Clarkson - Today's Sunday Times Article
Discussion
Jeremy Clarkson: Loud, fast and scary — the Tamora is your everyday TVR
SO, TVR then. For the past few months, they have been offering the Chimaera, which is a loud, fast and scary two-seater sports car. And the Tuscan, which is a loud, fast and scary two-seater sports car.
If you were running the company, you’d wake up every morning thinking, “Good, I have the market for loud, fast and scary two-seater sports cars pretty well sewn up. So now I will capitalise on that by introducing a range of TVR leisure wear and a TVR aftershave.” What, I wonder, would TVR aftershave smell of? Martin Johnson perhaps, with a hint of Saturday night vindaloo.
However, you’re not running the company. A man called Peter Wheeler is, and since he gave up smoking 500 full-strength Marlboro a day, he’s been taken by the breeze of insanity and launched the Tamora which — guess what? — is another loud, fast and scary two-seater sports car.
“No, no, no,” said Wheeler’s PR man, Baldrick. “It’s perfectly simple.” And he went on to explain. And it isn’t. The £35,000 Chimaera, apparently, is supposed to be a traditional sports car with a walnut dash and Rover’s big old V8 engine under the bonnet. Then, for £49,000, you have the 190mph Tuscan S which is as hard to handle as heroin.
“I can manage,” you’ll say gamely as you brake late and hard for a corner. And then, “Oh bugger”, as you find that it has no traction control and no antilock brakes. What you’ll say, as you hit the tree and find there are no airbags is hard to spell. But I’ll give it a go: “Gnurgh.”
The new 170mph Tamora, at £36,500, is supposed to sit between the two. Not as laid back as the dopey Chimaera and not as dangerous as the smack you’ll get from a Tuscan. Think of it as ecstasy.
Well, that’s the theory, but in practice, I’m forced to say it feels just like the others. It feels loud, fast and scary. It feels like someone has torn off your arm and is beating you to death with the soggy end.
It’s all to do, I think, with an assault on the senses. When you’re presented with a flower, your eyes tell you that it’s pretty and your nose tells you it smells nice. It is therefore undemanding and that makes it relaxing.
But when you’re presented with a TVR, there’s the smell of burning rubber, the volcanic noise, the feel of a wild animal that simply won’t be tamed, the sight of a hedgerow in hyperdrive and the taste of fear.
I tried, believe me, to work out how it feels compared to a Chimaera or a Tuscan but the brain is basically a computer and when it’s completely overloaded with inputs, the memory stops working. All I know for sure is that it’s staggeringly fast.
But then it would be because consider this: the 3.6 litre engine churns out 350bhp but the car only weighs 1.05 tons. That’s 330bhp per ton, and to put that in perspective, a Porsche 911 turbo offers up just 267bhp per ton. In fact, I can only think of three other cars on the market today which offer such a devastating power-to-weight ratio: the TVR Chimaera; the TVR Tuscan; and that coupé, the TVR Cerbera.
So why buy the new boy? It has by far the least attractive dashboard of the range; mine appeared to have been finished in bin liners. And it has the smallest boot. But my God, it’s pretty. I’d buy one, even if it ran on wood, just for the aesthetic appeal.
It’s particularly spectacular round at the back where there’s a huge diffuser designed to keep the back end on the ground at high speeds. I asked Baldrick whether it was there for show, or whether it really worked. “Oh no, it works,” he said. “We used to test our new cars by driving them down the M55 at 170mph, and if they didn’t take off, we thought they were fine. But we took the Tamora to a wind tunnel. We’re getting really scientific now.”
But they’re not, you know. Science is the art of logic and deciding to make this car was completely illogical. They went ahead, I suspect, because they love cars and because they could. Exactly the same reasons, in fact, why it’s perfectly all right to buy one.
SO, TVR then. For the past few months, they have been offering the Chimaera, which is a loud, fast and scary two-seater sports car. And the Tuscan, which is a loud, fast and scary two-seater sports car.
If you were running the company, you’d wake up every morning thinking, “Good, I have the market for loud, fast and scary two-seater sports cars pretty well sewn up. So now I will capitalise on that by introducing a range of TVR leisure wear and a TVR aftershave.” What, I wonder, would TVR aftershave smell of? Martin Johnson perhaps, with a hint of Saturday night vindaloo.
However, you’re not running the company. A man called Peter Wheeler is, and since he gave up smoking 500 full-strength Marlboro a day, he’s been taken by the breeze of insanity and launched the Tamora which — guess what? — is another loud, fast and scary two-seater sports car.
