Can you intervene...
Discussion
Driving to B&Q yesterday I had the pleasure of watching a man of asian origin pushing a woman of similar origin (and wrapped up in whole body scarf thing) into a car. She didn't want to get in, but he was forcing her to.
My immediate response would have been to get out the car and beat the guy into the middle of next week. However, I just stayed in the car and drove past.
Why? Because I would have been the one who was punished. Probably a conviction for ABH and racism, then have a whole community turn against me, smash my stuff up etc.
Its so wrong that it works this way.
My immediate response would have been to get out the car and beat the guy into the middle of next week. However, I just stayed in the car and drove past.
Why? Because I would have been the one who was punished. Probably a conviction for ABH and racism, then have a whole community turn against me, smash my stuff up etc.
Its so wrong that it works this way.
Not having a go here but surely it shouldn't matter what origin the people involved are? I once approached a man who was dragging a crying child along a busy street. The child was resisting and something about the situation didn't look right. Everyone else was looking but no-one did anything. When I went up and asked if everything was alright I was told to 
off and stop interfering.
I think it's worth intervening if you think something untoward is going on. After all, how many stories do you hear about people being dragged off busy streets and no-one intervening. How would you feel if you heard a woman had been raped or murdered after you saw two men dragging her into a car and didn't do anything because you didn't want to get involved?
This isn't a personal attack, BTW!
off and stop interfering. I think it's worth intervening if you think something untoward is going on. After all, how many stories do you hear about people being dragged off busy streets and no-one intervening. How would you feel if you heard a woman had been raped or murdered after you saw two men dragging her into a car and didn't do anything because you didn't want to get involved?
This isn't a personal attack, BTW!
b17nns said:
Id like to think that in that situation I would have stopped and asked the lady if she required assistance.
Years ago, I was in a car full of lads, driving through Bedford. On the pavement was a guy and a woman fighting and pushing on another.
We all piled out of the car to help her and see what was going on. When we spoke to them it turned out the guy was fighting his (ex?) girlfriend off. He pulled up his t-shirt and showed us the iron mark his lovely lady had given him (I think he said whilst he was asleep).
Just goes to show you can never tell the real situation. Wouldn't stop me trying to help anybody, though.
"Excuse me sir do you realise that not only are you apparently committing a racially aggravated assault on that lady but also that you are possibly laying yourself open to charges of unlawful imprisonment?"
"I therefore feel that I shall have to visit the local Police station to report this offence and to show them the footage/pictures I have just recorded on my phone. DO you require any assistance madam?"
birdbrain said:
Not having a go here but surely it shouldn't matter what origin the people involved are? I once approached a man who was dragging a crying child along a busy street. The child was resisting and something about the situation didn't look right. Everyone else was looking but no-one did anything. When I went up and asked if everything was alright I was told to
I think it's worth intervening if you think something untoward is going on. After all, how many stories do you hear about people being dragged off busy streets and no-one intervening. How would you feel if you heard a woman had been raped or murdered after you saw two men dragging her into a car and didn't do anything because you didn't want to get involved?
This isn't a personal attack, BTW!
It shouldnt matter a shit but what if someone who hadnt seen the man pushing the woman had seen someone beating the shit out of someone else in a car park?
If the people fighting had been of different ethnic origins you just know that a racial hatred crime will be persued.
Its sad that people cannot call on self defence for fear of being branded.
birdbrain said:
Not having a go here but surely it shouldn't matter what origin the people involved are? I once approached a man who was dragging a crying child along a busy street. The child was resisting and something about the situation didn't look right. Everyone else was looking but no-one did anything. When I went up and asked if everything was alright I was told to
I think it's worth intervening if you think something untoward is going on. After all, how many stories do you hear about people being dragged off busy streets and no-one intervening. How would you feel if you heard a woman had been raped or murdered after you saw two men dragging her into a car and didn't do anything because you didn't want to get involved?
This isn't a personal attack, BTW!
And????????
Was it legit (if a little OTT)?
Or did you manage to foil a white slave trade gang?
birdbrain said:
Not having a go here but surely it shouldn't matter what origin the people involved are? I once approached a man who was dragging a crying child along a busy street. The child was resisting and something about the situation didn't look right. Everyone else was looking but no-one did anything. When I went up and asked if everything was alright I was told to
Just out of interest, did your intervention have any effect on the outcome of the situation or did he continue to drag the child along.
cotty said:
Just out of interest, did your intervention have any effect on the outcome of the situation or did he continue to drag the child along.
Well, he stopped dragging her along anyway.
It's difficult to know what to do in these situations. My ex once approached a man who was beating up his girlfriend in the street only to have them both turn on him.
birdbrain said:
It's difficult to know what to do in these situations. My ex once approached a man who was beating up his girlfriend in the street only to have them both turn on him.
Never get in the middle of a domestic
..... Some ladies like a more neanderthal approach to dating 
>> Edited by BliarOut on Monday 7th March 13:34
Again off-topic, but a mate of mine once stopped to intervene in what looked like a street-fight between two teenage lads.
Turned out that they were brothers, one of whom was having an epileptic fit, and the other was stopping him from hurting himself.
Having said that, in the circumstance you describe, I'd probably have stopped to ask if the lady was OK. That's if I had a mate in the car with me.
Oli.
Turned out that they were brothers, one of whom was having an epileptic fit, and the other was stopping him from hurting himself.
Having said that, in the circumstance you describe, I'd probably have stopped to ask if the lady was OK. That's if I had a mate in the car with me.
Oli.
Oh yeah, I forgot about this. I once saw a boy of about 15 beating up, and I mean REALLY laying into a younger boy as I drove past. Stopped, hooted and yelled out the window. The older boy ran off and the younger one just burst into tears. I offered him a lift but he said he was going to be late and ran off. I felt really sorry for him. 
It's dead easy on a Internet forum to say "I'd have done this or that". In reality, it's hard to know what I'd have done in a similar situation.
I once saw a car stop, a bloke jump out and started punching a woman - clearly his wife or lover. I had my kids with me and I didn't want to get involved. I made a note of the bloke's registration and called the police. Interestingly, the police never got in touch with me so I guess it wasn't pursued.
I once saw a car stop, a bloke jump out and started punching a woman - clearly his wife or lover. I had my kids with me and I didn't want to get involved. I made a note of the bloke's registration and called the police. Interestingly, the police never got in touch with me so I guess it wasn't pursued.
I tend to intervene if I think someone is in danger. The latest incident was as follows (by the way - this is slightly off topic, as it's more on the subject of 'would you intervene', rather than 'could you intervene'...
We all know that it's a dangerous old world and that people are, basically, animals. But I have often though that many of the world's evils could be avoided if someone looked at them and got in the way, rather than simply skating around the issue. While this is debateable on the international/political front, (cf America's 'War On Terrorism'), I think that on the personal front, it's a given. If you see someone in trouble, and you can help, you do. Even if, sometimes, that involves taking a risk to your own personal safety.
I got involved in such an incident late last year, while out clubbing. There was a girl, very obviously underage, and she was completely hammered (ecstasy, presumably). She was also on her own - whoever she had come with had obviously buggered off. I happened to notice a bunch of dodgy types watching her, and made a mental note to keep an eye.
15 minutes later, and I am in the loo. Two of the aforementioned scumbags are in there too, and one makes some comment to his mate like 'yeah, I'd give that little blonde one a right seeing to (bear in mind that these drooling perverts are at least my age i.e. 26-27). At which point, I turn to him and say 'she's just a kid, mate, leave her alone'. They scowl at me and swagger off.
Fast forward to half an hour later; I look for her, and she's gone. I have a look around the dancefloor and there she is, in a corner, pinned to the wall by one of the dodgy scally types as he tries to put something into her mouth (more drugs presumably). His dribbling friends are looking on, hungrily. I automatically assume the worst (i.e. they are going to force feed her drugs until she's a total mess, take her somewhere and rape her or something). So I run over, pull the guy off her (sidestepping smartly in case the little bastard takes a swing or has a weapon), grab her arm and walk her away, saying 'come with me, you'll be OK'. She's sobbing, by this point.
I take her over to where my friends and I are dancing, and send someone to get her a bottle of water, and tell her to sit down. She turns out to be 16 (what the hell is she doing out in Brixton, alone?), Ukrainian (poor English), and confused. Kept saying 'thank you so much) and so confused that she kept asking me over and over whether I was Security.
10 minutes later, weaselhead and his furry little rodent friends pluck up the courage to approach us, mouthing off about us interfering where we weren't welcome. At which point I absolutely lose it (but in that cold, angry way rather that the get-involved-in-a-fight-and-get-hammered way), and tell him, in explicit terms, what I will do to him if he doesn't take his little friends with him when he goes away right now (probably looked like bravado as I'm not exactly the biggest chap in the world - I was spitting with rage, though). Luckily by this stage by my friend is with me and the girl, looking 6'6", big, northern and not very easy to intimidate (luckily the toerags don't know he's a gentle giant). The nasty little bullies realise that this isn't going to be an easy one (I am in full temper, and my friend is huge), and slink off like the jackals they are. Security FINALLY notice what is going on (despite having been told by us earlier
). Scumbags leave the club.
We keep the girl with us for the rest of the night, eventually I find her friends and tell them in no uncertain terms what happened, why they were so stupidly remiss, and that they should take her home NOW. I make them call a cab, and send them home after getting an address and phone number from them (and testing the latter). She is pathetically grateful, poor thing. Her friends are predictably horrified when I tell them what happened.
I was furious:
1) that it happened at all - what animals;
2) that no-one did anything, despite it being obvious that this child was being assaulted;
3) where the hell were the club security people; and
4) where the hell were her friends?
Anyway, wake up in the afternoon, realising that I did a good thing. Tell the then girlfriend.
Who promptly absolutely bollocked me for getting involved, saying 'what if they had knives' etc. etc.. She appreciated that I have done a good thing, and is proud of that, but says that getting involved is simply not acceptable in this day and age. I say that, if there had been time, I would have simply found a bouncer - but there was no time, so I had to step in.
Ex is a good, decent, and kind person. If someone like that honestly believes that stepping in to save someone from serious harm is not worth it, I think there's no hope for the world.
However I'd do it again in a heartbeat - if we all stand by and let the evil little sods in this world do anything they want, we'll be living terrified, behind permanently locked doors, within 10 years. No way.
I know you have to evaluate the risk to yourself, without leaping in blind, but tell me - isn't it worth maybe taking the risk of a bit of violence to save someone else from serious harm? I think it is, always have done, and always will do. Do you? Getting involved is a good thing to do - even if you don't do anything yourself; at least call someone who can/will,
Good work to all those on this thread who would have said something, or called someone, or tried to help in some way. Those of you that would just stand by - what if it were you, wishing someone would do something to help you, while the world looked on disinterestedly?
We all know that it's a dangerous old world and that people are, basically, animals. But I have often though that many of the world's evils could be avoided if someone looked at them and got in the way, rather than simply skating around the issue. While this is debateable on the international/political front, (cf America's 'War On Terrorism'), I think that on the personal front, it's a given. If you see someone in trouble, and you can help, you do. Even if, sometimes, that involves taking a risk to your own personal safety.
I got involved in such an incident late last year, while out clubbing. There was a girl, very obviously underage, and she was completely hammered (ecstasy, presumably). She was also on her own - whoever she had come with had obviously buggered off. I happened to notice a bunch of dodgy types watching her, and made a mental note to keep an eye.
15 minutes later, and I am in the loo. Two of the aforementioned scumbags are in there too, and one makes some comment to his mate like 'yeah, I'd give that little blonde one a right seeing to (bear in mind that these drooling perverts are at least my age i.e. 26-27). At which point, I turn to him and say 'she's just a kid, mate, leave her alone'. They scowl at me and swagger off.
Fast forward to half an hour later; I look for her, and she's gone. I have a look around the dancefloor and there she is, in a corner, pinned to the wall by one of the dodgy scally types as he tries to put something into her mouth (more drugs presumably). His dribbling friends are looking on, hungrily. I automatically assume the worst (i.e. they are going to force feed her drugs until she's a total mess, take her somewhere and rape her or something). So I run over, pull the guy off her (sidestepping smartly in case the little bastard takes a swing or has a weapon), grab her arm and walk her away, saying 'come with me, you'll be OK'. She's sobbing, by this point.
I take her over to where my friends and I are dancing, and send someone to get her a bottle of water, and tell her to sit down. She turns out to be 16 (what the hell is she doing out in Brixton, alone?), Ukrainian (poor English), and confused. Kept saying 'thank you so much) and so confused that she kept asking me over and over whether I was Security.
10 minutes later, weaselhead and his furry little rodent friends pluck up the courage to approach us, mouthing off about us interfering where we weren't welcome. At which point I absolutely lose it (but in that cold, angry way rather that the get-involved-in-a-fight-and-get-hammered way), and tell him, in explicit terms, what I will do to him if he doesn't take his little friends with him when he goes away right now (probably looked like bravado as I'm not exactly the biggest chap in the world - I was spitting with rage, though). Luckily by this stage by my friend is with me and the girl, looking 6'6", big, northern and not very easy to intimidate (luckily the toerags don't know he's a gentle giant). The nasty little bullies realise that this isn't going to be an easy one (I am in full temper, and my friend is huge), and slink off like the jackals they are. Security FINALLY notice what is going on (despite having been told by us earlier
). Scumbags leave the club. We keep the girl with us for the rest of the night, eventually I find her friends and tell them in no uncertain terms what happened, why they were so stupidly remiss, and that they should take her home NOW. I make them call a cab, and send them home after getting an address and phone number from them (and testing the latter). She is pathetically grateful, poor thing. Her friends are predictably horrified when I tell them what happened.
I was furious:
1) that it happened at all - what
animals; 2) that no-one did anything, despite it being obvious that this child was being assaulted;
3) where the hell were the club security people; and
4) where the hell were her friends?
Anyway, wake up in the afternoon, realising that I did a good thing. Tell the then girlfriend.
Who promptly absolutely bollocked me for getting involved, saying 'what if they had knives' etc. etc.. She appreciated that I have done a good thing, and is proud of that, but says that getting involved is simply not acceptable in this day and age. I say that, if there had been time, I would have simply found a bouncer - but there was no time, so I had to step in.
Ex is a good, decent, and kind person. If someone like that honestly believes that stepping in to save someone from serious harm is not worth it, I think there's no hope for the world.
However I'd do it again in a heartbeat - if we all stand by and let the evil little sods in this world do anything they want, we'll be living terrified, behind permanently locked doors, within 10 years. No way.
I know you have to evaluate the risk to yourself, without leaping in blind, but tell me - isn't it worth maybe taking the risk of a bit of violence to save someone else from serious harm? I think it is, always have done, and always will do. Do you? Getting involved is a good thing to do - even if you don't do anything yourself; at least call someone who can/will,
Good work to all those on this thread who would have said something, or called someone, or tried to help in some way. Those of you that would just stand by - what if it were you, wishing someone would do something to help you, while the world looked on disinterestedly?
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