Tradition and weddings
Discussion
Was having a conversation with a couple of colleagues today and it appears that people do "traditional" things in their weddings even if they don't want to because of pressure from friends/relatives. These included:
Cakes
Hen/stag nights
Discos
Expensively printed invites
Large receptions
Personally, I think that the bride and groom should do what they want and sod everyone else, but what happens if the relatives are giving you money? Does that mean you should do what they want because they've funded part of the wedding?
What do people think about this?
Cakes
Hen/stag nights
Discos
Expensively printed invites
Large receptions
Personally, I think that the bride and groom should do what they want and sod everyone else, but what happens if the relatives are giving you money? Does that mean you should do what they want because they've funded part of the wedding?
What do people think about this?
We (Shoebag and I)want to go to Las Vegas and get married without anyone else!
I then want to have a massive piss up (reception if you want to get posh) when we get back....she isn't too keen on the piss up as it would involve both sets of parents meeting.....if you have seen "Meet The Fockers" you will know why this fills both of us with dread......
I then want to have a massive piss up (reception if you want to get posh) when we get back....she isn't too keen on the piss up as it would involve both sets of parents meeting.....if you have seen "Meet The Fockers" you will know why this fills both of us with dread......
Me and the wife sat down and decided what we wanted out of our wedding day and that is what we had. We told the registry office we wanted the shortest possible service. We told the photographer to take the photos quick because he only had limited time. We didn't wear silly clothes. The wedding car was a Jag because the wife likes them. We hired a whole restaurant for the reception and invited all my mates. The smokers had to go outside to smoke. There was no disco and no cake. It was great.
I'm a bit of non-traditionalist when it comes to stuff like this.
I think the best compromise in this situation is to have the wedding exactly how you would like it, with no people, abroad - however you want. After all it's your day.
Then when it comes to the reception / big party, then let everyone else have their say. Let them meddle with the decorative bits, but do your actual ceremony how you want it, and sod everyone else. x
I think the best compromise in this situation is to have the wedding exactly how you would like it, with no people, abroad - however you want. After all it's your day.
Then when it comes to the reception / big party, then let everyone else have their say. Let them meddle with the decorative bits, but do your actual ceremony how you want it, and sod everyone else. x
We had a big traditional wedding paid for by my Father-in-Law and featuring him driving (the soon to be) Mrs.Ferg to the church in his racing Bentley Derby Special followed by marquee on the lawn. At this point it all went a bit non-traditional when around 30 guests and I had a game of football on the lawn (mostly in Morning suits). I was on the losing side.
I feel a bit sorry for best men and fathers of brides who may be quaking in their boots at standing up in front of 200 isn't their bag baby. I say stuff tradition, do what you think you want to. I want people to remember it for the day is was, not because the brides bouquet had matching napkins at the reception.
DanBoy said:
Weddings are too long and drawn out, as are the receptions.
Funerals are much more efficient*.
*Unless it's a Catholic jobbie, in which case it is a horrendous and lengthy ordeal!
>> Edited by DanBoy on Monday 21st February 20:35
My Funeral, the one place i would be seen dead at!
I'm very traditional, intend to have a white church wedding, with wife in horse and carrige.. leave church in Aston..huge reception. Wild sex in, sorry.. Honeymoon on a private island in the pacific. Nothing to do all day but mate!
birdbrain said:
Personally, I think that the bride and groom should do what they want and sod everyone else
birdbrain said:
but what happens if the relatives are giving you money? Does that mean you should do what they want because they've funded part of the wedding?
I can tell you exactly what happens in my case. Here's a non-exhaustitive list of what the mother in law has said so far:
1. I know we said we wouldn't interfere, but...
2. I don't like any modern dresses. I won't like it whatever you choose
cue an hour of sobbing 3. I'm leaving the reception at 6 because I can't stand drunk people
4. Jerusalem is a funeral hymn
5. Everyone in the village comes to the church, it's tradition
6. You can't have lamb. Lots of people don't like lamb you'll have to write to everyone and tell them so they can ask for something else if they don't like it
7. What do you mean you don't want to use my friend's car?
8. If you don't invite x (x being some distant relative) then we'll have to reconsider how much money we will give you
I shit you not, she actually left this on the answerphone!! cue more sobbing What really gets me is that my parents are putting the same into the pot, and we are putting in more but still she insists on sticking her
oar in left right and centre! I've just about had it. Next outburst, I really will lose my rag. 
The guest list is currently in the 170 region because of the list of random people that I've never met at all and Mrs Miniman hasn't seen for 10+ years.
What makes it worse is that Mrs Miniman's brother is also getting married this year and MIL has not said a single word. Why? Because it's not traditional for her to have anything to do with it!
you don't know how much better that feels! Aaaaahhhhhhh and BREATHE!miniman said:
2 Smokin Barrels said:
I think if you get married you need your bumps feeling, and get everything you deserve.
I think Miniman is proof of this.
I really think you should do what makes YOU happy.
My elder brother and sister in law married last July, was an absolutely lovely day;
They engaged in the May. Whoever said it can't be organised quickly speaks twaddle! Their ceremony was in a beautiful church in our village (where we were all christened, baptised etc.), they had the most fantastic guest list - really small and intimate. I think it ended up being 30 odd who they all knew intimately at the ceremony and at the reception at a local country hotel, all the guests (along with the 100+ they had for the evening do) stayed there. Was really lovely.
Moving on, that evening, we moved from the hotel back to our house, where we threw a huge party for at least 100 people who they'd known from school, uni, past acquaintances, family, family friends etc. People they knew, liked and wanted to share it with - but didn't want them at their actual ceremony.
It turned out to be one of the best weddings I've ever been to, people are always SO surprised at the little planning that went into it. But really, it's between you and the future hubby - do it how YOU want it. :thumbsup:
My elder brother and sister in law married last July, was an absolutely lovely day;
They engaged in the May. Whoever said it can't be organised quickly speaks twaddle! Their ceremony was in a beautiful church in our village (where we were all christened, baptised etc.), they had the most fantastic guest list - really small and intimate. I think it ended up being 30 odd who they all knew intimately at the ceremony and at the reception at a local country hotel, all the guests (along with the 100+ they had for the evening do) stayed there. Was really lovely.
Moving on, that evening, we moved from the hotel back to our house, where we threw a huge party for at least 100 people who they'd known from school, uni, past acquaintances, family, family friends etc. People they knew, liked and wanted to share it with - but didn't want them at their actual ceremony.
It turned out to be one of the best weddings I've ever been to, people are always SO surprised at the little planning that went into it. But really, it's between you and the future hubby - do it how YOU want it. :thumbsup:
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