If your Tiv was a woman...

[srebbe64]

...how would it make love!

[rude girl]

With a man, I hope

[parrot of doom]

Well it would have hairy legs for a start.

[snorky]

I don't know, but it'd be noisy and bloody expensive to visualise her think of Mel B from Bo Selecta !!!

>> Edited by snorky on Thursday 10th March 16:04

[Don]

Tivs are not female - not one of them. So the question is irrelevant.

If your Tiv could make love - I refer to the earlier Jeremy Clarkson thread about Agas...

>> Edited by Don on Thursday 10th March 16:06

[srebbe64]

Well I think Tivs are femail - but have a masculine edge. I reckon they're like "Ripley" from the "Alien" movies:

Hard as nails.
Lovely body.
Attracts men of all ages and backgrounds.
Everyone respects her.
She has a certain "rawness".

[mrmaggit]

All Griffiths are male. As are Wedges and it would appear Tuscans are too.

[rude girl]

mrmaggit said:

it would appear Tuscans are too.

Where do you look?

[srebbe64]

No - still think Tivs are femail:

They breakdown a lot.
Temperamental.
Expensive.
They drive ya nuts.
They're irrational.
They're loud and unpredictable.

[srebbe64]

I could have gone down market and said:

They're difficult to get the top off
and
The buttons are a mystery.

But that would be lowering the tone.

[rude girl]

You don't like women much, do you pet?

[TurboNelly]

srebbe64 said:

...how would it make love!

I refer you to the Clakson quote on previous post:

Jezza said:

An Alfa Romeo will try to woo you with poetry. A TVR will bend you over the Aga, rip off its kilt and give you one right there. A Volkswagen will make you a lovely shepherd’s pie and light a fire to make your evening warm and cosy. Whereas a TVR will come home and bend you over the Aga again. A TVR would nick the lifeboat charity box on the bar, empty it then shove it up your jacksie. A TVR would fight for its life, its honour, its family and, most of all, its pint. Put a TVR on Desert Island Discs and it would take a flamethrower and a selection of hits from Wayne County and the Electric Chairs. Then it would bend Sue Lawley over the mixing desk and make animal love until it broke wind.

[srebbe64]

TurboNelly said:

srebbe64 said: ...how would it make love! I refer you to the Clakson quote on previous post: Jezza said: An Alfa Romeo will try to woo you with poetry. A TVR will bend you over the Aga, rip off its kilt and give you one right there. A Volkswagen will make you a lovely shepherd’s pie and light a fire to make your evening warm and cosy. Whereas a TVR will come home and bend you over the Aga again. A TVR would nick the lifeboat charity box on the bar, empty it then shove it up your jacksie. A TVR would fight for its life, its honour, its family and, most of all, its pint. Put a TVR on Desert Island Discs and it would take a flamethrower and a selection of hits from Wayne County and the Electric Chairs. Then it would bend Sue Lawley over the mixing desk and make animal love until it broke wind.

Blimey - TVR's are male - I stand corrected!

[mrmaggit]

rude girl said:

mrmaggit said: it would appear Tuscans are too. Where do you look?

The Tuscan forum.

[siwes]

Catherine Zeta Jones in lingerie -- gagging for it

and Ive just taken a viagra

[cosmoschick]

srebbe64 said:

No - still think Tivs are male: They breakdown a lot Temperamental Expensive. They drive ya nuts They're irrational. They're loud and unpredictable.

Describes my Trev perfectly although the official term for the above characteristic flaws is "Irritable Male Syndrome".

Oh well, he is pushing on a bit in age. I might have to trade him in for a younger model when he can no longer satisfy me!

[Big Al.]

cosmoschick said:

I might have to trade him in for a younger model when he can no longer satisfy me!

Or a Porche!

[cosmoschick]

Big Al. said:

Or a Porche!

Indeed...I had one tailgating me this evening! I think he wanted to play.

[Big Al.]

cosmoschick said:

I had one tailgating me this evening! I think he wanted to play.

and I can understand why! OH

[2 Smokin Barrels]

Very quickly