Problem at work
Discussion
I have a nightmare boss. Totally polar opposite person to me, nothing at all in common, very unhelpful, no backup or assistance available and generally rude. He's been bad since I joined but recently things have been getting worse. He's the kind of person who's eyes light up wheen he spots a mistake or problem as he can entertain the world with quips about why he wouldnt have dont it - even down to errors in excel etc! He is one of the big owners, and only in charge of our team of 3.
This morning I was told off (I'm 28 year old FFS) for not wearing a tie to work. 'My tie is in my pocket and I was going to put it on when I got to my desk' I replied, to which this gurning Darth Vader impressionist replied that it should be on before I enter the building - it was 8.30 (officially start at 9)and I travel 2 hours into work each day. 300 people work here - the majority dont wear ties at all - he 'enters the building' in cycling shorts FFS. Now I know ties arent the issue but this is the general crap I have to face, while I am *supposed* to be a professionally qualified person in high demand.
My daily battle of attrition has become so bad that I have decided to leave as it is totally killing my self esteem and also leaving me feeling unable to do the job I have trained (for 6 years) to do. I travel 4 hours a day to be treated like a disliked pet which is not good, to put it mildly.
Is leaving without another job lined up totally stupid or should I just stick 2 fingers up and live with it? I could survive a couple of months (no kids etc) without work, although not in great luxury. Would this look bad to my next employer? Would it look good (no/less notice to work) etc.
Any thoughts?
This morning I was told off (I'm 28 year old FFS) for not wearing a tie to work. 'My tie is in my pocket and I was going to put it on when I got to my desk' I replied, to which this gurning Darth Vader impressionist replied that it should be on before I enter the building - it was 8.30 (officially start at 9)and I travel 2 hours into work each day. 300 people work here - the majority dont wear ties at all - he 'enters the building' in cycling shorts FFS. Now I know ties arent the issue but this is the general crap I have to face, while I am *supposed* to be a professionally qualified person in high demand.
My daily battle of attrition has become so bad that I have decided to leave as it is totally killing my self esteem and also leaving me feeling unable to do the job I have trained (for 6 years) to do. I travel 4 hours a day to be treated like a disliked pet which is not good, to put it mildly.
Is leaving without another job lined up totally stupid or should I just stick 2 fingers up and live with it? I could survive a couple of months (no kids etc) without work, although not in great luxury. Would this look bad to my next employer? Would it look good (no/less notice to work) etc.
Any thoughts?
first of all secretly put a potato or banana in his exhaust pipe!
then maybe start searching for another job if this is possible, and apply for it, then leave the other place stating that said person is doing you no favours and leave. thats what i'd do anyway.
or you could go to someone in a higher place than him and complain
no it might not much much help but thats what i'd do
then maybe start searching for another job if this is possible, and apply for it, then leave the other place stating that said person is doing you no favours and leave. thats what i'd do anyway.
or you could go to someone in a higher place than him and complain
no it might not much much help but thats what i'd do
If you're really intent on leaving, start looking around for a new job now and only hand your notice in when you've got something to move on to.
I left my first job when I had a huge row with my boss (which had been on the cards for a while). In the heat of the moment I basically told him that he could stick his job up his arse - *very* satisfying at the time!
I thought that I could get by for a couple of months whilst I sorted something out - it took 6.
No matter how bad things seem to be, it's not as soul destroying as being totally skint and unemployed.
>> Edited by option click on Wednesday 27th July 16:16
I left my first job when I had a huge row with my boss (which had been on the cards for a while). In the heat of the moment I basically told him that he could stick his job up his arse - *very* satisfying at the time!
I thought that I could get by for a couple of months whilst I sorted something out - it took 6.
No matter how bad things seem to be, it's not as soul destroying as being totally skint and unemployed.
>> Edited by option click on Wednesday 27th July 16:16
deciding to do something about it all and leave will help you feel better about it all, when ever he starts accept what he has said and call a job agent, using the company phone of course.
anyone in the company you can talk to in confidence, ?
make notes on what he does, when he does it, and if possible see if there are witnesses to the little things he goes off on.
might see a pattern so you know when to keep your head down.
is it just you he starts on? have a look at everyone else see if you can see why or everyone, how do they cope with him?
i wouldnt jump ship, have been in both positions out of work and with a bullying boss, and nothing gives greater satidfaction than taking on loads of work, becming responsible for plenty and then handing in your notice, knowing that he will have to carry the can or even ask you nicely to stay..
