Discussion
And the nominees are:
9. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk
cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed
gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him
ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This
resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both
him and his sister.
8. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his
home died of suffocation, according to police. He was
approximately 6'2" tall and weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a
pleated skirt, white bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a
woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying to create a
schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a military gas
mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose
attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to
one end of a hollow wooden tube approx. 12" long and 3" in
diameter. The tube's other end was inserted into his rectum for
reasons unknown, and was the cause of his suffocation. Police
found the task of explaining the circumstances of his death to
his family very awkward.
7. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low
altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they
decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost
control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found
dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.
6. A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911 call. She had no
details before arriving, except that someone had reported that
his father was not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found the
man face down on the couch naked. When she rolled him over to
check for a pulse and to start CPR, she noticed burn marks around
his genitals. After the ambulance arrived and removed the man -
who was declared dead on arrival at the hospital - the police
made a closer inspection of the couch, and noticed that the man
had made a hole between the cushions. Upon flipping the couch
over, they discovered what had caused his death. Apparently, the
man had a habit of putting his penis between the cushions, down
into the hole and between two electrical sanders (with the
sandpaper removed, for obvious reasons). According to the story,
after his orgasm the discharge shorted out one of the sanders,
electrocuting him.
5. A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on
highway near Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously
injuring her passenger and killing herself. As a commonplace road
accident, this would not have qualified for a Darwin nomination,
were it not for the fact that the driver's attention had been
distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring (pocket animal), which had
started urgently beeping for food as she drove along. In an
attempt to press the correct buttons to save the Tamagotchi's
life, the woman lost her own.
4. A 22-year-old Reston, VA, man was found dead after he tried to
use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle.
Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped
a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around one
foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink
Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police
spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his
car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that he had
assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and
the ground" Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of
death was "Major trauma".
3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he
and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake
as a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate
- was hospitalised.
2. Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed
the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the
building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights,
power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two
technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering
the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the
dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses
later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into
his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette
lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in
the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles
away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was
virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected
of causing the blast had never been thought of as 'bright' by his
peers.
The latest nominee for this year's Darwin Award goes to....
1. Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt
Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the
local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone
are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and
dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his
buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with
Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the
mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain,
collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez,
the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the
ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum
was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during
the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and
remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was
compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of
the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to
injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just
purchased from the pro-shop, and was using to balance himself.
Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining
threesome were asked to leave the course.
9. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk
cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed
gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him
ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This
resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both
him and his sister.
8. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his
home died of suffocation, according to police. He was
approximately 6'2" tall and weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a
pleated skirt, white bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a
woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying to create a
schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a military gas
mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose
attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to
one end of a hollow wooden tube approx. 12" long and 3" in
diameter. The tube's other end was inserted into his rectum for
reasons unknown, and was the cause of his suffocation. Police
found the task of explaining the circumstances of his death to
his family very awkward.
7. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low
altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they
decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost
control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found
dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.
6. A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911 call. She had no
details before arriving, except that someone had reported that
his father was not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found the
man face down on the couch naked. When she rolled him over to
check for a pulse and to start CPR, she noticed burn marks around
his genitals. After the ambulance arrived and removed the man -
who was declared dead on arrival at the hospital - the police
made a closer inspection of the couch, and noticed that the man
had made a hole between the cushions. Upon flipping the couch
over, they discovered what had caused his death. Apparently, the
man had a habit of putting his penis between the cushions, down
into the hole and between two electrical sanders (with the
sandpaper removed, for obvious reasons). According to the story,
after his orgasm the discharge shorted out one of the sanders,
electrocuting him.
5. A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on
highway near Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously
injuring her passenger and killing herself. As a commonplace road
accident, this would not have qualified for a Darwin nomination,
were it not for the fact that the driver's attention had been
distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring (pocket animal), which had
started urgently beeping for food as she drove along. In an
attempt to press the correct buttons to save the Tamagotchi's
life, the woman lost her own.
4. A 22-year-old Reston, VA, man was found dead after he tried to
use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle.
Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped
a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around one
foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink
Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police
spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his
car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that he had
assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and
the ground" Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of
death was "Major trauma".
3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he
and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake
as a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate
- was hospitalised.
2. Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed
the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the
building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights,
power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two
technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering
the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the
dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses
later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into
his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette
lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in
the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles
away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was
virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected
of causing the blast had never been thought of as 'bright' by his
peers.
The latest nominee for this year's Darwin Award goes to....
1. Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt
Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the
local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone
are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and
dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his
buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with
Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the
mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain,
collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez,
the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the
ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum
was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during
the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and
remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was
compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of
the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to
injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just
purchased from the pro-shop, and was using to balance himself.
Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining
threesome were asked to leave the course.
Raffles said:
but the last one didn't die...
I always thought Darwin Award nominees needed to die. Is that not the whole point?!
Great post BTW. Some good stuff there...
ah the requirement isnt death, but removing their stupidity from the gene pool.
So while death will prevent one from breeding, so will the removal of a guy's nads. (For the moment at least).
vixpy1 said:
6. A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911 call. She had no
details before arriving, except that someone had reported that
his father was not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found the
man face down on the couch naked. When she rolled him over to
check for a pulse and to start CPR, she noticed burn marks around
his genitals. After the ambulance arrived and removed the man -
who was declared dead on arrival at the hospital - the police
made a closer inspection of the couch, and noticed that the man
had made a hole between the cushions. Upon flipping the couch
over, they discovered what had caused his death. Apparently, the
man had a habit of putting his penis between the cushions, down
into the hole and between two electrical sanders (with the
sandpaper removed, for obvious reasons). According to the story,
after his orgasm the discharge shorted out one of the sanders,
electrocuting him.
That's the way Vixpy's going to go.
our welsh freind is a good nominee .
Thelemming said:
but the last one didn't die...
I always thought Darwin Award nominees needed to die. Is that not the whole point?!
Great post BTW. Some good stuff there...
ah the requirement isnt death, but removing their stupidity from the gene pool.
So while death will prevent one from breeding, so will the removal of a guy's nads. (For the moment at least).
Ah yes I see...
I think they are a couple of years old
See here for the 2005 nominees
www.darwinawards.com/darwin/index_darwin2005.html
See here for the 2005 nominees
www.darwinawards.com/darwin/index_darwin2005.html
cotty said:
I think they are a couple of years old
See here for the 2005 nominees
www.darwinawards.com/darwin/index_darwin2005.html
The Tamagotchi reference gives it away as being old
That nutter with the wire cutters in the other thread should get a mention though
vixpy1 said:
And the nominees are:
The latest nominee for this year's Darwin Award goes to....
1. Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt
Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the
local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone
are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and
dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his
buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with
Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the
mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain,
collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez,
the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the
ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum
was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during
the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and
remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was
compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of
the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to
injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just
purchased from the pro-shop, and was using to balance himself.
Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining
threesome were asked to leave the course.
I am surprised that this qualifies, since they refused entry to the Welsh Rugby Fan who hacked off his own testicles with a pair of wire cutters.....
Here's a nomination from Wales...
www.theaustralian.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5744,17262660^1702,00.html
www.theaustralian.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5744,17262660^1702,00.html
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