Bestman Speeches...hints an tips
Discussion
WarChild007 said:
Has anyone got any good one liners or jokes suitable for all ages?
I'm bestman at a wedding in a few weeks and am trying to make it entertaining...public speaking isnt really my forte.
Thanks!
Look up the meaning of names and best man, I'm bestman at a wedding in a few weeks and am trying to make it entertaining...public speaking isnt really my forte.
Thanks!
Ask what his mum honestly thought of you the fist time she saw you , and the bride see if thats funny, thought they have to be brutally honest
Avoid ex girlfriends or surrounding topics
Comment on what happened when the first met, did he dump you and the lads for "here"
Im writing mine for may next year...
dave
Sods Law said:
WarChild007 said:
Has anyone got any good one liners or jokes suitable for all ages?
I'm bestman at a wedding in a few weeks and am trying to make it entertaining...public speaking isnt really my forte.
Thanks!
Look up the meaning of names and best man, I'm bestman at a wedding in a few weeks and am trying to make it entertaining...public speaking isnt really my forte.
Thanks!
Ask what his mum honestly thought of you the fist time she saw you , and the bride see if thats funny, thought they have to be brutally honest
Avoid ex girlfriends or surrounding topics
Comment on what happened when the first met, did he dump you and the lads for "here"
Im writing mine for may next year...
dave
kiwifraser said:
Sods Law said:
WarChild007 said:
Has anyone got any good one liners or jokes suitable for all ages?
I'm bestman at a wedding in a few weeks and am trying to make it entertaining...public speaking isnt really my forte.
Thanks!
Look up the meaning of names and best man, I'm bestman at a wedding in a few weeks and am trying to make it entertaining...public speaking isnt really my forte.
Thanks!
Ask what his mum honestly thought of you the fist time she saw you , and the bride see if thats funny, thought they have to be brutally honest
Avoid ex girlfriends or surrounding topics
Comment on what happened when the first met, did he dump you and the lads for "here"
Im writing mine for may next year...
dave
don't start it with "I did a few lines earlier and feel much better for it now!" oh and arranging for the Bib to come and take away the Groom for a past offence went down badly too.!!
(I was a guest at this wedding not the best man!)
Jon
(I was a guest at this wedding not the best man!)
Jon
Edited by BrightYellowTVR on Tuesday 21st July 17:28
Like others have said here, make sure the jokes you tell are 'acceptable' and politically correct 
Here is a speech I gave at my mates wedding, I got away with the jokes because we have all known each other for over 15 years and we get on really well.
Make sure you run the speech by at least one person (preferably someone who is older and wiser) first.
Ladies and Gentleman <taps glass with fork> can I have your attention please?
My name is Kully and Paul has given me (or should I say FORCED upon me) the honour of being his best man today. Now please forgive me if I stutter or get nervous but I’m not very good at speaking in public. So much so that an old boss of mine would tell me to imagine the audience in front of me is naked......<cue silence as I look round the room>......and it's at this point my attention is drawn to the bridesmaids!
I think you will all agree with me that the Bridesmaids have done a wonderful job today in getting Kate ready and......err.....all the other bridesmaids stuff they do! Actually, one of the main roles the bridesmaids must play is to make sure they don’t look better than the bride and I’m sure you will all agree that in this respect they have performed excellently.
So.... we are gathered here today to celebrate the love that Paul and Kate have for each other and to witness them taking their vows (and then afterwards to get drunk and dance all night) and in this great tradition, the marriage ceremony asks that couples take each other for better or for worse. Well, Paul, in finding Kate you really couldn’t have done any better and Kate - you couldn’t have done any worse.
As well as the speech, it would seem that there were three main roles that I had to fulfil as a best man.
The first was to get him there on time by making sure he got a good nights sleep before the wedding. Well, I can assure you he slept like a baby – he wet the bed twice and woke up every hour crying for his mum.
The second was to get him here looking presentable with his face and hair in good order. Unfortunately, God didn’t get this right first time round so what chance did I have?
Finally, I was to ensure that no angry ex-girlfriends showed up to spoil the ceremony. Thankfully this wasn’t a problem as the recent outbreak of foot and mouth saw most of the mad cows either quarantined or shot and burned a couple of years ago.
In following with tradition, the best man should try and make the groom as embarrassed and small as possible though from what Kate tells me, Paul couldn’t get any smaller.
I have known Paul for over 18 years and in all that time I couldn’t have asked for a better friend.....yadda....yadda.....etc...
So now we just have a couple of Telegrams that have arrived…
Dear Paul we could have been so good together I will miss our nights by the pool - lots of love, Michael Barrymore.
Dear Paul, congratulations on getting married, and also on winning our big spender of the month award! Lots of love from the sugar and candy at Angels lap dancing Club.
