700 million

[puggit]

700 million doner kebabs are sold in Britain each year

:eek:

Fact just given on 'The F word' (Ramsay's new programme)

[2 Smokin Barrels]

Luckily no sheep were harmed in the making of this product.

[stig]

Shame they don't turn that c0ck Giles into one!

[Ferg]

9 million bicycles in Beijing.

[2 Smokin Barrels]

The first of a million kisses

[Ferg]

Millie'n'Billie

Billie I wonder why are we insane
Will we ever get better
Will we stay the same
Billie I'm worried

Millie don't worry
No one knows our pain
Being in love is crazy not alone that way
I know you're worried today

God made love crazy so we wouldn't feel alone
He was thinking of us he was thinking of us
God made love crazy so we wouldn't feel so alone

Billie my mind seems to wander
To events of a night long ago
Driving alone with our guilt well concealed
In the trunk of your '68 Olds

Millie our world's an asylum
And our minds like you say ain't that straight
But you know and I know our passion's
Not deformed it's true I'd say
We'll love our lifetime

God made love crazy so we wouldn't feel alone
He was thinking of us he was thinking of us
God made love crazy so we wouldn't feel so alone

Billie I dream of our children
They're frightening and gruesome and sad
And I don't want them growing inside me
They're no price for the love that we have

Oh Millie oh Billie criminally insane
Oh Millie oh Billie

Oh Billie it's fresh in my memory
The night that it had to be done
You with your pick axe and scissors
And you with your shovel and gun

And I liked your late husband Donald
But such torture his memory brings
All sliced up and sealed tight in baggies
Guess love makes you do funny things

Oh Millie oh Billie criminally insane
Oh Millie oh Billie

[2 Smokin Barrels]

Put your head against my life
What do you hear
A million words just trying to make
The love song of the year
Close your eyes but don’t forget
What you have heard
A man who’s trying to say three words
The words that make me scared

A million love songs later
And here I am trying to tell you that I care
A million love songs later
And here I am
Looking to the future now
This is what I see
A million chances pass me by
A million chances to hold you
Take me back, take me back
To where I used to be
To hide away from all my truth
Through the light I see

A million love songs later
And here I am trying to tell you that I care
A million love songs later
And here I am.

[Ferg]

[simpo two]

Ferg said:

9 million bicycles in Beijing.

OK you've lost me - what's the connection between Katie Melua and bikes in Beijing?

[2 Smokin Barrels]

Rubber little lady, slicker than a weasel
Grimy as an alley
Loves me like no other lover
Billion dollar baby
Rubber little monster, baby, I adore you
Man or woman living couldn’t love me like you, baby
We go dancing nighty in the attic
While the moon is rising in the sky
If I’m too rough, tell me
I’m so scared your little head will come off in my hands
I got you in the dimestore
No other little girl could everhold you
Any tighter, any tighter than me, bay
Billion dollar baby
Reckless like a gambler , million dollar maybe
Foaming like a dog that’s been infected by the rabies
We go dancing nighty in the attic
While the moon is rising the sky
If I’m too rough , tell me
I’m so scared your little head will come off in my hands
Million dollar baby
Billion dollar bay
Trillion dollar baby
Zillion dollar baby

[Ferg]

simpo two said:

OK you've lost me - what's the connection between Katie Melua and bikes in Beijing?

If you listened to her music instead of lusting after her fit young body, sexy eyes, perfect skin and tumbling curls you'd know it's her current single.

Excuse me I have to lie down

PS Sorry Steve I have to leave this nonsense for a phone call.

[2 Smokin Barrels]

Ferg said:

simpo two said: OK you've lost me - what's the connection between Katie Melua and bikes in Beijing? If you listened to her music instead of lusting after her fit young body, sexy eyes, perfect skin and tumbling curls you'd know it's her current single. Excuse me I have to lie down PS Sorry Steve I have to leave this nonsense for a phone call.

I'm in the phone booth, it's the one across the hall.
If you don't answer, I'll just ring it off the wall.
I know he's there, but I just had to call.
Don't leave me hanging on the telephone.
I heard your mother, now she's going out the door.
Did she go to work or just go to the store?
All those things she said, I told you to ignore.
Oh why can't we talk again?
Don't leave me hanging on the telephone.
It's good to hear your voice, you know it's been so long.
If I don't get your calls then everything goes wrong.
I want to tell you something you've known all along.
Don't leave me hanging on the telephone.
I had to interrupt and stop this conversation.
Your voice across the line gives me a strange sensation.
I'd like to talk when I can show you my affection.
Oh I can't control myself!
Don't leave me hanging on the telephone.
Hang up and run to me! Oh!

[Bomber Denton]

I'd like to be Katie Melua's bicycle.

[2 Smokin Barrels]

Bomber Denton said:

I'd like to be Katie Melua's bicycle.

I'd heard you were an old bike

[Ferg]

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

You say black I say white
You say bark I say bite
You say shark I say hey man
Jaws was never my scene
And I don't like Star Wars
You say Rolls I say Royce
You say God give me a choice
You say Lord I say Christ
I don't believe in Peter Pan
Frankenstein or Superman
All I wanna do is

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my
Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties all year!
Fat bottomed girls
They'll be riding today
So look out for those beauties oh yeah
On your marks get set go
Bicycle race bicycle race bicycle race
Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
Bicycle bicycle bicycle bicycle
Bicycle race

You say coke I say caine
You say John I say Wayne
Hot dog I say cool it man
I don't wanna be the President of America
You say smile I say cheese
Cartier I say please
Income tax I say Jesus
I don't wanna be a candidate for
Vietnam or Watergate
Cause all I wanna do is

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

[Nuggs]

I have a bike
You can ride it if you like
It has a basket, a bell
And other things to make it look good.
I'd give it to you if I could
But I borrowed it...

[2 Smokin Barrels]

My white bicycle, my white bicycle

Riding all around the street
Four o’clock and they’re all asleep
I’m not tired and it’s so late
Moving fast everything looks great.

My white bicycle, my white bicycle

See that man, he’s all alone
Looks so happy but he’s far from home
Ring my bell, smile at him
Better kick over his garbage bin

My white bicycle, my white bicycle

The rain comes down but I don’t care
The wind is blowing in my hair
Seagulls flying in the air

My white bicycle

Lead:

Policeman shouts but I don’t see him
They’re one thing I don’t believe in
Find some judge, but it’s not leavin’

Lift both hands, his head in disgrace
Shines no light upon my face
Through the darkness, we still speed
My white bicycle and me

My white bicycle, my white bicycle

[Ferg]

[caduceus]

Bomber Denton said:

I'd like to be Katie Melua's bicycle seat.

We know sniffer, we know

[R988]

Ferg said:

simpo two said: OK you've lost me - what's the connection between Katie Melua and bikes in Beijing? If you listened to her music instead of lusting after her fit young body, sexy eyes, perfect skin and tumbling curls you'd know it's her current single. Excuse me I have to lie down PS Sorry Steve I have to leave this nonsense for a phone call.

Dont listen to him, the song 9 million bicycles is bloody awful, she however is smoking hot, block your ears and open your eyes my friend