Unwanted Attention
Discussion
Just bought a 5l Chimp. I'm amazed at how many reps and teenagers that want to drive 3.5mm off my bumper. Is it me or just normal (as the doctor would say)?
If it is normal, are there any add on devices (James Bond style) that I could fit to the rear of the Chimp to avoid the unwanted attention.
I've just fitted an 'L' plate and am eager to see if it works!
Dav
If it is normal, are there any add on devices (James Bond style) that I could fit to the rear of the Chimp to avoid the unwanted attention.
I've just fitted an 'L' plate and am eager to see if it works!
Dav
I have a theory (yet to be proven, but I'm in dialogue with Dr Hawkin), that GRP becomes magnetic in urban districts when travelling within the legal speed limits. However, when leaving urban areas the molecular structure changes, which is probably some form of bi-polar effect, and the GRP repels metal objects or more specifically maxed mini cars (Corsas and the like and in particular things known as scooby dooby doodoes - which I believe could be dog pooh!). It is also significant that this effect can be grossly exaggerated by the judicious application of pressure to one of the sticky up metal strips found emerging from the floor on the drivers side. If anyone can confirm or has direct experience of this effect it would help enormously with my verbose thesis to be published in the other place (soon).
Yours very sincerely peed-off with little no brain d**kheads trying to get in my boot.
Yours very sincerely peed-off with little no brain d**kheads trying to get in my boot.
saggy said:
I have a theory (yet to be proven, but I'm in dialogue with Dr Hawkin), that GRP becomes magnetic in urban districts when travelling within the legal speed limits. However, when leaving urban areas the molecular structure changes, which is probably some form of bi-polar effect, and the GRP repels metal objects or more specifically maxed mini cars (Corsas and the like and in particular things known as scooby dooby doodoes - which I believe could be dog pooh!). It is also significant that this effect can be grossly exaggerated by the judicious application of pressure to one of the sticky up metal strips found emerging from the floor on the drivers side. If anyone can confirm or has direct experience of this effect it would help enormously with my verbose thesis to be published in the other place (soon).
Yours very sincerely peed-off with little no brain d**kheads trying to get in my boot.
Excellent
saggy said:
I have a theory (yet to be proven, but I'm in dialogue with Dr Hawkin), that GRP becomes magnetic in urban districts when travelling within the legal speed limits. However, when leaving urban areas the molecular structure changes, which is probably some form of bi-polar effect, and the GRP repels metal objects or more specifically maxed mini cars (Corsas and the like and in particular things known as scooby dooby doodoes - which I believe could be dog pooh!). It is also significant that this effect can be grossly exaggerated by the judicious application of pressure to one of the sticky up metal strips found emerging from the floor on the drivers side. If anyone can confirm or has direct experience of this effect it would help enormously with my verbose thesis to be published in the other place (soon).
Yours very sincerely peed-off with little no brain d**kheads trying to get in my boot.
In order to properly understand the theory and complete your thesis you must consider the Cranium (and its contents) of those Humans (i think) in the Mini maxed cars. A popular medical article seems to indicate that Drivers of such underpowered, but over styled cars, have large gaps between the synapsis in the brain. As a result there is poor electrical transmission leading to deminished thinking capacity. When added to the propensity to wear "Chav" caps the heating effect of the cap and the poor electrical circulation leads to a rarely examined syndrome. Its is know as CDS or "Complete D***head Syndrome".
It is well know that those with CDS, drive poor performance automobiles and style them within an inch Halfords. Such individuals tend to exhibit Crap driving techniques, including the "up the arss" style. There is also the "Loud boom boom music style"
The best known remedy for these pests is a heavy application of pressure to loud pedal............Goodbye CDS!!
>> Edited by millerman on Wednesday 1st June 10:43
Has anyone noticed that when you have the hood down, some vehicles in front seem to have suddenly developed dirty windscreens and try to get the jet of water into your car. Just another hazard of driving a convertible I suppose. Mind you, when you pass them they all seem to have green faces. 
I spent hours cleaning an polishing my Griff one day last summer and then went for a little cruise along Weymouth seafront 
A car in front of me then used his windscreen washers that shot over his car and landed on mine like it was shot out of a water cannon.
Whether he did it on purpose I'll never know, but the annoying thing was, it was a windy day and now my car was covered in sand that had stuck to the water from this blokes car.
A car in front of me then used his windscreen washers that shot over his car and landed on mine like it was shot out of a water cannon.
Whether he did it on purpose I'll never know, but the annoying thing was, it was a windy day and now my car was covered in sand that had stuck to the water from this blokes car.
Sadly I had the D!ckhead attraction button depressed on my Chim last weekend.
Driving down to Devon down the M5. Overtake a slow moving M3 convertible who is doing about 65 -70 ish in the middle lane with a few lads in it.
I pass normally on the outside lane at a few mph faster (no drama as i was nearing the end of a 4.5 hour journey), i leave a big gap before i start to move back into the middle lane, Just as im starting to move into the middle lane the M3 has decided to floor it down the middle lane and pass me on the inside, causing me to have do take avoidance and turn quickly back into the outside lane.
After a few 'polite' hand signals from me i continue only to overtake them doing about 65 again 1 minute later in the middle lane. This time i give a subtle pointer of what i think and they dont repeat the exercise.
Oh and on the way home a couple of days later, again on the M5, i pass a Metro who then decides to race up the inside and cut between me and the car infront on the outside lane..
So cutting to the chase, Nice cars seem to attract complete Tw@ts im afraid!!
Driving down to Devon down the M5. Overtake a slow moving M3 convertible who is doing about 65 -70 ish in the middle lane with a few lads in it.
I pass normally on the outside lane at a few mph faster (no drama as i was nearing the end of a 4.5 hour journey), i leave a big gap before i start to move back into the middle lane, Just as im starting to move into the middle lane the M3 has decided to floor it down the middle lane and pass me on the inside, causing me to have do take avoidance and turn quickly back into the outside lane.
After a few 'polite' hand signals from me i continue only to overtake them doing about 65 again 1 minute later in the middle lane. This time i give a subtle pointer of what i think and they dont repeat the exercise.
Oh and on the way home a couple of days later, again on the M5, i pass a Metro who then decides to race up the inside and cut between me and the car infront on the outside lane..
So cutting to the chase, Nice cars seem to attract complete Tw@ts im afraid!!
afraid so..
Also i think im more sensitive to it in my Chim than in my old Japmobile as id be rather upset if someone pranged it. (to say the least!)
But on a positive note it does get positive attention too. People say its cool and different etc.
Ladies at Work moan that its very loud in the underground carpark but hey, some people eh??
Took one girl for a spin (a friend of mine) and when it was hunting a bit on idle she asked if there was something wrong with it..
See, some people have just got too used to these Jap and German things with no Soul!!
Also i think im more sensitive to it in my Chim than in my old Japmobile as id be rather upset if someone pranged it. (to say the least!)
But on a positive note it does get positive attention too. People say its cool and different etc.
Ladies at Work moan that its very loud in the underground carpark but hey, some people eh??
Took one girl for a spin (a friend of mine) and when it was hunting a bit on idle she asked if there was something wrong with it..
See, some people have just got too used to these Jap and German things with no Soul!!
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