Court really was chav central with all the little oiks seemingly having spent all their Christmas money at Elizabeth Duke. You could feel the attitude oozing out of their shell suits.
Anyhoo, in my best suit and leather coat I cut rather a dash. A neighbour who was also a witness was already there.
The case involved two oiks. They had been loitering near my mother's house, brandishing bolt croppers and a golf club. The one with the bolt croppers came to the door and asked for a bag to put them in. Having spotted my mother in the hosue and not me he was a little surprised when I appeared. Sent him packing and decided to call non emergency BiB number. Watching from my office window upstairs I saw thenm go to house opposite (old lady luckily not in) and then approach garage of property next door. One went into back garden, other studied locks on garage then bent down and applied croppers. I dialled 999 and gave very full description and running commentary. Oiks walk up the road, try to get bag from old dear at house and then as if by magic a lot of BiB arrive and apprehend them. Hands couldn't be more red if they painted them with very red paint.
Oiks deny any wrong doing (dumped bolt croppers when heard BiB arriving). However, our evidence was pretty damning. Oik with croppers refuses caution (in spite of having no previous) and choose court. Oik ends up in court today (event was last April) and goes guilty.
Could have got slap on wrists but now has record. Thick or what!?!?!
Time to fill in my expenses claim
Anyhoo, in my best suit and leather coat I cut rather a dash. A neighbour who was also a witness was already there.
The case involved two oiks. They had been loitering near my mother's house, brandishing bolt croppers and a golf club. The one with the bolt croppers came to the door and asked for a bag to put them in. Having spotted my mother in the hosue and not me he was a little surprised when I appeared. Sent him packing and decided to call non emergency BiB number. Watching from my office window upstairs I saw thenm go to house opposite (old lady luckily not in) and then approach garage of property next door. One went into back garden, other studied locks on garage then bent down and applied croppers. I dialled 999 and gave very full description and running commentary. Oiks walk up the road, try to get bag from old dear at house and then as if by magic a lot of BiB arrive and apprehend them. Hands couldn't be more red if they painted them with very red paint.
Oiks deny any wrong doing (dumped bolt croppers when heard BiB arriving). However, our evidence was pretty damning. Oik with croppers refuses caution (in spite of having no previous) and choose court. Oik ends up in court today (event was last April) and goes guilty.
Could have got slap on wrists but now has record. Thick or what!?!?!
Time to fill in my expenses claim
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