The sorry tale of Officer Dibble
The sorry tale of Officer Dibble
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Simpo Two

Original Poster:

93,041 posts

296 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
Was sent this today:



just had an interesting chat with one of East Sussex's finest police officers - let's call him officer Dibble

The discussion went something like this

Dibble "good afternoon sir, is this your car"

me "yes, why have you stopped me?"

Dibble "How fast were you driving just before we stopped you?"

me "about 55/60mph"

Dibble "Actually it was 58mph, are you aware of the speed limit?

me "yes"

Dibble "then why were you going nearly 20 mph over the limit?" (at which point a lecture about the danger of speeding, failing to respond to road signs, how it was a country road etc etc etc)

me "sorry but are you aware that this section of the road is national speed limit?"

Dibble "no it's not. It is a 40 mph zone, the signs are back there"

me "so what about that sign I passed saying it was no longer a 40 zone but national limit?"

Dibble "there is no sign"

me "let's go back and have a look shall we?"

Dibble "there's no need, we clearly saw the 40 mph signs"

me "you are not local are you?"

Dibble, "no we are from Heathfield (about 20 miles away) but that doesn't
make any difference. You were still exceeding the speed limit"

me "If you were local you would know about the national limit sign on the post which is kind of hard to see since the council put a sign up which almost hides it"

Dibble "well we didn't see it"

me "does that mean it's not there then?"

Dibble "no, but it does mean that in our opinion you were speeding"

me "so you are going to give me a ticket for doing 58mph in a 60 mph zone because you didn't see the sign? Who's going to ring the local papers - you or me?"

Dibble "don't get sarcastic with me"

me "shall we go back and have a look at that sign now?"

Dibble "no I'll wait here with you and my partner will go back and check"

me "I'll lock my car up and we can all go back together - I can show you where the sign is then"

Dibble "do you think we are incapable of seeing a sign at the side of the road?"

me "I'm not going to answer that one because you'll probably accuse me of being sarcastic.........but isn't that why you stopped me in the first place"

Dibble then went to his car and sent his mate off to have a look, 2 minutes later he's back and the two of them are having a bit of a chat

Dibble "You are half right, there is a sign there but because it's partly obscured by other signage and the hedge then it doesn't apply"

me "you've just made that up haven't you?"

Dibble "no that's how it works so although the sign is there because you can't see it then it doesn't apply so you were speeding"

me " I did see it, that's why I accelerated from 40 mph to 60 mph, it was you that didn't see it which is why you stopped me for not speeding"

Dibble "I've told you about being sarcastic"

me "so if I were going the other way and didn't slow down for the 40mph sign which is actually partly hidden in the hedge at the moment I could use this argument and quote you to avoid getting nicked - would you write it down for me along with your name and number?"

Dibble "I've told you about being sarcastic"

me "Look this is going nowhere, either give me a ticket for speeding or let me go home"

I then got a pen out of my car door pocket and started to write down his number

Dibble "what are you doing"

me "without wishing to sound even slightly sarcastic, I'm writing down your number so that I can report you"

Dibble "OK, go on then, carry on, go home or wherever you were going just don't do it again"

me "don't do what again?"

Dibble - no answer just got in his car and they drove off

Dracoro

9,037 posts

276 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
getmecoat

Dibble

13,291 posts

271 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
Simpo Two said:
Was sent this today:

just had an interesting chat with one of East Sussex's finest police officers - let's call him officer Dibble
Let's not.

ps - Repost

mr_spock

3,376 posts

246 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
Report them anyway. How much working time did you lose? How much do you make per hour? They should either refund you or your employer, out of their own pockets. Harumph.

Jasandjules

72,676 posts

260 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
Dibble said:
Let's not.
ps - Repost
biggrinbiggrinbiggrin


GreenV8S

31,027 posts

315 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
Simpo Two said:
Was sent this today:
And that *must* be true because I heard from my mate's sister's boyfriend's second cousin who overheard somebody talking in the pub ... hehe

Hongkongfooi

644 posts

278 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
Simpo

I am sorry that you had to endure some of my colleagues poor judgement. Were they local officers or traffic. I hope they were local officers which would explain there lack of knowledge traffic wise.
Clearly they were not happy backing down which if they had done early on in the converstaion would have altered your perception and saved there 'face'.
We are not all like this I am afraid!

shuvitupya

3,340 posts

248 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
Simpo Two said:
Was sent this today:
So what?

