There was an old lady who swallowed a fly...

[ukbob]

There was a PHer who swallowed a flywheel.
I dunno why he swallowed that flywheel,
Perhaps he'll die.

(I'll forgive those who elect not to contribute to the evolution of the nursery rhyme)

[tvrgit]

There was a PHer who swallowed a crank
all balanced and polished and cleaned of all mank
he swallowed the crank to fit on the flywheel
i don't know why he swallowed the flywheel
do you think he'll die?

[KentishS2]

tvrgit said:

There was a PHer who swallowed a crank all balanced and polished and cleaned of all mank he swallowed the crank to fit on the flywheel i don't know why he swallowed the flywheel do you think he'll die?

There was a PH'er as mad as a sack of spanners, he'd respond to any old posting by clicking on the banners.

He was a nice chap but I think he lost the plot, probably caused by smoking too much pot.

He finally flipped one day and ate his own gear knob, I look back with fondness at my old mate ....UKBob!



Edited for a wink ....WINK I said!

>> Edited by KentishS2 on Wednesday 10th November 09:01

[ukbob]

the both of you

[tvrgit]

There was a PHer who swallowed a piston
we all tried to warn him but would ukbob listen
He swallowed the piston to fit on the rod
he'd balanced it first the perfectionist sod
He swallowed the rod to fit on the crank
all balanced and polished and cleaned of all mank
he swallowed the crank to fit on the flywheel
i don't know why he swallowed the flywheel
do you think he'll die?

Sorry, it's been a quiet day here...

[ukbob]

tvrgit said:

There was a PHer who swallowed a piston we all tried to warn him but would ukbob listen He swallowed the piston to fit on the rod he'd balanced it first the perfectionist sod He swallowed the rod to fit on the crank all balanced and polished and cleaned of all mank he swallowed the crank to fit on the flywheel i don't know why he swallowed the flywheel do you think he'll die? Sorry, it's been a quiet day here...

[pretending I didnt start the thread] You nutter!

[tvrgit]

There was a PHer who swallowed some gears
with a nice red chianti to dispel his fears
He swallowed the gears to fit on the block
a half-ton V8 so his guts got a shock
He swallowed the block to fit round the piston
we all tried to warn him but would ukbob listen
He swallowed the piston to fit on the rod
he'd balanced it first the perfectionist sod
He swallowed the rod to fit on the crank
all balanced and polished and cleaned of all mank
he swallowed the crank to fit on the flywheel
i don't know why he swallowed the flywheel
do you think he'll die?

(christ somebody else have a shot, please...)

[WildfireS3]

tvrgit is a poet
and we didn't even know it!!

So brighten my day with a verse, stanza or sonnet
And take my mind off the cement on my bonnet.



(Got cement dust all over the S by so idiot trucker!!)

[ukbob]

There was a PHer who swallowed a transmition tunnel
he'd greased his insides - used his mouth as a funnel
He swallowed the tunnel to fit round the gears
with a nice red chianti to dispel his fears
He swallowed the gears to fit on the block
a half-ton V8 so his guts got a shock
He swallowed the block to fit round the piston
we all tried to warn him but would ukbob listen
He swallowed the piston to fit on the rod
he'd balanced it first the perfectionist sod
He swallowed the rod to fit on the crank
all balanced and polished and cleaned of all mank
he swallowed the crank to fit on the flywheel
i don't know why he swallowed the flywheel
do you think he'll die?

[z_chromozone]

There was a PHer who swallowed a diff, with vibratek mountings to keep the back stiff.

He swallowed the diff connected via the clutch with double release plate cos his torque was so much.

He swallowed the clutch to stick in the tunnel which was a nice fit when lubed up with his funnel.

He swallowed the tunnel to fit round the gears
with a nice red chianti to dispel his fears
He swallowed the gears to fit on the block
a half-ton V8 so his guts got a shock
He swallowed the block to fit round the piston
we all tried to warn him but would ukbob listen
He swallowed the piston to fit on the rod
he'd balanced it first the perfectionist sod
He swallowed the rod to fit on the crank
all balanced and polished and cleaned of all mank
he swallowed the crank to fit on the flywheel
i don't know why he swallowed the flywheel
do you think he'll die?



