With respect to 'The Muslim Vote'...
With respect to 'The Muslim Vote'...
Author
Discussion

wedg1e

Original Poster:

27,034 posts

294 months

Wednesday 2nd March 2005
quotequote all
Woah, don't panic, I'm not trying to re-open a metallic cylindrical container full of tunnelling invertebrates, just an observation on the English in general...

Donkey's years ago, maybe even before PetrolTed was a glint in the caveman's eye, Britain was ransacked by the Romans. Now people think that they came, saw, did a little sightseeing and buggered off with a few trinkets made from base metal dug out of Cornwall, and indeed most of them did. However a fair few of them actually took 'local' wives and stayed on, So their kids were as halfe-caste as some of those you see around the place now.
Then later, some Vikings turned up, shagged a few Geordie lasses and opened a farm shop on the Yorkshire Moors, Hearte Boeatte I think it was called. They had a few wild kids, probably called Daz and Shaz, who got a council hut in Hartttttlypoelle and wore clothing in the mode known as Boor-Berra.
In time, their descendants were rudely dragged away from leaning on a gatepost in a smock, by the urgent necessity to remove Norman arrows from their buttocks. Before the wounds had healed, their womenfolk were dropping sprogs with ridiculous names like Cuthbert, Augustine and Swithin. These offspring were so ashamed that they wanted to run away to join a monastery, but there were none, so they founded their own.
This kind of lifestyle continued for some time, centuries even, various folks - Picts, Celts, Saxons - dropping in to partake of a few bevvies and till a little patch of sod, although the invasion of Cumbria by the American Navy was purely symbolic: they resisted raping the sheep and pillaging the women, but it was a close call.
The Irish: now there's a creed. Nipped over on the FastFerry to lay a few rails, dig a few canals - and hump a few willing maidens, no doubt. Same goes for the Scots, once they'd finished their own little squabbles and beaten us 1-0 at Bannockburn.
Then we arrive in the modern day. By now there's so much diluted blood in England, who the hell is 'English' anyway?
Have we the most reason to be 'racist', to try to preserve what we have, since we're heartily sick of the invaders; or should we be the most tolerant nation in the world, since we're made up, effectively, of so many others?

Nurse! More Port...

towman

14,938 posts

268 months

Wednesday 2nd March 2005
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No more Ports. It encourages ferries.

anhamgrimmar

1,025 posts

260 months

Thursday 3rd March 2005
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I'm english, i know i'm a mongrel, but a long as people dont take teh Pish i'm happy

eharding

14,648 posts

313 months

Thursday 3rd March 2005
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wedg1e said:
Donkey's years ago.......


Panic attack....you mean, way back, there's a Donkey
my family tree?

Road_Terrorist

5,591 posts

271 months

Thursday 3rd March 2005
quotequote all
eharding said:

wedg1e said:
Donkey's years ago.......



Panic attack....you mean, way back, there's a Donkey
my family tree?



80-90% of Human DNA is similar to most other creatures so if you go back far enough you probably are related, then again your even more closely related to apes, 98 or 99% I think, depends on the which type of monkey.

bga

8,134 posts

280 months

Thursday 3rd March 2005
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There is a lot to be said for intercultural breeding from a scientific basis. Genetic distance is apparently very good for the gene pool - ever been to Boston Lincs??

groucho

12,134 posts

275 months

Thursday 3rd March 2005
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Everybody on the planet is of African origin, end of story.

voyds9

8,490 posts

312 months

Thursday 3rd March 2005
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groucho said:
Everybody on the planet is of African origin, end of story.


Don't I remember a theory a few years ago about two distinct races one European and one African based on head shape or size. Then all of a sudden it went quiet, didn't hear anything about it being disproved. Anyone enlighten me further.

Julian64

14,325 posts

283 months

Thursday 3rd March 2005
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The only true english have red hair. Everyone else is just jumping on the bandwagon.

Jinx

12,018 posts

289 months

Thursday 3rd March 2005
quotequote all
Road_Terrorist said:

80-90% of Human DNA is similar to most other creatures so if you go back far enough you probably are related, then again your even more closely related to apes, 98 or 99% I think, depends on the which type of monkey.


I think it is round about 80% of DNA we share with bananas - explains a lot of the posts on here.......