Did I do the wrong thing?
Discussion
Mind you, my mother does this. She seems to get by on 3 hours sleep a night, and thinks nothing of calling up at 2am on a tuesday. Then she always says "It's very quiet there, is everything alright? I assumed you'd be in the pub. Oh well, I'll let you get back to sleep...but anyway, what have you been up to...."
40 minutes later I'm still on the phone
40 minutes later I'm still on the phone
damn, just wrote a lengthy reply to this and Hussy's bastard batman trailer wiped out my computer just as i hit 'submit reply'.
so then... call him, now. diffuse the situation. not for him, cos he clearly is a
and you have done nothing to apologise for. after all, if you act like a , you're gonna get treated like a .
but, you are wasting valuable time and energy thinking about this, energy you badly need elsewhere i reckon. so call him, for no three reasons. firstly: you'll no longer feel a for doing nothing wrong. secondly: he'll feel a for not apologizing first (which he clearly never was going to do) and thirdly: the family wont be able to say that you didn't do absolutely everything you could to diffuse an unnecessary point of friction. Presto chango, he feels what you're feeling now, you don't.
Do it now, waste no more time thinking about it, and start to feel better immediately. its not a bitter pill to swallow if you don't really mean it. you're doing it for everyone except him. keep a smile on your face the whole time, youre voice will reflect this, but significantly, it wont rumble your blag, guv'nor.
or, you know, gimme his address and ill go round his house tonight at 11pm.
so then... call him, now. diffuse the situation. not for him, cos he clearly is a
and you have done nothing to apologise for. after all, if you act like a , you're gonna get treated like a . but, you are wasting valuable time and energy thinking about this, energy you badly need elsewhere i reckon. so call him, for no three reasons. firstly: you'll no longer feel a
for doing nothing wrong. secondly: he'll feel a for not apologizing first (which he clearly never was going to do) and thirdly: the family wont be able to say that you didn't do absolutely everything you could to diffuse an unnecessary point of friction. Presto chango, he feels what you're feeling now, you don't. Do it now, waste no more time thinking about it, and start to feel better immediately. its not a bitter pill to swallow if you don't really mean it. you're doing it for everyone except him. keep a smile on your face the whole time, youre voice will reflect this, but significantly, it wont rumble your blag, guv'nor.
or, you know, gimme his address and ill go round his house tonight at 11pm.
Sounds like nobody's a winner.
Last night my Fiancee's ex husband (and father of her children) emailed us to say he's dropping his maintenance payments (contrary to a court order) because he's seen his children a couple of times since Christmas and he is due a refund from us for the time he has spent with them. He followed this up with nasty personal accusations.
Oh, and this comes just 4 days before we're getting married.
The last major financial event in our lives was moving house. 2 weeks before we were due to move, he put a charge on our house, meaning we had to take him to court just so we (and his children) could move. It cost us over £10,000 in legal fees and nothing was achieved, other than them lifting the charge.
Some people in this world have serious problems, and there is nothing you can do about it. If it were illegal to be an arsehole, then he would be in for life.
Last night my Fiancee's ex husband (and father of her children) emailed us to say he's dropping his maintenance payments (contrary to a court order) because he's seen his children a couple of times since Christmas and he is due a refund from us for the time he has spent with them. He followed this up with nasty personal accusations.
Oh, and this comes just 4 days before we're getting married.
The last major financial event in our lives was moving house. 2 weeks before we were due to move, he put a charge on our house, meaning we had to take him to court just so we (and his children) could move. It cost us over £10,000 in legal fees and nothing was achieved, other than them lifting the charge.
Some people in this world have serious problems, and there is nothing you can do about it. If it were illegal to be an arsehole, then he would be in for life.
bilko2 said:
The important thing is that your GF has backed you up. I would let the outburst stand for the moment.
Try not to worry about it too much as these things have a habit of becoming bigger in your head than they realy are, thus causing a bigger problem.
Very true, good thinking.
BR, got to agree with Nervous on this one as you've done nothing wrong. Sounds like this Ben character has a few issues and he's trying to take it out on others rather than sort them out.
You need to make it clear to him that his behaviour isn't acceptable in as much that it's peeving your mrs, the kids and you.
I doubt it's a conversation that's to be had over the phone though, possibly best on neutral ground too.
ETA: It maybe difficult but if you can avoid swearing it will make him realise that you really mean what you say rather than just venting vitriol.
>> Edited by AC79xxx on Wednesday 8th June 10:12
nervous said:
you are wasting valuable time and energy thinking about this, energy you badly need elsewhere i reckon. so call him, for no three reasons. firstly: you'll no longer feel a
You need to make it clear to him that his behaviour isn't acceptable in as much that it's peeving your mrs, the kids and you.
I doubt it's a conversation that's to be had over the phone though, possibly best on neutral ground too.
ETA: It maybe difficult but if you can avoid swearing it will make him realise that you really mean what you say rather than just venting vitriol.
>> Edited by AC79xxx on Wednesday 8th June 10:12
I wouldn’t dream of apologising. I would like to say ‘just forget about it’, but I know I would stew over it for a couple of days going through loads of ‘what I should have said/could have said/will say in the future’ scenarios.
Advice from someone that did not speak to his parents for 10 years because of few niggles. Maybe I should keep my nose out.
Advice from someone that did not speak to his parents for 10 years because of few niggles. Maybe I should keep my nose out.
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