Funniest/most embarrassing thing done while drunk!
Discussion
Not mine but thought I would share with you lot anyway as it had me in stitches when I was told last night.
Mate of mine pulled a bloke on the weekend, he came round on monday night after a heavy drinking session to see her unannounced at 2:30 in the morning.
God only know why she let him in (he lives less than 100m up the road), she makes him a drink and he promptly passes out in her room, she uses one of her flat mates rooms to get some sleep.
She wakes him up this morning and stands on some wet boxers, thinks nothing of it and pulls the covers off him to kick him out, she sees a wet patch about 2 foot in diameter, he says he spilt the drink, she believes him.
As he goes off to change, she notices a musty smell, its then that she realises its not water, hes actually p1ssed himself, cue awkward moment when he realises that she knows and is not letting on and she knows that he is mortified (as you would be) and just wants out of the house.
He managed an Austin powers style p1ss as it managed to soak all the way through the mattress and has started to drip on stuff under the bed!!
She hasn't been able to contact him in anyway, I presume hes too embarrassed to talk to her and her mattress now needs replacing.
Moral of the lesson, do not let drunk people in the house at early times in the morning to sleep off the effects of drinking all day.
Mate of mine pulled a bloke on the weekend, he came round on monday night after a heavy drinking session to see her unannounced at 2:30 in the morning.
God only know why she let him in (he lives less than 100m up the road), she makes him a drink and he promptly passes out in her room, she uses one of her flat mates rooms to get some sleep.
She wakes him up this morning and stands on some wet boxers, thinks nothing of it and pulls the covers off him to kick him out, she sees a wet patch about 2 foot in diameter, he says he spilt the drink, she believes him.
As he goes off to change, she notices a musty smell, its then that she realises its not water, hes actually p1ssed himself, cue awkward moment when he realises that she knows and is not letting on and she knows that he is mortified (as you would be) and just wants out of the house.
He managed an Austin powers style p1ss as it managed to soak all the way through the mattress and has started to drip on stuff under the bed!!
She hasn't been able to contact him in anyway, I presume hes too embarrassed to talk to her and her mattress now needs replacing.
Moral of the lesson, do not let drunk people in the house at early times in the morning to sleep off the effects of drinking all day.
I was drunk but not as drunk as the victims of this amusing tale!
After a big night out at uni, two of my male friends passed out in the same bed, whilst we were all having the post union chat! So, the rest of us in the group decided to have some fun with them!
The girlfriend of one of the guys stripped him down to his boxers, while one of the slightly braver lads left stripped the other guy down to his. We then arranged them so that they were in a sort of "spooning" position.
Dodgy bit now!!
We then got the girlfriend (yes she was a tad wierd) to "caress" her boyfriend's arse-hole with a toothbrush, just to roughen it up a tad and make it a bit sore. We then opened up a condom, dabbed a bit of toothpaste on the inside and left it on the floor. We then placed a few more spots on the duvet, got the girl to dab a little around the arse and then we made a swift exit!!
Next day, we all walk into the house really loudly and wake the two "lovers" up. The words we heard from upstairs, were choice to say the least!!
We rushed up the stairs to see two very shocked lads of 20, and them giving no explination as to what all the fuss was about!!
We told them a year later......... suprisingly they didn't find it funny....
After a big night out at uni, two of my male friends passed out in the same bed, whilst we were all having the post union chat! So, the rest of us in the group decided to have some fun with them!
The girlfriend of one of the guys stripped him down to his boxers, while one of the slightly braver lads left stripped the other guy down to his. We then arranged them so that they were in a sort of "spooning" position.
Dodgy bit now!!
We then got the girlfriend (yes she was a tad wierd) to "caress" her boyfriend's arse-hole with a toothbrush, just to roughen it up a tad and make it a bit sore. We then opened up a condom, dabbed a bit of toothpaste on the inside and left it on the floor. We then placed a few more spots on the duvet, got the girl to dab a little around the arse and then we made a swift exit!!
Next day, we all walk into the house really loudly and wake the two "lovers" up. The words we heard from upstairs, were choice to say the least!!
We rushed up the stairs to see two very shocked lads of 20, and them giving no explination as to what all the fuss was about!! We told them a year later......... suprisingly they didn't find it funny....
Guy I worked with went out with his team one night, ended up with one of them passing out in the chair. He proceeded to take a series of photos of the guy, as the villan (who we shall call Reid) poured a cup of water into his lap.
