The PH Guide to Advanced Car Stereotyping
Discussion
Inspired by a recent thread about a cheap Rover 75 which brought forth the usual barrage of stereotyping comments, ill-informed or otherwise, I was wondering: what do PH-ers think of when owners of a particular brand are discussed?
The PH Guide to Advanced Car Stereotyping could be a valuable, light-hearted online resource for anyone looking to get into car stereotyping at a higher level. The more accurate the description of car stereotyping, the more successful it will be, so please feel free to build on the below. A few examples follow, to get us started.
As the inspiration for the thread, Rover should go first.
Rovers were bought new by people who valued comfort and familiarity above most other things. Despite the fact that many of them (200 / 400 Series, 75) drove rather well, most buyers were less concerned by dynamic abilities than they were by whether the grandchildren would be comfortable in the back. The demise of Rover was a national disgrace but it was OK, because most buyers considered them to be their last new car anyway.
BMW
The default choice for people who seem to be permanently angry about something. Image is everything, which is why BMW buyers return zombie-like to their dealers every few years and buy whatever’s on offer, even tolerating the Bangle era with resolve. They’ll bang on about handling balance and build quality without acknowledging that these things are actually available elsewhere too. An old motor trade colleague used to be adamant that people bought a BMW because it was easier to spell than “Mercedes-Benz”.
SAAB
SAABs (at least, older ones) were bought by rollneck-wearing architect types with beards. They valued the reliability, comfort and performance as much as the fact they looked like one of their fellow architects had designed them using a set square and a ruler. SAAB owners would turn left when everyone else turned right, then wait for the turbo lag to catch up and off they’d go.
Full disclosure: former multiple SAAB owner here. I do not own a rollneck or have a beard.
Jaguar
Everyone knows that if you own a Jaguar, you voted in favour of Brexit. Buyers bought them because they were British. Sort of. In a sense. This and the Brexit thing confirm just how ill-informed some people are. Since the demise of TVR, common consensus (and ChatGPT) suggests that the largest wholly British-owned car manufacturer is Morgan, who build one car every six years and sell it to someone called Keith.
Vauxhall
People who need a car. Any car. Just a car. See also Kia. And Nissan.
Generic very small-scale British specialist car manufacturers
People who have no time for such fripperies as a roof or side windows, who chase every gramme of weight-saving through extensive use of carbon fibre and jettison everything for a few tenths per lap, but insist the car still has a radio with decent Bluetooth connectivity and Apple CarPlay.
Classics
OK, "Classics" is a bit of a broad term, open to interpretation, but this area is generally populated by older folk who steadfastly believe that things ain't what they used to be, life went downhill after the Beeching Report was published and any old car can be fixed with string and / or a hammer - which is in fact, often true. More full disclosure: I've owned and driven many classics and have, genuinely, sometimes fixed them with string and / or a hammer. I was born post-Beeching, however
So, over to you. Let's see if we can bring some professionalism and consistency to car stereotyping. International views welcome - it would be great to understand how overseas readers engage in car stereotyping.
These are my views. No offence is intended.
The PH Guide to Advanced Car Stereotyping could be a valuable, light-hearted online resource for anyone looking to get into car stereotyping at a higher level. The more accurate the description of car stereotyping, the more successful it will be, so please feel free to build on the below. A few examples follow, to get us started.
As the inspiration for the thread, Rover should go first.
Rovers were bought new by people who valued comfort and familiarity above most other things. Despite the fact that many of them (200 / 400 Series, 75) drove rather well, most buyers were less concerned by dynamic abilities than they were by whether the grandchildren would be comfortable in the back. The demise of Rover was a national disgrace but it was OK, because most buyers considered them to be their last new car anyway.
BMW
The default choice for people who seem to be permanently angry about something. Image is everything, which is why BMW buyers return zombie-like to their dealers every few years and buy whatever’s on offer, even tolerating the Bangle era with resolve. They’ll bang on about handling balance and build quality without acknowledging that these things are actually available elsewhere too. An old motor trade colleague used to be adamant that people bought a BMW because it was easier to spell than “Mercedes-Benz”.
SAAB
SAABs (at least, older ones) were bought by rollneck-wearing architect types with beards. They valued the reliability, comfort and performance as much as the fact they looked like one of their fellow architects had designed them using a set square and a ruler. SAAB owners would turn left when everyone else turned right, then wait for the turbo lag to catch up and off they’d go.
Full disclosure: former multiple SAAB owner here. I do not own a rollneck or have a beard.
Jaguar
Everyone knows that if you own a Jaguar, you voted in favour of Brexit. Buyers bought them because they were British. Sort of. In a sense. This and the Brexit thing confirm just how ill-informed some people are. Since the demise of TVR, common consensus (and ChatGPT) suggests that the largest wholly British-owned car manufacturer is Morgan, who build one car every six years and sell it to someone called Keith.
