I'm a neighbour from hell!
Discussion
So there I was, trying to find a coolant leak on the 390 before I head off to the WedgeFest this weekend.
Next thing, old grumblchops from next door marches down my drive demanding to know "What's wrong with this f*ing car now then?" (as if it's always broken :rolleyes: ).
I try to tell him what I'm doing but he launches into a diatribe about how much noise it makes and how he can't have his windows open due to the fumes (nearest window about 30 feet from the car, incidentally).
I point out that the car has an MOT so its emissions must be OK. He moans about the noise, I say there are another 2000 wedges that make exactly the same noise.
Next he kicks off that I supposedly 'rev the bollocks off cars all day long on a Sunday'.
What actually happened was that Hargo brought his 350 round for a new wheel bearing and when we took it out for a road test it wasn't idling very well, so I suggested we adjust things.
Took about 10 minutes and necessitated blipping the throttle a few times, certainly no bollocks dropped off.
Whingepants tells me I can't fix other peoples' cars outside my house; I tell him I have as much right to do that as he does to grow cucumbers.
So now he goes on about how the 'place has gone right downhill' since I moved in and 'look at the f*ing state of your front garden'.
OK, let's.
I live next to a field. Whatever grows in that field tends to grow in my garden. Julie and I decided to weedkiller the lot, which of course means you can't cut the grass or there'll be no leaves on the weeds.
After a few days we cut the back lawn, but the strimmer ran out of line so I couldn't do the front. I'd got some more line but hadn't got round to chopping the front lawn, and as there are about 30 varieties of grass and weeds in there it grows a bit ragged. I take his point that it was untidy but so what? I have other things to do with my life; he's retired so he can sit in front of 'Neighbours from hell' all day long. Anyway...
He reckons he's going to report me to the council, I told him to go ahead. Amongst his other gripes are the number of vehicles I have (four), the Esprit parked outside my house 'causing an obstruction' (to whom? Nobody else complains and I've seen 7.5-tonne trucks turn round with no difficulty) etc etc.
I pointed out that in the time I've lived there (3.5 years) he's only ever spoken to me to moan about nothing. He says "That's because you're a c**t".
So, what did I do? I switched off the TVR and had my tea. Then I moved the Fiat and the Transit out, parked the Fiat outside his house and took the TVR for a spin.
When I got back I did the three-car-shuffle again to put them away.
Then I got the petrol strimmer out :D
Normally I start at the end of the lawn nearest to his windows, so I get the noise over with quicker. Last night I started at the furthest point so it got louder as I got nearer to him. And I took my time.
All the while I could see him sat in his favourite chair, glued to Corrie (or whatever) :hehe:
So, I fully expect a visit from the council. At which point I will contact their buildings inspector and complain about the unsightly and substandard roof on the neighbour's extension that he put on last year, without planning permission...
Next thing, old grumblchops from next door marches down my drive demanding to know "What's wrong with this f*ing car now then?" (as if it's always broken :rolleyes: ).
I try to tell him what I'm doing but he launches into a diatribe about how much noise it makes and how he can't have his windows open due to the fumes (nearest window about 30 feet from the car, incidentally).
I point out that the car has an MOT so its emissions must be OK. He moans about the noise, I say there are another 2000 wedges that make exactly the same noise.
Next he kicks off that I supposedly 'rev the bollocks off cars all day long on a Sunday'.
What actually happened was that Hargo brought his 350 round for a new wheel bearing and when we took it out for a road test it wasn't idling very well, so I suggested we adjust things.
Took about 10 minutes and necessitated blipping the throttle a few times, certainly no bollocks dropped off.
Whingepants tells me I can't fix other peoples' cars outside my house; I tell him I have as much right to do that as he does to grow cucumbers.
So now he goes on about how the 'place has gone right downhill' since I moved in and 'look at the f*ing state of your front garden'.
OK, let's.
I live next to a field. Whatever grows in that field tends to grow in my garden. Julie and I decided to weedkiller the lot, which of course means you can't cut the grass or there'll be no leaves on the weeds.