Reid then proceeded to show these around work, letting everyone see the whole set, but telling them that say they had seen the pix where the victim pissed himself.
The victim collared Reid, gave him a piece of his mind and said he could not believe a mate would do that to him. Ried then proceeded to show him the pix, in reverse order, from the wet jeans - sleeping victim, through to number 1 pic, Reid holding the cup of water over his lap, before he started pouring.
Oh how we laughed!
Reid then proceeded to show these around work, letting everyone see the whole set, but telling them that say they had seen the pix where the victim pissed himself.
The victim collared Reid, gave him a piece of his mind and said he could not believe a mate would do that to him. Ried then proceeded to show him the pix, in reverse order, from the wet jeans - sleeping victim, through to number 1 pic, Reid holding the cup of water over his lap, before he started pouring.
Oh how we laughed!
Well, being a student, Grand Theft Roadsign comes into most of them (a friend of mine has a 'coffee table' made of a roundabout sign on bricks), and I seem to be the specialist in falling over in funny ways when someone in the vicinity has a camera.
However, I think the best pranks played ended up turning into a bit of a 'prank war' one night when me and some mates had just come back from a gig to a mate's house. Obviously he went to sleep in his room but the rest of us slept on sofas in his living room. Not yet ready to go to sleep, we looked around for pranks to play. In the bathroom, we found a bucket, some shaving foam, a waterproof shower radio and a big balloon.
My mate had left his door ajar, so he was asking for it really. We filled the bucket with water and shaving foam to get it all frothy, dropped the waterproof radio in it on full blast, and managed to balance the whole thing on top of his door.
So he was woken up in the night by the sound of a very loud, gargling radio, turns on the light and sees it's coming from a teetering bucket of foamy water (the foam from which was beginning to froth and ooze out of the bucket and down his door). Of course we were all bladdered, him especially, but somehow he managed to get the bucket off the top of the door smoothly...
...only to find that we'd tied a string to the handle of the bucket that looped out of sight over the top of the door and into the dark hall behind it attached to the balloon. So of course, he's got it half way down, then suddenly the thing jerks, the balloon bursts loudly, and he ends up covered in what amounts to sticky aftershave-smelling bubble bath.
We all woke up that morning with our hair and faces covered in toothpaste! I knew he wouldn't let it go
However, I think the best pranks played ended up turning into a bit of a 'prank war' one night when me and some mates had just come back from a gig to a mate's house. Obviously he went to sleep in his room but the rest of us slept on sofas in his living room. Not yet ready to go to sleep, we looked around for pranks to play. In the bathroom, we found a bucket, some shaving foam, a waterproof shower radio and a big balloon.
My mate had left his door ajar, so he was asking for it really. We filled the bucket with water and shaving foam to get it all frothy, dropped the waterproof radio in it on full blast, and managed to balance the whole thing on top of his door.
So he was woken up in the night by the sound of a very loud, gargling radio, turns on the light and sees it's coming from a teetering bucket of foamy water (the foam from which was beginning to froth and ooze out of the bucket and down his door). Of course we were all bladdered, him especially, but somehow he managed to get the bucket off the top of the door smoothly...
...only to find that we'd tied a string to the handle of the bucket that looped out of sight over the top of the door and into the dark hall behind it attached to the balloon. So of course, he's got it half way down, then suddenly the thing jerks, the balloon bursts loudly, and he ends up covered in what amounts to sticky aftershave-smelling bubble bath.
We all woke up that morning with our hair and faces covered in toothpaste! I knew he wouldn't let it go
20 years ago, when I were still a teenager. I'd been out with a couple of friends, had a few pints, and ended the night having a few swifty's. I'd only had 8/10 pints, and didn't feel drunk at all. Walking home, I thought it would be a great idea to pop in and see a mate of mine. His old mans house was massive, and he had his own outside door, so he could come/go as he pleased. I knocked on the door,he opens up, hello mate, etc etc, do you want a cup of coffee?.
we sat there chatting for a bit, then suddenly I get serious stomach cramp, really painfull. The toilet is next door to his bedroom, so off I go. Pants dropped, stomach churning, looks like I'll be here for a while. Next thing, I started to do this smiley
. Being already sat on the bog, precluded me sticking my head down it. I didn't fancy trying to barf between my legs either, so I lent forward to throw up in the bath. Something like two hours later, I was woken by a jug full of water thrown over my head. My mate had been worried sick by the bang as I passed out into the bath, and spent two hours teasing the bathroom door key out of lock, and onto a piece of newspaper he's stuck under the door. His sympathy disappeared however, when he saw me face down in a pool of vomit, in his bath. To make matters worse, I'd not stopped crapping either.
He used to remind me of this every opportunity he got, until he shat himself while still sat at a bar some years later
Phil
we sat there chatting for a bit, then suddenly I get serious stomach cramp, really painfull. The toilet is next door to his bedroom, so off I go. Pants dropped, stomach churning, looks like I'll be here for a while. Next thing, I started to do this smiley
. Being already sat on the bog, precluded me sticking my head down it. I didn't fancy trying to barf between my legs either, so I lent forward to throw up in the bath. Something like two hours later, I was woken by a jug full of water thrown over my head. My mate had been worried sick by the bang as I passed out into the bath, and spent two hours teasing the bathroom door key out of lock, and onto a piece of newspaper he's stuck under the door. His sympathy disappeared however, when he saw me face down in a pool of vomit, in his bath. To make matters worse, I'd not stopped crapping either. He used to remind me of this every opportunity he got, until he shat himself while still sat at a bar some years later
Phil
There was a thread on this one.
Cut a long story short, had a late twenties crisis over Christmas, on my birthday managed to drink a legful and autopilot took me home as usual. Apart from I didn't go to bed, I used google and some Sherlock Holmes style cunning to ilucidate the email of a bird I had met in the pub a few times. (Like a total stalker) then I proceeded to say something along the lines of "I fukkin love you, don't tell anyone!"
I still haven't seen her since, but it could be a horrendous moment and probably will be.
My pulling skills haven't evolved much since I was 15.
Cut a long story short, had a late twenties crisis over Christmas, on my birthday managed to drink a legful and autopilot took me home as usual. Apart from I didn't go to bed, I used google and some Sherlock Holmes style cunning to ilucidate the email of a bird I had met in the pub a few times. (Like a total stalker) then I proceeded to say something along the lines of "I fukkin love you, don't tell anyone!"
I still haven't seen her since, but it could be a horrendous moment and probably will be. My pulling skills haven't evolved much since I was 15.
If you want the pinnacle of doing stupid things when you are drunk/ having things done to you when you are drunk, just watch Dirty Sanchez.
One of the guys called Pancho sleeps deeper than anyone I have ever seen, even more so when pi$$ed.
One night they put a shackle lock round his neck with a pan lid through it so it looked like a big medallion and "swallowed" the keys. Next day he had to go and get it cut off.
that is just a mild taste of what they do. Absolute nutters...
One of the guys called Pancho sleeps deeper than anyone I have ever seen, even more so when pi$$ed.
One night they put a shackle lock round his neck with a pan lid through it so it looked like a big medallion and "swallowed" the keys. Next day he had to go and get it cut off.
that is just a mild taste of what they do. Absolute nutters...
had one just last Saturday as it goes. Was out in York with a friend who lives there. I wasn't getting drunk as quick so decided on a few strawpedo's to play catch-up. I think I caught up, and overtook...
We left the club about 2:30am (or so I'm told) and had a dirty burger (or so I'm told - I still have no recollection of this, only the relish on my shirt persuaded me it was true).
I still have no real idea what happened on the walk home, but I do know that: -
- We set off in completely the wrong direction.
- I think I tried to climb over a fence at one point.
- My mate got home about 5am.
- I lost faith in said mates sense of direction, stopped walking and tried to get into a taxi.
- The taxi wouldn't take me, so I took a "shortcut".
- The "shortcut" took me back into York centre, where I'd set out from 3 hours prior.
- Finally got in a Taxi in the city and remembered the address of the house!
- Staggered through front door ~6am.
From that evening I acquired (without knowledge of exactly how): -
- One black eye, with scarily close gouge!
- One large graze atop my head.
- One sore bruised nose.
- One pair of numb, slightly wobbly front teeth.
- One sore wrist, with scars on.
- One pair of VERY sore legs that are still sore. (I know why this one happened. 1.5 hours football, 1 hour squash, followed by 3.5 hours of beer-induced high-speed marching!)
The next morning I discovered why the first taxi wouldn't take me - my shirt was red as a bullfight from blood!