Vauxhall
People who need a car. Any car. Just a car. See also Kia. And Nissan.
Generic very small-scale British specialist car manufacturers
People who have no time for such fripperies as a roof or side windows, who chase every gramme of weight-saving through extensive use of carbon fibre and jettison everything for a few tenths per lap, but insist the car still has a radio with decent Bluetooth connectivity and Apple CarPlay.
Classics
OK, "Classics" is a bit of a broad term, open to interpretation, but this area is generally populated by older folk who steadfastly believe that things ain't what they used to be, life went downhill after the Beeching Report was published and any old car can be fixed with string and / or a hammer - which is in fact, often true. More full disclosure: I've owned and driven many classics and have, genuinely, sometimes fixed them with string and / or a hammer. I was born post-Beeching, however
So, over to you. Let's see if we can bring some professionalism and consistency to car stereotyping. International views welcome - it would be great to understand how overseas readers engage in car stereotyping.
These are my views. No offence is intended.
Ford
Bought by people who's family have been buying Fords since the 1970's. Their Dad had a Cortina, then an Escort, then a Sierra. Never let them down once, except for the 4 times it broke down and then rusted to pieces after 7 years. For the last 15 years they've been trading in their Fiesta for a new one just before the MOT is due so they don't have to worry about any nasty surprises. Dad still has his Mk1 Mondeo ghia, less than 10k miles on the clock and polished every Sunday, just for the weekly trip to the garden centre.
Fiat
Specifically the Fiat 500. Bought exclusively by women under 30 with big glasses. I can only assume they mount their phone over the speedo as they are always oblivious to the speed they're doing, or what the limit is. But you can almost guarantee it will be either inappropriately fast or slow.
MG
For people who complain about the decline in British industry. Voted leave. Complains about migrants. Union Jack on their facebook profile. Will use the words "I'm not a racist, but..." in conversation.
Ssangyong
For people registered as sight impaired.
Bought by people who's family have been buying Fords since the 1970's. Their Dad had a Cortina, then an Escort, then a Sierra. Never let them down once, except for the 4 times it broke down and then rusted to pieces after 7 years. For the last 15 years they've been trading in their Fiesta for a new one just before the MOT is due so they don't have to worry about any nasty surprises. Dad still has his Mk1 Mondeo ghia, less than 10k miles on the clock and polished every Sunday, just for the weekly trip to the garden centre.
Fiat
Specifically the Fiat 500. Bought exclusively by women under 30 with big glasses. I can only assume they mount their phone over the speedo as they are always oblivious to the speed they're doing, or what the limit is. But you can almost guarantee it will be either inappropriately fast or slow.
MG
For people who complain about the decline in British industry. Voted leave. Complains about migrants. Union Jack on their facebook profile. Will use the words "I'm not a racist, but..." in conversation.
Ssangyong
For people registered as sight impaired.
Super Sonic said:
Already covered
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Well we'll do it again, its fun...https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Subaru
The Impreza WRX and any other rally derivation thereof have an immobiliser trigger that activates once the car is more than 6 years old. The car can then only be opened and started by someone who is 40 but dresses like a 25 year old, and who must also own a blue Subaru branded rally jacket and bobble hat which must be worn at all times. The owner must also own his own (note - Subaru Impreza's are not permitted to be owned by women) very expensive Arai race helmet, Stand 21 gloves and rally boots - and he must always bring them to the office after work barb-b-que and karting social event where he must comment on track temperature and bemoan the "too under-steery" set up of the kart as 61 year old Jackie from HR smokes him by 15 lengths in the final.
The Impreza WRX and any other rally derivation thereof have an immobiliser trigger that activates once the car is more than 6 years old. The car can then only be opened and started by someone who is 40 but dresses like a 25 year old, and who must also own a blue Subaru branded rally jacket and bobble hat which must be worn at all times. The owner must also own his own (note - Subaru Impreza's are not permitted to be owned by women) very expensive Arai race helmet, Stand 21 gloves and rally boots - and he must always bring them to the office after work barb-b-que and karting social event where he must comment on track temperature and bemoan the "too under-steery" set up of the kart as 61 year old Jackie from HR smokes him by 15 lengths in the final.
Dapster said:
Subaru
The Impreza WRX and any other rally derivation thereof have an immobiliser trigger that activates once the car is more than 6 years old. The car can then only be opened and started by someone who is 40 but dresses like a 25 year old, and who must also own a blue Subaru branded rally jacket and bobble hat which must be worn at all times. The owner must also own his own (note - Subaru Impreza's are not permitted to be owned by women) very expensive Arai race helmet, Stand 21 gloves and rally boots - and he must always bring them to the office after work barb-b-que and karting social event where he must comment on track temperature and bemoan the "too under-steery" set up of the kart as 61 year old Jackie from HR smokes him by 15 lengths in the final.
