Taking the piss....
Discussion
In case you need to improve your technique; here's how to piss properly (for men), from this site http://monkeyfilter.com/link.php/8144
Don't know if it works, but it sounds like fun to try
*efficiently urination for males:
first of all, learn to urinate while in a seated position. It is more relaxing, less spray intensive, and the spreading of the loins allows for a relatively thorough emptying of the bladder. Spread legs slightly for optimal effect.
Now as most people are aware, the muscular control involved in a complete urination is a bit complex: there is the standard contraction
initiates and sustains urination, but at the end, you squeeze your PC muscle to get that last squirt out. Now after you do the PC squeeze a couple times, place your right thumb on the dorsal base of your penis (dorsal is upper, ventral is the surface that faces floor), and your middle three fingers (of same hand) on the perineum (http://classes.kumc.edu/son/nrsg835/images/perineum.GIF). You now have a pinch grip, so go ahead and squeeze your fingers. Once you have a firm grip in squeezed position, slide your hand upwards, in the direction of your shaft. The loose skin will allow you to do this without actually sliding your fingers against the skin. This will bring any residual urine up to the shaft area.
Now pinch your penis with your left hand, so that your left thumb is just forward of your right thumb, and your left fingers are forward of your right fingers (with balls inbetween the left and right fingers). Continue to slide your left hand upwards, and those last residual drops of urine will exit your urethra, at which point you can let them drip onto your right fingers (which you can remove from the grip once you gripped with left hand), or absorb them with tissue paper. Either way, be sure to wash hands thoroughly.
Say goodbye to urine drip forever. This is the best technique I have developed for such purposes.
It sounds complicated, but I just wanted to give as unambiguous and detailed description as possible. In reality, it takes a couple extra seconds, and is very easy and intuitive.
Don't know if it works, but it sounds like fun to try
*efficiently urination for males:
first of all, learn to urinate while in a seated position. It is more relaxing, less spray intensive, and the spreading of the loins allows for a relatively thorough emptying of the bladder. Spread legs slightly for optimal effect.
Now as most people are aware, the muscular control involved in a complete urination is a bit complex: there is the standard contraction
initiates and sustains urination, but at the end, you squeeze your PC muscle to get that last squirt out. Now after you do the PC squeeze a couple times, place your right thumb on the dorsal base of your penis (dorsal is upper, ventral is the surface that faces floor), and your middle three fingers (of same hand) on the perineum (http://classes.kumc.edu/son/nrsg835/images/perineum.GIF). You now have a pinch grip, so go ahead and squeeze your fingers. Once you have a firm grip in squeezed position, slide your hand upwards, in the direction of your shaft. The loose skin will allow you to do this without actually sliding your fingers against the skin. This will bring any residual urine up to the shaft area.
Now pinch your penis with your left hand, so that your left thumb is just forward of your right thumb, and your left fingers are forward of your right fingers (with balls inbetween the left and right fingers). Continue to slide your left hand upwards, and those last residual drops of urine will exit your urethra, at which point you can let them drip onto your right fingers (which you can remove from the grip once you gripped with left hand), or absorb them with tissue paper. Either way, be sure to wash hands thoroughly.
Say goodbye to urine drip forever. This is the best technique I have developed for such purposes.
It sounds complicated, but I just wanted to give as unambiguous and detailed description as possible. In reality, it takes a couple extra seconds, and is very easy and intuitive.
2 Smokin Barrels said:
The real tester of this is to imbibe twelve pints of Guiness without a waz. Wait two hours, then release.
....I'm just off to try it, see you at 21.30....
Hic
....DDDDDDDDId I tell YOU THATA I LOVE YPU. I do i reALLLLy do. I LOFVRE YOU . DiDD I TELL Yoy THat I REAlllllllllly.... jacobyte said:
I still need to figure how to control the random mid-pee 3-way directional split that sometimes goes too wide to allow all jets to land in the bowl. This usually happens the morning after a heavy night, so it's harder to deal with. 
>> Edited by jacobyte on Tuesday 19th April 17:07
I've always found it happens with the first post-coital slash, when the Jap's-eye is gunked up....
wedg1e said:
I still need to figure how to control the random mid-pee 3-way directional split that sometimes goes too wide to allow all jets to land in the bowl. This usually happens the morning after a heavy night, so it's harder to deal with.
>> Edited by jacobyte on Tuesday 19th April 17:07
I've always found it happens with the first post-coital slash, when the Jap's-eye is gunked up....
Tell him to wipe his face & get off the pot then
funniest thing I've read in ages.....){kind=link}
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