Missing Relatives
Author
Discussion

lazyitus

Original Poster:

19,931 posts

296 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
quotequote all
How many people on here have 'missing relatives'?

My Nan was born in Manchester but she never knew her Father. It was in the days when out-of-wedlock babies were seen as some kind of cancer.

Although her Dads family looked after her when she was born, she ended up growing up in London where her Mum was originally from. As a result, she didn't ever get to know her real Dad.

I know it was relatively painful for her as she often talked about tracking him down. She never did though and she took this empty part of her life to her grave.

I think thats sad. :(

But it must be common?

r988

7,495 posts

259 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
quotequote all
My father was adopted. he eventually tracked down his birth mother though she died a few years later from cancer. He also eventually tracked down his father who is still alive. It certainly made a difference in his life, some closure or sense of identity that otherwise you lack.

Tuna

19,930 posts

314 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
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My gran (who's 90 and getting rather senile) recently dropped into conversation 'but of course, he's a bastard' (illigitimate son, if the censor gets to that word), referring to one member of our family. Now, this is news to all of us, and we have no way to verify it as the relative in question is not close, nor do we know if she was having a lucid moment or talking about Hitler again (she does that).

So.. yes, maybe we do have relatives that we're unaware of, but we'll never know.

BliarOut

72,863 posts

269 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
quotequote all
Out of wedlock babies were a lot more common than they let on. I've done quite a bit of research on family history so I can pass it on to my kids.

Are you enquiring so you can find your roots or is it a general question?

Most of us would find a few cobwebs in the closets if we looked back far enough.

My gran and grandad never celebrated their wedding anniversary in front of the family, I wonder if it was because it was a bit too close to my dad's birthday

dick dastardly

8,326 posts

293 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
quotequote all
I've got an older sister somewhere I've never met. Don't have any real yearning to either.

I did used to wonder though when out on the pull if i'd ever end up committing incest by mistake.

lazyitus

Original Poster:

19,931 posts

296 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
quotequote all
BliarOut said:
Are you enquiring so you can find your roots or is it a general question?


It wasn't the primary reason for doing this thread.

But I would like to know more. All I know is where my Nan was born, which was the old Salvation Army Hospital in Mitchell Street (I think) which was in Ancoats. Don't think the building stands anymore. I know what her Dads surname was too.

I need to set time aside to investigate.

v15ben

16,223 posts

271 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
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dick dastardly said:


I did used to wonder though when out on the pull if i'd ever end up committing incest by mistake.


andy mac

73,668 posts

285 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
quotequote all
My Dad was from my nans first marriage. The rest of thast side were from the second mariage. never knew the family, and all I know is their second name is Northcote. Always wondered what my dads real brother was like.

mrs trackside

9,299 posts

263 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
quotequote all
lazyitus said:
How many people on here have 'missing relatives'?

My Nan was born in Manchester but she never knew her Father. It was in the days when out-of-wedlock babies were seen as some kind of cancer.

Although her Dads family looked after her when she was born, she ended up growing up in London where her Mum was originally from. As a result, she didn't ever get to know her real Dad.

I know it was relatively painful for her as she often talked about tracking him down. She never did though and she took this empty part of her life to her grave.

I think thats sad.

But it must be common?


My Nan was 80 years old when her "sister" Kitty died. It turned out that Kitty was her mother and was 15 when she had her. Nan was brought up by her Grandmother, but thought for all those years that she was her mother. She never found out who her real father was. The sad thing is that all those people had lied to her for all that time.

lazyitus

Original Poster:

19,931 posts

296 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
quotequote all
mrs trackside said:
My Nan was 80 years old when her "sister" Kitty died. It turned out that Kitty was her mother and was 15 when she had her. Nan was brought up by her Grandmother, but thought for all those years that she was her mother. She never found out who her real father was. The sad thing is that all those people had lied to her for all that time.


Bloody Nora, that's a sad one.

BliarOut

72,863 posts

269 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
quotequote all
If you want to get searching, these are good starting points. The lower one is run by the mormons, but don't let that put you off. Thanks to these and a little leg work, I've tracked some of my family back as far as the 1750's. Getting back to 1836 is relatively easy, as that's when centralised records started. Before that, it's down to how good the bishops transcripts were.

Good luck.

http://freebmd.rootsweb.com/

www.familysearch.org/

silversun

4,373 posts

256 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
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I have a whole load of cousins that I've never met. I don't know anything about them.

lazyitus

Original Poster:

19,931 posts

296 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
quotequote all
BliarOut said:
These are good starting points.


Good work, Bliar. Good work.

ApexClipper

27,712 posts

273 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
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To this day, my mother or anyone in the family for that matter, doesn't know who her father was.

Like the situations described above, her mother conceived her out of wedlock and coming from quite a strict Christian family, this wasn't on.

So, her father was never to be seen again and the only person who actually knew who he was, was my grandmother who is now dead.

My mother has never mentioned any desire to find out, but I've always been curious as to who my grandfather is / was.

I guess it wouldn't be too hard to find out, as we live in a small town but I often think it would open a can of worms if I did find out who he was...

maxf

8,444 posts

271 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
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A fairly distant relative of my GF was richest man in America in the 20's or 30's. He (more specifically his money) is missing from my life!!!

rich 36

13,739 posts

296 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
quotequote all
My Nan was 80 years old when her "sister" Kitty died. It turned out that Kitty was her mother and was 15 when she had her. Nan was brought up by her Grandmother, but thought for all those years that she was her mother. She never found out who her real father was. The sad thing is that all those people had lied to her for all that time.

It must have been doubly hard hitting, the fact that it was a secret, and known around by people

At what age, might be good to be taken somewhere quiet, and put in the picture by someone trusted

mrs trackside

9,299 posts

263 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
quotequote all
rich 36 said:
My Nan was 80 years old when her "sister" Kitty died. It turned out that Kitty was her mother and was 15 when she had her. Nan was brought up by her Grandmother, but thought for all those years that she was her mother. She never found out who her real father was. The sad thing is that all those people had lied to her for all that time.

It must have been doubly hard hitting, the fact that it was a secret, and known around by people

At what age, might be good to be taken somewhere quiet, and put in the picture by someone trusted


Nan was born in 1901 and single mothers simply "didn't exist" in those days. I would assume that her family couldn't tell her because of the stigma of it all. By the time she did find out, they were all dead.

I bet there's loads of people in the same situation, but because of the views on morality until 30 odd years ago, it's not spoken about.

ichikitsune

211 posts

269 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
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My Grampa was born in 1916, he never knew who his father was ans his Mum died when he was very young, 6 or 7 I think. He has one photo of her. When she died he was passed around her relatives for a while before ending up in a Barnardos home.

He has his Mum's surname, Mason, but his middle name is the rather unusual 'Hurst'. We wonder if that was the surname of his father. He's had a look for records concerning his Dad but no joy, he can't find much about his Mum either. Because of his date of birth, it's likely that his Dad didn't return from war.

rich 36

13,739 posts

296 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
quotequote all
50's Northampton Mothers were offered accomodation by the council well awy from nice folks,
quite litteraly on the wrong side of the tracks (Spencer actually)
were they might raise illegit' sprogs out of sight and mind of the great and good in town,
pathetically sad, and not so long either

good thread BTW.

>> Edited by rich 36 on Tuesday 13th September 12:56

wolves_wanderer

12,956 posts

267 months

Tuesday 13th September 2005
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My dad left his home in Ireland at the age of 17 and never contacted them again. It's quite weird thinking that I have an entire side of the family I've never seen, By my reckoning I'm owed a substantial amount of "back" birthday and christmas presents