Idiot of the week - that'll me
Discussion
Top this for sheer 
witability...
I ordered my Chinese last night and patiently waited for the time to arrive to pick it up.
Off I went, turned up at the restaurant and went to the counter.
"I've ordered a meal" - I exclaimed and waited for them to bring my food to the front. While they were faffing about trying to find it, I began to get agitated as it was taking a while, and I was very hungry.
Then I realised that I was in the wrong restaurant. 
I apologised red faced and left the building and the other 5 sniggering customers behind.
So Sunday arrived and I went to pick my daughter up as always on a Sunday.
Imagine my traumatic drive back to our house after she took great pleasure in saying "Mum saw you in the chippy last night!"
witability... I ordered my Chinese last night and patiently waited for the time to arrive to pick it up.
Off I went, turned up at the restaurant and went to the counter.
"I've ordered a meal" - I exclaimed and waited for them to bring my food to the front. While they were faffing about trying to find it, I began to get agitated as it was taking a while, and I was very hungry.
Then I realised that I was in the wrong
restaurant. I apologised red faced and left the building and the other 5 sniggering customers behind.
So Sunday arrived and I went to pick my daughter up as always on a Sunday.
Imagine my traumatic drive back to our house after she took great pleasure in saying "Mum saw you in the chippy last night!"
When I once worked in a dry cleaners at the counter, a red faced chap (furious!!) came in and started shouting at me calling me a totally incompetant ct and a motherfker and telling me to give me his fking suit before he jumps over the counter and kicks the fking s**t out of me.
I asked him politely for his ticket and he slammed it down on the counter... and it was for the dry cleaners across the road 
Upon smiling and trying to contain my laughter and telling him this, he told me that we were fking crap anyway and he wouldnt use our services if we paid him.
Stormed over to our competitor in an even worse mood I bet - I feel sorry for the poor girl at the counter over there
Lovely bloke
Thats Reading for ya....
t and a motherfker and telling me to give me his fking suit before he jumps over the counter and kicks the fking s**t out of me. I asked him politely for his ticket and he slammed it down on the counter... and it was for the dry cleaners across the road
Upon smiling and trying to contain my laughter and telling him this, he told me that we were f
king crap anyway and he wouldnt use our services if we paid him. Stormed over to our competitor in an even worse mood I bet - I feel sorry for the poor girl at the counter over there
Lovely bloke
Thats Reading for ya....
that's made me laugh Lazyitus!
I had my idiot of the week moment this same morning.
At the supermarket, checking on the apple stand, right next to my bf and one of the chaps from the supermarket (among other random people I gues), I saw a really nice lot of Cox apples, and with all my ingenuity and happyness I exclaimed! "Oh, Cox apples... I LOVE COX!!" At which last utterance I found Mr. Mannginger right about to burst out laughing and - so he says - the sales chap suddenly staring at him and keeping a very straight face and swiftly running away some seconds later from us to laff his head off at me poor little foreigner
Took me a bit though to realise what I had just pronounced I guess...
>> Edited by Iria on Sunday 6th March 20:36
I had my idiot of the week moment this same morning.
At the supermarket, checking on the apple stand, right next to my bf and one of the chaps from the supermarket (among other random people I gues), I saw a really nice lot of Cox apples, and with all my ingenuity and happyness I exclaimed! "Oh, Cox apples... I LOVE COX!!" At which last utterance I found Mr. Mannginger right about to burst out laughing and - so he says - the sales chap suddenly staring at him and keeping a very straight face and swiftly running away some seconds later from us to laff his head off at me poor little foreigner
Took me a bit though to realise what I had just pronounced I guess...
>> Edited by Iria on Sunday 6th March 20:36
mybrainhurts said:
I make a right tit of myself....
HA....that's nothing.....
Late for a wedding.....crept into the church......sat down.......
Got through half the service before noticing t'was the wrong church and the wrong wedding.......
My dad did similar, then posed for wedding photos. I bet they spent ages trying to work out "bride or groom?"
mybrainhurts said:
I make a right tit of myself....
HA....that's nothing.....
Late for a wedding.....crept into the church......sat down.......
Got through half the service before noticing t'was the wrong church and the wrong wedding.......
Done that..kind of.
Me, brother and his girlfrend were invited to the night do but not the wedding of a cousin (too distant or something). Anyway, they said they would arrange a minibus to pick up others in a similar position from Newcastle railway station i.e. mainly the grooms' mates so we had no idea who they are or where we were.
Bus turned up at 6.30pm as arranged, we got onto bus, sat at the back. Half an hour later, I kept seeing signs for a place (cant remember the name, but it certainly wasnt the castle we were meant to be going to!
Got off the bus with eveyone else, middle of nowhere, didn't know anyone!
Was only about 10 at the time so started bawling my eyes out! 
We eventually found a payphone and got in contact with the place we should have been at, but they said they couldnt tell anyone as the speeches were happening!
After many odd looks from the guests of our gatecrashed event, a £30 taxi ride back to the hotel, a 30 min drive getting lost, we got to the party 2 hours late
Mrs C C was cleaning out the back of the Disco last week and because of the bad weather she pulled the back door shut. She soon found out that the child proof lock system was engaged and couldn’t get out. Too embarrassed to shout out to a passer by she had to remove the dog guard, which was luckily fixed on with thumb screws. Then she climbed over the back seat to release the doors from the dash switch.
Naturally it was all poor old C C’s fault because he was indoors at the time reading looking at the posts on PH.
Naturally it was all poor old C C’s fault because he was indoors at the time reading looking at the posts on PH.
c c said:
Mrs C C was cleaning out the back of the Disco last week and because of the bad weather she pulled the back door shut. She soon found out that the child proof lock system was engaged and couldn’t get out. Too embarrassed to shout out to a passer by she had to remove the dog guard, which was luckily fixed on with thumb screws. Then she climbed over the back seat to release the doors from the dash switch.
Naturally it was all poor old C C’s fault because he was indoors at the time reading looking at the posts on PH.
I had no such luck in the Lakes at New Year. Chucked all our stuff in the back of the Transit, slid the side door shut and heard a clunk as the central locking kicked in. The keys were in the ignition, the engine was running and the van was blocking a gateway. After futilely trying the coat-hanger trick, I had to lob a rock through the quarterlight and drive 120 miles home with a freezing gale blowing in. Then to add insult to injury I had to cough up £30 from my own pocket for another glass, when it transpired the company insurance doesn't cover gross incompetence...
2 Smokin Barrels said:
In my youf...I ran out of a disco in the slashing rain. Jumped in the car, set off, got about 300 yards when I spotted the dangly thing on the rear view mirror. I hate dangly things on rear view morrors. Not my car. Keys were a bit more simple in those days!
My Mum did that - amazed that sometimes the keys do work, but the thing was, she got in the car, switched the stereo on and it was only when she twigged that it wasn't her radio station - of her collection of tapes on the passenger seat - that perhaps she'd made an error.
Ah...'tis all coming back to me now.....
Dropped my old mum off at a shop and parked outside to wait for her......
Car parked in front was identical to mine....
Me 'ol mum came out of shop......
And got into car in front......
Sat there for ages before she sussed....nearly killed me for not stopping her....
didn't need to lock cars in those days.....
Dropped my old mum off at a shop and parked outside to wait for her......
Car parked in front was identical to mine....
Me 'ol mum came out of shop......
And got into car in front......
Sat there for ages before she sussed....nearly killed me for not stopping her....
didn't need to lock cars in those days.....
2 Smokin Barrels said:Did this with a mate of mine, and 2 other mates.
In my youf...I ran out of a disco in the slashing rain. Jumped in the car, set off, got about 300 yards when I spotted the dangly thing on the rear view mirror. I hate dangly things on rear view morrors. Not my car.
Mate in question owned an old Sierra. He tried to unlock it, but it was a struggle. His words were "These locks aren't great, and this one's getting a bit old ..." as he wrenched the key and thumped the door hard.
It opened. 4 of us got in. He tried to start it, then said "It's not my car."
4 Lads got out very quickly.
Oli.
Gassing Station | The Pie & Piston Archive | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff