What age should you get married at
Discussion
I appear to have got to that stage in life where members of my family make suggestions that I ought to be married.
Just wondered what the ideal age to get married for the first time is ?
Most people say between 28-35.
If you get married after 40 people think you are a poof.
Look at the reactions to William Hague and Charles Kennedy when they got married.
Just wondered what the ideal age to get married for the first time is ?
Most people say between 28-35.
If you get married after 40 people think you are a poof.
Look at the reactions to William Hague and Charles Kennedy when they got married.
Me and Mrs Get lived together for 20 years - finally only getting married when my accountant told me it would be a good move financially - plus: if I keel over (or get killed by a numptie) things will be easier for her to sort out (again financially). Apart from that and the wedding list and the knees up, I can't see any other reason to get married.
BTW Nobody seemed to think I was a poof having turned 40 and not being married
>> Edited by GetCarter on Tuesday 13th September 07:31
BTW Nobody seemed to think I was a poof having turned 40 and not being married
>> Edited by GetCarter on Tuesday 13th September 07:31
I got married at age 30. In fact I insisted on it - planning the wedding for four days after my birthday.
I consider getting hitched in one's twenties foolishly young.
Seriously? You can get married at any age. But it is riskier marrying when one or both of you still have "growing up" to do. People change, and they do it throughout life, but they do more of it whilst younger. I don't think one can put an accurate age on it - but I still think its probably better to get married in the later twenties than the younger years.
I consider getting hitched in one's twenties foolishly young.
Seriously? You can get married at any age. But it is riskier marrying when one or both of you still have "growing up" to do. People change, and they do it throughout life, but they do more of it whilst younger. I don't think one can put an accurate age on it - but I still think its probably better to get married in the later twenties than the younger years.
You usually know when the time is right for you. However, getting married at a relatively young age is riskier as young people often find that what they thought they wanted at 21 is very different to what they wanted at 31 - especially girls. Young marriages have the highest failure rate for that reason.
Eric Mc said:
You usually know when the time is right for you. However, getting married at a relatively young age is riskier as young people often find that what they thought they wanted at 21 is very different to what they wanted at 31 - especially girls. Young marriages have the highest failure rate for that reason.
Ahh yes. To quote "ladder theory"
21 - Rebel Biker.
31 - Wage slave.
Edited to add: I've always wondered which one I am. I haven't had a "proper" job in twelve years.
>> Edited by Don on Tuesday 13th September 08:03
to all you old,tired,commitment-avoiding bum bandits I don't even think you have to be a young "rebel" to have a change in atitude later in life. In fact, I have probably gone in the reverse direction. OK, I've never been the rebelious type (I'm an accountant, after all) but certainly, I'm more adventurous and less risk averse in my 40s than I ever was in my teens and 20s.
The important thing is that people change, and the biggest changes occur (usually) between the ages of 14 to 28. I reckon you have a much better idea of what the future person will be like if you talk to them at the age of 7 than if you talk to that same person at the age of 18. People seem to move in a circle in their life. Open and truthful about themselves between (say) 5 and 11. Guarded and concerned about their peers' opinions between 12 and 28. Open and truthful again after that.
I know its a generalistaion but its something I have observed in myself and others. The problem is that many young people have to make those crucial life decisions in the "troubled" period between 14 to 28.
The important thing is that people change, and the biggest changes occur (usually) between the ages of 14 to 28. I reckon you have a much better idea of what the future person will be like if you talk to them at the age of 7 than if you talk to that same person at the age of 18. People seem to move in a circle in their life. Open and truthful about themselves between (say) 5 and 11. Guarded and concerned about their peers' opinions between 12 and 28. Open and truthful again after that.
I know its a generalistaion but its something I have observed in myself and others. The problem is that many young people have to make those crucial life decisions in the "troubled" period between 14 to 28.
