Maintenance and Money advice or ideas please
Discussion
To all you PH'ers out there a request for some advice or places for help please.
First of all my situation and some history.
I seperated from my wife 18 months ago. I have two children 5 and 3. We sold our house last year to release the equity to pay off the majority of our debts. I have bought another house that they live in, in the same village next to the same schools etc..My soon to be ex, works part time as a supply teacher but I pay £2500 per month to her to cover the mortgage on her new house and all the expenses of two kids her car etc...
I live in rented accommodation and still have a large amount of outstanding debt that i am trying to clear. due the nature of my previous debts no-one will consider me for a so called consolidation loan and I cannot secure a loan against the property my wife and kids are in even though half of it is still in my name (confused yet??)
I run my own consulting business that brings in between 3.5k and 7k per month depending on workload.
1. Does anyone know of an organisation that would likely lend me about £35k to consolidate the rest of my debt?
2. Does anyone have any typical examples of maintenance payments for comparison. ( I agreed the figure and want to provide the best for my kids, but now she's earning more and more I am bit pissed off about the new clothes, haircuts and nights out when I'm still forking out 30k a year)
3. Does anyone know a good divorce lawyer?
4. How do I protect my kids welfare and ensure that the money I pay is being used appropiately? The mortgage is in joint names but is paid from her bank account.
pearl's of wisdom please and not too much p*ss taking I know it looks like i'm being taken for a ride, but my kids mean the world to me and I want only the best for them. It's not their fault their parents aren't together.
Thanks
First of all my situation and some history.
I seperated from my wife 18 months ago. I have two children 5 and 3. We sold our house last year to release the equity to pay off the majority of our debts. I have bought another house that they live in, in the same village next to the same schools etc..My soon to be ex, works part time as a supply teacher but I pay £2500 per month to her to cover the mortgage on her new house and all the expenses of two kids her car etc...
I live in rented accommodation and still have a large amount of outstanding debt that i am trying to clear. due the nature of my previous debts no-one will consider me for a so called consolidation loan and I cannot secure a loan against the property my wife and kids are in even though half of it is still in my name (confused yet??)
I run my own consulting business that brings in between 3.5k and 7k per month depending on workload.
1. Does anyone know of an organisation that would likely lend me about £35k to consolidate the rest of my debt?
2. Does anyone have any typical examples of maintenance payments for comparison. ( I agreed the figure and want to provide the best for my kids, but now she's earning more and more I am bit pissed off about the new clothes, haircuts and nights out when I'm still forking out 30k a year)
3. Does anyone know a good divorce lawyer?
4. How do I protect my kids welfare and ensure that the money I pay is being used appropiately? The mortgage is in joint names but is paid from her bank account.
pearl's of wisdom please and not too much p*ss taking I know it looks like i'm being taken for a ride, but my kids mean the world to me and I want only the best for them. It's not their fault their parents aren't together.
Thanks
fugatso said:
due the nature of my previous debts no-one will consider me for a so called consolidation loan and I cannot secure a loan against the property my wife and kids are in even though half of it is still in my name (confused yet??)
why not? what did they say? there's got to be more to it than just that
fugatso said:
now she's earning more and more I am bit pissed off about the new clothes, haircuts and nights out when I'm still forking out 30k a year)
she sounds as if she's beginning to get used to your handouts....
vixpy1 said:Yes, but judging by some of the threads on here about the CSA it might be worth it to keep them out of the situation.
2.5K a month!!!
That sounds like alot to me..
Fugatso, take a look at this page especially the contact info for the Consumer Credit Counselling Service and similar organisations.
Good luck.
Thanks for your responses. The reason for not securing against the property is that 33.3% of the equity is my (soon to be) ex wifes and the remaining equity will be for my kids. Following my experiences with debt over the last few years I do not want to put their home at risk.
As for the 2.5k I know it's well over the odds, but I made the decision to move out ( and no, no-one else was involved) and I wanted my children to be able to have a full time mum, this will change with the advent of them both being in full time education, but I guess I need to ensure that I am not taken for too much more of a ride.