After a few days we cut the back lawn, but the strimmer ran out of line so I couldn't do the front. I'd got some more line but hadn't got round to chopping the front lawn, and as there are about 30 varieties of grass and weeds in there it grows a bit ragged. I take his point that it was untidy but so what? I have other things to do with my life; he's retired so he can sit in front of 'Neighbours from hell' all day long. Anyway...
He reckons he's going to report me to the council, I told him to go ahead. Amongst his other gripes are the number of vehicles I have (four), the Esprit parked outside my house 'causing an obstruction' (to whom? Nobody else complains and I've seen 7.5-tonne trucks turn round with no difficulty) etc etc.
I pointed out that in the time I've lived there (3.5 years) he's only ever spoken to me to moan about nothing. He says "That's because you're a c**t".
So, what did I do? I switched off the TVR and had my tea. Then I moved the Fiat and the Transit out, parked the Fiat outside his house and took the TVR for a spin.
When I got back I did the three-car-shuffle again to put them away.
Then I got the petrol strimmer out :D
Normally I start at the end of the lawn nearest to his windows, so I get the noise over with quicker. Last night I started at the furthest point so it got louder as I got nearer to him. And I took my time.
All the while I could see him sat in his favourite chair, glued to Corrie (or whatever) :hehe:
So, I fully expect a visit from the council. At which point I will contact their buildings inspector and complain about the unsightly and substandard roof on the neighbour's extension that he put on last year, without planning permission...
He was dreadful at Cadwell....
Snoring,drinking too much beer,and he even Stole my sun tan lotion ....
Tsk Tsk
Hey Your neighbour obviously has nothing to do all day but moan.
These types actually get off on it.
I wouldnt worry about it Iain.
Ignore him.
Actually I loaned him some suntan. and He is a lovley Bloke....
LOL 
Pleasure to meet you matey
>> Edited by jessica on Thursday 28th July 10:59
Snoring,drinking too much beer,and he even Stole my sun tan lotion ....
Tsk Tsk
Hey Your neighbour obviously has nothing to do all day but moan.
These types actually get off on it.
I wouldnt worry about it Iain.
Ignore him.
Actually I loaned him some suntan. and He is a lovley Bloke....
LOL Pleasure to meet you matey
>> Edited by jessica on Thursday 28th July 10:59
Last October I moved my Z06 off of the GF's drive at about 10:30 on a Friday night, whilst she drives her car in I sit in the road with the engine running (for possibly 2 minutes).
Next thing I know there is this Welsh tw@t knocking loudly on the passenger side window (LHD car he thinks it's the drivers side).
As my electric didn't work, I had to switch off the motor to wind down the window.
Conversation goes as follows....
Welsh Tw@t "Do you know what time it is?"
Me "Yes, why?"
WT "It's 10:30 at night!"
Me "Yes, and?"
WT "I'm fed up with you waking me up with this bloody noisy thing (Yellow Z06), every morning you wake me up at 7:45 (it's when I go to work FFS) if it's not this one it's the other one (Yellow Viper)."
He then threatens me with "physical violence" if I don't stop making noise.
Let's put this in to perspective shall we, GF's house is in Fleet and runs parallel with the Hight Street and is about 100 yards from a nightclub and in the other direction a 24hr garage.
So not exactly a haven of peace and tranquility especially on a Friday night.
My attitude is I try to be considerate of the neighbours but at the end of the day I have a right to drive my car and to park it on the drive so if he doesn't like it he can feck off back to sheep shagging land.
.....and breathe.
Next thing I know there is this Welsh tw@t knocking loudly on the passenger side window (LHD car he thinks it's the drivers side).
As my electric didn't work, I had to switch off the motor to wind down the window.
Conversation goes as follows....
Welsh Tw@t "Do you know what time it is?"
Me "Yes, why?"
WT "It's 10:30 at night!"
Me "Yes, and?"
WT "I'm fed up with you waking me up with this bloody noisy thing (Yellow Z06), every morning you wake me up at 7:45 (it's when I go to work FFS) if it's not this one it's the other one (Yellow Viper)."
He then threatens me with "physical violence" if I don't stop making noise.
