Smolenski to make space rockets
Discussion
Just read on the news that he is now after the BBC !!!!
He will relocate all programme making and production to the north west of the UK.
The corporation will be renamed the Blackpool Broadcasting Corporation and of course Top Gear will either be axed or Clarkson and co will have to swear to "big up" TVR's every sunday.
He will relocate all programme making and production to the north west of the UK.
The corporation will be renamed the Blackpool Broadcasting Corporation and of course Top Gear will either be axed or Clarkson and co will have to swear to "big up" TVR's every sunday.
NS feels that Rockets are not Green enough.
The rockets are to made of Jelly and be powered by Space Dust (the stuff that fizzez on your tongue)
. In his interview he said he expects to produce 500 Rockets a weeK, He expects profits to be very high indeed due to staff wage costs savings made by employing small green men from Jupiter, who are happy to be paid in NS's toe nail cuttings.
The announcement about the new Rockets comes at the same time as he lauches his new Books "How to make your dreams come true - at least in your own mind" and "British car manufacture in to 2000s, a potted history"
Rumours of his appearance on the Celebrity version of "the Apprentice" have been grossly exagerated. But it has been confirmed that he is to go on TV with his own Version of The Apprentice, called The Apprendick in which contestants are require to demonstrate their arrogance and Business Destruction skills.
Allegedly
PRESS UPDATE....
A further development now reveals that Smolenski has enlisted the help of respected engine developer Mr A Melling.
They are to do away with the tried and tested format of chemical propulsion and replace with the new "Graviton" (TM) system.
This gravity based propulsion system will mean that the rockets will arrive at their destination before they've actually lifted off......
More to be announced soon.....
A further development now reveals that Smolenski has enlisted the help of respected engine developer Mr A Melling.
They are to do away with the tried and tested format of chemical propulsion and replace with the new "Graviton" (TM) system.
This gravity based propulsion system will mean that the rockets will arrive at their destination before they've actually lifted off......
More to be announced soon.....
Wow
N S is a busy man.
On hearing that my eldest wanted a go cart & that I had no time to devote to the project, Nicolai & his management team came to the rescue.
The vehicle was produced in a little less than a week with most parts sourced from Mothercare PLC.
There were a few teething problems but my mind was put at rest when I was given assurrances that the reason the body panels fell off was soley because it rained heavily before the Evostick was thoroughly dry and repairs would be covered under the warranty.
N S told me that he was going to officially launch the high pedal power vehicle, called the BOLLoxley TyphoonOID at the Geneva Motor Show.
He expects to produce 5000 units in the first year of production.
Initially this looked very unlikely as the planned production facility on the Polar Ice Cap fell through when the team fired up the baking ovens but production is now back on target as he has signed a short term lease on my shed.
In a statement made today it was conceded that full production would not be reached until the summer when I moved the mower out.
The price for the BOLLoxley in basic trim is a competative £69.31 plus car tax but unfortunately no orders will be accepted before the Motor Show when it is rumoured that the price will rise by £10,000.00 overnight.
N S is a busy man.
On hearing that my eldest wanted a go cart & that I had no time to devote to the project, Nicolai & his management team came to the rescue.
The vehicle was produced in a little less than a week with most parts sourced from Mothercare PLC.
There were a few teething problems but my mind was put at rest when I was given assurrances that the reason the body panels fell off was soley because it rained heavily before the Evostick was thoroughly dry and repairs would be covered under the warranty.
N S told me that he was going to officially launch the high pedal power vehicle, called the BOLLoxley TyphoonOID at the Geneva Motor Show.
He expects to produce 5000 units in the first year of production.
Initially this looked very unlikely as the planned production facility on the Polar Ice Cap fell through when the team fired up the baking ovens but production is now back on target as he has signed a short term lease on my shed.
In a statement made today it was conceded that full production would not be reached until the summer when I moved the mower out.