Thanks again
As for the 2.5k I know it's well over the odds, but I made the decision to move out ( and no, no-one else was involved) and I wanted my children to be able to have a full time mum, this will change with the advent of them both being in full time education, but I guess I need to ensure that I am not taken for too much more of a ride.
Thanks again
Firstly, I don't think that your current payments to your wife are sustainable. Regardless of the nature of the split you are entitled to have a reasonable quality of life and that is not possible with your current income after expenses, payments for maintainance and debt. You will be no use to anyone if you continue like this.
As for maintainance; You are paying too much. It does not cost £30k per year plus a house to live in to bring up 2 children. There will be many families managing on far less. I suggest that you look at your last years accounts or tax bill and find out exactly what your last years earnings were. You may bring in £3.5-£7K but your actual earnings are best represented by your tax bill. The resident parent is entitled to 20% of your net income (ie income less tax) and I suggest that you change your payments to your wife to this amount. You can always make extra payments when ever you feel the need for special items and at least in the instance of these extra payments you can be sure the money is going to the children.
If you are paying a mortgage for a property in your childs name then that amount can be used to reduce your net income and I suggest that you take this into account as well.
Any debts that you ran up prior to the split that were for the benefit of the family as a whole ( I would exclude business debts here) will also count to reduce your net income.
As for maintance for your wife; The 20% payable for the children contains an element for maintance of the resident parent. Your wife also has responsibilities, including financial, for your children. Any extra maintance you consider paying to your wife should take into account your income and living expenses after child maintance and her income from work. If your wifes income is greater than yours after child maintance and living expenses I suggest you pay her no maintance for herself. If your income is still greater after deductions I suggest you pay her no more than 50% of the difference between your 2 incomes.
As for the debt if you can manage the payments then just carry on. If you can't manage write to the lenders by recorded delivery, explain your situation, provide evidence of it, and give them a repayment schedule that you think you can manage and ask to freeze all interst payments. If they refuse you can stop making payments and inform them that you are seeking proffesional help to reschedule debt - they'll usually come to their senses because they know the courts will follow your original reasonable repayment plan. It is likely however the lenders will reschedule on more favourable terms.
Since it appears you have few assets other than your ability to generate an income you are peversly in a strong posistion, since there is no action anyone can take to enforce payment. If you stop working they are all screwed and you'll hardly be worse off.
As for maintainance; You are paying too much. It does not cost £30k per year plus a house to live in to bring up 2 children. There will be many families managing on far less. I suggest that you look at your last years accounts or tax bill and find out exactly what your last years earnings were. You may bring in £3.5-£7K but your actual earnings are best represented by your tax bill. The resident parent is entitled to 20% of your net income (ie income less tax) and I suggest that you change your payments to your wife to this amount. You can always make extra payments when ever you feel the need for special items and at least in the instance of these extra payments you can be sure the money is going to the children.
If you are paying a mortgage for a property in your childs name then that amount can be used to reduce your net income and I suggest that you take this into account as well.
Any debts that you ran up prior to the split that were for the benefit of the family as a whole ( I would exclude business debts here) will also count to reduce your net income.
As for maintance for your wife; The 20% payable for the children contains an element for maintance of the resident parent. Your wife also has responsibilities, including financial, for your children. Any extra maintance you consider paying to your wife should take into account your income and living expenses after child maintance and her income from work. If your wifes income is greater than yours after child maintance and living expenses I suggest you pay her no maintance for herself. If your income is still greater after deductions I suggest you pay her no more than 50% of the difference between your 2 incomes.
As for the debt if you can manage the payments then just carry on. If you can't manage write to the lenders by recorded delivery, explain your situation, provide evidence of it, and give them a repayment schedule that you think you can manage and ask to freeze all interst payments. If they refuse you can stop making payments and inform them that you are seeking proffesional help to reschedule debt - they'll usually come to their senses because they know the courts will follow your original reasonable repayment plan. It is likely however the lenders will reschedule on more favourable terms.
Since it appears you have few assets other than your ability to generate an income you are peversly in a strong posistion, since there is no action anyone can take to enforce payment. If you stop working they are all screwed and you'll hardly be worse off.
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