Definately hadn't been a fight (I'm fairly sure), but I think there must have been more than just one fall - though I do have vague recollection of falling off that fence!
The big question is - did these events get committed to memory, then lost, or did they just never get there in the first place?!?!!
Half a shandy and a salad this Saturday methinx
The A&E staff were surprised i didn't die from exposure 
gingerprince said:
Was out in York with a friend who lives there. I wasn't getting drunk as quick so decided on a few strawpedo's to play catch-up. I think I caught up, and overtook...
We left the club about 2:30am (or so I'm told) and had a dirty burger (or so I'm told - I still have no recollection of this, only the relish on my shirt persuaded me it was true).
My guess was that you went to The Gallery (everywhere else chucks you out at 2AM sharp), got a burger from Oki's burger van (he always overdoes the relish, the burger's wrapped in a thin piece of paper rather than a box, and in the morning you'll think you've eaten a dog (you probably have). The taxi firm that wouldn't take you were probably 659 - they're bastards like that. Next time try Ebor - the taxi firm of choice for terminally pissed students. There's nothing, drunken-activity-wise, they haven't seen inside their cabs.
when running to catch the bus one night I had pretty much lost my balance and was using the pavement to keep in a straight line. Unfortunately the pavement goes straight into the centre of life, as did I at full pelt. I had a bruised and grazed shoulder for weeks and still get the micky taken out of me.
Then again, I still remember it clear as day and have never been so drunk as I don't remember what happened nor indeed have I ever suffered a proper hangover, and it's not due to want of trying.
Then again, I haven't had a proper drink in almost 2 years now.
Then again, I still remember it clear as day and have never been so drunk as I don't remember what happened nor indeed have I ever suffered a proper hangover, and it's not due to want of trying.
Then again, I haven't had a proper drink in almost 2 years now.
Mate of mine got so drunk at Le Mans in 2000, he ended up walking the whole circuit whilst pissed (left bar and headed in wrong direction). He fell into a ditch during this time and lost his mobile phone, he arrived back at the tent at 9.30 a.m. covered in dirty and scratches and promptly fell asleep inside the tent in 30 degree heat until 3 p.m.
He was very quite for the rest of the day!
He was very quite for the rest of the day!
At a friends house party once, we decided to do some SERIOUS drinking (over a litre of spirits for me, plus half a dozen beers, champs, drugs and all sorts 
) I ended up going into the blokes mothers bedroom(!!!) waking her up... not once but twice!! The morning after we had a fryup, and I washed my greasy brekkie down with a full pint of vodka (literally), somehow managed not to throw up, and fatefully made my way in the garden, whereupon i decided to gobble down our entire stash of hash.
We headed off to the beach next, stripped to our boxers, ran out to sea, and it was then that I very nearly drowned trying to stand in water waist deep. Making it to shore was like trying to storm normandy beach, what with all the explosions in my head etc, it really did almost kill, the small waves kept knocking me over and under, I couldnt stand or walk, the world was spinning, and after getting dressed we headed into town.
I got lost in a video arcade, thought my mates had left, went outside put my arms around strangers who I thought were my mates (who retracted in disgust and shock horror. MEGA embarassing) and after spinning around for a minute or two, couldnt figure out which building I had just come out of. I then started the scariest walk of my life through a strange town, massively drunk, totally and utterly blitzed, staggering for england I ended up in a rural neighbourhood and blagged a ride from an angel in the form of an old man who drove me home to eastbourne!! Bloody scariest day of my life that was. The drugs turned everything into a freak out trip, and being in that state, alone, in a strange city, with no money no phone (all lost) was the most embarrassing/scariest thing ever.
And I did it all over again, drinking so much in brighton I lost myself, everyone I knew, and woke up in another city on a bench in a train station! That scared me just as much. Apparently I had found my way to the police station, left, and 3 squad cars + mates were driving in 4 cars till 7am looking for me, which is about the time I arrived home after having lost all my money/phone and blagged a ride from another angel in the form of a taxi.
There was the embarasing beach party a few years back... again, over a litre of spirits for me, beer, wine, you name it. I vomited all over the host, topped everything off with too much grass, stepped into the LSD twilight zone, and spent the night running around with fireworks, got rescued after stepping into the centre of the bonfire
I was always known as crazy rob, psycho bob, you name it, but Ive matured over the years, and for the most part become a sensible type. Got hundreds of stories, almost all embarrasing, some just crazy... trying to take shortcuts on autopilot through town, wrong turns, I even tried to climb over a house once to get to where I was going, fell off the roof with my camcorder Had the police questioning me thinking I was a burgler after climbing onto my own roof (I could never get my key out my pocket, and always climbed onto the roof to get to my bedroom, mates would take the piss and leave my shoes on the roof in the morning for me to find)
Oh happy days
Its all good fun, just learn where your limits are (speaking for self here) 
One of the most embarassing though, was walking into my landlords bedroom when I was 20ish, I must have woken him up as I turned on the lights, got out the trouser snake and proceeded to take a slash on his bedside table. Unsuprisingly I was kicked out after that!
) I ended up going into the blokes mothers bedroom(!!!) waking her up... not once but twice!! The morning after we had a fryup, and I washed my greasy brekkie down with a full pint of vodka (literally), somehow managed not to throw up, and fatefully made my way in the garden, whereupon i decided to gobble down our entire stash of hash. We headed off to the beach next, stripped to our boxers, ran out to sea, and it was then that I very nearly drowned trying to stand in water waist deep. Making it to shore was like trying to storm normandy beach, what with all the explosions in my head etc, it really did almost kill, the small waves kept knocking me over and under, I couldnt stand or walk, the world was spinning, and after getting dressed we headed into town.
I got lost in a video arcade, thought my mates had left, went outside put my arms around strangers who I thought were my mates (who retracted in disgust and shock horror. MEGA embarassing) and after spinning around for a minute or two, couldnt figure out which building I had just come out of. I then started the scariest walk of my life through a strange town, massively drunk, totally and utterly blitzed, staggering for england I ended up in a rural neighbourhood and blagged a ride from an angel in the form of an old man who drove me home to eastbourne!! Bloody scariest day of my life that was. The drugs turned everything into a freak out trip, and being in that state, alone, in a strange city, with no money no phone (all lost) was the most embarrassing/scariest thing ever.
And I did it all over again, drinking so much in brighton I lost myself, everyone I knew, and woke up in another city on a bench in a train station! That scared me just as much. Apparently I had found my way to the police station, left, and 3 squad cars + mates were driving in 4 cars till 7am looking for me, which is about the time I arrived home after having lost all my money/phone and blagged a ride from another angel in the form of a taxi.
There was the embarasing beach party a few years back... again, over a litre of spirits for me, beer, wine, you name it. I vomited all over the host, topped everything off with too much grass, stepped into the LSD twilight zone, and spent the night running around with fireworks, got rescued after stepping into the centre of the bonfire
I was always known as crazy rob, psycho bob, you name it, but Ive matured over the years, and for the most part become a sensible type. Got hundreds of stories, almost all embarrasing, some just crazy... trying to take shortcuts on autopilot through town, wrong turns, I even tried to climb over a house once to get to where I was going, fell off the roof with my camcorder
Had the police questioning me thinking I was a burgler after climbing onto my own roof (I could never get my key out my pocket, and always climbed onto the roof to get to my bedroom, mates would take the piss and leave my shoes on the roof in the morning for me to find) Oh happy days
Its all good fun, just learn where your limits are (speaking for self here) One of the most embarassing though, was walking into my landlords bedroom when I was 20ish, I must have woken him up as I turned on the lights, got out the trouser snake and proceeded to take a slash on his bedside table. Unsuprisingly I was kicked out after that!
Legend! Some funny ones here.
There was a guy at Uni who was great for this sort of stuff, here is a couple of examples:
One night he had got up and dropped the biggest log you ever saw in the bog. It wouldn't flush so the obvious thing to do was put a banger down the toilet to shift the blighter. Unfortunately this blew the toilet to pieces. He showed me a picture of the smashed pan - the log didn't even shift
Then there was the time he climbed onto the roof and removed the chimney pot and bought it into the bathroom through the window. It was too big to go through the door, so it had to stay as a feature!!!!
Hmm. My anecdote is going to sound pathetically tame after that, but as a student I got a bit drunk and had trouble negotiating a door frame. I knocked into one side, moved sideways to clear it but overdid it and knocked into the other side, and then got stuck bouncing from side to side like a human pinball until everyone had stopped laughing and someone gave me a push to help me through.
>> Edited by JonRB on Wednesday 9th February 14:23
>> Edited by JonRB on Wednesday 9th February 14:23
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