Oxford's anti-social behaviour unit leaps into action
Discussion
..and bans a man from doing some gardening on the sheltered housing estate where he lives.
Isn't Oxford Liberal Democrat controlled?.
Protecting us from dangerous gardeners
By Jim White
(Filed: 17/10/2005)
Round our way, the local council has been hard at work rooting out anti-social behaviour. Fighting to make our community a better place, Oxford council's Crime and Nuisance Action Team, which rejoices in the no-nonsense acronym CANAcT, has been moved to put an end to the activities of a certain Malcolm Everton.
Mr Everton is a 56-year-old resident of a small development of sheltered housing. Now what, you might wonder, is it that Mr Everton indulges in that has brought him to the attention of the crusaders of CANAcT? Does he host all-night drum-and-bass parties at his crack den of a flat, frequented by the local chapter of the Hell's Angels?
Does he lurk behind a bush waiting to dash out and tip passing pensioners out of their granny wagons? Or has he been slipping on a hoodie and hanging around outside the nearby off-licence trying to browbeat passers-by into buying him a can of White Lightning and 10 Number Six? Actually, none of the above. The behaviour that has brought Mr Everton to the attention of the lynx-eyed denizens of the council's rapid response unit is this: gardening.
This particularly constant gardener some time ago became dismayed by the condition of the communal areas of his housing project. Like much of the council-owned property thereabouts, these were shabby, ill-kempt and devoid of tender loving care. So he took it on himself to be a good neighbour and tidy them up.
Over the past few months, Mr Everton has busied himself in his community, tending to plants, clearing weeds, maintaining hanging baskets and painting fences. He has cheerfully cut grass, tilled flower beds and removed litter and dog mess. He has even built a patio. He has done all the work for free - unasked and unprompted. And with a smile on his face. In another world, he is just the sort of bloke you would expect to win one of those unsung heroes awards or to be nominated for an OBE in the people's honours' list.
But that is not going to happen when the top team from our council is about. CANAcT? These swish community superheroes certainly can. Last week, determined to maintain order in sheltered housing, they issued Mr Everton with a notice banning him from the following disagreeable activities: mowing the lawn, making compost, having bonfires, painting doors and growing vegetables in any communal area. Furthermore, the team informed him that in future he must have written consent, lodged with the council, from any neighbour before he does any work for them. Hah: that showed him.
Since news of Mr Everton's banning order became public, there has been something of a rumpus locally, with some people questioning what on earth is going on. Shouldn't the council's anti-social unit be more concerned with gobbing, graffiti and urban grunge than gardening, they ask?
In response, a council spokesperson told the Oxford Times that extensive, lengthy and costly investigations began into this hugely important case after a complaint had reached them about Mr Everton's activities. But his neighbours deny anyone would ever shop him. In fact, they told the paper they appreciate his efforts, particularly as visits to their communal gardens from the council works department are sporadic and generally feature contractors whose horticultural expertise does not extend beyond gunning up a weapons-grade industrial strimmer.
Ah, well, but, you see, countered the spokesperson, even if nobody had complained, there is more to it than that. At root, this is a health-and-safety issue. Yes, it seems the council has concerns about the potential dangers of Mr Everton's gardening.
Let's think those through for a moment. Never mind that the way he handles his spade constitutes an ever-present threat to very-low-flying aircraft, just imagine where his wilful pruning of roses might lead. And let's not even think about the knock-on potential of someone slipping on his freshly mown grass, then falling head first into the neat pile of leaves he has just brushed up. It could bring a whole, tragic, new meaning to the phrase drowning in autumnal colour.
With that in mind, let us be thankful that the people of Mr Everton's neighbourhood are now entirely free of the fear of gardening. And let us fervently hope that is not an end of it. May the team be soon out there upbraiding any boy scouts attempting to help old ladies across the road without first gaining written permission.
Perhaps they could turn their attention to the enormous health-and-safety issues concerned with pedestrians giving directions to lost motorists (think of the potential transfer of germs involved in engaging in such conversation; with bird flu around the corner as well, this thoroughly irresponsible activity must be stamped out as soon as possible). As for Neighbourhood Watch, it needs to be dismantled posthaste: has anyone ever worked through just how dangerous a recklessly twitched curtain could be? You could take someone's eye out like that.
Which is all very jolly, until you realise that the actions of CANAcT and its ilk up and down the country are being financed from the £2,000 or more a year we all pay in council tax. And then it's not very funny at all.
Isn't Oxford Liberal Democrat controlled?.
Protecting us from dangerous gardeners
By Jim White
(Filed: 17/10/2005)
Round our way, the local council has been hard at work rooting out anti-social behaviour. Fighting to make our community a better place, Oxford council's Crime and Nuisance Action Team, which rejoices in the no-nonsense acronym CANAcT, has been moved to put an end to the activities of a certain Malcolm Everton.
Mr Everton is a 56-year-old resident of a small development of sheltered housing. Now what, you might wonder, is it that Mr Everton indulges in that has brought him to the attention of the crusaders of CANAcT? Does he host all-night drum-and-bass parties at his crack den of a flat, frequented by the local chapter of the Hell's Angels?
