Talivan outside my house

[Spoonman]

Right, here's my quandary.

I own a house near a city centre, on a busy 30mph main road. Traffic reguarly belts past at double that speed. There's a police station nearby, and most of its vehicles usually go by at about 40-ish.

Today, there's a talivan parked up outside my house. It's well marked, but there are no speed camera warning signs anywhere nearby. It's also in a normal space next to the kerb, virtually obscured by all the residents' cars.

Naturally, I've got an almost uncontrollable urge to go outside and present the van with several tractor tyres and a large can of unleaded.

But here's why I'm in two minds: I actually think it's a pretty good place to site a camera . And I'm about to put the house on the market – so slower traffic will be much more appealling to families.

But I just can't help being SO ANGRY at seeing it outside my house.

[beano500]

Put up a "For Sale" board, or similar. As everyone is slowing down anyway, put up a stall selling flowers or offering to clean windscreens....


....after all you might as well make some money too!!!!

[elms]

I can see why you 'want' it there but on behalf of all PHers, just go and tell them to fcuk off and solve some burglaries etc. Many Thanks!

[deltaf]

Dunno why youre even IN two minds about it.

[Alan420]

Whatever happens, don't tell anyone you think it's a good thing, there'll be speedbumps next!

BTW, may I recommend, while you're not busy, you drop a kipper in his window? On a day like today the smell should be quiet overpowering...

[Byff]

Shove a potatoe up the exhaust.

[plotloss]

Stick a sign about 100 yds before the van saying 'SPEED CAMERA - 100yds'

Then about 50yds after the van place another sign and a bucket saying 'TIPS'

[gh0st]

are they near your lawn?

have the sudden uncontrollable urge to water it and then "whoops sorry officer, accidently pointed my large hose at you! did I damage anything expensive? "

[rich 36]

spud up the exhaust, those were the days.

[Davel]

Whatever happened to good old urinating or sugar in the fuel tank?

[deltaf]

Davel said:

Whatever happened to good old urinating or sugar in the fuel tank?

Guy we particularly disliked had a van, and old comma van, the real old ones amongst you might remember those, (eh Carzee? ).
Anyway he used to be a right arse, pissing folks off, and he used to collect fuel from a local scrapyard from all the old bangers, and put it in his van.
So i pissed in his half full container.... (hangs head in shame).
Aaaaaaaanyway, bout 2 days later it wouldnt start, so he's in the front of the van pulling the engine cover and takes it off.
Mucho cranking, misfiring and cursing followed.
Me and ikkle bro were hanging on top of the fence watching him and laffing, (as ya do) until he pulled off the fuel feed and started sucking on it.....
Yes, that was a productive day.

(ive grown out of that now )

[gh0st]

deltaf said:

Davel said: Whatever happened to good old urinating or sugar in the fuel tank? Guy we particularly disliked had a van, and old comma van, the real old ones amongst you might remember those, (eh Carzee? ). Anyway he used to be a right arse, pissing folks off, and he used to collect fuel from a local scrapyard from all the old bangers, and put it in his van. So i pissed in his half full container.... (hangs head in shame). Aaaaaaaanyway, bout 2 days later it wouldnt start, so he's in the front of the van pulling the engine cover and takes it off. Mucho cranking, misfiring and cursing followed. Me and ikkle bro were hanging on top of the fence watching him and laffing, (as ya do) until he pulled off the fuel feed and started sucking on it..... Yes, that was a productive day. (ive grown out of that now )

[Spoonman]

Bloody thing had gone before I went out with the camera. Must've sped off.

Next time I'll be out with a full bag of groceries, don't you worry.

[icamm]

deltaf said:

Davel said: Whatever happened to good old urinating or sugar in the fuel tank? Me and ikkle bro were hanging on top of the fence watching him and laffing, (as ya do) until he pulled off the fuel feed and started sucking on it..... Yes, that was a productive day. (ive grown out of that now )

I take it you didn't see what happened after that due to falling off the fence

[gh0st]

This could start a new national sport

"How many vegtables can you stuff up a talivans exhaust before being spotted"

Extra points for roasting the vegetables - Delta Style

Edited to add - extra credit - see how many vegetables you can stuff up the operators exhaust as well... :|

>> Edited by gh0st on Thursday 10th July 18:11

[ronj]

deltaf said:

[quote=Davel]Whatever happened to good old urinating or sugar in the fuel tank?

old comma van,
---------------------------------------
Were they the same as the same as the old Commer van?

[cazzo]

elms said:

I can see why you 'want' it there but on behalf of all PHers, just go and tell them to fcuk off and solve some burglaries etc. Many Thanks!