The Impreza WRX and any other rally derivation thereof have an immobiliser trigger that activates once the car is more than 6 years old. The car can then only be opened and started by someone who is 40 but dresses like a 25 year old, and who must also own a blue Subaru branded rally jacket and bobble hat which must be worn at all times. The owner must also own his own (note - Subaru Impreza's are not permitted to be owned by women) very expensive Arai race helmet, Stand 21 gloves and rally boots - and he must always bring them to the office after work barb-b-que and karting social event where he must comment on track temperature and bemoan the "too under-steery" set up of the kart as 61 year old Jackie from HR smokes him by 15 lengths in the final.
You forgot to mention the thing that happened to all Imprezas when they left the showroom: the exhaust fell off and was replaced by one that made the car three times as loud as it was.
Anything classed as remotely sporty from BL (exception sprites/midgets), they all talk in adenoidal tones; heaven forbid you use the wrong spriget washer on the retaining strap for the washer bottle, you may as well have violated one of their loved ones, you’ll likely be in for an afternoon of serious remonstrations.
Fords, these buggers put the BL crowd to shame, wrong washer you say, “The angle of front turret is 6º out, that’s not a genuine AVO shell.” They all talk a strange dialect, completely devoid of (‘t’s ‘d’s, and ‘g’s’) and hail from towns like Basinstoke, are partial to a pint of lar-ger and look lustfully upon fat birds in tight clothing.
Vauxhall/Opel, they tend to be somewhat subdued, since some twit on the box, declared their car of choice, about as exciting as “sucking rice pudding through a straw.” Least likely to be full of Jackson Pollock’s, amiable and easy to get along with. Don’t tell anyone, but their cars are quickest when they are, I think the term is ‘Well fettled’, Jimmy McRae’s was.”
Rovers, ex bank managers/union reps, usually members of the bowling club. Pretends Mabel’s opinion matters, couldn’t give a monkey’s; enjoy holidaying with like mined people in Espania. “Pedro does a reet good ‘Sunday Roast’ for a foreigner.
Jaguars, these fall into two categories, Sporting Jag and Pub Jag. Sporting Jag, will regale their exploits to all who will listen, about negotiating the ‘Swiss Furka Pass’ on the door handles of their Jag, sweating profusely into their string backed driving gloves. Pub Jag, will use every opportunity to slip in the word ‘Jag’ into any sentence, evade not avoid, their round because the Jag needs a new set of ‘Ling Longs’ all while telling you, “The XJ 350D returns 46.7 mpg on a run”.
Morgan’s, you really have to be one of us to understand us, childless but love cats. Never make the news, but that’s a good thing.
Lotus, “FFS I’ve heard it”, while secretly praying it gets them home.
TVR, “Did you know every car has a secret cheeky inscription, somewhere” Translation, those lazy ungrateful work shy Northern monkeys, never knew they had it so good!
Fords, these buggers put the BL crowd to shame, wrong washer you say, “The angle of front turret is 6º out, that’s not a genuine AVO shell.” They all talk a strange dialect, completely devoid of (‘t’s ‘d’s, and ‘g’s’) and hail from towns like Basinstoke, are partial to a pint of lar-ger and look lustfully upon fat birds in tight clothing.
Vauxhall/Opel, they tend to be somewhat subdued, since some twit on the box, declared their car of choice, about as exciting as “sucking rice pudding through a straw.” Least likely to be full of Jackson Pollock’s, amiable and easy to get along with. Don’t tell anyone, but their cars are quickest when they are, I think the term is ‘Well fettled’, Jimmy McRae’s was.”
Rovers, ex bank managers/union reps, usually members of the bowling club. Pretends Mabel’s opinion matters, couldn’t give a monkey’s; enjoy holidaying with like mined people in Espania. “Pedro does a reet good ‘Sunday Roast’ for a foreigner.
Jaguars, these fall into two categories, Sporting Jag and Pub Jag. Sporting Jag, will regale their exploits to all who will listen, about negotiating the ‘Swiss Furka Pass’ on the door handles of their Jag, sweating profusely into their string backed driving gloves. Pub Jag, will use every opportunity to slip in the word ‘Jag’ into any sentence, evade not avoid, their round because the Jag needs a new set of ‘Ling Longs’ all while telling you, “The XJ 350D returns 46.7 mpg on a run”.
Morgan’s, you really have to be one of us to understand us, childless but love cats. Never make the news, but that’s a good thing.
Lotus, “FFS I’ve heard it”, while secretly praying it gets them home.
