Delicate matter - see inside ---->
Discussion
Friend of mine lost a massive amount of weight because she could no longer take part in activities that were important to her husband - like hiking, climbing etc.
How about trying to both get involved in some regular activity/sport - gym is pretty dull to be honest, so something more interesting.
NotShallow said:
Guys
I'm a regular Ph'er, but I've created this Log-in as my girlfriend sometimes looks in on PH & knows my normal username (I'll explain below)
Before I go any further, all I want is sensible & constructive comments here, as I am genuinely at a loss and I'm not sure where to go with this.
So here goes...........
My girlfriend is overweight, she should be roughly a size 12, however she's a 14-16 (more 16) at the moment. This in itself is not particularly a problem but she simply doesn't suit it at all. I mean, when she's naked, she just doesn't look nice at all - one can easily tell she's not meant to be that size naturally.
And I'm ashamed to say that it's getting to me now
She has tried various diets & does occasionally go to they gym but on the whole, she doesn't really appear to have much motivation.
On the opposite end of the scale, I got to the gym every night and my fitness level is at the highest it's ever been and I've even put on weight (I used to be 9.5 stone but now I'm 10.5)
I would have thought this would motivate her but it hasn't, even though she can see how much happier I am with myself as a result.
Bottom line is, I love her immeasureably and our sex life is amazing but I'm really starting to get hung up about how she looks at the moment.
How the hell do I approach this? She knows how I feel (except that she doesn't know how much it's getting to me) It's obviously a sensitive issue and whenever we talk about it, it almost always ends up in a bickering match!
HELP!
I have found that if a woman sees a photograph of herself from an unflattering position, and preferably not knowing she was snapped, works wonders for "motivation".
Ouch, I have a feeling that if she has read this, then she may have an inkling as to who you are.
I have found myself in this situation and it is not easy. You say that you love her, but quite rightly, you fell in love with her shape as well as personality and have a 'right' to expect that she will look after herself physically.
God I feel like Claire Raynor!
Are you encouraging her to join you at the gym? Do you praise her when she does try? Do you have sporting interests that you can share, like badmington....? Will you tuck into a pizza for dinner, cause you can, but think in the back of your mind that your girlfriend shouldn't be doing the same?
You may be able help a lot more that you are currently!
If none of the above applies, then you deserve better, so dump the salad dodger and get a perfect 10 on your arm
Good luck fella.
I have found myself in this situation and it is not easy. You say that you love her, but quite rightly, you fell in love with her shape as well as personality and have a 'right' to expect that she will look after herself physically.
God I feel like Claire Raynor!
Are you encouraging her to join you at the gym? Do you praise her when she does try? Do you have sporting interests that you can share, like badmington....? Will you tuck into a pizza for dinner, cause you can, but think in the back of your mind that your girlfriend shouldn't be doing the same?
You may be able help a lot more that you are currently!
If none of the above applies, then you deserve better, so dump the salad dodger and get a perfect 10 on your arm
Good luck fella.
Forgetting all of the "you should love her and not just her body etc etc etc" I know being overweight effects everything, least of all how you look in clothes
Looking at it from the way you have approached this thread, why dont you go to the gym and do classes together - great way to exercise and help each other out. Plus you can give her encouragement and show her from week to week that she is getting fitter/stronger/slimmer etc etc.
You mention that your in the best shape ever - do you think from this that you have prahaps got a little vein?
I've recently lost 3.5St and i admit that I look at overweight people as lazy, because i used to be. I know its not right but at least i'm honest.
Looking at it from the way you have approached this thread, why dont you go to the gym and do classes together - great way to exercise and help each other out. Plus you can give her encouragement and show her from week to week that she is getting fitter/stronger/slimmer etc etc.
You mention that your in the best shape ever - do you think from this that you have prahaps got a little vein?
I've recently lost 3.5St and i admit that I look at overweight people as lazy, because i used to be. I know its not right but at least i'm honest.
If you love her, her looks/weight should not matter. She should keep it in check for health purposes - and be aware that she is likely to put on a LOT more during pregnancy and it will be all but impossible to take off afterwards without tremendous will power. Enjoy, having more of her to cuddle 
I've been in similar situation but now it's me who's put on the lard
The way we started it was to make exercise a way to spend time together. Both my wife & I dislike the gym so we started cycling together, swimming together, going to spinning classes etc. The motivation was spending the time together while doing something beneficial in the form of exercise. Everyone is motivated differently but often people find it good to exercise with someone.
I found that I had to swallow my pride & go to aerobics a couple of times. Going for jogs & running much slower was difficult but it's still exercise & you are both benefiting.
It is a difficult topic & you have my sympathy! My wife on the other hand just calls me a fat bastard! If I had said it to her I would be 6' underground now.
The way we started it was to make exercise a way to spend time together. Both my wife & I dislike the gym so we started cycling together, swimming together, going to spinning classes etc. The motivation was spending the time together while doing something beneficial in the form of exercise. Everyone is motivated differently but often people find it good to exercise with someone.
I found that I had to swallow my pride & go to aerobics a couple of times. Going for jogs & running much slower was difficult but it's still exercise & you are both benefiting.
It is a difficult topic & you have my sympathy! My wife on the other hand just calls me a fat bastard! If I had said it to her I would be 6' underground now.
..... my left leg weighs more than that!
I’m in the ‘find something physical you both enjoy’ camp and then start the, wow you look good, etc comments as the weight starts to come off.
Not just being a perve but I have always found upping the sex life the best and most enjoyable way of losing those extra pounds! So when the munchies start to creep in for a snack before bed/etc get naked instead
Not just being a perve but I have always found upping the sex life the best and most enjoyable way of losing those extra pounds! So when the munchies start to creep in for a snack before bed/etc get naked instead
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