“No, no, no,” said Wheeler’s PR man, Baldrick. “It’s perfectly simple.” And he went on to explain. And it isn’t. The £35,000 Chimaera, apparently, is supposed to be a traditional sports car with a walnut dash and Rover’s big old V8 engine under the bonnet. Then, for £49,000, you have the 190mph Tuscan S which is as hard to handle as heroin.
“I can manage,” you’ll say gamely as you brake late and hard for a corner. And then, “Oh bugger”, as you find that it has no traction control and no antilock brakes. What you’ll say, as you hit the tree and find there are no airbags is hard to spell. But I’ll give it a go: “Gnurgh.”
The new 170mph Tamora, at £36,500, is supposed to sit between the two. Not as laid back as the dopey Chimaera and not as dangerous as the smack you’ll get from a Tuscan. Think of it as ecstasy.
Well, that’s the theory, but in practice, I’m forced to say it feels just like the others. It feels loud, fast and scary. It feels like someone has torn off your arm and is beating you to death with the soggy end.
It’s all to do, I think, with an assault on the senses. When you’re presented with a flower, your eyes tell you that it’s pretty and your nose tells you it smells nice. It is therefore undemanding and that makes it relaxing.
But when you’re presented with a TVR, there’s the smell of burning rubber, the volcanic noise, the feel of a wild animal that simply won’t be tamed, the sight of a hedgerow in hyperdrive and the taste of fear.
I tried, believe me, to work out how it feels compared to a Chimaera or a Tuscan but the brain is basically a computer and when it’s completely overloaded with inputs, the memory stops working. All I know for sure is that it’s staggeringly fast.
But then it would be because consider this: the 3.6 litre engine churns out 350bhp but the car only weighs 1.05 tons. That’s 330bhp per ton, and to put that in perspective, a Porsche 911 turbo offers up just 267bhp per ton. In fact, I can only think of three other cars on the market today which offer such a devastating power-to-weight ratio: the TVR Chimaera; the TVR Tuscan; and that coupé, the TVR Cerbera.
So why buy the new boy? It has by far the least attractive dashboard of the range; mine appeared to have been finished in bin liners. And it has the smallest boot. But my God, it’s pretty. I’d buy one, even if it ran on wood, just for the aesthetic appeal.
It’s particularly spectacular round at the back where there’s a huge diffuser designed to keep the back end on the ground at high speeds. I asked Baldrick whether it was there for show, or whether it really worked. “Oh no, it works,” he said. “We used to test our new cars by driving them down the M55 at 170mph, and if they didn’t take off, we thought they were fine. But we took the Tamora to a wind tunnel. We’re getting really scientific now.”
But they’re not, you know. Science is the art of logic and deciding to make this car was completely illogical. They went ahead, I suspect, because they love cars and because they could. Exactly the same reasons, in fact, why it’s perfectly all right to buy one.
Ooooh i like this bit "But then it would be because consider this: the 3.6 litre engine churns out 350bhp but the car only weighs 1.05 tons. That’s 330bhp per ton, and to put that in perspective, a Porsche 911 turbo offers up just 267bhp per ton. In fact, I can only think of three other cars on the market today which offer such a devastating power-to-weight ratio: the TVR Chimaera; the TVR Tuscan; and that coupé, the TVR Cerbera."
Well done Jeremy glad to see youve found a car that your not capable of piloting again.
Well done Jeremy glad to see youve found a car that your not capable of piloting again.
Those figures are impressive, although other things come into play when trying to accelerate fast. Cars with massive grip (4wd) and well designed suspension will have an advantage here in laying that power down on the road. That's why the 911 turbo you mentioned will trounce the tiv's in real life, regardless of paper stats. Check out the road tests around. A couple of particuarly good magazines devoted to this were issued about 6ish months ago: Supercars, and Worlds Fastest Cars. Don't want to start a 'my dad's bigger than yours' thread (again!), just saying paper stats don't always mean a great deal in the real world.
Read the article this morning and very pleased that it wasn't another 'lets bash TVR, because we can one'.
Slightly surprised by your comments roadrunner, surely its not the average driver performance figures we're talking about here but the potential that if you improve your game as a driver then the Tamora et al by virtue of their superior power to weight ratios will out perform in the 'right hands'.
You can have as many electric gizmos as you want but there is a market for those that want 'pure driving pleasure' and that is the market TVR is in. The other market with all the electronic driver aids is slightly different one, being there to cater for those that want a reliable (allegedly), quick, easy to drive car straight out of the box, a step up from the company 318 when the annual bonus needs blowing.
Bottom line it's horses for courses and the fact that power, lets not forget the noise, is a very good selling point.
