Steve Wrightisms
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Discussion

pug406

Original Poster:

3,636 posts

276 months

Friday 28th January 2005
quotequote all
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when
they know there is not enough?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal
injection?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are
four billion stars, but check when you say the paint
is wet?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for
"normal" people at the Special Olympics?

What level of importance must a person have, before
they are considered assassinated instead of just
murdered?

If someone with a split personality threatens to
commit suicide, is it a hostage situation

Why do people say sleep like a baby
when babies wake up, like, every two hours?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put
money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Plotloss

67,280 posts

293 months

Friday 28th January 2005
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[redacted]

esselte

14,626 posts

290 months

Friday 28th January 2005
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Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Why do we call something delivered in a car a shipment yet something delivered by a ship is cargo?

richardthestag

1,406 posts

256 months

Friday 28th January 2005
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Why do we cut a tree down and then cut it up?

SiOsbon

3,810 posts

263 months

Friday 28th January 2005
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Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?

If you agreed with someone called Zak, would you be pro-Zak?

Lincoln studied by the light of a fireplace. Mozart composed by candle light. Galileo invented by oil lamp. How come these seemingly intelligent people never thought to do their work during the daytime?

Is the only reason we give our children middle names so that they can tell when they are REALLY in trouble?

If Mr. is an abbreviation because of the M and R where did Mrs. come from? Does it show a possession belonging to Mr.? Wouldn't it be more suited to Mistress as it does have an R in it?

daver

1,209 posts

307 months

Friday 28th January 2005
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My fave Steve Wright related thing was that cheery jingle he used to use in tha afternoons on R1...

".... You're all talking kak ....."

As I wend my way through life I seem to find cause to sing that quite a lot.

JonRB

79,312 posts

295 months

Friday 28th January 2005
quotequote all
daver said:
My fave Steve Wright related thing was that cheery jingle he used to use in tha afternoons on R1.


I think you're confusing Steve Wright (the annoying whiney-voiced British DJ) with Steven Wright (the American stand-up comic to whom the quotes below are attributed).

>> Edited by JonRB on Friday 28th January 16:06

AC79xxx

62,260 posts

272 months

Friday 28th January 2005
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If someone who owns loads of ships is called a shipping magnate and a guy who owns a load of oil fields is an oil magnate, what's a guy who owns a lot of fridges called??

Jon C

3,214 posts

270 months

Friday 28th January 2005
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People did not evolve from apes. People and apes evolved from the same thing, which is now extinct.

(I'll get my coat!)

daver

1,209 posts

307 months

Friday 28th January 2005
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Quite likely, given that I've never heard of the other Steve Wright - and haven't listened to the one that I have heard of for about 15 years. I'll get me coat then.

Guy Humpage

12,889 posts

307 months

Friday 28th January 2005
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daver said:
Quite likely, given that I've never heard of the other Steve Wright - and haven't listened to the one that I have heard of for about 15 years. I'll get me coat then.


You'd probably recognise Steven Wright's voice, he does lots of voice overs in tv shows and films, the first one I could think of is in Reservoir Dogs, where he does the "K-Billy's Super Sounds of the '70s" jingles.