Indian Speed Dating
Discussion
Hi all,
I've got a bit of a dilemma on my hands. For the last three years I've been running a moderately successful Speed Dating business as a sideline, while working in a "sensible" day job.
This weekend I was approached by a friend of a friend, who's thinking about starting a Speed Dating business (and general personals site) for British people of Indian origin. Her idea is to allow British Indians to meet people of similar family background and values.
This isn't something I have a problem with - practically speaking, people will always want to date/marry people of similar values, background, etc.
What bothers me slightly is that it would be socially unacceptable for me to set up an identical event, exclusively for people of my ethnic origin (white British).
This is a genuine issue in the very diverse part of London where I live, where there's people of a huge range of backgrounds living together. There's no ethnic majority, and I'd imagine (if I weren't in a relationship!) it'd be hard to meet young professional white people in large numbers.
So far, people at the events have been of a complete range of ethnicity. Looking around the room, I find this quite heart-warming and am loathe to start restricting participants to one ethnicity or another. But, if I do, why is it acceptable to have a Speed Dating event exclusively for people of one ethnic origin, but not for another?
>>> Edited by blueski on Monday 7th February 09:55
I've got a bit of a dilemma on my hands. For the last three years I've been running a moderately successful Speed Dating business as a sideline, while working in a "sensible" day job.
This weekend I was approached by a friend of a friend, who's thinking about starting a Speed Dating business (and general personals site) for British people of Indian origin. Her idea is to allow British Indians to meet people of similar family background and values.
This isn't something I have a problem with - practically speaking, people will always want to date/marry people of similar values, background, etc.
What bothers me slightly is that it would be socially unacceptable for me to set up an identical event, exclusively for people of my ethnic origin (white British).
This is a genuine issue in the very diverse part of London where I live, where there's people of a huge range of backgrounds living together. There's no ethnic majority, and I'd imagine (if I weren't in a relationship!) it'd be hard to meet young professional white people in large numbers.
So far, people at the events have been of a complete range of ethnicity. Looking around the room, I find this quite heart-warming and am loathe to start restricting participants to one ethnicity or another. But, if I do, why is it acceptable to have a Speed Dating event exclusively for people of one ethnic origin, but not for another?
>>> Edited by blueski on Monday 7th February 09:55
I don't think you ought to ponder over the 'correctness' of hosting such an event.
Other Speed Dating event providers certainly offer evenings specifically targetting Muslims, Asians, Christians (I bet those are 'interesting' nights!), Antipodeans et al.
There are specific Gay and Lesbian nights too - and those for old birds looking for toy boys and gold-diggers looking for sugar Daddies, so literally anything seems to go...!
Do it.
Other Speed Dating event providers certainly offer evenings specifically targetting Muslims, Asians, Christians (I bet those are 'interesting' nights!), Antipodeans et al.
There are specific Gay and Lesbian nights too - and those for old birds looking for toy boys and gold-diggers looking for sugar Daddies, so literally anything seems to go...!
Do it.
CharlieAlpha66 said:
I don't think you ought to ponder over the 'correctness' of hosting such an event.
Yep, I'm sure there's a huge market and it's going ahead.
It seems quite reasonable that people will want to meet partners of a similar background, with similar values.
It's not a religious thing, because the site offers participants the option to specify their religion (Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian, other) - it's based on ethnicity. A part of me finds that difficult to deal with.
Events for people from a certain country seem a bit more reasonable, but this is for British Indians, who were born and grew up in this country.
I wonder why it's socially acceptable to offer events specifically for one ethnic group (in a very diverse local community), but unacceptable for another?
>> Edited by blueski on Monday 7th February 10:12
greenlandy said:
This country is already going to the dogs by people being overly PC. Don't go down that road, do what you want to do not what other people think you should do.
Some people would feel it's "political correctness" that would stop anyone running a similar event specifically for white British people.
Can you imagine the (in my view, justifiable) reaction if I made it clear on the website that the event was for white British people ONLY?
I'd be hugely unhappy about doing that, but not sure how events specifically for second generation British Indians are much different.
>> Edited by blueski on Monday 7th February 10:21
I am Indian myself but HATE the pc/non pc bull**** that is thrown about in this country.
This is likely to go off topic, and I apologise, so will give my view on the question posed first . .
It is wrong that if an Indian person does it that's OK but if you try there is likely to be uproar.
Similarly, it is wrong that if you try a service stating Whites/English only and you'll probably be shut down. Again, an Indian person can do one for Indians only and they'll probably get a medal.
Unfortunately I don't know the solution, perhaps you form a partnership with your 'Indian' friend as a partner ?
Now going off topic (sorry) . .
The Govt. in this country are too **** scared to say anything. Frankly I am not surprised that people get pissed off.
UK road signs in Hindi, Urdu, Chinese ?
FFS it's the UK where the language is English. If you choose to live here make an effort to learn the language.
Want holidays for Diwali, Ramadan, Chinese New Year ?
Go to live in India, Pakistan, China.
France send asylem seekers back without explaination, why is the UK too scared to do the same ?
My parents came here in the late 60's early 70's.
They worked and did not sponge like most the feckers do nowadays.
I was taught to respect the country and apprecite everything I had, even though I experienced some racism.
If I got in trouble at school I would have got a hiding. No questions, the school is right.
Today the poor darling will come home, complain a teacher raised his/her voice and the parents will sue.
As the previous message says, the UK is going to the dogs and the people who can stop it happening are doing nothing.
>> Edited by Vee on Monday 7th February 10:31
>> Edited by Vee on Monday 7th February 11:10
This is likely to go off topic, and I apologise, so will give my view on the question posed first . .
It is wrong that if an Indian person does it that's OK but if you try there is likely to be uproar.
Similarly, it is wrong that if you try a service stating Whites/English only and you'll probably be shut down. Again, an Indian person can do one for Indians only and they'll probably get a medal.
Unfortunately I don't know the solution, perhaps you form a partnership with your 'Indian' friend as a partner ?
Now going off topic (sorry) . .
The Govt. in this country are too **** scared to say anything. Frankly I am not surprised that people get pissed off.
UK road signs in Hindi, Urdu, Chinese ?
FFS it's the UK where the language is English. If you choose to live here make an effort to learn the language.
Want holidays for Diwali, Ramadan, Chinese New Year ?
Go to live in India, Pakistan, China.
France send asylem seekers back without explaination, why is the UK too scared to do the same ?
My parents came here in the late 60's early 70's.
They worked and did not sponge like most the feckers do nowadays.
I was taught to respect the country and apprecite everything I had, even though I experienced some racism.
If I got in trouble at school I would have got a hiding. No questions, the school is right.
Today the poor darling will come home, complain a teacher raised his/her voice and the parents will sue.
As the previous message says, the UK is going to the dogs and the people who can stop it happening are doing nothing.
>> Edited by Vee on Monday 7th February 10:31
>> Edited by Vee on Monday 7th February 11:10
Vee, I appreciate your comments.
I think the reality of the situation is always going to be that people will want to meet people with similar values - but I'm uncomfortable with anyone specifying (or, more often, families specifying) that ethnicity is the over-riding concern.
At the end of the day, we all live on a small and crowded island, and we have to get along together.
If this is the road society wants to go down, at the very least it should be possible for White British people to specify that they also would only considering dating others - and to hold dedicated events.
Personally, I'd hate to see this happen, but I'm no more comfortable with dedicated Indian events.
I think there's a groundswell of people (of all backgrounds) that see the hypocrisy of this, but are afraid to speak out for fear of being branded "racist" or ignorant. This is something we all have to address, though I've no idea how.
>> Edited by blueski on Monday 7th February 10:50
I think the reality of the situation is always going to be that people will want to meet people with similar values - but I'm uncomfortable with anyone specifying (or, more often, families specifying) that ethnicity is the over-riding concern.
At the end of the day, we all live on a small and crowded island, and we have to get along together.
If this is the road society wants to go down, at the very least it should be possible for White British people to specify that they also would only considering dating others - and to hold dedicated events.
Personally, I'd hate to see this happen, but I'm no more comfortable with dedicated Indian events.
I think there's a groundswell of people (of all backgrounds) that see the hypocrisy of this, but are afraid to speak out for fear of being branded "racist" or ignorant. This is something we all have to address, though I've no idea how.
>> Edited by blueski on Monday 7th February 10:50
v8thunder said:
I don't personally see the problem. If I was into speed dating I'd want a 'No Lentilists' sign on the door!
Right... you'd want to discriminate on people's values, but not on their ethnicity.
On a similar note, there's a local "Black Writer's Group", based at (and funded by) my local public library.
Being a (very) part-time writer, I thought I'd drop them a line to see if I'd be welcome to join in, despite my skin colour, as there's no equivalent "White Writer's Group".