The advantage given to 4x4 by being able to get the power down quickly does help compensate for an inferior ratio, as does the electronic aids on any panzer wagon, but if I want to have my right foot electronically overridden I'll just borrow the kids PS3 and have a go at GT3
Harry
Slightly surprised by your comments roadrunner, surely its not the average driver performance figures we're talking about here but the potential that if you improve your game as a driver then the Tamora et al by virtue of their superior power to weight ratios will out perform in the 'right hands'.
You can have as many electric gizmos as you want but there is a market for those that want 'pure driving pleasure' and that is the market TVR is in. The other market with all the electronic driver aids is slightly different one, being there to cater for those that want a reliable (allegedly), quick, easy to drive car straight out of the box, a step up from the company 318 when the annual bonus needs blowing.
Bottom line it's horses for courses and the fact that power, lets not forget the noise, is a very good selling point.
The advantage given to 4x4 by being able to get the power down quickly does help compensate for an inferior ratio, as does the electronic aids on any panzer wagon, but if I want to have my right foot electronically overridden I'll just borrow the kids PS3 and have a go at GT3
Harry
Harry W, all true, I agree. I just wanted to illustrate that in less than perfect conditions, with a less than perfect driver, I would place my money on the techowagen winning a straight out blat.
Obviously it's horses for courses. I would have much respect for a tiv driver that could 'beat' a porker t4. Who races on the public roads anyway?
Obviously it's horses for courses. I would have much respect for a tiv driver that could 'beat' a porker t4. Who races on the public roads anyway?
quote:
Harry W, all true, I agree. I just wanted to illustrate that in less than perfect conditions, with aless than perfect driver, I would place my money on the techowagen winning a straight out blat.
Obviously it's horses for courses. I would have much respect for a Tiv driver that could 'beat' a porker t4. Who races on the public roads anyway?
Agree with most of that, re-read my post and it was a bit of a "rant", even one of my teenagers read the bit about PS3/GT3 and pointed out that "dad it's a PS2
you fool"! I was trying to make the point it was refreshing to read a completely positive article about Tivs in the main stream press for once, I then came across your posting putting the feet back on the ground so to speak, and went into auto
There are some very good Tiv drivers out there, I wouldn't count myself amongst them though.
Horses for courses definitely, some even prefer donkeys to horse's
but I would never condone 'pushing on' in any car on her majesties highway, particularly a tail happy untamed beast Harry
quote:
just saying paper stats don't always mean a great deal in the real world.
Roadrunner, in the real world, the Tamora puts it's power down with considerable ease. I can get mine to momentarily spin it's wheels when changing up into each of the first 3 gears, if that makes sense. But it's only momentary, despite dumping the clutch on change up - at least, in the dry. The Tamora is insanely fast, and not a sensible car, but who wants a sensible car to have 330bhp/ton?
quote:
Obviously it's horses for courses. I would have much respect for a tiv driver that could 'beat' a porker t4. Who races on the public roads anyway?
Please send respect to the TVR sprinters then...
In the sprint standard classes, Robin Harris and Den Lyon have been setting the pace and beating the might of the German technowagons and have taken the majority of the championships awards in this class over the last few years.
In my class where I also have to content with Japanese Banzai 4 wheel drives, the slightly modified 520 has also been holding its own with one exception and that is a seriously tweeked EVO VI WRC which is driven by one very capable driver. Howvere I am swapping times with him this year which is a revelation compared to not even seeing his dust last year.
The long and short of it is that TVRs are still the cars to beat in the production sprint classes.
Steve
We may not have been discussing price, but it is an issue. I reckon TVR gives you the best bang for buck of any car, as well as all the other things we all know and love. Nearly every car that is it's equal or better is a lot more money, I know a Lamborghini that makes me feel like I'm going backwards, but how much more did it cost?
Of course a RUF would beat a TVR, in fact an average driver in a RUF would beat a very good driver in a TVR - in a straight line (I don't think there are many people around who could do 0-60 in 3.9 in a Cerb)- but have you seen how much they cost ?
Having said that, it would be nice to think that one day TVR could make a car in a higher price bracket that had a better chassis etc.... but then it wouldn't be a TVR anymore, so we wouldn't want one..... maybe.
Of course a RUF would beat a TVR, in fact an average driver in a RUF would beat a very good driver in a TVR - in a straight line (I don't think there are many people around who could do 0-60 in 3.9 in a Cerb)- but have you seen how much they cost ?
Having said that, it would be nice to think that one day TVR could make a car in a higher price bracket that had a better chassis etc.... but then it wouldn't be a TVR anymore, so we wouldn't want one..... maybe.
Gassing Station | General TVR Stuff & Gossip | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff