Online dating advert - if you were a SCP operative

[gh0st]

So if the people who manned safety camera vans and those who work for the SCP actually had a shred of a life and wanted to find a woman - would this be how their advert would read?

"Middle aged guy would like to meet petty smallminded woman to enjoy times in listening to my "train noises" collection and imposing my pathetic view on others. Looking for long term relationship - but not too fast. Must take things slowly as speed dating kills. Interests include fishing (not sea fishing, too fast!) Speedboating (at +/-5MPH), trackdays (as long as there are no noisy vehicles involved) and fly fishing (as long as the rod doesnt move to fast). Please reply by mail as e-mail is above the speed limit."


Any additions?

(sorry but i was really bored at work)

[Dakkon]

You forgot to add the hidden twisted fantasies bit, likes causing pain on others, likes to tie people up, likes hand cuffs etc etc

[cotty]

shouldnt it start "failed copper seeks..........

[wolves_wanderer]

Why would they need a woman? I thought they were all ws