Here is a speech I gave at my mates wedding, I got away with the jokes because we have all known each other for over 15 years and we get on really well.
Make sure you run the speech by at least one person (preferably someone who is older and wiser) first.
Ladies and Gentleman <taps glass with fork> can I have your attention please?
My name is Kully and Paul has given me (or should I say FORCED upon me) the honour of being his best man today. Now please forgive me if I stutter or get nervous but I’m not very good at speaking in public. So much so that an old boss of mine would tell me to imagine the audience in front of me is naked......<cue silence as I look round the room>......and it's at this point my attention is drawn to the bridesmaids!
I think you will all agree with me that the Bridesmaids have done a wonderful job today in getting Kate ready and......err.....all the other bridesmaids stuff they do! Actually, one of the main roles the bridesmaids must play is to make sure they don’t look better than the bride and I’m sure you will all agree that in this respect they have performed excellently.
So.... we are gathered here today to celebrate the love that Paul and Kate have for each other and to witness them taking their vows (and then afterwards to get drunk and dance all night) and in this great tradition, the marriage ceremony asks that couples take each other for better or for worse. Well, Paul, in finding Kate you really couldn’t have done any better and Kate - you couldn’t have done any worse.
As well as the speech, it would seem that there were three main roles that I had to fulfil as a best man.
The first was to get him there on time by making sure he got a good nights sleep before the wedding. Well, I can assure you he slept like a baby – he wet the bed twice and woke up every hour crying for his mum.
The second was to get him here looking presentable with his face and hair in good order. Unfortunately, God didn’t get this right first time round so what chance did I have?
Finally, I was to ensure that no angry ex-girlfriends showed up to spoil the ceremony. Thankfully this wasn’t a problem as the recent outbreak of foot and mouth saw most of the mad cows either quarantined or shot and burned a couple of years ago.
In following with tradition, the best man should try and make the groom as embarrassed and small as possible though from what Kate tells me, Paul couldn’t get any smaller.
I have known Paul for over 18 years and in all that time I couldn’t have asked for a better friend.....yadda....yadda.....etc...
So now we just have a couple of Telegrams that have arrived…
Dear Paul we could have been so good together I will miss our nights by the pool - lots of love, Michael Barrymore.
Dear Paul, congratulations on getting married, and also on winning our big spender of the month award! Lots of love from the sugar and candy at Angels lap dancing Club.
Also, if he the groom is a little slow and stupid you could use this one....
It would be cruel to describe <groom> as thick but it was clear from a young age he was a slow learner. People used to ask his mother and father what he would be when he left school, the usual answer was "About 35"
It would be cruel to describe <groom> as thick but it was clear from a young age he was a slow learner. People used to ask his mother and father what he would be when he left school, the usual answer was "About 35"
Cheers for the tips and information guys! Some really good stuff there!
I've been reading through a few speeches online and getting ideas. The speeches are before the meal so it gets it out the way and allows the drinking to start earlier (as far as I'm concerned any way!).
I'm actually getting married this Saturday myself so have to prepare for that, then when I get back from honeymoon I'm bestman at this one. Really looking forward to it all but just finding it difficult coming up with ideas.
Thanks again any more suggestions will be gratefully received!!
I've been reading through a few speeches online and getting ideas. The speeches are before the meal so it gets it out the way and allows the drinking to start earlier (as far as I'm concerned any way!).
I'm actually getting married this Saturday myself so have to prepare for that, then when I get back from honeymoon I'm bestman at this one. Really looking forward to it all but just finding it difficult coming up with ideas.
Thanks again any more suggestions will be gratefully received!!
One opening line which stuck in my mind from a wedding many years ago...I have no doubt it was pulled off the internet, but it did make me laugh, and if public speaking is not your thing is quite fitting -
"When <groom> asked me to be his best man i was obviuosly very pleased, but the job of being the best man is a bit being asked to sleep with the queen....Its a fantastic honour to be asked, but nobody really wants to do it...."
"When <groom> asked me to be his best man i was obviuosly very pleased, but the job of being the best man is a bit being asked to sleep with the queen....Its a fantastic honour to be asked, but nobody really wants to do it...."
wiliferus said:
One opening line which stuck in my mind from a wedding many years ago...I have no doubt it was pulled off the internet, but it did make me laugh, and if public speaking is not your thing is quite fitting -
"When <groom> asked me to be his best man i was obviuosly very pleased, but the job of being the best man is a bit being asked to sleep with the queen....Its a fantastic honour to be asked, but nobody really wants to do it...."
lol!!"When <groom> asked me to be his best man i was obviuosly very pleased, but the job of being the best man is a bit being asked to sleep with the queen....Its a fantastic honour to be asked, but nobody really wants to do it...."
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