Discussion
Stolen from another site, Made me laugh!
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. Complain and whine about getting fat.
Get in shower. Look for face cloth, armcloth, loincloth, foot sponge, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 vitamins.
Condition hair with Cucumber and Lamphrey conditioner with enhanced natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for ten minutes until red raw. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that it's all come off.
Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot.
Turn off shower. Spray mould spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nail/tweezers (if you can find them). Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If husband seen, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake dangly bits at her shouting "Way Hey!"
Look in mirror and suck in gut to see your manly physique. Admire size of dangly bits in mirror, scratch and sniff fingers.
Get in shower. Don't bother to look for wash cloth, don't need one.
Wash face. Wash armpits. Laugh at how loud fart sounds in the shower.
Wash dangly bits and the surrounding area. Wash bum leaving hair on soap.
Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner. Make Mohican hairstyle with shampoo.
Pull back curtain to see self in mirror. Wee in shower. Rinse off and get out of shower.
Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain was outside bath for whole shower time. Partially dry off. Look at self in mirror, flex muscles and admire size of dangly bits again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.
Leave bathroom light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist, as you pass wife, pull off towel, grab dangly bits, go "Yeah baby" and thrust pelvis at her.
Put on yesterday's clothes.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. Complain and whine about getting fat.
Get in shower. Look for face cloth, armcloth, loincloth, foot sponge, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 vitamins.
Condition hair with Cucumber and Lamphrey conditioner with enhanced natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for ten minutes until red raw. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that it's all come off.
Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot.
Turn off shower. Spray mould spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nail/tweezers (if you can find them). Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If husband seen, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake dangly bits at her shouting "Way Hey!"
Look in mirror and suck in gut to see your manly physique. Admire size of dangly bits in mirror, scratch and sniff fingers.
Get in shower. Don't bother to look for wash cloth, don't need one.
Wash face. Wash armpits. Laugh at how loud fart sounds in the shower.
Wash dangly bits and the surrounding area. Wash bum leaving hair on soap.
Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner. Make Mohican hairstyle with shampoo.
Pull back curtain to see self in mirror. Wee in shower. Rinse off and get out of shower.
Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain was outside bath for whole shower time. Partially dry off. Look at self in mirror, flex muscles and admire size of dangly bits again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.
Leave bathroom light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist, as you pass wife, pull off towel, grab dangly bits, go "Yeah baby" and thrust pelvis at her.
Put on yesterday's clothes.
cotty said:
Or
Have boiler and water tank ripped out to have a combie installed. Have no hot water for weekend and ring ex as ask if you can come over for a shower.
Drive over, thank ex for being understanding, get naked in shower, find extra pair of hands helping you wash.
Her new fella made you feel comfy then?
mmmmmmm RWD cossie 
Sounds fun mate , err yes bikes on dorset dawdles in freezing weather and cold tyres can be fun especialy if you throw a roundabout in , and bit of sideways and a wheelie all in one 
I think Steve T had a good laugh at that one as i was trying to keep the thing on the stright and narrow 
I think Steve T had a good laugh at that one as i was trying to keep the thing on the stright and narrow Gassing Station | The Pie & Piston Archive | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff