Africa at its best
Discussion
These are actual newspaper articles.
>> Quite amazing!
>>
>>
>> Cape Times:
>>
>> "I have promised to keep his identity confidential,' said Jack Maxim, a
>> spokesperson for the Sandton Sun Hotel, Johannesburg, "but I can confirm
>> that he is no longer in our employment".
>>
>> "We asked him to clean the lifts and he spent four days on the job. When
>> I
>> asked him why, he replied: 'Well, there are forty of them, two on each
>> floor, and sometimes some of them aren't there'. Eventually, we realised
>> that he thought each floor had a different lift, and he'd cleaned the
>> same
>> two twelve times. We had to let him go. It seemed best all round. I
>> understand he is now working for GE Lighting."
>>
>>
>> The Star, Johannesburg:
>>
>> "The situation is absolutely under control," Transport Minister Ephraem
>> Magagula told the Swaziland parliament in Mbabane. "Our nation's Merchant
>> navy is perfectly safe. We just don't know where it is, that's all."
>>
>> Replying to an MP's question, Minister Magagula admitted that the
>> Landlocked
>> country had completely lost track of its only ship, the
>> 'Swazimar': "We believe it is in a sea somewhere. At one time, we sent a
>> team of men to look for it, but there was a problem with drink and they
>> failed to find it, and so, technically, yes, we've lost it a bit. But I
>> categorically reject all suggestions of incompetence on the part of this
>> government. "The Swazimar is a big ship painted in the sort of nice
>> bright
>> colours You can see at night. Mark my words, it will turn up. The right
>> honourable gentleman opposite is a very naughty man, and he will laugh on
>> the other side of his face when my ship comes in."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> The Standard, Kenya:
>>
>> "What is all the fuss about?" Weseka Sambu asked a hastily convened news
>> conference at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. "A technical hitch
>> like
>> this could have happened anywhere in the world. You people are not
>> patriots.
>> You just want to cause trouble." Sambu, a spokesman for Kenya Airways,
>> was
>> speaking after the cancellation of a through flight from Kisumu, via Jomo
>> Kenyatta, to
>> Berlin: "The forty-two passengers had boarded the plane ready for
>> take-off,
>> when the pilot noticed one of the tyres was flat. Kenya Airways did not
>> possess a spare tyre, and unfortunately the airport nitrogen canister was
>> empty. A passenger suggested taking the tyre to a petrol station for
>> inflation, but unluckily the jack had gone missing so we couldn't get the
>> wheel off. "Our engineers tried heroically to reinflate the tyre with a
>> bicycle pump, but had no luck, and the pilot even blew into the valve
>> with
>> his mouth, but he passed out.
>>
>> "When I announced that the flight had to be abandoned, one of the
>> passengers, Mr Mutu, suddenly struck me about the face with a life-jacket
>> whistle and said we were a national disgrace. I told him he
>> was being ridiculous, and that there was to be another flight in a
>> fortnight. And, in the meantime, he would be able to enjoy the scenery
>> around Kisumu, albeit at his own expense."
>>
>>
>>
>> From a Zimbabwean newspaper:
>>
>> While transporting mental patients from Harare to Bulawayo, the bus
>> Driver
>> stopped at a roadside shebeen for a few beers. When he got back to His
>> vehicle, he found it empty, with the 20 patients nowhere to be seen.
>> Realizing the trouble he was in if the truth were uncovered, he halted
>> His
>> bus at the next bus stop and offered lifts to those in the queue. Letting
>> 20
>> people board, he then shut the doors and drove straight to The Bulawayo
>> mental hospital, where he hastily handed over his charges, Warning the
>> nurses that they were particularly excitable. Staff removed
>> The furious passengers; it was three days later that suspicions were
>> roused
>> by the consistency of stories from the 20. As for the real patients:
>> nothing
>> more has been heard of them and they have apparently blended comfortably
>> back into Zimbabwean society.
>>
>>
>
>
>> Quite amazing!
>>
>>
>> Cape Times:
>>
>> "I have promised to keep his identity confidential,' said Jack Maxim, a
>> spokesperson for the Sandton Sun Hotel, Johannesburg, "but I can confirm
>> that he is no longer in our employment".
>>
>> "We asked him to clean the lifts and he spent four days on the job. When
>> I
>> asked him why, he replied: 'Well, there are forty of them, two on each
>> floor, and sometimes some of them aren't there'. Eventually, we realised
>> that he thought each floor had a different lift, and he'd cleaned the
>> same
>> two twelve times. We had to let him go. It seemed best all round. I
>> understand he is now working for GE Lighting."
>>
>>
>> The Star, Johannesburg:
>>
>> "The situation is absolutely under control," Transport Minister Ephraem
>> Magagula told the Swaziland parliament in Mbabane. "Our nation's Merchant
>> navy is perfectly safe. We just don't know where it is, that's all."
>>
>> Replying to an MP's question, Minister Magagula admitted that the
>> Landlocked
>> country had completely lost track of its only ship, the
>> 'Swazimar': "We believe it is in a sea somewhere. At one time, we sent a
>> team of men to look for it, but there was a problem with drink and they
>> failed to find it, and so, technically, yes, we've lost it a bit. But I
>> categorically reject all suggestions of incompetence on the part of this
>> government. "The Swazimar is a big ship painted in the sort of nice
>> bright
>> colours You can see at night. Mark my words, it will turn up. The right
>> honourable gentleman opposite is a very naughty man, and he will laugh on
>> the other side of his face when my ship comes in."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> The Standard, Kenya:
>>
>> "What is all the fuss about?" Weseka Sambu asked a hastily convened news
>> conference at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. "A technical hitch
>> like
>> this could have happened anywhere in the world. You people are not
>> patriots.
>> You just want to cause trouble." Sambu, a spokesman for Kenya Airways,
>> was
>> speaking after the cancellation of a through flight from Kisumu, via Jomo
>> Kenyatta, to
>> Berlin: "The forty-two passengers had boarded the plane ready for
>> take-off,
>> when the pilot noticed one of the tyres was flat. Kenya Airways did not
>> possess a spare tyre, and unfortunately the airport nitrogen canister was
>> empty. A passenger suggested taking the tyre to a petrol station for
>> inflation, but unluckily the jack had gone missing so we couldn't get the
>> wheel off. "Our engineers tried heroically to reinflate the tyre with a
>> bicycle pump, but had no luck, and the pilot even blew into the valve
>> with
>> his mouth, but he passed out.
>>
>> "When I announced that the flight had to be abandoned, one of the
>> passengers, Mr Mutu, suddenly struck me about the face with a life-jacket
>> whistle and said we were a national disgrace. I told him he
>> was being ridiculous, and that there was to be another flight in a
>> fortnight. And, in the meantime, he would be able to enjoy the scenery
>> around Kisumu, albeit at his own expense."
>>
>>
>>
>> From a Zimbabwean newspaper:
>>
>> While transporting mental patients from Harare to Bulawayo, the bus
>> Driver
>> stopped at a roadside shebeen for a few beers. When he got back to His
>> vehicle, he found it empty, with the 20 patients nowhere to be seen.
>> Realizing the trouble he was in if the truth were uncovered, he halted
>> His
>> bus at the next bus stop and offered lifts to those in the queue. Letting
>> 20
>> people board, he then shut the doors and drove straight to The Bulawayo
>> mental hospital, where he hastily handed over his charges, Warning the
>> nurses that they were particularly excitable. Staff removed
>> The furious passengers; it was three days later that suspicions were
>> roused
>> by the consistency of stories from the 20. As for the real patients:
>> nothing
>> more has been heard of them and they have apparently blended comfortably
>> back into Zimbabwean society.
>>
>>
>
>
Great way to brighten up a dull moody morning. 
Not sure if those stories are correct, but the African mentality is something hard to believe sometimes (from our point of view). My cousin married a Kenyan and some of the stories really have to be heard to be believed! They now live and work in Kenya and have had a couple of dodgy moments.... but in general, once you slot-into the mentality its quite a stunning nation / continent.
Its a fascinating place.....
Its a fascinating place.....
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