So far, despite two polite letters to the library, no reply. This is a genuine issue where there's no outright ethnic majority, and in fact I'm very much a minority as a White British person.
Frankly, I think they don't want to touch this with a bargepole.
Vee said:
I am Indian myself but HATE the pc/non pc bull**** that is thrown about in this country.
This is likely to go off topic, and I apologise, so will give my view on the question posed first . .
It is wrong that if an Indian person does it that's OK but if you try there is likely to be uproar.
Similarly, it is wrong that if you try a service stating Whites/English only and you'll probably be shut down. Again, an Indian person can do one for Indians only and they'll probably get a medal.
Unfortunately I don't know the solution, perhaps you form a partnership with your 'Indian' friend as a partner ?
Now going off topic (sorry) . .
The Govt. in this country are too **** scared to say anything. Frankly I am not surprised that people get pissed off.
UK road signs in Hindi, Urdu, Chinese ?
FFS it's the UK where the language is English. If you choose to live here make an effort to learn the language.
Want holidays for Diwali, Ramadan, Chinese New Year ?
Go to live in India, Pakistan, China.
France send asylem seekers back without explaination, why is the UK too scared to do the same ?
My parents came here in the late 60's early 70's.
They worked and did not sponge like most the feckers do nowadays.
I was taught to respect the country and apprecite everything I had, even though I experienced some racism.
If I got in trouble at school I would have got a hiding. No questions, the school is right.
Today the poor darling will come home, complain a teacher raised his/her voice and the parents will sue.
As the previous message says, the UK is going to the dogs and the people who can stop it happening are doing nothing.
>> Edited by Vee on Monday 7th February 10:31
>> Edited by Vee on Monday 7th February 11:10
Phil
If we are promoting Britain as a multicultural island, let's do our best to insure things promoting non-multiculturalism are outlawed.
Personally I don't have a problem with people of any background as long as they integrate into society. I don't agree with anything which hinders this or promotes subcultures. It seems integration is a one way thing in the UK, the Brits aren't allowed to be British but if you are from where ever, our system will promote your subculture. Political correctness does not treat people equally.
But then again, I'm Cornish and proud
Personally I don't have a problem with people of any background as long as they integrate into society. I don't agree with anything which hinders this or promotes subcultures. It seems integration is a one way thing in the UK, the Brits aren't allowed to be British but if you are from where ever, our system will promote your subculture. Political correctness does not treat people equally.
But then again, I'm Cornish and proud
What's the problem, here, folks?
Are individuals not allowed to be more attracted to persons of a specific racial origin anymore?
If persons of Indian origin are attracted to persons of Indian origin, why must you legislate against this?
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but do computer dating services not ask you specify some physical details about yourself, as well as cultural and educational
backgrounds? Are you not matched against similar others? Can you not specify a particular ethnicity or background you're interested in?
Are individuals not allowed to be more attracted to persons of a specific racial origin anymore?
If persons of Indian origin are attracted to persons of Indian origin, why must you legislate against this?
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but do computer dating services not ask you specify some physical details about yourself, as well as cultural and educational
backgrounds? Are you not matched against similar others? Can you not specify a particular ethnicity or background you're interested in?
I personally think you should be able to arrange a White British only evening if you want to. However yes I do believe you would have some people banging on about it be racist. So offer the option of "Would you like to go to a same race or a multicultural speed dating event"?
That way your not advertising a "Whites only!" evening as it apply's to all races. You might not get any takers....or so few it's not practical anyway.
>> Edited by munter on Monday 7th February 12:59
That way your not advertising a "Whites only!" evening as it apply's to all races. You might not get any takers....or so few it's not practical anyway.
>> Edited by munter on Monday 7th February 12:59
I was once accused of being racist becuase i said i had no attraction to black girls. They phsically don't do anything for me.
Does me saying that i have no attraction to fat girls make me bad also?
it is natural to want a partner of the same race, upbringing or religeon as oneselves. So i don't have a problem with dating sites wich cater exclusively for a different section. After all, would we be up in arms over a site exclusivly for fat people.
I think not!
Does me saying that i have no attraction to fat girls make me bad also?
it is natural to want a partner of the same race, upbringing or religeon as oneselves. So i don't have a problem with dating sites wich cater exclusively for a different section. After all, would we be up in arms over a site exclusivly for fat people.
I think not!
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