An arresting tale ... with a twist
Discussion
This started not being not very funny, but became so hilarious that my trousers are now hanging on the washing line 
.
Returning from running an errand for a friend, I found myself on a single carriageway, in a 40 limit, with a continuous white line on my side of the centre line, following some lengths behind a Corsa which was within one Corsa length of a panel van.
The 40 limit gave way to a NSL after a series of bends, with the road opening into a straight with around 1/2 mile visibility. Being already properly positioned (I know the road well), I saw it was clear ahead on both sides and that the Corsa was neither indicating nor positioning to overtake the van, so I booted it past both of them. I doubt the speedo went above 60 during the entire manoeuvre. As I drew up to the rear of the van, I saw in the corner of my eye the Corsa swerve to the nearside. The driver sounded a long blast on his horn. No matter thought I, I'm clear of you and you've frightened yourself because you weren't paying attention.
Very shortly afterwards the Corsa overtook the van and hared after me, with flashing lights and sounding horn. There was no opportunity for him to overtake for about a mile (owing to on-coming traffic), but the driver kept trying.
When he did overtake - and I was happy to let the idiot do so - he promptly swung in front and slammed on the brakes forcing me to a halt halfway onto the verge.
The driver (in his early 20s) emerged, pointing at me and screaming, "Get out of the car, get out of the car!"
Naturally I merely locked the doors and weighed up whether I should steam-roller the Corsa out of the way whilst I was dialing 999 (I was driving the Jeep).
The Corsa driver then produced a wallet, waved it at me, and shouted, "I'm a police officer, get out of the car!" It did appear to be a warrant card, but as he had no authority to stop me in the first place, I figured I'd stay where I was and just dial 999.
At this very moment, a marked patrol car happened by (clearly not in any hurry) and stopped. The driver (a constable) and the observer (a three-pipper) stepped out. I partly wound down the window, but stayed in the Jeep.
The Corsa driver hurried over to the CI, showing his warrant card and explaining loudly that I'd been driving dangerously, had overtaken on a blind bend and committed various other offences (possibly including bu99ering a dead llama - the way he was ranting, I couldn't be sure). The CI looked at the scene, took the proffered warrant card and studied it.
He then turned to the shouting driver and said (and this is when the funnny side took over), "Mister XXXX, please go with this officer back to his car." [That "Mister" spoke volumes.]
The CI pointed towards the patrol car and made to put the warrant card in his pocket.
The Corsa driver lunged for it and ended on his knees in an arm-lock, with the CI intoning, "I'm arresting you for assaulting a constable in the execution of his duty, contrary to the Police Act." (I didn't catch the section or year.)
[Now you begin to understand the need to dry my trousers ... but it doesn't finish there.]
At no point in this, had either uniformed officer approached my car. When the patrol car driver had taken change of the Corsa driver and put him, protesting vigourously, in the back of the patrol car, the CI walked towards me. I wound down the window further. "Will you be wanting my details as a witness, Chief Inspector?" I asked.
He winked and said, "Sorry about that, sir. He's not from this area. But I don't think we need to trouble you further ... do you?" Then he waved me back onto the road and saluted as I drove off.
I'm still chuckling as I write. I imagine the outcome will be no more than a rap on the knuckles, but even if nothing happens to him, that's one chastened young officer who'll think twice before acting so recklessly again. Lesson learned, move on. No contributor on here I imagine .
Streaky
.Returning from running an errand for a friend, I found myself on a single carriageway, in a 40 limit, with a continuous white line on my side of the centre line, following some lengths behind a Corsa which was within one Corsa length of a panel van.
The 40 limit gave way to a NSL after a series of bends, with the road opening into a straight with around 1/2 mile visibility. Being already properly positioned (I know the road well), I saw it was clear ahead on both sides and that the Corsa was neither indicating nor positioning to overtake the van, so I booted it past both of them. I doubt the speedo went above 60 during the entire manoeuvre. As I drew up to the rear of the van, I saw in the corner of my eye the Corsa swerve to the nearside. The driver sounded a long blast on his horn. No matter thought I, I'm clear of you and you've frightened yourself because you weren't paying attention.
Very shortly afterwards the Corsa overtook the van and hared after me, with flashing lights and sounding horn. There was no opportunity for him to overtake for about a mile (owing to on-coming traffic), but the driver kept trying.
When he did overtake - and I was happy to let the idiot do so - he promptly swung in front and slammed on the brakes forcing me to a halt halfway onto the verge.
The driver (in his early 20s) emerged, pointing at me and screaming, "Get out of the car, get out of the car!"
Naturally I merely locked the doors and weighed up whether I should steam-roller the Corsa out of the way whilst I was dialing 999 (I was driving the Jeep).
The Corsa driver then produced a wallet, waved it at me, and shouted, "I'm a police officer, get out of the car!" It did appear to be a warrant card, but as he had no authority to stop me in the first place, I figured I'd stay where I was and just dial 999.
At this very moment, a marked patrol car happened by (clearly not in any hurry) and stopped. The driver (a constable) and the observer (a three-pipper) stepped out. I partly wound down the window, but stayed in the Jeep.
The Corsa driver hurried over to the CI, showing his warrant card and explaining loudly that I'd been driving dangerously, had overtaken on a blind bend and committed various other offences (possibly including bu99ering a dead llama - the way he was ranting, I couldn't be sure). The CI looked at the scene, took the proffered warrant card and studied it.
He then turned to the shouting driver and said (and this is when the funnny side took over), "Mister XXXX, please go with this officer back to his car." [That "Mister" spoke volumes.]
The CI pointed towards the patrol car and made to put the warrant card in his pocket.
The Corsa driver lunged for it and ended on his knees in an arm-lock, with the CI intoning, "I'm arresting you for assaulting a constable in the execution of his duty, contrary to the Police Act." (I didn't catch the section or year.)
[Now you begin to understand the need to dry my trousers ... but it doesn't finish there.]
At no point in this, had either uniformed officer approached my car. When the patrol car driver had taken change of the Corsa driver and put him, protesting vigourously, in the back of the patrol car, the CI walked towards me. I wound down the window further. "Will you be wanting my details as a witness, Chief Inspector?" I asked.
He winked and said, "Sorry about that, sir. He's not from this area. But I don't think we need to trouble you further ... do you?" Then he waved me back onto the road and saluted as I drove off.
I'm still chuckling as I write. I imagine the outcome will be no more than a rap on the knuckles, but even if nothing happens to him, that's one chastened young officer who'll think twice before acting so recklessly again. Lesson learned, move on. No contributor on here I imagine
.Streaky
All sounds a bit odd to me - surely if they were going to take this further they'd have taken the OP's details?
streaky said:
No matter thought I, I'm clear of you and you've frightened yourself because you weren't paying attention.
Advanced Driving technique is to give a flash of headlights as a warning before commencing overtake. I was concerned while being taught this that it seems aggressive, or that the guy in front might think you’re allowing him to pull out, but it does seem to work in practice.Chrispy Porker said:
andmole said:
Chrispy Porker said:
Blimey, a Chief Inspector not behind a desk or in a meeting !
ooooh you cynic 
Never.
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