The price for the BOLLoxley in basic trim is a competative £69.31 plus car tax but unfortunately no orders will be accepted before the Motor Show when it is rumoured that the price will rise by £10,000.00 overnight.
Hormone said:
Wow
N S is a busy man.
On hearing that my eldest wanted a go cart & that I had no time to devote to the project, Nicolai & his management team came to the rescue.
The vehicle was produced in a little less than a week with most parts sourced from Mothercare PLC.
There were a few teething problems but my mind was put at rest when I was given assurrances that the reason the body panels fell off was soley because it rained heavily before the Evostick was thoroughly dry and repairs would be covered under the warranty.
N S told me that he was going to officially launch the high pedal power vehicle, called the BOLLoxley TyphoonOID at the Geneva Motor Show.
He expects to produce 5000 units in the first year of production.
Initially this looked very unlikely as the planned production facility on the Polar Ice Cap fell through when the team fired up the baking ovens but production is now back on target as he has signed a short term lease on my shed.
In a statement made today it was conceded that full production would not be reached until the summer when I moved the mower out.
The price for the BOLLoxley in basic trim is a competative £69.31 plus car tax but unfortunately no orders will be accepted before the Motor Show when it is rumoured that the price will rise by £10,000.00 overnight.
N S is a busy man.
On hearing that my eldest wanted a go cart & that I had no time to devote to the project, Nicolai & his management team came to the rescue.
The vehicle was produced in a little less than a week with most parts sourced from Mothercare PLC.
There were a few teething problems but my mind was put at rest when I was given assurrances that the reason the body panels fell off was soley because it rained heavily before the Evostick was thoroughly dry and repairs would be covered under the warranty.
N S told me that he was going to officially launch the high pedal power vehicle, called the BOLLoxley TyphoonOID at the Geneva Motor Show.
He expects to produce 5000 units in the first year of production.
Initially this looked very unlikely as the planned production facility on the Polar Ice Cap fell through when the team fired up the baking ovens but production is now back on target as he has signed a short term lease on my shed.
In a statement made today it was conceded that full production would not be reached until the summer when I moved the mower out.
The price for the BOLLoxley in basic trim is a competative £69.31 plus car tax but unfortunately no orders will be accepted before the Motor Show when it is rumoured that the price will rise by £10,000.00 overnight.
will you all please stop being so nasty to little NS ,he is only trying to save the planet and you lot just make fun of him ,when hes in charge of europe you wont be laughing.
he said to day that all he wants is world peace and lots of jelly and ice cream and daddy to by him another car to play with as the wheels fell of the last one he pushed up hill and hes got a sore backend now.
ps. if you cant get icecream dream topping will do
he said to day that all he wants is world peace and lots of jelly and ice cream and daddy to by him another car to play with as the wheels fell of the last one he pushed up hill and hes got a sore backend now.
ps. if you cant get icecream dream topping will do
redeye said:
will you all please stop being so nasty to little NS ,he is only trying to save the planet and you lot just make fun of him ,when hes in charge of europe you wont be laughing.
he said to day that all he wants is world peace and lots of jelly and ice cream and daddy to by him another car to play with as the wheels fell of the last one he pushed up hill and hes got a sore backend now.
ps. if you cant get icecream dream topping will do
he said to day that all he wants is world peace and lots of jelly and ice cream and daddy to by him another car to play with as the wheels fell of the last one he pushed up hill and hes got a sore backend now.
ps. if you cant get icecream dream topping will do
Terry
I don't understand why you think I am poking fun at Nikolai (soon to be Knighted for services to the UK Motor Industry) Smolenski.
He has agreed to my publishing a photo of the mark one BOLLoxley ahead of the official launch.
I have also sneaked out from the TVR research & development lab at Lancaster an image of the MK2 Grand Tourisimo 2+2.
So now you know that the future of TVR is in safe hands having found a new niche market.
Edited by Hormone on Thursday 15th March 11:26
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