I was sent a gas bill. biggrin

L14MNV

160 posts

230 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
The sorry tale of gas engineer Terry -

I was sat in my house watching Jeremy Kyle when I hear this knock on my door - it’s the gas man but to save his embarrassment we'll call him Terry.

The conversation went on:

ME: hello
Terry: Hello
Me: what seems to be the problem?
Terry: Just checking your meter sir
Me: well don’t you trust me? I’ve already phoned someone in a call centre and told them
Terry: No need to get that way with me
Me: I’m not
Terry: Well ill check it anyway
Me: well what’s the point? I’ve already done it and told your staff?
Terry: Well I’m doing it anyway
Me: well go on then
Terry: I will
Me: ok then good
Terry: *sigh*
Me: *grunt* - *evil look* shuts door.


My point is. . . who cares that you were stopped and a BiB and they thought someone was speeding because of the Councils incompetence? Would you like us to cheer or hiss? I don’t know? Thanks anyway. If you can keep us all posted on your fascinating conversations throughout your days, that'll be swell.

Christ, how many trolls actually live on this site?

DanS

1,156 posts

315 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
L14MNV said:
Christ, how many trolls actually live on this site?
I'd not take up Troll hunting as a new Career if I were you. what with your 37 posts to his 21 thousand odd...

L14MNV

160 posts

230 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
I think it's irrespective how many posts I’ve made on this particular site. This post is ridiculous and pointless.

oggs

8,817 posts

285 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
L14MNV said:
This post is ridiculous and pointless.
But you still posted on it wink

Fat Richie

1,271 posts

249 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
L14MNV said:
I think it's irrespective how many posts I’ve made on this particular site. This post is ridiculous and pointless.
Maybe so, but it was funnier than yours............. biggrin

ATG

23,843 posts

303 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
Simpo Two said:
Was sent this today:

<followed by a story that maketh my chin to itch>

d1bble

3,417 posts

294 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
L14MNV said:
I think it's irrespective how many posts I’ve made on this particular site. This post is ridiculous and pointless.
Bit harsh on Simpo, Liam.

JustinP1

13,363 posts

261 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
L14MNV said:
I think it's irrespective how many posts I’ve made on this particular site. This post is ridiculous and pointless.
Its about Speed, Plod AND the Law all in one post.

Pretty much exactly what this section is all about really.

Try 'Computers and Stuff' for something different...

...but be warned... they talk about computers and stuff!

d1bble

3,417 posts

294 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
JustinP1 said:
L14MNV said:
I think it's irrespective how many posts I’ve made on this particular site. This post is ridiculous and pointless.
Its about Speed, Plod AND the Law all in one post.

Pretty much exactly what this section is all about really.

Try 'Computers and Stuff' for something different...

...but be warned... they talk about computers and stuff!
rofl very nice!!

ATG

23,843 posts

303 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
JustinP1 said:
L14MNV said:
I think it's irrespective how many posts I’ve made on this particular site. This post is ridiculous and pointless.
Its about Speed, Plod AND the Law all in one post.

Pretty much exactly what this section is all about really.

Try 'Computers and Stuff' for something different...

...but be warned... they talk about computers and stuff!
Yeah, it's "Speed, Plad & the Law" .. no mention of "and the spam that lands in your inbox"

L14MNV

160 posts

230 months

Monday 1st October 2007
quotequote all
ATG said:
JustinP1 said:
L14MNV said:
I think it's irrespective how many posts I’ve made on this particular site. This post is ridiculous and pointless.
Its about Speed, Plod AND the Law all in one post.

Pretty much exactly what this section is all about really.

Try 'Computers and Stuff' for something different...

...but be warned... they talk about computers and stuff!
Yeah, it's "Speed, Plad & the Law" .. no mention of "and the spam that lands in your inbox"
Thank you.

jagdpanther

19,633 posts

250 months

Tuesday 2nd October 2007
quotequote all
L14MNV said:
My point is. . . who cares that you were stopped and a BiB and they thought someone was speeding because of the Councils incompetence? Would you like us to cheer or hiss? I don’t know? Thanks anyway. If you can keep us all posted on your fascinating conversations throughout your days, that'll be swell.

Christ, how many trolls actually live on this site?
Simpo you troll, you've been warned!!

Your impressive post count & your time as a respected PHer mean nothing anymore

You've been told sunshine rofl