Comback line competition
Discussion
Not really a competition, but heres the spin down the lane...
An cantankerous eccentric bizarro seeking a website was referred to me, immediately took a strange haughty 'holier than though' tone, conversations went no where, and within a few minutes I'd decided not to work with the chap, told him to look elsewhere for a web development company basically, and hung up the phone. Every once in a while I decide not to take someone on, if I feel they are going to be trouble.
Then the emails started, the usual intellectual jousting, he cant take no for an answer :rolleyes: wont move on, likes to play whose right whose wrong games (hes an intelligant sounding businessman, quite old suprisingly) he sent this:
"From olive stones grow olive trees from which the intelligent can gain advantage by harvesting olive branches, the foolish squander the advantage."
I thought Id put it to PH, and see if the usual suspects are up for challeling their wit constructively into some kind of a comeback line for a tw0t who wont go away and wont take no for an answer. Rude as you like chaps, and a one two three... :ears:
getsreadyforthetumbleweed.gif
An cantankerous eccentric bizarro seeking a website was referred to me, immediately took a strange haughty 'holier than though' tone, conversations went no where, and within a few minutes I'd decided not to work with the chap, told him to look elsewhere for a web development company basically, and hung up the phone. Every once in a while I decide not to take someone on, if I feel they are going to be trouble.
Then the emails started, the usual intellectual jousting, he cant take no for an answer :rolleyes: wont move on, likes to play whose right whose wrong games (hes an intelligant sounding businessman, quite old suprisingly) he sent this:
"From olive stones grow olive trees from which the intelligent can gain advantage by harvesting olive branches, the foolish squander the advantage."
I thought Id put it to PH, and see if the usual suspects are up for challeling their wit constructively into some kind of a comeback line for a tw0t who wont go away and wont take no for an answer. Rude as you like chaps, and a one two three... :ears:
getsreadyforthetumbleweed.gif
Sir,
I would suggest that a man of your age is ill-advised to spend what remains of his time on earth indulging in a pointless (if remarkably successful) attempt to prove himself to be, frankly, a cantankerous old bastard.
In many ways I felt the olive line you so carefully picked was quite appropriate, because, to me, you share many characteristics. Chief among these being that I can't stand either of you. In fact, the only real differentiator is that I feel I could, given sufficient time and patience, learn to tolerate and perhaps even like olives.
Please direct any further emails to my new address: olivebranch@myarse.com
Your faihfuly servant.
Bob.
I would suggest that a man of your age is ill-advised to spend what remains of his time on earth indulging in a pointless (if remarkably successful) attempt to prove himself to be, frankly, a cantankerous old bastard.
In many ways I felt the olive line you so carefully picked was quite appropriate, because, to me, you share many characteristics. Chief among these being that I can't stand either of you. In fact, the only real differentiator is that I feel I could, given sufficient time and patience, learn to tolerate and perhaps even like olives.
Please direct any further emails to my new address: olivebranch@myarse.com
Your faihfuly servant.
Bob.
all of them 
UKbob said:
"From olive stones grow olive trees from which the intelligent can gain advantage by harvesting olive branches, the foolish squander the advantage."
"Maybe so, but the real winners buy their olive products from Sainsburys."
Oder,
"The last old man to witter on about olives had just spent a lot of time on a boat with nothing but pairs of animals. I didn't bother listening to him, either."
olive"... err... acutally, go with Jamie's suggestion.As usual, 
to all PHers
I sent him this:
From the pods of the senna shrub, the intelligent can gain movement by the harvesting of a cathartic agent. The foolish refuse to move on and delight in their own blockage.
Just as olive trees assuredly grow from olive stones, good sense tells me to buy olive oil from my local delicatessen, knowledge of electronic media from an expert, and aphorisms from a respected writer.
Added to spam filter
The end.
(comeplete with pic of person with head between legs and a drumb with "The End" strapped to arse
to all PHers I sent him this:
From the pods of the senna shrub, the intelligent can gain movement by the harvesting of a cathartic agent. The foolish refuse to move on and delight in their own blockage.
Just as olive trees assuredly grow from olive stones, good sense tells me to buy olive oil from my local delicatessen, knowledge of electronic media from an expert, and aphorisms from a respected writer.
Added to spam filter
The end.
(comeplete with pic of person with head between legs and a drumb with "The End" strapped to arse
GreenV8S said:My favourite.
Just add his name to your spam filter and move on?
This chap really has fook all else to do except stew over this and he'll keep it going forever.
A few 'unable to deliver to recipient' messages will annoy him much more than any witty response, which he will only see as reason to keep up the correspondence. Just think of him fuming as his meticulously researched and crafted witicisms bounce back unread!
Show him that you're the adult and refuse to indulge him.
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