Funny Stuff Kids Say
Discussion
A week back Mrs thestag was playing with our twin 4 year old boys by going through the alphabet and finding words that begin with the letters.
The whole exercise was a complete dead loss except when David, with his angelic little face says:
"Mummy I know a swear word that begins with W."
Mrs thestag somewhat taken aback by this comment replys "Oh what word is that then?"
To which young David responds "F
king Hell!"
Now we don't live in a household that tolerates kids swearing but this was sidesplittingly hilarious. None of Mrs Thestags posh friends find it funny though!
The whole exercise was a complete dead loss except when David, with his angelic little face says:
"Mummy I know a swear word that begins with W."
Mrs thestag somewhat taken aback by this comment replys "Oh what word is that then?"
To which young David responds "F
king Hell!" Now we don't live in a household that tolerates kids swearing but this was sidesplittingly hilarious. None of Mrs Thestags posh friends find it funny though!
I remember when I wasn't entirely sure what the words meant (would have been about 8, I think), but I told my parents a 'joke' that used them anyway.
As soon as I said the F-word, they firstly exploded with rage (you never hear my parents swearing, and the words they use to avoid doing so are comical - "Shoeshine!", "Sugar!", "Bummer!", "F..err..Heck!" and so on).
Then proceded to tell me exactly what a 'fk' was. For the next hour and a half. With diagrams.
As soon as I said the F-word, they firstly exploded with rage (you never hear my parents swearing, and the words they use to avoid doing so are comical - "Shoeshine!", "Sugar!", "Bummer!", "F..err..Heck!" and so on).
Then proceded to tell me exactly what a 'f
k' was. For the next hour and a half. With diagrams.We had our 4 year old daughter in the back of the car and we decided to go for a KFC.
Daughter pipes up in the back "yeay, Ken Fkyfried Chicken". We were astounded and told her that's not what KFC stands for.
After a couple of seconds, she said "then why is it Ken Fuckyfried Chicken?"
We had to laugh, she might know more about what goes on in there than we do
!
Daughter pipes up in the back "yeay, Ken F
kyfried Chicken". We were astounded and told her that's not what KFC stands for. After a couple of seconds, she said "then why is it Ken Fuckyfried Chicken?"
We had to laugh, she might know more about what goes on in there than we do
! Byff said:
We had our 4 year old daughter in the back of the car and we decided to go for a KFC.
Daughter pipes up in the back "yeay, Ken F
After a couple of seconds, she said "then why is it Ken Fuckyfried Chicken?"
We had to laugh, she might know more about what goes on in there than we do
I got thrown out of a KFC for the same spoonerism during my Uni days, along with several other lads. Problem was, we were somewhat inebriated, found it amusing and kept shouting it. Apparently it's a family restaurant…
BliarOut said:
Has anyone ever carried out the soap and water threat?
I have to say until last weekend I hadn't. My seven year old now knows I'm not bluffing, much to her dismay. I don't think she'll be swearing again for a very long time
I have three boys, 6 year old and the afore mentioned 4 year old twins. We have tried everything to stop them swearing, soap in the mouth worked for about a day so we gave up on that.
The problem is not huge, our house is not like a tourettes conference. However I have been known to swear from time to time, especially when thumb gets between hammer and work piece, and therefore get the blame for it. Thing is little boys seem to be a magnet for swear words they store them, even though they only heard one person say it quietly 20yards away, and then reproduce them at the most inopportune moment. Sometimes this is funny and you can’t help those bouncing shoulders but we do punish the boys for it, the oldest recently missed his friends birthday party because we found out he swore in front of his teacher.
Maybe society finds swearing less of an issue now than when I was a nipper, I guess the words travel round the playground pretty fast too..
BliarOut said:
Has anyone ever carried out the soap and water threat?
I have to say until last weekend I hadn't. My seven year old now knows I'm not bluffing, much to her dismay. I don't think she'll be swearing again for a very long time
Sort of, with our 12 yearold when he was about 10, problem was he started to eat the soapbar the little smartarse.
He didn't like Colmans much though........
rude-boy said:
Has anyone ever carried out the soap and water threat?
I have to say until last weekend I hadn't. My seven year old now knows I'm not bluffing, much to her dismay. I don't think she'll be swearing again for a very long time
Sort of, with our 12 yearold when he was about 10, problem was he started to eat the soapbar the little smartarse.
He didn't like Colmans much though........
Kids!!!
Colemans, I'll store that idea for later use
When I was a young lad I accidentally called my sister a bastard in front of my mum, who then proceeded to tan my hide with a slipper. I couldn't sit down for an hour or so afterwards (my mother would probably be sent to prison for child abuse in these modern touchy-feely time )
The thing was, I distinctly remember struggling to make up a word and it came out as something like "blastered" (close enough to 'bastard' for punishment, evidentally) and I can only assume that I had actually heard the real word and my attempts to make something up had gravitated towards the real word.
Or something.
Can I stop typing now please? I think the hole is deep enough.
>> Edited by JonRB on Thursday 3rd February 14:26
) The thing was, I distinctly remember struggling to make up a word and it came out as something like "blastered" (close enough to 'bastard' for punishment, evidentally) and I can only assume that I had actually heard the real word and my attempts to make something up had gravitated towards the real word.
Or something.
Can I stop typing now please? I think the hole is deep enough.
>> Edited by JonRB on Thursday 3rd February 14:26
Not swearing, but my little lad about a year ago (just turned 3 maybe), wanted some music on to dance to. My wife said he chose a CD from a pile of discs. The album he was adamant he wanted was Frank Zappa's Waka Jawaka.
After some discussion, Joanne stuck on the album. Dancing stopped after about two minutes with him announcing, "Mammy make that noise stop, it's hurting my head like a noisy dog"
After some discussion, Joanne stuck on the album. Dancing stopped after about two minutes with him announcing, "Mammy make that noise stop, it's hurting my head like a noisy dog"
The other twin Louis was at nursery school and they were asking the kids what they liked about their mums and dads.
Louis, bless his little cotton socks, announces "I like my dad because he burps in my face!"
Found out from the nursery supervisor who somewhat skeptically accepted my "true" explanation that the boy has a vivid imagination which should not be crushed.
However since then and normally after a very long pull on a tinny I let rip the full Chewbacca battle cry in the little chaps face
edited to get rid of the typos
>> Edited by richardthestag on Thursday 3rd February 14:50
Louis, bless his little cotton socks, announces "I like my dad because he burps in my face!"
Found out from the nursery supervisor who somewhat skeptically accepted my "true" explanation that the boy has a vivid imagination which should not be crushed.
However since then and normally after a very long pull on a tinny I let rip the full Chewbacca battle cry in the little chaps face
edited to get rid of the typos
>> Edited by richardthestag on Thursday 3rd February 14:50
BliarOut said:
BliarOut said:
Has anyone ever carried out the soap and water threat?
I have to say until last weekend I hadn't. My seven year old now knows I'm not bluffing, much to her dismay. I don't think she'll be swearing again for a very long time
Sort of, with our 12 yearold when he was about 10, problem was he started to eat the soapbar the little smartarse.
He didn't like Colmans much though........
Kids!!!
Colemans, I'll store that idea for later use
Oh yea! A tea spoon of that in their mouth... They'll think twice about doing wrong!
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