Let's put this in to perspective shall we, GF's house is in Fleet and runs parallel with the Hight Street and is about 100 yards from a nightclub and in the other direction a 24hr garage.
So not exactly a haven of peace and tranquility especially on a Friday night.
My attitude is I try to be considerate of the neighbours but at the end of the day I have a right to drive my car and to park it on the drive so if he doesn't like it he can feck off back to sheep shagging land.
.....and breathe.
I think you are in the wrong thread 
silversun said:
At least he doesn't chuck stones over his fence which hit your car like one of my neighbours did.
I'm waiting for an opportunity to go into his garden with a bottle of weedkiller and write the word "TOSSER" on his new turf.
I was tempted to strim the grass into the words "F**k You"...
A thought has occurred.
Old whingey's other neighbour has a LARGE ornamental flowerpot set into his front lawn.
It'as actually the cast-iron double smokestack from an old steam locomotive.
Whilst aesthetically pleasing, some people might consider it as just a lump of scrap iron.
As it happens I find the Rover V8 engine quite aesthetically pleasing: I have a spare one in the garage...
Old whingey's other neighbour has a LARGE ornamental flowerpot set into his front lawn.
It'as actually the cast-iron double smokestack from an old steam locomotive.
Whilst aesthetically pleasing, some people might consider it as just a lump of scrap iron.
As it happens I find the Rover V8 engine quite aesthetically pleasing: I have a spare one in the garage...
tuscan_thunder said:
Hi Ian. No way would I allow anyone to speak to me like that. I hope you did not just stand and take that abuse.
On the contrary, I would definitely just stand and take it. Just absorb it all, nice and peacefully.
Then I would start the revenge mission.
:-) Yeah that's the proper thing to do. I would try... Honest ! But I'm afraid I would fail. Just don't have that much self control when it comes to ignorant t#ats.
reminds me of a bloke I had some trouble with. He'd walk up our road (with 'private' sign at the end of it - this is Scotland, laws are different to England).
He walked at a real snails' pace but as you come up my road, you go straight into the garden. The road goes between a lawn and a bank of trees. He'd wander about, annoy the dog and, worst of all, would sometimes stop and look straight into the house.
Further up (100yards) the road, you arrive at some fields and the road ends. There is fencing all the way up.
I approached him one day and asked, perfectly politely 'can I help you'? He asked what with, I asked why he liked 'walking through my garden'.
man: “doesn't look like a garden to me"
me: “well the flowers, lawn, trees, path, clothes line etc indicate it to me. Also, there is a sign saying 'private' at the end.
man: “there's no trespass law in scotland"
me: "don't speak to me about that - I know the right to access laws, right to roam laws, the damage to property laws, the trespass law which does exist in Scotland and I also know about how to remove people from private land. Tell you what, seeing how there's no trespass law, I'll come down to your garden (standard garden attached to semi house) with my dog, i'll do some laps of your lawn and i'll let the dog sh*t on your front step will I? Not much you can do if there's no trespass law is there?”
man: “hrmph"
lest to say, he has not returned.
He walked at a real snails' pace but as you come up my road, you go straight into the garden. The road goes between a lawn and a bank of trees. He'd wander about, annoy the dog and, worst of all, would sometimes stop and look straight into the house.
Further up (100yards) the road, you arrive at some fields and the road ends. There is fencing all the way up.
I approached him one day and asked, perfectly politely 'can I help you'? He asked what with, I asked why he liked 'walking through my garden'.
man: “doesn't look like a garden to me"
me: “well the flowers, lawn, trees, path, clothes line etc indicate it to me. Also, there is a sign saying 'private' at the end.
man: “there's no trespass law in scotland"
me: "don't speak to me about that - I know the right to access laws, right to roam laws, the damage to property laws, the trespass law which does exist in Scotland and I also know about how to remove people from private land. Tell you what, seeing how there's no trespass law, I'll come down to your garden (standard garden attached to semi house) with my dog, i'll do some laps of your lawn and i'll let the dog sh*t on your front step will I? Not much you can do if there's no trespass law is there?”
man: “hrmph"
lest to say, he has not returned.
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