Does he lurk behind a bush waiting to dash out and tip passing pensioners out of their granny wagons? Or has he been slipping on a hoodie and hanging around outside the nearby off-licence trying to browbeat passers-by into buying him a can of White Lightning and 10 Number Six? Actually, none of the above. The behaviour that has brought Mr Everton to the attention of the lynx-eyed denizens of the council's rapid response unit is this: gardening.
This particularly constant gardener some time ago became dismayed by the condition of the communal areas of his housing project. Like much of the council-owned property thereabouts, these were shabby, ill-kempt and devoid of tender loving care. So he took it on himself to be a good neighbour and tidy them up.
Over the past few months, Mr Everton has busied himself in his community, tending to plants, clearing weeds, maintaining hanging baskets and painting fences. He has cheerfully cut grass, tilled flower beds and removed litter and dog mess. He has even built a patio. He has done all the work for free - unasked and unprompted. And with a smile on his face. In another world, he is just the sort of bloke you would expect to win one of those unsung heroes awards or to be nominated for an OBE in the people's honours' list.
But that is not going to happen when the top team from our council is about. CANAcT? These swish community superheroes certainly can. Last week, determined to maintain order in sheltered housing, they issued Mr Everton with a notice banning him from the following disagreeable activities: mowing the lawn, making compost, having bonfires, painting doors and growing vegetables in any communal area. Furthermore, the team informed him that in future he must have written consent, lodged with the council, from any neighbour before he does any work for them. Hah: that showed him.
Since news of Mr Everton's banning order became public, there has been something of a rumpus locally, with some people questioning what on earth is going on. Shouldn't the council's anti-social unit be more concerned with gobbing, graffiti and urban grunge than gardening, they ask?
In response, a council spokesperson told the Oxford Times that extensive, lengthy and costly investigations began into this hugely important case after a complaint had reached them about Mr Everton's activities. But his neighbours deny anyone would ever shop him. In fact, they told the paper they appreciate his efforts, particularly as visits to their communal gardens from the council works department are sporadic and generally feature contractors whose horticultural expertise does not extend beyond gunning up a weapons-grade industrial strimmer.
Ah, well, but, you see, countered the spokesperson, even if nobody had complained, there is more to it than that. At root, this is a health-and-safety issue. Yes, it seems the council has concerns about the potential dangers of Mr Everton's gardening.
Let's think those through for a moment. Never mind that the way he handles his spade constitutes an ever-present threat to very-low-flying aircraft, just imagine where his wilful pruning of roses might lead. And let's not even think about the knock-on potential of someone slipping on his freshly mown grass, then falling head first into the neat pile of leaves he has just brushed up. It could bring a whole, tragic, new meaning to the phrase drowning in autumnal colour.
With that in mind, let us be thankful that the people of Mr Everton's neighbourhood are now entirely free of the fear of gardening. And let us fervently hope that is not an end of it. May the team be soon out there upbraiding any boy scouts attempting to help old ladies across the road without first gaining written permission.
Perhaps they could turn their attention to the enormous health-and-safety issues concerned with pedestrians giving directions to lost motorists (think of the potential transfer of germs involved in engaging in such conversation; with bird flu around the corner as well, this thoroughly irresponsible activity must be stamped out as soon as possible). As for Neighbourhood Watch, it needs to be dismantled posthaste: has anyone ever worked through just how dangerous a recklessly twitched curtain could be? You could take someone's eye out like that.
Which is all very jolly, until you realise that the actions of CANAcT and its ilk up and down the country are being financed from the £2,000 or more a year we all pay in council tax. And then it's not very funny at all.
lord summerisle said:
you just cant dream this stuff up...
Oh yes you can...it just requires very large amount of LSD25, ketamine and peyote, coupled with a smattering of out of date Nut roast, lentil casserole and soya milk, oh and mustn't forget, one lenilists used corn plaster for extra zing.
Now we have PROOF that the loonies are running the bin!!!
I can now understand why a guy takes an AK47 and turns it on mankind, when you hear of moronic idiots like this ASBO-crew!!!!
FFS what happened to common sense????? Sorry Britain voted for moronic PC Labour shitehawks for the third time didn't it!!! Thank God I'm no longer there!!!!!
I can now understand why a guy takes an AK47 and turns it on mankind, when you hear of moronic idiots like this ASBO-crew!!!!
FFS what happened to common sense????? Sorry Britain voted for moronic PC Labour shitehawks for the third time didn't it!!! Thank God I'm no longer there!!!!!
It was the compost heap what done it. We can't afford the risk of unattended compost heaps roaming the countryside whilst festering & spewing out greenhouse gases (why couldn't he build a compost heap in the traditional, correct & proper way using the green bin provided, at a small charge, by his caring local authority?). Loose compost heaps are not only an eye-sore, they're also a potential accident waiting to happen: somebody could trip over one & have their eye out. Then they could sue the council for damages & where would that leave the council tax-payer? God's teeth, what's this about a patio? Has he got approval? Does it comply to ISO9000? or 9001? Are there the necessary quality plans in place? Were relevant management strategies decided upon before implementing the initial planning concepts? Were the correct & lengthy proceedures adhered to for planning & finance, or has he just gone & made a patio without any committe meetings or planning permission? It's digusting, couldn't the Police do anything about it? Loose cannons like this should be more stringently controlled before everybody thinks they can just go out & build patios & compost heaps.
wits are in charge there...
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