I got shat upon today...

[UKBoB]

By a seagull.

I dont suppose anyone knows why the saying came about 'its considered lucky' when an animal empties the contents of bowles upon you?

[dodgyviper]

Becos it's said by the person standing next to you who didn't get shat on

[Hilts]

Don't know where it came from but there might be something in it luckwise, a friend I was with got shat on big styleee when he was 18 and he's had all the breaks so far.

[mybrainhurts]

Once had the worst hangover ever...as in ill....very, very ill....

The missus made me drive her somewhere....about mid-afternoon.......dragged myself to the door.....

For some inexplicable reason, really fancied an apple, but still felt like death....

Crawled through the front door.....guided apple to mouth.......ready to bite.....

SPLATT......

Bloody pigeon crapped on it........

Rapid retreat....head down bog again.......please let me die......

[Lois]

Think I've only been shat one twice...were both in the same week though!

[2 Smokin Barrels]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Bob a jobbie week?

[esselte]

In our company we talk about seagull management...


Fly high,make a lot of noise and crap on everybody below you

[Trooper2]

I know it's an old one but, "thank God cows can't fly".

>> Edited by Trooper2 on Monday 21st March 20:30

[simonrockman]

Don't stand under Santa's sleigh

[pombstard]

Will always remember my grandfather being sh@ upon by a seagull. My grandmother said she'd get a tissue, to which my grandfather replied,

"Too late, the bloody thing's fields away now."

[mybrainhurts]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

snigger...snigger.....

[2 Smokin Barrels]

mybrainhurts said:

anonymous said: [redacted] snigger...snigger.....

[K1 CERB]

As long as they didn't hit your car!

K1 CERB

[jazzybee]

pombstard said:

Will always remember my grandfather being sh@ upon by a seagull. My grandmother said she'd get a tissue, to which my grandfather replied, "Too late, the bloody thing's fields away now."

[seefive]

Got shat on one Sunday by a pigeon with a diet problem and a bot the size of a cow. Immediately went and spent 50 quid on lottery tickets.

Guess what, in next Saturday's lottery...... I won... b*gger all.

It's utter bol.... erm, nonsense.

[Pigeon]

mybrainhurts said:

Once had the worst hangover ever...as in ill....very, very ill.... The missus made me drive her somewhere....about mid-afternoon.......dragged myself to the door..... For some inexplicable reason, really fancied an apple, but still felt like death.... Crawled through the front door.....guided apple to mouth.......ready to bite..... SPLATT...... Bloody pigeon crapped on it........

No I bloody didn't!

[longq]

esselte said:

In our company we talk about seagull management... Fly high,make a lot of noise and crap on everybody below you

Is there any other sort?

[mybrainhurts]

Pigeon said:

mybrainhurts said: Once had the worst hangover ever...as in ill....very, very ill.... The missus made me drive her somewhere....about mid-afternoon.......dragged myself to the door..... For some inexplicable reason, really fancied an apple, but still felt like death.... Crawled through the front door.....guided apple to mouth.......ready to bite..... SPLATT...... Bloody pigeon crapped on it........ No I bloody didn't!

Yes you bloody did, you low flying shitehawk.....what the hell had you been eating.....?

[towman]

[Trooper2]

There is a small town west of Phoenix Arizona that everyone here seems to pick on, (Gila Bend).

A radio D.J. said this: Do you know why the birds all fly upside down over Gila Bend?



















Because there is nothing worth sh1tting on!