What do I do now?
Discussion
Two years ago I fled a violent abusive husband, and changed my identity, it was agreed by a District Judge that during all court proceedings involving him my new identity would not be disclosed.
Yesterday I went to court to try and keep the home that I own, this initial hearing was held infront of a Deputy District Judge.It transpired that my Husband had not completed the form required and has no intention of doing so, during this hearing which lasted an hour, my Husband hurled abuse and threats at me and the Judge did nothing, what's more he handed my Husband all the documents which supported my application and include all the details relating to my new identity.
The Judge also gave him a great dealof advice, as he chooses to represent himself, part of this advice included telling him to apply for contact with my children, I spent 20 months and 9K fighting the last application, my eldest Daughter is still waiting to give evidence at a criminal trial against this man.
I'm devastated, and don't know what to do now.It's taken me two years to start to rebuild my life, and I feel like it's all been taken away.
Yesterday I went to court to try and keep the home that I own, this initial hearing was held infront of a Deputy District Judge.It transpired that my Husband had not completed the form required and has no intention of doing so, during this hearing which lasted an hour, my Husband hurled abuse and threats at me and the Judge did nothing, what's more he handed my Husband all the documents which supported my application and include all the details relating to my new identity.
The Judge also gave him a great dealof advice, as he chooses to represent himself, part of this advice included telling him to apply for contact with my children, I spent 20 months and 9K fighting the last application, my eldest Daughter is still waiting to give evidence at a criminal trial against this man.
I'm devastated, and don't know what to do now.It's taken me two years to start to rebuild my life, and I feel like it's all been taken away.
srebbe64 said:
Equally, if you ever need personal protection I'm sure a bunch of us PHers would come immediately to your aid - anywhere in the country. You name it.
I'll second that, having been let down by the BiB on a few occasions I can only assume one is meant to look after oneself these days
It's not the first time I have been let down by the system, and to be honest the whys and wherefores matter not to me at the moment.
I just feel so violated all over again, I thought I'd been really coping well, over the last two years and now I just feel helpless.
I already have restraining orders with power of arrest, but when I've tried to enforce them in the past the police have just let him go on his way.
I just feel so violated all over again, I thought I'd been really coping well, over the last two years and now I just feel helpless.
I already have restraining orders with power of arrest, but when I've tried to enforce them in the past the police have just let him go on his way.
damn "justice" eh? this is absurd and must be a stressful situation for you and children.
in such situations there is no substitute for distance and anonymity (which this foolish judge has screwed up).
is it feasible for you all to go abroad for a few months? we should never have to run away from situations but sometimes life is too short to confront them and fight them in court, etc. especially when, as your case testifies, it is hard to have any confidence in the judicial system.
the police have to take seriously any such situations nowadays; even if is just a threat - they WILL go and see him and warn him off. if he repeatedly intimidates you they can take action - this would accelerate your applying for an injunction/exclusion zone, etc.
hopefully a police PHer can confirm this as a course of action.
keep on smiling, things WILL get better.
in such situations there is no substitute for distance and anonymity (which this foolish judge has screwed up).
is it feasible for you all to go abroad for a few months? we should never have to run away from situations but sometimes life is too short to confront them and fight them in court, etc. especially when, as your case testifies, it is hard to have any confidence in the judicial system.
the police have to take seriously any such situations nowadays; even if is just a threat - they WILL go and see him and warn him off. if he repeatedly intimidates you they can take action - this would accelerate your applying for an injunction/exclusion zone, etc.
hopefully a police PHer can confirm this as a course of action.
keep on smiling, things WILL get better.
I'm stunned. I just sat here going But, but, but, but.
Is there anyway you can contact the previous judge and let him know what happened in this court? Just wondering if they have some internal way of whipping the idot....Has this judge broken the law?
Damn I wish i'd taken a law degree....
Is there anyway you can contact the previous judge and let him know what happened in this court? Just wondering if they have some internal way of whipping the idot....Has this judge broken the law?
Damn I wish i'd taken a law degree....
wedge girl said:
is it feasible for you all to go abroad for a few months?
Unfortunately not, without the consent of said Husband, I could be charged with abduction.
hi ho, was just a thought. i think i'd risk such a future charge however - screw the system, it stinks.
the law really is an ass.
I can't offer much except my heartfelt sympathies. This is an appaling set-back and it is totally understandable that your "old" feelings are coming back (along with the feelings of betrayal by the justice system). It does make you wonder if the world will ever stop letting you down.....
Mayhap some bad karma might sort this bloke out (found out my sister's ex now suffers from severe Alopecia - and he was always so vain
...)
Mayhap some bad karma might sort this bloke out (found out my sister's ex now suffers from severe Alopecia - and he was always so vain
...)I'm really sorry you've had to go through this. It sounds like it might be a long haul for you to get things sorted out properly.
In the meantime, contact the Police, and ask to speak to the domestic violence unit. It doesn't matter whether you have been physically assaulted or not - DV also includes mental, psychological, even financial "violence".
On a practical note, try not to go out alone (more difficult than it sounds, I know), always let someone know who you are with, make sure that if you do not call a friend at a particular time each day, they contact the Police on your behalf, keep a mobile phone with you all the time.
Make sure your home is secure - not just locks on doors and windows, but rubbish isn't left out overnight (consider taking it all to the tip yourself). Keep your car doors locked when you are in the car. Make a written record of anything you feel unhappy about - vehicles outside, "salespeople" calling at the door, phone calls (consider asking BT or whoever to put a trace on your line). Consider CCTV and/or an alarm at home, ideally a monitored one.
The police may be able to provide you with a panic alarm/mobile/CCTV, so you do need to speak to them. If you are struggling with your local station, mail me off thread and I'll try and speak with our local DVLO to see what other advice they can offer.
The Judge sounds like he needs a kicking nearly as much as your ex.
In the meantime, contact the Police, and ask to speak to the domestic violence unit. It doesn't matter whether you have been physically assaulted or not - DV also includes mental, psychological, even financial "violence".
On a practical note, try not to go out alone (more difficult than it sounds, I know), always let someone know who you are with, make sure that if you do not call a friend at a particular time each day, they contact the Police on your behalf, keep a mobile phone with you all the time.
Make sure your home is secure - not just locks on doors and windows, but rubbish isn't left out overnight (consider taking it all to the tip yourself). Keep your car doors locked when you are in the car. Make a written record of anything you feel unhappy about - vehicles outside, "salespeople" calling at the door, phone calls (consider asking BT or whoever to put a trace on your line). Consider CCTV and/or an alarm at home, ideally a monitored one.
The police may be able to provide you with a panic alarm/mobile/CCTV, so you do need to speak to them. If you are struggling with your local station, mail me off thread and I'll try and speak with our local DVLO to see what other advice they can offer.
The Judge sounds like he needs a kicking nearly as much as your ex.
Mrs Fish said:
What has your solicitor/lawyer said about this?
To be honest, after not sleeping last night and the shock of it all I haven't rung him yet.
I guess I'll be looking to go through the whole process again, as no amount of complaining is going to change the fact that he now knows.
Is the abuse documented (Provable beyond doubt). If so, get an injunction forbidding him to be in your vicinity. Failing that, get a boyfriend bigger than him. Failing that, move far away, don't tell him where you're going. Failing that, get a big knife and stab him in the guts (assuming he has some). Failing that, spend the next £9k on someone willing to do the necessary for you. No point in relying on the legal system to give you justice, like everything else in this country it is a myth, sold to the highest bidder years ago.
Dibble, thanks for your comments, I went through the trauma of giving evidence against my Husband in Decemeber of 2003, the CPS only took 3 counts to trial out of just over 60 attacks, he was found not guilty on all counts.
I really can't go through all that again, the flash backs to the trial are worse to cope with than the actually violence.
The prohibitive step orders and injunction I have are to run for life, I never open my windows, and even had the back door bricked up.
What with getting burgled two weeks ago aswell, I would just like to be able to breath again, but feel thats more down to me getting my head back together than anything else, and this time I'm not sure where to start.
I really can't go through all that again, the flash backs to the trial are worse to cope with than the actually violence.
The prohibitive step orders and injunction I have are to run for life, I never open my windows, and even had the back door bricked up.
What with getting burgled two weeks ago aswell, I would just like to be able to breath again, but feel thats more down to me getting my head back together than anything else, and this time I'm not sure where to start.
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