From observing friends who are married it seems the best time to do it is when you get sick of looking for that special person and decide to make do with who ever you are with. The really good marriages are those where both people are sick of looking for mr/miss right at the same time... i.e. mutual acceptance of reality
Then again I am a jaded cynic (who's hasn't got sick of looking..... yet)
Then again I am a jaded cynic (who's hasn't got sick of looking..... yet)
I've always been anti-marriage, so only cracked when we already had 2 kids and it became financially advisable to do so. I was 37.
Getting married is not the issue in my heavily agnostic opinion - either you have the committment to one another or you don't - what difference does the piece of paper make?
Just make sure that you play the field alot before you settle down, sowing of wild oats and all that.
Getting married is not the issue in my heavily agnostic opinion - either you have the committment to one another or you don't - what difference does the piece of paper make?
Just make sure that you play the field alot before you settle down, sowing of wild oats and all that.
Unfortunately, the "piece of paper" means a HUGE deal. Forget the religious and/or moral or social aspects - legally a marriage is a form of contract and really commits the two individuals into a legal binding agreement. All sorts of tax and legal matters flow from this contract and as a result gives both parties a form of certainty as to where they stand in law or in tax matters.
If you look at a history of ALL societies, you will see that the notion of "marriage" as an institution has been around thousands of years - and it certainly predates Chritianity.
Living together for many years and not formally binding the relationship in law exposes a couple to great financial and tax risks. This is amplified to an even greater extent if there are children included in the equation.
>> Edited by Eric Mc on Tuesday 13th September 08:56
If you look at a history of ALL societies, you will see that the notion of "marriage" as an institution has been around thousands of years - and it certainly predates Chritianity.
Living together for many years and not formally binding the relationship in law exposes a couple to great financial and tax risks. This is amplified to an even greater extent if there are children included in the equation.
>> Edited by Eric Mc on Tuesday 13th September 08:56
For a bloke I reckon sometime between 35 and 40. For a woman I'd say between 27 and 32.
Reason, being brutal chances are that you're getting married in anticipation of starting a family in the next few years, the woman needs to be old enough to have matured but young enough to still do the business, the man needs to be old enough not to sh*t himself too much over the prospect and do a runner and also needs to be financially secure and able to take on the bulk of the financial responsibility for the family in the first few years ( again without doing a runner ).
I'm generalising of course but there we are.....
Oh and also ideally I think you need to be financially able to pay for your own wedding with ease (no parental assistance)as from what I've seen this massively reduces the amount of stress involved, as you can avoid the inevitable compromises/blackmail over where Auntie X will sit or how many friends you can/ cannot invite.
Reason, being brutal chances are that you're getting married in anticipation of starting a family in the next few years, the woman needs to be old enough to have matured but young enough to still do the business, the man needs to be old enough not to sh*t himself too much over the prospect and do a runner and also needs to be financially secure and able to take on the bulk of the financial responsibility for the family in the first few years ( again without doing a runner ).
I'm generalising of course but there we are.....
Oh and also ideally I think you need to be financially able to pay for your own wedding with ease (no parental assistance)as from what I've seen this massively reduces the amount of stress involved, as you can avoid the inevitable compromises/blackmail over where Auntie X will sit or how many friends you can/ cannot invite.
I was 21 the first time and too young to know who the "right" person was, hence divorced 10 years later.
Met the lovely Mrs K about 3.5 years ago and we got married 22 months ago, me aged 34 and Mrs K was 28.
One thing I would say is that if you plan on having children and prefer to do so within marriage then late twenties to early thirties is probably a good time to marry, otherwise you'll be a bit of an elderly parent.
Met the lovely Mrs K about 3.5 years ago and we got married 22 months ago, me aged 34 and Mrs K was 28.
One thing I would say is that if you plan on having children and prefer to do so within marriage then late twenties to early thirties is probably a good time to marry, otherwise you'll be a bit of an elderly parent.
I got married last year when I was 26, after being with my wife for 8 years. I had never planned to get married that young, but it just felt right. We had been through a few defining events - meeting at Uni, leaving Uni & living apart, getting a place together, starting careers etc. If we hadn't been through those events then I think I would have put it off until I felt it was right, but not put an age on it.
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