TVR, “Did you know every car has a secret cheeky inscription, somewhere” Translation, those lazy ungrateful work shy Northern monkeys, never knew they had it so good!
daqinggregg said:
Fords, these buggers put the BL crowd to shame, wrong washer you say, “The angle of front turret is 6º out, that’s not a genuine AVO shell.” They all talk a strange dialect, completely devoid of (‘t’s ‘d’s, and ‘g’s’) and hail from towns like Basinstoke, are partial to a pint of lar-ger and look lustfully upon fat birds in tight clothing.
A definite thread that I ran into when my job involved going around classic car shows and talking to owners and club members was that a decent portion of the Ford fans were fans of Fords and no other cars whatsoever. You had your BL nerds, your Rootes fanciers, your Vauxhall addicts, your Japanese worshipers, your Jaguar bores, your Mini diehards, your MG octagon-worshipers and so on, but they'd always at least be aware of the existence of other cars. You could talk to someone with, say, a Hillman Avenger about how it compared to a Viva or a Cortina and they'd be able to have some insight. But you got Ford fans who, almost aggressively, refused to know anything about anything not graced by a Blue Oval. They could talk in exhaustive detail about the model range of the Escort or how to spot a Belgian-built Sierra vs. a Dagenham-built one, but knew or cared precisely diddly squat about any other car. They were literally Ford enthusiasts, not car enthusiasts who were into Fords.
I must be good at spelling then!
I had 3 Mercedes - Benz cars before I bought my first BMW, but I had 7 Fords before any of those.
I've just always preferred RWD cars, ideally with manual gearboxes, so I'm on my 7th and 8th BMW. Being a grumpy old man is incidental!
But the reference to Bangle tends to take things back 20 years or so!
I had 3 Mercedes - Benz cars before I bought my first BMW, but I had 7 Fords before any of those.
I've just always preferred RWD cars, ideally with manual gearboxes, so I'm on my 7th and 8th BMW. Being a grumpy old man is incidental!
But the reference to Bangle tends to take things back 20 years or so!
Desiderata said:
...You do know that most of the cars mentioned ( and nearly all of these opinions) have been extinct since last century.
Mr Tidy said:
...the reference to Bangle tends to take things back 20 years or so!
Do you think it's a coincidence that I posted this in the "Classic Cars & Yesterday's Heroes" forum?You can also stereotype the drivers of models within a brand. BMW is easiest.
1 series. Junior drug dealer. Second hand. 3D number plates. Aftermarket exhaust. Probably diesel.
X1. Grandma.
2 series. Short people.
3 series. Older Sales Executive, still bitter that he hasn’t progressed up the ladder after 20+ years in his job. Probably a 320.
X3. Mum.
5 series. Powerfully Built Director. Bald.
X5. Senior drug dealer.
7 series. Airport chauffeur.
1 series. Junior drug dealer. Second hand. 3D number plates. Aftermarket exhaust. Probably diesel.
X1. Grandma.
2 series. Short people.
3 series. Older Sales Executive, still bitter that he hasn’t progressed up the ladder after 20+ years in his job. Probably a 320.
X3. Mum.
5 series. Powerfully Built Director. Bald.
X5. Senior drug dealer.
7 series. Airport chauffeur.
Edited by LotusOmega375D on Thursday 10th April 11:25
Turbobanana said:
Dapster said:
Subaru
The Impreza WRX and any other rally derivation thereof have an immobiliser trigger that activates once the car is more than 6 years old. The car can then only be opened and started by someone who is 40 but dresses like a 25 year old, and who must also own a blue Subaru branded rally jacket and bobble hat which must be worn at all times. The owner must also own his own (note - Subaru Impreza's are not permitted to be owned by women) very expensive Arai race helmet, Stand 21 gloves and rally boots - and he must always bring them to the office after work barb-b-que and karting social event where he must comment on track temperature and bemoan the "too under-steery" set up of the kart as 61 year old Jackie from HR smokes him by 15 lengths in the final.
The Impreza WRX and any other rally derivation thereof have an immobiliser trigger that activates once the car is more than 6 years old. The car can then only be opened and started by someone who is 40 but dresses like a 25 year old, and who must also own a blue Subaru branded rally jacket and bobble hat which must be worn at all times. The owner must also own his own (note - Subaru Impreza's are not permitted to be owned by women) very expensive Arai race helmet, Stand 21 gloves and rally boots - and he must always bring them to the office after work barb-b-que and karting social event where he must comment on track temperature and bemoan the "too under-steery" set up of the kart as 61 year old Jackie from HR smokes him by 15 lengths in the final.
You forgot to mention the thing that happened to all Imprezas when they left the showroom: the exhaust fell off and was replaced by one that made the car three times as loud as it was.
Gassing Station | Classic Cars and Yesterday's Heroes | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff