One for the ladies
Discussion
If you need cash to buy this book..............
Please note that HSBC Bank is installing new "Drive-Through" cash point
machines so customers will be able to withdraw cash
without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new
facility the following procedures have been drawn up.
Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (i.e. MALE
or FEMALE) and remember them for when you
use the machine for the first time.
Male Procedure
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
3. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
4. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
5. Drive off.
Female Procedure
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with machine.
3. Re-start the stalled engine.
4. Wind down window.
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
6. Turn down radio.
7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car.
9. Insert card.
10. Re-insert card the right way up.
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with PIN written inside back page.
12. Enter PIN.
13. Press "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN.
14. Enter amount of cash required.
15. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
16. Retrieve cash and receipt.
17. Re-empty handbag to locate purse and place cash inside.
18. Place receipt in back of cheque book.
19. Re-check make-up.
20. Drive forward 2 meters.
21. Reverse back to cash machine.
22. Retrieve card.
23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder and place card into slot provided.
24. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers queuing
behind.
25. Re-start stalled engine and drive off.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release handbrake.
Please note that HSBC Bank is installing new "Drive-Through" cash point
machines so customers will be able to withdraw cash
without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new
facility the following procedures have been drawn up.
Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (i.e. MALE
or FEMALE) and remember them for when you
use the machine for the first time.
Male Procedure
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
3. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
4. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
5. Drive off.
Female Procedure
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with machine.
3. Re-start the stalled engine.
4. Wind down window.
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
6. Turn down radio.
7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car.
9. Insert card.
10. Re-insert card the right way up.
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with PIN written inside back page.
12. Enter PIN.
13. Press "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN.
14. Enter amount of cash required.
15. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
16. Retrieve cash and receipt.
17. Re-empty handbag to locate purse and place cash inside.
18. Place receipt in back of cheque book.
19. Re-check make-up.
20. Drive forward 2 meters.
21. Reverse back to cash machine.
22. Retrieve card.
23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder and place card into slot provided.
24. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers queuing
behind.
25. Re-start stalled engine and drive off.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release handbrake.
Mr Jenks said:
If you need cash to buy this book..............
Please note that HSBC Bank is installing new "Drive-Through" cash point
machines so customers will be able to withdraw cash
without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new
facility the following procedures have been drawn up.
Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (i.e. MALE
or FEMALE) and remember them for when you
use the machine for the first time.
Male Procedure
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
3. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
4. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
5. Drive off.
Female Procedure
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with machine.
3. Re-start the stalled engine.
4. Wind down window.
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
6. Turn down radio.
7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car.
9. Insert card.
10. Re-insert card the right way up.
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with PIN written inside back page.
12. Enter PIN.
13. Press "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN.
14. Enter amount of cash required.
15. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
16. Retrieve cash and receipt.
17. Re-empty handbag to locate purse and place cash inside.
18. Place receipt in back of cheque book.
19. Re-check make-up.
20. Drive forward 2 meters.
21. Reverse back to cash machine.
22. Retrieve card.
23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder and place card into slot provided.
24. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers queuing
behind.
25. Re-start stalled engine and drive off.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release handbrake.
You're so dead when the girlies get back from the pub
I'm afraid this map is totally useless... 
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