I had to have a go,

Z

[tvrgit]

There was a PHer who swallowed a body
all painted and polished so it didn't look shoddy
he swallowed the body to put on the chassis
all rustproofed and shiny and looking so classy
he swallowed the chassis to bolt on the diff
with vibratek mountings to keep the back stiff.
He swallowed the diff connected via the clutch
with double release plate cos his torque was so much.
He swallowed the clutch to stick in the tunnel
which was a nice fit when lubed up with his funnel.
He swallowed the tunnel to fit round the gears
with a nice red chianti to dispel his fears
He swallowed the gears to fit on the block
a half-ton V8 so his guts got a shock
He swallowed the block to fit round the piston
we all tried to warn him but would ukbob listen
He swallowed the piston to fit on the rod
he'd balanced it first the perfectionist sod
He swallowed the rod to fit on the crank
all balanced and polished and cleaned of all mank
he swallowed the crank to fit on the flywheel
i don't know why he swallowed the flywheel
do you think he'll die?

[tvrgit]

There was a young chavster who swallowed a Corsa
He's dead, of Corsa!

[deeen]

There was a PHer who swallowed a dealer
Complete with mechanics and memos from Wheeler
He swallowed the dealer to maintain the body
all painted and polished so it didn't look shoddy
he swallowed the body to put on the chassis
all rustproofed and shiny and looking so classy
he swallowed the chassis to bolt on the diff
with vibratek mountings to keep the back stiff.
He swallowed the diff connected via the clutch
with double release plate cos his torque was so much.
He swallowed the clutch to stick in the tunnel
which was a nice fit when lubed up with his funnel.
He swallowed the tunnel to fit round the gears
with a nice red chianti to dispel his fears
He swallowed the gears to fit on the block
a half-ton V8 so his guts got a shock
He swallowed the block to fit round the piston
we all tried to warn him but would ukbob listen
He swallowed the piston to fit on the rod
he'd balanced it first the perfectionist sod
He swallowed the rod to fit on the crank
all balanced and polished and cleaned of all mank
he swallowed the crank to fit on the flywheel
i don't know why he swallowed the flywheel
do you think he'll die?

[tvrgit]

There was a PHer who swallowed a brochure
that promised a car both reliable and kosher
He swallowed the brochure in the hand of the dealer
Complete with mechanics and memos from Wheeler
He swallowed the dealer to maintain the body
all painted and polished so it didn't look shoddy
he swallowed the body to put on the chassis
all rustproofed and shiny and looking so classy
he swallowed the chassis to bolt on the diff
with vibratek mountings to keep the back stiff.
He swallowed the diff connected via the clutch
with double release plate cos his torque was so much.
He swallowed the clutch to stick in the tunnel
which was a nice fit when lubed up with his funnel.
He swallowed the tunnel to fit round the gears
with a nice red chianti to dispel his fears
He swallowed the gears to fit on the block
a half-ton V8 so his guts got a shock
He swallowed the block to fit round the piston
we all tried to warn him but would ukbob listen
He swallowed the piston to fit on the rod
he'd balanced it first the perfectionist sod
He swallowed the rod to fit on the crank
all balanced and polished and cleaned of all mank
he swallowed the crank to fit on the flywheel
i don't know why he swallowed the flywheel
do you think he'll die?[/quote]

[Hoover33]

Bloomin hell !!!!!!!!! You lot definantly have cracked and got too much time on your hands :jealous:

[deeen]

There was a PHer who swallowed some money
It was big, it was clever and boy, was it funny
He swallowed the money to use with the brochure
that promised a car both reliable and kosher
He swallowed the brochure in the hand of the dealer
Complete with mechanics and memos from Wheeler
He swallowed the dealer to maintain the body
all painted and polished so it didn't look shoddy
he swallowed the body to put on the chassis
all rustproofed and shiny and looking so classy
he swallowed the chassis to bolt on the diff
with vibratek mountings to keep the back stiff.
He swallowed the diff connected via the clutch
with double release plate cos his torque was so much.
He swallowed the clutch to stick in the tunnel
which was a nice fit when lubed up with his funnel.
He swallowed the tunnel to fit round the gears
with a nice red chianti to dispel his fears
He swallowed the gears to fit on the block
a half-ton V8 so his guts got a shock
He swallowed the block to fit round the piston
we all tried to warn him but would ukbob listen
He swallowed the piston to fit on the rod
he'd balanced it first the perfectionist sod
He swallowed the rod to fit on the crank
all balanced and polished and cleaned of all mank
he swallowed the crank to fit on the flywheel
i don't know why he swallowed the flywheel
do you think he'll die?

[UKBoB]

After much deliberation I submitted to sprint,
Phonetically an abboration, do you think it'll print?
Praps it'll fly

[joospeed]

fanbleedingtastic men! and not a knob gag in sight .. try getting that out of general gassing. proof that S owners are the mostest educatedsest on PH.

[bridgdav]

joospeed said:

proof that S owners are the mostest educatedsest on PH.

BOLLOX

[shmern]

Brightened my morning guys, Very funny

Shmern