A strange thing happened to me
Discussion
I was feeling pretty low so I tried out this internet dating site. There was no one there who didn't look like a turnip – but just some tart who looked more like Michael Jackson with plumbing problems
Eventually, after a bit of proverbial mind reading, I found someone (congratulated myself) and drove to meet her in my 4X4.
When I eventually met her, I felt low. Reason being, as is often the statistics in these matters, she looked to me more like a turnip faced George Dubya than her Internet picture. So, it was the point of no return, I got back in my 4X4, called the Indian Call Centre which sold me the web-site and demanded £20,000 compensation.
>>> Edited by srebbe64 on Monday 7th March 22:33
Eventually, after a bit of proverbial mind reading, I found someone (congratulated myself) and drove to meet her in my 4X4.
When I eventually met her, I felt low. Reason being, as is often the statistics in these matters, she looked to me more like a turnip faced George Dubya than her Internet picture. So, it was the point of no return, I got back in my 4X4, called the Indian Call Centre which sold me the web-site and demanded £20,000 compensation.
>>> Edited by srebbe64 on Monday 7th March 22:33
Sean Connery and Michael Jackson got together via Internet dating.
"Can you lend me 20k (short term)?" said Michael.
"Don`t be a Turnip" relied Sean,"why do you need it, problems with your plumbing?"
"No", he said, "I`ve just found out that Blunkett is not my father and I`m feeling low".
"Here`s a Judas Priest album - that will make you feel better"
"Wow", said Michael, "Dubya was right, you are a mind reader - I was just getting ready to throw my dummy out!. Would you like a ride in my 4x4?"
"No thanks," says Sean, "statistically they are the easiest vehicles to get to the point of no return".
"Thats interesting," replies Michael. Then he gave Sean a slow wink and whispered "Have you ever been with anyone famous?"
"Goodness me Michael, you`re almost a Darwin case, can we change the subject?"
"Certainly," said Michael, "fancy a game of tennis?"
"Don`t start all that old bollox again, you`ll only encourage that PH mob"
"Can you lend me 20k (short term)?" said Michael.
"Don`t be a Turnip" relied Sean,"why do you need it, problems with your plumbing?"
"No", he said, "I`ve just found out that Blunkett is not my father and I`m feeling low".
"Here`s a Judas Priest album - that will make you feel better"
"Wow", said Michael, "Dubya was right, you are a mind reader - I was just getting ready to throw my dummy out!. Would you like a ride in my 4x4?"
"No thanks," says Sean, "statistically they are the easiest vehicles to get to the point of no return".
"Thats interesting," replies Michael. Then he gave Sean a slow wink and whispered "Have you ever been with anyone famous?"
"Goodness me Michael, you`re almost a Darwin case, can we change the subject?"
"Certainly," said Michael, "fancy a game of tennis?"
"Don`t start all that old bollox again, you`ll only encourage that PH mob"
Today was even weirder. I was searching for a decent share trading web-site when I was targeted by a Sean Connery look-alike who had seen me on an internet dating forum. He suggested a hotel in Prague, which looked more like a gypsy camp. And “camp” is something which I’m not, so I told him to bog off – following which he threw his dummy out the pram.
He actually hired a racist, ex-burglar who’s now a hit man. He claimed to be a woman (from some Chav town), so as not to get sent to prison. Anyway, he did get caught and made what can only be described as an animal noise as he was cuffed.
He actually hired a racist, ex-burglar who’s now a hit man. He claimed to be a woman (from some Chav town), so as not to get sent to prison. Anyway, he did get caught and made what can only be described as an animal noise as he was cuffed.
vixpy1 said:
vixpy1 said:
mutt k said:
someone a bit bored today perchance?
So whats different about today
Me? Damn right, I'm bored, bored, bored, bored, BORED.
Why don't just by a small country in the Pacific... and retire!
Do they have Internet access over there? If so, it's not a bad idea. I could set my own Tax laws - do I like the sound of that!
Why don't just by a small country in the Pacific... and retire![/quote]
Do they have Internet access over there? If so, it's not a bad idea. I could set my own Tax laws - do I like the sound of that![/quote]
if the facilities are not up to much you could proclaim yourself the dictator of said country and declare war on the capitalist US build yourself a deep bunker & hide till they've bonbed the sh1t out of the place then tell them you are reformed and will adopt democracy and watch them come and spend millions rebuilding the place with all mod cons...................nearly forgot you have to have vast oil reserves for this plan to work.
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