Double air kissing, invented by Satan?????
Discussion
I don't get it, I really don't, and I've been meaning to seek the opinions of others on this most sensitive subject for some time, so what's your opinion, what would you do....
You walk into a very nice country restaurant/bistro/wine bar type place to see a couple who have just come back to the country having worked abroad, you've known them for about ten years and you know they're a bit 'nouveau' (mostly the 'female' who can be a trifle highly strung, condescending and high maintenance) but despite this you're still friends, although not as close as you used to be.
So you say hello, shake hands with the chap and give the female a bit of a squeeze and a peck on the cheek (that's just the sort of chap I am,probably wasn't shown enough affection as a child or something but there you go).
Anyway, I'm halfway though my first pint and I realise the blonde (did I mention that the female is blonde) is still standing with perma-tanned cheek still pr'offered to the gods and is making a sort of whinnying noise like a dog facing a vet carrying two bricks, so muggins has to become erect to my full extension in front of the chock full establishment and undo this terrible faux pas by completing the essential double whammy before we get thrown out for not being sophisticated enough!
So my question to the Pie and Piston regulars is: What the frick is the big fricking deal with double kissing? I personally rate it in the same league as spritzers, tennis club dinner dances and buying the lowest powered Mercedes you can as long as its brand new and silver.
Or am I just a scumbag who wouldn't recognise sophistication of it leapt out of a Hermes bag and slapped me in the face?
You walk into a very nice country restaurant/bistro/wine bar type place to see a couple who have just come back to the country having worked abroad, you've known them for about ten years and you know they're a bit 'nouveau' (mostly the 'female' who can be a trifle highly strung, condescending and high maintenance) but despite this you're still friends, although not as close as you used to be.
So you say hello, shake hands with the chap and give the female a bit of a squeeze and a peck on the cheek (that's just the sort of chap I am,probably wasn't shown enough affection as a child or something but there you go).
Anyway, I'm halfway though my first pint and I realise the blonde (did I mention that the female is blonde) is still standing with perma-tanned cheek still pr'offered to the gods and is making a sort of whinnying noise like a dog facing a vet carrying two bricks, so muggins has to become erect to my full extension in front of the chock full establishment and undo this terrible faux pas by completing the essential double whammy before we get thrown out for not being sophisticated enough!
So my question to the Pie and Piston regulars is: What the frick is the big fricking deal with double kissing? I personally rate it in the same league as spritzers, tennis club dinner dances and buying the lowest powered Mercedes you can as long as its brand new and silver.
Or am I just a scumbag who wouldn't recognise sophistication of it leapt out of a Hermes bag and slapped me in the face?
I'm right with you on this one my car-enthusiastically minded brother.
The European girls at my University insist on it. I don't. I resent the kind of inuendo suggesting nature of it all.
A simple 'hello' will suffice.
But then, what is a suitable way of greeting a constituent of the opposite sexual category? A hand shake is too butch, a hug too friendly, a double-kiss too 'nuevo' as you so eloquently put it. Where do we stand? Territory that needs to be chartered IMO.
The European girls at my University insist on it. I don't. I resent the kind of inuendo suggesting nature of it all.
A simple 'hello' will suffice.
But then, what is a suitable way of greeting a constituent of the opposite sexual category? A hand shake is too butch, a hug too friendly, a double-kiss too 'nuevo' as you so eloquently put it. Where do we stand? Territory that needs to be chartered IMO.
VTEC_DOHC said:I find shaking her hand so that the back of her hand is facing upward is a good balance. It also lets you add a stroke of the palm with your middle finger if you want to be really lecherous.
But then, what is a suitable way of greeting a constituent of the opposite sexual category? A hand shake is too butch, a hug too friendly, a double-kiss too 'nuevo' as you so eloquently put it. Where do we stand? Territory that needs to be chartered IMO.
D-Angle said:
But then, what is a suitable way of greeting a constituent of the opposite sexual category? A hand shake is too butch, a hug too friendly, a double-kiss too 'nuevo' as you so eloquently put it. Where do we stand? Territory that needs to be chartered IMO.
I find shaking her hand so that the back of her hand is facing upward is a good balance. It also lets you add a stroke of the palm with your middle finger if you want to be really lecherous.
An interesting proposition. One which I will attempt sooner rather than later.
What I really dislike is when you are unsure as to what is expected, and you get it wrong midway through resulting in much embarrasment.
Blokes shake hands, job done.
Posh ladies, one mwah, mwah, each cheek.
Down to earth ladies & good freinds, one proper kiss on the cheek that comes naturally.
Totally silly stuck up their own arse types, usually orange skinned, done up like a dogs dinner, double barrelled name, wealthy hubbie, usually folks I have met several times a year in the Bentley Drivers Club at various events, but still dont know them because I am the wrong type and they are just being polite to me. Mwah, mwah...er is that it?..no another ones coming...damn, missed, caught her on the lips, embarrassing.
Blokes shake hands, job done.
Posh ladies, one mwah, mwah, each cheek.
Down to earth ladies & good freinds, one proper kiss on the cheek that comes naturally.
Totally silly stuck up their own arse types, usually orange skinned, done up like a dogs dinner, double barrelled name, wealthy hubbie, usually folks I have met several times a year in the Bentley Drivers Club at various events, but still dont know them because I am the wrong type and they are just being polite to me. Mwah, mwah...er is that it?..no another ones coming...damn, missed, caught her on the lips, embarrassing.
DJFish said:
I personally rate it in the same league buying the lowest powered Mercedes you can as long as its brand new and silver.
I think it may be that the people you describe do it in order to appear "continental" and therefore sophisticated...
...I must admit though after I'd been living in southern europe for a bit it became normal for me, even the chaps do it too (if you're familiar with them)
minimax said:Like wearing Farah trousers, 'V' neck jumpers over roll neck jumpers and a bit of gold jewellery. Missus looks like a wrinkled satsuma wearing a white jump suit and a blond wig. Always with the silver Mercedes.
I think it may be that the people you describe do it in order to appear "continental" and therefore sophisticated...
Balmoral Green said:
I think it may be that the people you describe do it in order to appear "continental" and therefore sophisticated...
Like wearing Farah trousers, 'V' neck jumpers over roll neck jumpers and a bit of gold jewellery. Missus looks like a wrinkled satsuma wearing a white jump suit and a blond wig. Always with the silver Mercedes.
That ain't being continental, that's called being common. Continental would have to invoke some sort of style not fashion. Poor misguided fools.
It becomes second nature on the continent and doesn't seem at all pretentious in that context. However, when the blokes start wanting to kiss you too, like at new years parties, etc. it's a bit much! Equally, doing a tour of the office every morning shaking hands and kissing every morning is a bit OTT, though the french seem to see it as a good way of delaying starting work.
Find myself greeting women in the same way when I come back to the UK - it at least has the advantage of being your standard practice, so you never have those ambiguous "Do I give her a peck or not?" moments.
The french love their handshakes a bit too much in my opinion, but have got used to my surly, pre-double espresso bonjour. You start wondering who washes their hands after wiping their ass and who doesn't....
Find myself greeting women in the same way when I come back to the UK - it at least has the advantage of being your standard practice, so you never have those ambiguous "Do I give her a peck or not?" moments.
The french love their handshakes a bit too much in my opinion, but have got used to my surly, pre-double espresso bonjour. You start wondering who washes their hands after wiping their ass and who doesn't....
Fairly normal on the continent so don't see why it's a problem doing it in the UK. They adopt plenty of American and English sayings and mannerisms.
However if it's clear that someone else does not do it then the other person should back down. i.e. I assume she was aware you backed away after kissing one cheek so if she stood there obviously waiting for the kiss on the other cheek deliberatly to make you feel uncomfortable then that's childish. Friends I meet on the continent know I'm English so don't expect me to double kiss but still do it to eachother (double kiss that is
)
However if it's clear that someone else does not do it then the other person should back down. i.e. I assume she was aware you backed away after kissing one cheek so if she stood there obviously waiting for the kiss on the other cheek deliberatly to make you feel uncomfortable then that's childish. Friends I meet on the continent know I'm English so don't expect me to double kiss but still do it to eachother (double kiss that is
)
Having spent Xmass in the UK, I thought about starting this thread.
I like you, I always have, I just don't want to kiss you. There's always that uncertainty - a kiss ? a handshake ? two kisses ?
This all pales into insignificance in France. Mrs BOR is a french. When in France, each and every woman you meet, for the first time each day, gets FOUR kisses. Or sometimes two. This is determined by some arcane rule that I don't understand, so I follow my wife's lead - but sometimes she can give two where I still have to give four. Family gathering ? Friends over for a party ? four kisses x ten women.
It. Gets. A. Bit. Tiresome.
How about a handshake ?
I like you, I always have, I just don't want to kiss you. There's always that uncertainty - a kiss ? a handshake ? two kisses ?
This all pales into insignificance in France. Mrs BOR is a french. When in France, each and every woman you meet, for the first time each day, gets FOUR kisses. Or sometimes two. This is determined by some arcane rule that I don't understand, so I follow my wife's lead - but sometimes she can give two where I still have to give four. Family gathering ? Friends over for a party ? four kisses x ten women.
It. Gets. A. Bit. Tiresome.
How about a handshake ?
minimax said:
I personally rate it in the same league buying the lowest powered Mercedes you can as long as its brand new and silver.
I think it may be that the people you describe do it in order to appear "continental" and therefore sophisticated...
...I must admit though after I'd been living in southern europe for a bit it became normal for me, even the chaps do it too (if you're familiar with them)
ooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!Tom
you can kiss me on two cheeks then ..............
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