Silly Tuesday Humour

[smp]

Three Legionnaires are walking through the desert under a baking sun.

They're fully equipped with enough food and water for days.

On the shimmering horizon, mirages come and go, but the Legionnaires do not crack. They Just keep marching solidly on.

Suddenly one of them freezes. "Psssst," he says pointing. "Le voila, isn't zat a bacon tree on ze 'orizon?"

And sure enough, proud and defiant in the middle of the desert is a true bacon tree.

Slowly they creep forward towards the far off mystery object, until they are within a stone's throw of the bacon tree.

Suddenly a shot rings out, dropping one of the Legionnaires in his tracks. The others hit the ground as bullets thud into the sand around them.

They treat the wounds of their companion and hear his faint voice stammer... "Zat was no bacon tree," he gasps, "Zat was a ham bush."

[lotuslad]

I have lost the will to live

[Li'l pugs]

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Give me back the last 50 seconds of my life, tell me I haven't wasted it on that "joke" !!!!!!

Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

[smp]

I repeat - I know it is seriously cringeworthy but decided it was worth sharing

[lotuslad]

The saddest part is that I love that joke. I think it's the French accent.

[vixpy1]

I'm sorry to announce that the Duracell Bunny has died of the effects of Sexual exhaustion.












Someone put his batteries in the wrong way round and he kept coming and coming.

[mybrainhurts]

Didn't get to the punch line because I knew a bacon tree couldn't survive in the desert.

I refuse to read stories riddled with half truths.

[GingerNinja]

[thebluemonkey]

mybrainhurts said:

Didn't get to the punch line because I knew a bacon tree couldn't survive in the desert. I refuse to read stories riddled with half truths.

Ah, but the desert loving Ham Bush can, though I doubt anyone could mix the two up if they had even the slightest knowledge of meat baring flora and fauna.

[Mr E]

mybrainhurts said:

Didn't get to the punch line because I knew a bacon tree couldn't survive in the desert. I refuse to read stories riddled with half truths.

Funnier than the joke.



(I liked the duracell joke though)

[mybrainhurts]

thebluemonkey said:

mybrainhurts said: Didn't get to the punch line because I knew a bacon tree couldn't survive in the desert. I refuse to read stories riddled with half truths. Ah, but the desert loving Ham Bush can, though I doubt anyone could mix the two up if they had even the slightest knowledge of meat baring flora and fauna.

Stop it...I refuse to read on.

Next, you'll be telling me it was a government plant.....

[lotuslad]

I think the ham bush is being confused with the much hardier spam bush which, with it's heat repelling bark, and brine retention, is known as the harpie of the desert, luring many a legionairre to his demise.

[mybrainhurts]

Look.............

[lotuslad]

Look at what?

Oh my word, it's a lamb bush! With it's fluffy exterior and minty aroma, there's little point even trying to resist its deadly charms.

[beano500]

lotuslad said:

... it's a lamb bush! ...

I think you'll find that's the Shepherd's Bush...

[lotuslad]

beano500 said:

I think you'll find that's the Shepherd's Bush...

Fair enough, he saw her first. I don't want to tread on any hooves.

[mybrainhurts]

...bugger off, the lot of you

[JonRB]

I'd like to invite everyone to join me in celebrating the 25th anniversery of me first hearing the Ham Bush joke.

[JonRB]

beano500 said:

I think you'll find that's the Shepherd's Bush...

.... and over there is where her mother stood. (full joke available on request)

[lotuslad]

JonRB said:

(full joke available on request)

:raiseshandnervously: