Poncey Supercar Owners & The Filth Test...
Discussion
Here's fun.
On Saturday, some geezer turned up for a large Twix in a truly magnificent, only just unboxed DB9.
Steadfastly unfazed by his desire to discover the finer points of indulgent confectionary, your 'umble chimp here frogmarched Arnold Toupee straight back ouitside and [i]demanded[/i] an audience with Ulric's finst.
Yes, yes, yes, of course it was sublime and bla-de-bla-de-blah...
Thing is was the truly shocking mindset of the keyholder.
Now, anyone who appreciates the oft-mentioned [i]Cheshire Set[/i] problem with North Westerly performance car usage, as illuminated by Jeremiah Clarkson in numerous pieces, will know from whence this frankly distasteful approach hails.
Sitting in the passenger seat and forcing the slightly reticent chappie to [i]do the decent thing[/i], my foaming passion was immediately desiccated by the comments coming from the aforementioned Arnold Narcissist.
"This is my 9th ([b]ninth[/b]) Aston {the guy was 12, ffs}/ I only ever put 2000 miles on a car then sell it and at least get my moiney back/ the wife's just got a 997/ I'm first on the list for a Volante and I was one of the first for this one/ I'm getting a V8 Vantage," ad nauseum.
Now, forgive me for sounding like a fellow with an unhealthily high octane-blood sugar level but this was a moment for savouring the event of premium motoring, revelling in the finery of cascading wooden dashboard watewrfalls and bejewelled instrument podules...
Alas, no: Group Captain Rolex Permatan was in it for one purpose and one purpose alone: the adulation of others.
2,000 miles and then it's gone. Not run in. Every aspect of it's repertoire entirely unexplored. "Have you explored the private test track that runs oddly parallel with the M61," I enquired? "Oh no," came the response, "you just can't use these cars, day to day."
It was desperate. The tiger caged, Lion King emasculated: all for the sake of a vapid love of products from a company called Saint Tropez...
Tragically, this guy is far from unique. I've seen it time and again. Charlies who prance about in everything from the Cayenne Turbo to 360 Spider and all points in between. They can obvioulsy make the monthlies but they don't have what it takes to avoid my contempt.
Why don't they body build or something? What feeble, stereotypical behaviour that otherwise tarnishes the true, PH Fezza owning hoon artist? The cars are always immaculate, too. The puffs.
That's why my beetle is a presentational disgrace: apart from several farmyard carcasses melded with parts of the stone peppered snout and chin scraped carbon shield underneath, it sports a wealth of petrified flora on the inside and as an overall effect looks as though Walter Rhorl has just unsympathetically razzed it through a field and then poured uriah all over it's ingoble persona.
Oh sure, it gets the occasional Zymol treatment ~ I'm not a [i]complete[/i] heathen ~ but the day it finishes up like some posturing flatulate's posing pouch is the day I shall seek out the bullet of Lamott and finish things orf.
Yes folks, some people may have the necessary but are entirely devoid of the requisite tat.
The Dogs! :banghead::silly::driving::rotate::mad:
On Saturday, some geezer turned up for a large Twix in a truly magnificent, only just unboxed DB9.
Steadfastly unfazed by his desire to discover the finer points of indulgent confectionary, your 'umble chimp here frogmarched Arnold Toupee straight back ouitside and [i]demanded[/i] an audience with Ulric's finst.
Yes, yes, yes, of course it was sublime and bla-de-bla-de-blah...
Thing is was the truly shocking mindset of the keyholder.
Now, anyone who appreciates the oft-mentioned [i]Cheshire Set[/i] problem with North Westerly performance car usage, as illuminated by Jeremiah Clarkson in numerous pieces, will know from whence this frankly distasteful approach hails.
Sitting in the passenger seat and forcing the slightly reticent chappie to [i]do the decent thing[/i], my foaming passion was immediately desiccated by the comments coming from the aforementioned Arnold Narcissist.
"This is my 9th ([b]ninth[/b]) Aston {the guy was 12, ffs}/ I only ever put 2000 miles on a car then sell it and at least get my moiney back/ the wife's just got a 997/ I'm first on the list for a Volante and I was one of the first for this one/ I'm getting a V8 Vantage," ad nauseum.
Now, forgive me for sounding like a fellow with an unhealthily high octane-blood sugar level but this was a moment for savouring the event of premium motoring, revelling in the finery of cascading wooden dashboard watewrfalls and bejewelled instrument podules...
Alas, no: Group Captain Rolex Permatan was in it for one purpose and one purpose alone: the adulation of others.
2,000 miles and then it's gone. Not run in. Every aspect of it's repertoire entirely unexplored. "Have you explored the private test track that runs oddly parallel with the M61," I enquired? "Oh no," came the response, "you just can't use these cars, day to day."
It was desperate. The tiger caged, Lion King emasculated: all for the sake of a vapid love of products from a company called Saint Tropez...
Tragically, this guy is far from unique. I've seen it time and again. Charlies who prance about in everything from the Cayenne Turbo to 360 Spider and all points in between. They can obvioulsy make the monthlies but they don't have what it takes to avoid my contempt.
Why don't they body build or something? What feeble, stereotypical behaviour that otherwise tarnishes the true, PH Fezza owning hoon artist? The cars are always immaculate, too. The puffs.
That's why my beetle is a presentational disgrace: apart from several farmyard carcasses melded with parts of the stone peppered snout and chin scraped carbon shield underneath, it sports a wealth of petrified flora on the inside and as an overall effect looks as though Walter Rhorl has just unsympathetically razzed it through a field and then poured uriah all over it's ingoble persona.
Oh sure, it gets the occasional Zymol treatment ~ I'm not a [i]complete[/i] heathen ~ but the day it finishes up like some posturing flatulate's posing pouch is the day I shall seek out the bullet of Lamott and finish things orf.
Yes folks, some people may have the necessary but are entirely devoid of the requisite tat.
The Dogs! :banghead::silly::driving::rotate::mad:
derestrictor said:
They can obvioulsy make the monthlies but they don't have what it takes to avoid my contempt.
Yes folks, some people may have the necessary but are entirely devoid of the requisite tat.
The Dogs!
...but do you honestly think they care in the slightest what an enthusaist thinks of them? They hold you in contempt - so I guess it's equitable.
...and I assume you meant "requisite taste"? In which case I agree entirely, as many have far more than the requisite amount of tat necessary to demonstrate a total lack of taste.
>> Edited by alexkp on Monday 6th June 10:21
derestrictor said:I trust that you explained to him how he must have the latest in fine selection boxes if he is to ever hold his head up amongst his peers.
Steadfastly unfazed by his desire to discover the finer points of indulgent confectionary, your 'umble chimp here frogmarched Arnold Toupee straight back ouitside and demanded an audience with Ulric's finst.
And then royally fleeced him for the pleasure of having all of your stock delivered to his faux-mansion.
I drive every car I happen to be the keeper of , however briefly. From a fiat 126, metro to my current steed, its price is something I have to afford, its value is in its driving.
Would be the same if I owned said DB9 , or miura etc. I wouldnt drive a classic day to day but it wouldnt be a museum piece.
>> Edited by robdickinson on Monday 6th June 10:22
Would be the same if I owned said DB9 , or miura etc. I wouldnt drive a classic day to day but it wouldnt be a museum piece.
>> Edited by robdickinson on Monday 6th June 10:22
PetrolTed said:
"Driven not polished"
A perfect way to describe both the 320 and the chim. And yes, both were well driven yesterday. Neither would have had much posing success either. First you hear them, then you see them, then you don't cause I'm long gone. None of this hanging around trying to look cool stuff.
Hurray for fast cars, driven fast!
Der: That is a shocking way to use a DB9!
derestrictor said:
Tragically, this guy is far from unique. I've seen it time and again. Charlies who prance about in everything from the Cayenne Turbo to 360 Spider and all points in between. They can obvioulsy make the monthlies but they don't have what it takes to avoid my contempt.
Agree completely. But as Yertis said there is a silver lining to the frippery of the fopps, the fact that they absorb the horrific early year costs, so enthusiasts like us can then drive the balls off the car - without even worrying about putting adverse milage on it as there are so few to start with.
So much as I hate the mentality, their cast offs are very welcome! (as long as the spec a manual gearbox anyway!)
anonymous said:
[redacted]
No, no, Alex - I did mean tat, as in Fawlty Tower's 'Melbury Tat' and not to be confused with the false peer's actual wherewithall, which is to say, the noble state of accepting the patina of age and the grace that accompanies it.
The same day, I was having my own car valetted, as much to remove the acidities and oxidants as secure the Alderley Edge cooing rights but now, barely 48 hours later, it looks like a Beowulfen pidgeon from Asgard has disgorged it's celestial innards upon the blasted thing.
You just can't keep a car clean, in Albion, so...why be anal about it?
I don't really see the problem myself; he is free to buy whatever car he wishes. He may not be a driving enthusiast, his enthusiasm in the car instead lying in its aesthetic appeal. This is probably how Alfa Romeo sells the majority of its cars. Perhaps the board ought to bring in some sort of test whereby prospective owners have to identify the headlamps of 20 different cars, pass a time trial round a track and, while blindfolded and faced with a selection of 50, select the track rod end from a 1979 Austin Princess.
derestrictor said:Do you run a sweetie shop, der?
Here's fun.
On Saturday, some geezer turned up for a large Twix in a truly magnificent, only just unboxed DB9.
Steadfastly unfazed by his desire to discover the finer points of indulgent confectionary, your 'umble chimp here frogmarched Arnold Toupee straight back ouitside and demanded an audience with Ulric's finst.
Personally I don't see the problem with someone using their car as an asset. For him it was at worst a way of not losing money on a car, I wish I could achieve that occasionally.
My brother does a similar thing, orders a new car the day he picks the current one up, after a 12 month wait sells current sometimes even for a small loss. But drives a new car all the time and someone else takes the loss.
If it was a house or a watch you would be patting them on the back for good sense.
My brother does a similar thing, orders a new car the day he picks the current one up, after a 12 month wait sells current sometimes even for a small loss. But drives a new car all the time and someone else takes the loss.
If it was a house or a watch you would be patting them on the back for good sense.
voyds9 said:
Personally I don't see the problem with someone using their car as an asset. For him it was at worst a way of not losing money on a car, I wish I could achieve that occasionally.
My brother does a similar thing, orders a new car the day he picks the current one up, after a 12 month wait sells current sometimes even for a small loss. But drives a new car all the time and someone else takes the loss.
If it was a house or a watch you would be patting them on the back for good sense.
It's not an asset though, is it? It's a pose.
That's what I'm slating, as an enthusiast, on an enthusiast website.
voyds9 said:
If it was a house or a watch you would be patting them on the back for good sense.
Ah, but a house is (generally speaking) an appreciating asset and a watch is 99% of the time intended to be used as a piece of jewellery.
A sports car, on the other hand, is meant to be Driven and if you're not going to Drive it, and don't want to lose much money, just get a japanese saloon and keep it forever.
>> Edited by pdV6 on Monday 6th June 11:11
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