:-)
anyone in the company you can talk to in confidence, ?
make notes on what he does, when he does it, and if possible see if there are witnesses to the little things he goes off on.
might see a pattern so you know when to keep your head down.
is it just you he starts on? have a look at everyone else see if you can see why or everyone, how do they cope with him?
i wouldnt jump ship, have been in both positions out of work and with a bullying boss, and nothing gives greater satidfaction than taking on loads of work, becming responsible for plenty and then handing in your notice, knowing that he will have to carry the can or even ask you nicely to stay..
:-)
Walk away. These are the people you do NOT need in life, the next thing they ask is will you work another couple of hours etc for the good of the company.
Start looking now, do not leave it till its too late.
Good luck.
PS: I worked for a VERY abusive and threating boss who tried to blackmail me and still owes £15,000 in wages !
Start looking now, do not leave it till its too late.
Good luck.
PS: I worked for a VERY abusive and threating boss who tried to blackmail me and still owes £15,000 in wages !
Doesn't look like the tw@ will do much for you as far as references go, but I've always tried to line something up before jumping ship, it takes the uncertainty out of things and gives you something to look forward to whilst you're working your notice or not dependent upon what sort of job you're in and if they like to walk people to the door or not.
I've worked for idiots like this before and there is nothing you can do but leave 'em to it, they are a kind of cancer that kills companies.
Good luck.
I've worked for idiots like this before and there is nothing you can do but leave 'em to it, they are a kind of cancer that kills companies.
Good luck.
mybrainhurts said:
I'd stick with it until you find something else.
In the meantime, there's always the chance His Pratness might fall off his bike and die....
I've been hexing him to no effect!
Staying does make sense (financially), although I will only stay if I can find a tie supplier who do one which looks like a big willy.
maxf said:
I'd stick with it until you find something else.
In the meantime, there's always the chance His Pratness might fall off his bike and die....
I've been hexing him to no effect!
Staying does make sense (financially), although I will only stay if I can find a tie supplier who do one which looks like a big willy.
Don't do that...he'll call you dick head.....
scared but happy said:
Walk away. These are the people you do NOT need in life, the next thing they ask is will you work another couple of hours etc for the good of the company.
Start looking now, do not leave it till its too late.
Good luck.
PS: I worked for a VERY abusive and threating boss who tried to blackmail me and still owes £15,000 in wages !
Wow I thought I had it bad.
One of the problems this chap has is that I wont work stupidly long hours if not genuinely required (I will if something actually needs doing urgently). I commute in from Lincolnshire which takes 2 hours - I have heard him say that it is unacceptable and that he expects a minimum of 12 hour days! Of course this is only his micro team, not the department as a whole who generally leave/arrive on time.
The trouble is I have always treated bosses with respect regardless of how they treat me - I am now increasingly thinking 'I could drop you on your arse so easily...' which cant be good
Internet search on workplace bullying might help you.
There are some bosses who get off on demonstrating their power over you, and clearly this guy has worked out that you're a suitable victim.
I'd suggest:
1) Look for another job. Make sure you don't get caught out doing this.
2) Keep a diary of things he is doing to intimidate you.
3) Write a very strongly worded letter to the top management. State that his actions are inappropriate and that you would like them to stop him from intimidating you or other employees. Make it clear that you will leave if he cannot act like a professional. Mention that you would consider taking the case to a tribunal if necessary.
4) Wait a bit for the s*** to hit the fan and the rumours get round.
5) Leave for your new job.
There are some bosses who get off on demonstrating their power over you, and clearly this guy has worked out that you're a suitable victim.
I'd suggest:
1) Look for another job. Make sure you don't get caught out doing this.
2) Keep a diary of things he is doing to intimidate you.
3) Write a very strongly worded letter to the top management. State that his actions are inappropriate and that you would like them to stop him from intimidating you or other employees. Make it clear that you will leave if he cannot act like a professional. Mention that you would consider taking the case to a tribunal if necessary.
4) Wait a bit for the s*** to hit the fan and the rumours get round.
5) Leave for your new job.
maxf said:
He is one of the big owners, and only in charge of our team of 3.
I take it there is 'not' missing there.
I certainly stand my ground against direct abuse.
Other colleagues getting grief? 3 or more keeping a record of behaviour and taking it higher would be good.
Force that git out if you're otherwise happy with the company and team.
This site might have some useful advice:
www.bullyonline.org/
I'd suggest leaving as soon as you have something else to go to. If you can bring down the bully while you're at it, so much the better. People like that need stringing up.
www.bullyonline.org/
I'd suggest leaving as soon as you have something else to go to. If you can bring down the bully while you're at it, so much the better. People like that need stringing up.
Tuna said:
Internet search on workplace bullying might help you.
There are some bosses who get off on demonstrating their power over you, and clearly this guy has worked out that you're a suitable victim.
<and>
3) Write a very strongly worded letter to the top management. State that his actions are inappropriate and that you would like them to stop him from intimidating you or other employees. Make it clear that you will leave if he cannot act like a professional. Mention that you would consider taking the case to a tribunal if necessary.
Cheers Tuna.
The problem is he is one of the owners - an equity partner in a multi million £ company - there is no higher management!
Another problem I am finding hard to deal with is the fact that I am not physically 'bully fodder' (train 6 days a week, formerly very fit/big and getting back that way, box regularly etc. The only thing he has over me is years of experience doing the job - which any decent boss would surely want to share, not use against a newly qualified member of the profession?
Do your job well but ignore all the crap. Nothing annoys office bullies more than not being listened to. If he tells you to put your tie on say you will and then don't. When he reminds you make a grunting noise, nod and go back to your work, if he pulls you up on some silly little error then look completely vacant while he tells you about it (a few deep sighs are also worth a try). Its called passive resistance and it annoys the shit out of them! While you're undermining his authority look for another job. Then some time in during your notice explode at him at rant on for a couple of minutes explaining what a useless self agrandising piddle of rhino piss he his. Make sure there's an audience.....
There was a guy I used to work with like this, whenever he was bollocking me (for nothing) I'd glare at him as though I was on the verge of violence It used to make his rants slowly tail off........
There was a guy I used to work with like this, whenever he was bollocking me (for nothing) I'd glare at him as though I was on the verge of violence
It used to make his rants slowly tail off........Please take this in the right way - are you sure he's not winding you up? If not, I'd ask him if you could 'have a word', take him to a quiet room somewhere and explain your grievances. He might be under the impression that you can take this sort of abuse as you're 'one of his guys'.
Just a thought...
maxf said:
Internet search on workplace bullying might help you.
There are some bosses who get off on demonstrating their power over you, and clearly this guy has worked out that you're a suitable victim.
<and>
3) Write a very strongly worded letter to the top management. State that his actions are inappropriate and that you would like them to stop him from intimidating you or other employees. Make it clear that you will leave if he cannot act like a professional. Mention that you would consider taking the case to a tribunal if necessary.
Cheers Tuna.
The problem is he is one of the owners - an equity partner in a multi million £ company - there is no higher management!
Another problem I am finding hard to deal with is the fact that I am not physically 'bully fodder' (train 6 days a week, formerly very fit/big and getting back that way, box regularly etc. The only thing he has over me is years of experience doing the job - which any decent boss would surely want to share, not use against a newly qualified member of the profession?
so as a smaller man he has a chance to make you look small, by being bigger than he is and he can still cut you to size, damn he is impressive......
can almost hear his mind working
I think it all depends on how bad it is. If you've not been unemployed before, you'll not know how bad that is, compared with what you're suffering now.
I suppose that the positive thing to focus on, is that if you do leave you'll find out if you don't like unemployment, and how much.
If you leave now, in future, you'll know how much you can put up with.
>> Edited by dilbert on Wednesday 27th July 16:33
I suppose that the positive thing to focus on, is that if you do leave you'll find out if you don't like unemployment, and how much.
If you leave now, in future, you'll know how much you can put up with.
>> Edited by dilbert on Wednesday 27th July 16:33
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